Mary Ellen At The Church Turned Up

'Turned Up' is a music hall song written by Herbert Rule and Henry Castling

In our little village there has been a tragedy,
Deary, deary me, such a terrible tragedy
Mary Ellen Bottomley today should have been wed,
It's a good job that she didn't, so everybody said,

CHO
Mary Ellen at the church turned up,
Her Mother turned up and her Dad turned up,,
Her sister Gert and her rich uncle Bert,
And the parson in his long white shirt turned up,
But no bridegroom with the ring turned up
But a telegraph boy with his nose turned up
Brought a telegram that said, he didn't want to wed,
And they'd find him in the river with his toes turned up.

The people waiting in the street, they fairly blocked the road,
They waited in the road for the money the bridegroom owed,
My heart is broken, cried the bride, so Jim the butcher's son
He rushed into his shop and brought her out another one.

A week went by, then someone learned the bridegroom wasn't drowned,
He went around and found John asleep in his bed so sound,
His real wife, she was waiting at the church that day, it's true,
Said, if there'd been a wedding there'd have been a fun'ral too.