Positive Thinking with Affirmations

Look! Up there in the podium!

Why is he so successful? No, it's his hair!

No, it's just hype and glam! No, it must be hypnotism!

Well, no. It's positive self affirmation???

Subliminal therapy is not new. It's practically all around us-in the TV, in the billboards, at the height of an intense basketball game. Its signs are very varied, from the continuous onslaught of a particular brand, to the nice words you repeat to yourself, or the idealized image of a winning form you play in your mind during a game. Some people get by with calling it just plain positive thinking. But those who know that most of the time, the human mind misses 80% of its actual potential AND can terribly attain much much more, have a name for what they need-positive affirmation.

First of all, some bit of science. Childhood is a stage of our lives that shows how effective this specific field of affirmation can be. Children's minds commonly operate at the subconscious level, quite comfortable with routinary, automatic things. Now, the subconscious mind accepts commands without questioning them. So a child easily grasps languages or for learns to use gadgets, sometimes faster than adults. Naturally, affirmation takes time to work well among adults. :-)

Check this out:

I am a kxy pxrson in thx organization and I am nxxdxd.

Duh?? Read on...

ARX YOU A KXY PXRSON?

Xvxn though my typxwritxr is an old modxl, it works quitx wxll xxpxct for onx of thx kxys. I havx wishxd many timxs that it workxd pxrfxctly; it is trux that thxrx arx 46 kxys that function wxll xnough, but just onx kxy not working makxs thx diffxrxncx.

Somxtimxs it sxxms to mx that cxrtain of our mxmbxrs arx likx my typxwritxr-not all thx kxy pxoplx arx working propxrly. You may say to yoursxlf: "Wxll, I am only onx pxrson; I wont makx or brxak thx organization." But it doxs makx a diffxrxncx, bxcausx an organization to bx xffxctivx, nxxds thx activx participation of xvxry mxmbxr.

So thx nxxt timx you think arx only onx pxrson and that your xfforts arxn't nxxdxd, rxmxmbxr my typxwritxr and say to yoursxlf: "I am a kxy pxrson in thx organization and I am nxxdxd."

(Thx abovx articlx appxarxd in a British Mxthodist nxwspapxr.)

So you see? It may be hard to pronounce, but it will look good on your wall...

I AM A KXY PXRSON IN THX ORGANIZATION AND I AM NXXDXD.

But the thing is, we adults can always discipline ourselves to be open to vital positive affirmation. I mean, we CAN always teach ourselves self affirmation. And believe it. I read about an Asian mathematician describe a self-affirmation process for... are you ready? Overcoming math anxieties, haha!

Anyway, for her it consists of putting oneself in a reclining position in a quiet environment with nobody to bother you. Then you mentally picture yourself playing, say, all positions of baseball. Imagine yourself holding, feeling not a baseball, but a number (sic!), any number, like a five. Imagine handling it well, throwing it accurately. Then you swing the bat and give another number, an eight, a full hit. Her point is that, at the end, self affirmation can actually rid people, especially kids, of their phobia to math and numbers.

But this is just a mere taste of what sublimination, positive thinking, or positive affirmation can really offer.

It's not:

All-or-nothing thinking. "If I don't succeed in this job, I'm a total failure."
Mental filtering. "I made so many mistakes on that project and now they don't trust me, that's why everybody keeps reminding me and following me up."
Converting positives into negatives. "Coach gave me that compliment because he knows how bad I feel."
"I passed that exam because those folks knew me and gave me a chance."
Jumping to negative conclusions. "She never smiles at me and can't look me in the eye because he thinks I have a shallow regard of her."
"She's smiling because she remembered something crazy that happened to me long ago."
Mistaking feelings for facts. "I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure."
"I don't feel well today, so I won't feel well ever."
"I don't feel well today, so how should I know how to make others feel better?"
Self put-downs. "I've never given treats and rewards to myself-ever."
"I'm weak, stupid or ugly."

WARNING: Before going to the part filled with positive-thinking-and-what-not, perhaps we need to ask first of all the question that gets the ball rolling:

What sort of a day will it be without positive thinking?

Rotten of course!!! If there's nothing to neutralize all those bad ideas, what's to stop you from plowing through the day, plain brute force style?

8:00 AM - Shower. Leave the top off the toothpaste. Dress for success. Pick a fight with somebody at home. Storm out of the house. Slam door.

9:00 - At the office. Call somebody "kid." Write angry letters. Make angry phone calls. Reschedule assertiveness training.

10:00 - Order at the canteen. Then send it back. No tip! (Nota bene: No guilt, no mercy).

12:00 - Lunch with Thorny. Tell him you're not lending.

1:00 - Leave someone on hold. Talk behind someone's back. Express what's inside you.

3:00 - Big Meeting. Grab all the credit. Blame mistakes on others. Look out for number one. Step on numbers two to seven.

4:30 - Tell Louise she can't leave early. She can make her doctor's appointment after 5.

5:00 - Stop at Louise's desk and overwater her geranium. Pick on someone smaller.

Comprehendez vous?

Adapted from Randy Cohen's Be Your Mean Self Today, which appeared on: Savvy (June 1983) Copyright 1983 by Savvy Magazine, Savy Co., New York, N. Y. 10011.

Using hopeful statements. "I've been through countless loopholes like this. We can make it!"
Forgiving yourself. "I made a mistake but that doesn't make me a bad person."
Avoiding 'should' and 'must' statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you may be setting unreasonable demands on yourself - or others. Removing these words from your self-talk can give you and others more realistic expectations.
Focusing on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Ask yourself, "What other things have gone well recently?" "What personal skills do I have that have helped me cope with challenging situations in the past?"
Relabelling upsetting thoughts. "Which of my strengths can help me respond in a constructive way?" "What can I think and do to make this less stressful?"
Encouraging yourself. "I did feel nervous during my presentation. But my colleagues said it was good, so that means I got my message across."
Aiming for healthy self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem lies in the middle of the two extremes. It means having a balanced, accurate view of yourself. For instance, you may have a positive opinion of yourself, and at the same time knowing full well that you got some limits.
With healthy self-esteem you are fully aware of who and what you are, and what responsibilities and duties you have. You like and respect yourself despite your faults, but also don't inflate your strengths. You recognize your basic worth as an individual yet don't compare yourself to others.

So, how did reading this go for you? What?!? you still can't drive a car into crowded areas? And... say that again? No license?

Kidding aside. Just remember. Positive thinking is not...

"I've never done it before."
"It's too complicated."
"I don't have the resources."
"There's not enough time."
"There's no way it will work."
"Nobody has ever tried doing it that way."
"No one thinks I'm worth talking to."
"I'm not going to get any better at this."

Positive thinking is ...

"I'll tell those interested how it went."
"Let's see it this way."
"Mouths aren't good at searching, so let's get to work!"
"Some of the things I do may not be priorities after all."
"Let me try."
"Let's consult first; otherwise, let's just wait for corrections."
"Maybe I'm the only to notice it's so quiet here."
"I'll give it another try."