Is it Saturday again, so soon? How quickly the days seem to fly, yet how long it can seem if you are in the middle of doing something you don't want to do, like organize your files. When I'm writing music, I often feel like time is suspended. I'll look at the clock at 8:30 and say, 'I have time before I got to bed to work on this' and I will get so focused on what I am doing that when I look at the clock again, and see that it's after 11, I am shocked.

I think it's got to be good for us to be that engrossed in our creative endeavors. Nothings worse than watching the clock wishing recess would come. While I think it's good to organize time into things like hours and days, I also think we spend too much time worrying about time, and we need to let that go. But I'm not sure how we can do that in such a busy life as most people have.

I try to have at least one, preferably two, mornings a week without an alarm being set, so I can just wake up when my body is ready to wake up. I also try to have one or two mornings a week with no urgent things to be done right away. Most particularly, I try to have one day a week that is just for me, where I book nothing but me-time. Me time to sleep in, to have coffee in bed with the newspaper, to walk, to read, to be.

I've also fallen into a kind of organization of time that I guess you could call time management. I update my schedule and email my students and answer emails from prospective students on Friday or Saturday. I also write weekly emails to friends and family on Friday or Saturday. Saturday or Sunday I write and post my blogs. In the mornings, when I get up, I do yesterday's dishes. Sunday nights, when the weekend composing or writing is over, I back-up my data. If I can, I try to pay all my bills and rent at one time, at the beginning of the month. I try to shop once a week and get everything major I need for the week's meals and supplies.

Every night, I ask myself to write at least a page of script before I go to bed. That's this month's goal. If it was songwriting, then I'd ask myself to write a verse or a chorus, or try to finish something I started. None of this is a hard and fast rule, it's a routine I favor that helps me deal with the stress of having a million things to do, and sometimes looking at the calendar and feeling overwhelmed.

The biggest thing I need to work on is sleep. I'll just get myself organized and with it and something will happen - like a late night out at a show - and suddenly my sleep pattern is thrown off and I find myself going to bed later and later and later. So I have to get into a routine of a rather firm bedtime so that I get sufficient sleep. Lack of sleep isn't good for creativity, or health, or living stress free.

Sleep, breathe... repeat :)

Okay. Here it is. I was actually planning to write this last week, but you know how it is. What with one thing and another. Closets to clean, ironing to do. It seems like the only time I do housework is when I'm meant to be doing something else.

Oh, I'm great at making lists. Lists of things to do, goals, deadlines even. My diary is full of them. Must live healthier, be more productive, not waste time. Be motivated. Live charming energetic creative self-employed life, envy of stressed-out friends embroiled in office politics and scads of overtime. Yeah!

The reality is something more like this:

8:15 - rise, make tea, write morning pages (get into creative flow)

9:00 - walk ½ hour (must exercise more)

10:00 - right, write 2 hours (put glue on chair, put bum firmly in chair)

10:05 - check email.

10:15 - figure out a) how much money I have coming in, and b) how many bills I can't pay with money I don't have. (Fall into depression. Can't work. Blocked.)

12 noon - lunch break, nap (Self-care. Know self. Biorythms. See 10:15 am)

2:00 - right, write 2 hours (gosh, running out of glue)

2:05 - check email.

2:10 - check snail mail box. People still do that, right?

2:15 - Read letter from Mom, complaining I never write back. She included stamp for reply. (I actually did write her a letter a few weeks back. Just a sec. Oh, yeah, here it is.)

3:00 - watch 'Young and Restless' (hey! do not!) Flick back and forth between Y&R & Dr. Phil (hey, do not watch dumb talk shows. Dr Phil good, though.)

4:00 - watch 'Oprah' (well, it was really good. made me think. Lots ideas for writing.)

5:00 - think about making dinner. Must have more vegetables. Lots in fridge, could make stir-fry. Or grill and put in wrap.

5:05 - check email.

6:05 - make cheese sandwich.

6:15 - play Spider Solitaire until American Idol on.

What does it mean to be limited? That's not an easy question, but let me try. It's seeing yourself as being capable of doing only 'this much'. It's having a picture in your mind that says 'this is who I am, this is what I do, this is all there is.' It's buying into the labels and definitions of the world around you.

I have more than one friend or relative who I look at and see as talented, having so much to offer. I can see their desire to explore something, or go deeper into something, and I can see their doubts holding them back. It's hard to watch someone you care about tread water because they are too scared to take a step forward, take the risk, maybe even fall, but get up and try again. I'm no paragon either, there's many times in my life when I know I haven't run with the ball the way I could have.

However, we have to forgive ourselves for our past ways of being. After all, it's difficult to think outside the box when you aren't even aware there is a box. So having the conscious awareness to see how you might hem yourself in is the first step to change.

So here's my plan of action for getting past a limitation:

-be aware. Be awake. Try to figure out what it is you say to yourself at the moment of making the choice 'not to go there'. Can you figure out how you talk to yourself at that moment? Once you are aware of the thought, the next action is to talk yourself through it.

-start small. Let go of expectation. Let go of the need for drama. If you need to walk a better path, don't plan to climb a mountain the first day. Just walk around the block. Or down the steps. Or open the door. Or put on your shoes.

-don't expect perfection. If one is, say, for example, shy%u2026 then carrying on small talk at lunch one day might be a great goal%u2026 but if you can't do it the next day, it's okay. Allow yourself to grow into it.

-get help. Many of my students come to me because they need a mentor to encourage and support their journey. I try to help them become aware of their programming, move past the limitations, free themselves from the fetters of baggage and discover their true voice. It doesn't need to be professional help - there are many support groups on the internet, forums, chat groups, your friends, etc.

-know the purpose of life is to live. Say that again. You are here to Live. To be Alive. You don't want to wake up one day and be 80, and filled with regrets. At the same time, know that the present moment is all we have. Make sure you stop and see the flowers grow, hear the birds sing, breath the air, feel the aliveness inside of you. Be still and content for a moment, for one breath. One breath at a time.

I was reading various things on the internet, as I am wont to do, I came across a blog that stated procrastination comes from a lack of self-esteem. Hmmm, I thought. Why does that statement bother me.

It's so easy to label things. Too easy.

Let's see, you aren't organized? The problem is simple, you don't think enough of yourself. Lash lash, whip whip.

Let's see, you tend to collect junk? The problem is simple, you are lacking something. What's the matter with you? Lash, lash.

Let's see, you don't finish what you start? The problem is simple, you are afraid of success. You won't amount to anything that way. Lash, lash.

I prefer to look at things another way. We lead busy lives and we have to set priorities. Frankly, writing another piece of music is much more important to me than dusting the shelves. Having coffee with a friend is much more important to me than cleaning the oven.

I have a pile of magazines and newspapers by my bed. I like to read before I go to sleep. If it takes them awhile to get into the recycle box, does that mean I think very little of myself? Sure, I'd tidy up if someone was coming over. Probably.

My girlfriend, who now lives overseas, came to visit last year. And I was going through my usual get-stressed-out washing & waxing & tidying & buying groceries. Then I sat down and remembered the last time she'd visited, when I'd bought all this food and then we were out so much we never ate at home.

I saw the stress I was putting on myself, and I thought, 'you know what, she'll just have to take me as I am. The dishes are clean, there's clean towels & sheets for her. If the floor isn't washed & waxed, who cares.' So I relaxed. And I was much less exhausted than I would have been when she arrived, and we had a lovely visit. And she never mentioned the state of the floors once.

Yes, I do procrastinate. I play. I like recess. But my bills are paid, there's groceries in the fridge, my schedule is organized and I even swept the floor today when I was waiting for the kettle to boil. Seems reasonably self-sufficient and efficient to me.

Yes, I leave things undone, and I am very aware when they are undone. But I don't think that's a lack of self-esteem. I think that's a function of being scattered by diverse demands, and not focusing my energy. When I focus on something - like writing this blog - it gets done.

Well, I was splayed by a dragon of a cold this week, which included chills and fever. I ended up taking 5 days off. I still feel lethargic and unenthused about life, but I'm trying to get my jobs done before the week begins again.

In my need for rest I found the computer and television remained off, and even listening to CDs or the radio felt invasive. I just wanted to lie on my bed, doze, and hear the birds singing outside my window.

It reminded me that in my hurry-up-and-procrastinate life style that I still don't take enough time to just be. And perhaps, just perhaps that's one reason everyone seems to be getting sick more often and staying sick longer.

We put so much pressure on ourselves. We don't get enough time off. We don't get enough sleep. We don't eat our vegetables. Our immune systems are in tatters. Certainly not being organized, dealing with clutter, and leaving things undone adds to the stress.

It's an internal program I certainly seem to have down pat. A routine, a way of being. Need to do something, put it off. Put self down for not doing it. Continue to put self down for not doing it. Start to do it, feel a huge sense of lethargy and a wave of despair wash over self. Feel like lying down. And this is when I'm well. Once it's done, and ticked off the list, there's enough other things that are undone to keep the whole process going.

So one of the things I did this week was to find an on-line, free, task organizer. I'm trying to recall all the things I'm supposed to get done, and I'm entering them with timelines. It's already set-up (it was very easy) and I can just add as I go. When I complete a task - like this blog - I can tick that it's done. And then I'll be reminded next week to do it again.

I also asked my mom to come over on the long weekend and help me clean the kitchen cupboards. I've set aside Easter weekend to start sorting the bedroom. Truly.

And I need to go through my receipts & paperwork before mid-April so I can get my taxes done on time this year!

What have you been putting off? Pick one, and start it today. Make that list. Don't forget to include a walk outside in the early spring air.

There is risk here, in our creative world. We sing with our mouths half-closed for hear someone might hear us. We walk towards a goal, but our body language says part of us is unengaged in the journey. We think about writing the book and suddenly cleaning the closet seems urgently important. We write songs that we feel no one hears, and it seems like the doors to the music industry (or whatever other entity we are trying to infiltrate) are firmly closed.

But there are people who are Making It. Yes, of course, the ones you hear on the radio, and see on tv, the ones getting the grammys and the junos and the book awards. But there are many more who are actually Making It by going outside the lines. Thinking outside the box. Forgetting what is "traditional" and stepping out. They take a huge risk. They might fall, they might fail. They sacrifice financially for a time. Often their lives are an open book. Like me, writing my blog, they share their journey & their struggle to Become with an audience of thousands.

Here are people whose stories have inspired me recently:

Jonathan Coulton
http://potw.news.yahoo.com/s/potw/61785/how-to-become-a-rock-star

Leo Babauta
http://zenhabits.net/2007/02/my-story/

John Taglieri
http://johntaglieri.com/bio.html

Each of these people take chances. They invest time & ongoing, daily effort into their vision. And it's paying off. I'll bet there are times, when the bills are due & creativity seems unreachable, when they think of quitting. I'll bet there have been times when their friends and family thought they are crazy. But they continue to put it out there, and learn, and listen, and work on their skills.

And perhaps they also take joy in the journey. Because the aim of life is not to get 'there', but to be 'here'.