The Secrets of Coffee Date Seduction

The way to progress to the next stage with a woman after you have her phone number is to invite her on a coffee date. A cafe has the perfect casual atmosphere to assist you in building a good high quality connection with the woman you desire.

Initially, women are ten times more likely to accept an offer to share a coffee with you rather than accept an offer to dinner. That's because a coffee date doesn't have an undercurrent of intimacy connected to it like a dinner date does. It's also short and there's no possibility for her to become caught in an undesirable situation. There's also no pressure for her to become intimate with you because a cafe is a very public place.

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Men grossly underestimate the importance of these factors when asking a woman out for the first time. Women take things slowly during the initial stages of a courtship. A short coffee date is the perfect stepping stone to get you to an official second date.

The average woman needs to be in your company for 8 hours before she will feel comfortable enough to become intimate with you. How you make use of these 8 hours is of crucial importance if you ever want to be with her. Taking her on a short coffee date for no longer than 40 minutes and then taking her on a second date which lasts for seven hours is the best way to utilize these 8 hours. First dates such as dinner and/or the movies don't work because of their failure to utilize these 8 hours correctly.

When you spend longer than 40 minutes with a woman on your first date you run the risk of her becoming bored with you. No matter how good your flirting and conversational skills are the strength of the connection you're creating will reach its peak and level out, usually before the 40 minute mark.

After spending 40 minutes with her talking and flirting it's totally natural for her to want to become intimate with you. When this doesn't happen women can become frustrated and bored with you. The catch is, no matter how well you flirt with her, although she'll feel like becoming intimate with you, she won't because she hasn't been with you for 8 hours.

This is where time fractionating comes into play. When the 8 hours is split into a 40 minute coffee date followed by a 7 hour second date, the chances of her wanting to become intimate with you skyrocket. Whether the girl is you're future wife or whether she is your next short term fling, the most effective way of succeeding with her is a short 40 minute date followed by a long 7 hour date.

If you can connect well with her on a short coffee date, she'll be very receptive to the idea of going on a second date with you. You'll also have all the right ideas about where to take her and what she likes to eat. The fact that you've taken the time to get to know her a little before asking her out on a date will make a difference to how the actual date turns out.

Dinner as a first date fails because it drags on for too long and after the 40 minute mark even a good conversationalist runs out of things to say. It doesn't leave any room for the seduction process to breathe and grow naturally and after two hours of the same thing she'll become bored. She might not want to see you again because she's spent two hours with you and nothing really happened. You can connect with her just as well by only spending 40 minutes with her on a short coffee date.

If you can generate a good connection and then end the date after 40 minutes it will leave her in a state of anticipation. When you ask her out again you'll know exactly where to take her and what to feed her. She'll be much more receptive to the idea of going on a second date with you and by the end of your perfectly planned second date she might not be able to take her hands off you.

When we communicate, we do so through the lens of a primary format. The format you communicate through is dependent on your personality type. The study of these differing formats of communication is known as NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). Understanding these formats can be beneficial whilst communicating with women and this is how NLP became associated with seduction.

When we cause a woman to align and harmonize with our desires and intentions through the use of effective communication, it is known as seduction.

This is why NLP and seduction can work wonders together. When a man is able to quickly analyze and decode a woman's communications, he can easily build rapport and establish trust which in turn generates a connection that the seduction can be founded upon.

People adopt a certain type of representational system whilst communicating and primarily use one of four possible systems dependent on their personality type. The four representational systems are classified as audio, visual, olfactory and kinesthetic. When a man communicates with a woman whilst adopting her representational system to do so, he can build a connection with her much sooner than if he was to ignore this conversational dynamic.

Someone who is operating through the lens of a visual system will often communicate using terminology associated with vision. A typical example might be, "Try to picture what I'm saying here. As soon as you can envision what I mean you'll probably change your view point. Then you'll be able to see what I mean"

If you practice a touch, it can become very easy to converse with women whilst employing the same representational system as they are using when you communicate and flirt with them.

If a woman's primary representational system was 'audio', you would hear her use terminology like, "It just sounded like a good idea. When I heard it I tuned in straight away. His voice had a soft tone so I had to listen carefully and I'm glad I did"

If a woman is adopting the kinaesthetic representational system as her primary mode of communication she's all about touch and sensations associated with it. Her sentences would sound similar to this, "As soon as I touched on the topic I could tell that he didn't feel comfortable talking about it. I just wanted to make him feel better but he seemed hurt and never warmed to the idea of discussing it"

It's not too often that people use the olfactory system as their preferred hierarchy as it's more common for people to be either kinaesthitic, visual's or audio's. An example of the olfactory system is, "He's got great taste. I didn't feel bitter at all when he said he might not be able to make it. But he showed up any way and it was the icing on my cake"

Now that you're aware of how the different systems operate you'll be able to easily pick up on what system a woman is primarily using. You can then use that system to communicate with her much more effectively. Below is an example of a communication breakdown on a very subliminal level.

If a woman said, "I could really picture myself going there and I just love the look of that place, it looks so nice", her preferred system is clearly 'visual'. If an 'audio' man was to reply to this statement with, "Sounds like a good idea. It seems nice and quiet like you could really just tune out", the woman would be left feeling misunderstood.

Although the man is agreeing with the woman in the above example, to her it still seems like he is speaking a different language. It will rub her the wrong way at a subconscious level and she won't feel totally connected to him. However, if the man responded with, "I can see what you mean, that does look good. I too could definitely visualize myself going there", the outcome would be a lot different and the woman would be more at ease around the man.

When a man can easily identify the woman's preferred representational system and is able to utilize the same system, it's natural for the woman to feel more comfortable around the man. It can become easy with a little practice and it's always an advantage to have this embedded within your conversational dynamics.