Maui, the Magic Isle

Folks on Maui always say to each other, "We're so lucky we live Maui...!" I especially feel that way when I drop visitors off at the airport in Kahului. I know they wish they could stay...and I am so glad I don't have to leave.

Even the people who live on the Big Island hate to leave! I just drove my poor daughter to the airport this morning and she was moaning and groaning. "Look at this gorgeous weather and look at this sparkling air! Oh, I hate to go...!" but she has an organic coffee farm on the Big Island and she had to get back to tend her plants. Not that they need much tending, but maybe it's pruning time or something. I'm no farmer...

What she was dreading was...going back to the Vog. The volcano has been going off for twenty-five years now, and a couple of months ago Madame Pele stepped it up. Another rift opened, so the volcanic gasses are really belching out, full blast. I think it's terribly unhealthy to breathe that stuff. I wish all my kin could move over here, but the real estate is in a slump on the Big Island so it's hard to sell at this point in time. The real estate is in no slump here on beautiful Maui, however. Everyone wants to live here, including my daughter. What can you do?

When you come to Maui, you'll want to dine at Mama's Fish House where all the movie stars go. It's an Experience. But a nice dinner for two will set you back between $200 and $300, and well worth it.

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An affiliate marketer is someone who sells other people's stuff online and who earns a commission for doing so. There are folks all over the world who are earning thousands of dollars a MONTH all by themselves in a spare bedroom of their home and who can eat at Mama's Fish House every night of the week if they want to. Sound good?

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These two groups of females met each other for the first time in 1820. King Kamehameha, The Great, had died shortly before the first boatload of missionaries arrived in Hawaii. On his deathbed, the King had appointed his favorite wife, Ka'ahumanu, to be the regent, reigning over his kingdom and over his son, Liholiho, a young man of 22.

Queen Ka'ahumanu was a very clever and feisty woman. The first thing she did, about six months after her husband was safely buried, was to destroy the old religion, the Kapu (forbidden) system.

In the days of Ancient Hawaii, women and men were never allowed to eat together, although the men did all the cooking (imagine that!) and even pounded the poi...which is a very hard job. Bananas were forbidden to females; little girls even had their eyes torn out by the Kahuna (priests) if they were caught innocently eating the forbidden fruit. Certain delicious fish and other delicacies were also kapu to any human who did not sport a penis.

So, the Queen and Prince Liholiho's mother (also a Queen) gave a big banquet, later called 'Ai Noa (the free eating) at which the chiefs, male and female, ate together. Many books say that the Queen got Liholiho drunk so he would eat with her, but I think it probably wasn't hard at all to get him in that condition because, according to eyewitnesses at the time, Liholiho hugely enjoyed spiritous liquors. She might have had to get the adults drunk because, after all, the Kahuna had been filling peoples' heads for centuries with stories of all the horrors that were lying in wait for breakers of Kapu. And, anyhow, what's a banquet without a little joy juice!

So they ate and...WHOA! Nothing happened! No earthquakeas! No tidal waves! Not even a sudden lava flow... The people, having been lied to for so many years, were outraged. They had been expecting, at the very least, the end of the world. So as the chiefs were eating and drinking and making merry the commoners tore off in a rampage. They broke up all the temples and threw down all the idols. The Kahuna ran for their lives and so ended the Kapu system.

Into this spiritual vacuum sailed the Calvinist missionaries from New England. What a clash of cultures it must have been! The ladies of New England, buttoned up to the neck, with long sleeves and skirts that swept the ground, met the ladies of Hawaii, who were simply and elegantly and sensibly attired in their birthday suits.

How shocked each group must have been! The Hawaiians did not view the human body with fear and disgust as the missionaries did, but perhaps the concept of "fashion" prevailed. Before too many years had passed, these strong-minded Hawaiian ladies found themselves also in garments that buttoned to the neck, with long sleeves and skirts that swept the ground.

Fashion, it seems, always carries the day, never mind confort and good sense...