The Truth about One Middleaged Woman

Monday my long- time friend Linda is coming into town. She is being picked up at the airport by Tom( #1), her fiance. They want to stop by to see us, have some dinner out and then comtinue the drive to his home. Simple right?

Not for Hubby! He told his friend Tom (not the same one above) that he could pick him up at the airport on Monday and they he and his wife, Sandy could go out with us on the way home. Of course Tom #2 had no idea what Hubby was talking about!

Sandy thought this was a hoot! Tom #2 said he hadn't planned on being any where that required a ride to or from any airport.

Ah, it was so simple and it still got totally out of control! Monday Hubby and I are going out to dinner with Linda and Tom (#1).

Three quick examples:

One: The grocery list said Door Stop. We had discussed a need for this. Actually it was my husband's idea. What did he buy? Dove Soap. He forgot his glasses and that is what he thought it said. Yes, a large collection of Dove Soap can serve as a door stop.

Two: When asked to purchase 1% or 2% cottage cheese for me, he came home with 1% cottage cheese with pineapple. It's not bad, but not what I wanted to put in my lasagna recipe.

Three: I want to shed a bit of weight. Hubby bought me bear claws at the grocery. He knows I love them. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they don't fit my diet plan. The dog loved them!

I am developing a computer printable shopping list. This way a simple check list should resolve most of these problems. Maybe...

I am a writer. Yup, that's what I do for a living so I am always on the look out for unique story lines and unique plots. I find reading the newspaper for small blips gives me more material than I could ever use.

A girl gets stung by a jelly fish in Australia. Everyone pees on her to save her. Yup, it works. Something about ammonia in urine that helps dilute the poison from jelly fish stings. I don't know if I will ever be able to use this tidbit, but it is in my brain now. Who could make up that stuff?

Another gem from the news paper appeared in the obits - The showing was from 6-9 PM at the Casket Store. I wonder if they have coupons like other stores? Do they have blue light specials? Can you really go see the caskets on display? I guess you can in central Florida. I half expect Grandma Maser to show up but I know she lives in New Jersey in Janet Evanavich novels.

Crime is increasing. Over the weekend, two young girls set up a lemonade stand to raise money for a young cancer victim. They had $150 in the till when the robber approached. Yup, he robbed them of their donations! So the truth is often stranger than fiction! Life is too.

Right now, I am developing a character based on a composite of real people. I have to do it this way so I can put that disclaimer in the front of the book that states "Characters are fictional. Any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, is merely coincidental."

All writers need to start someplace with character and plot and we all start from what we know or from what we can imagine and create.

I am in my jammies at my laptop having breakfast - coconut joy ice cream in a waffle cone. Here is my reasoning. Hubby is gone for a few days, so he can't comment. The cone is like corn flakes and the ice cream is a milk product, coconut is a fruit, and almonds are nuts so they must be good for you. I am actually eating healthy. Plus, I already took my cholesterol meds.

Nudge, nudge. " Okay. I'll let you outside - again."

It's a rainy day, but labs think of rainy days as a special treat! Now Dog can chase the rabbits and squirrels in wistful glee and return with a dog smile on his face. Dog also loves the rubdowns following a good romp in the rain. I know that if it starts thundering again, Dog will be back sooner because he hates loud noises, except for the ones he creates when barking.

I've put the cone down several times so I can continue writing on my laptop. I am pretty sure that melting ice cream is not good for laptops and I surely don't want to incur the wrath of the service Tec again when I have to bring the computer in for repairs. I avoid making unnecessary trips ....

Bark Bark. Time to let Dog in from the squirrel chasing. I know there is a nest of rabbits under the largest evergreen in the yard. This is usually Dog's favorite haunt, but he is staying away for now. He seems to respect motherhood.

Now I have a semi- wet and tired dog on the couch with me, drooling on me as I place my cone on a napkin and begin to write again. He won't take the cone unless I tell him too. He's been trained well.

Skype is signaling a call. Have to take this one!

I spend an hour talking to friends in Florida who are neighbors Up North - meaning "where the snow birds go when it gets too hot" in Florida. Her life is sometimes better than a soap opera. More on that later ....

Our builder has already called twice now so I better respond. We are building a new place at the lake. This means that we are busy with the logistics of moving a home, and rebuilding on our lot. More on that later too.

Since I have writer's block, I decide that I am going to complete some projects that have been sitting on the shelf waiting for my attention for way too long. I am making a headboard for our master bedroom. Sew Simple.. My Hubby sometimes says he is going to ban me from watching HGTV. I have too many half-finished projects all over the house.

And then the phone rings again ....

It's Mom. She just opened and read the letter from her Medicare supplement insurance provider. Seems like they still don't have the automatic withdrawal situation straightened out. I was told it was going to be so simple. I sent in the required paperwork. I gave them the bank numbers. I electronically made the first payment. BUT that wasn't quite right. I signed as POA (power-of-attorney). I therefore needed to provide the POA papers and the Attorney of Fact paperwork. Oh good grief! This is the same company that needed proof that my Dad passed away when I called and cancelled his policy. I sent a death certificate. What else should I have sent? The Obituary? A photo? Tears? Heartaches?

I agreed with the company rep. Sometimes people call in and cancel policies and take advantage of the elderly. I understand that our elderly need protection. But my Dad could not sign the formal paperwork(as she suggested) to cancel his policy because he died. See the irony here? I do now, but at the time this was a bit disconcerting. I will have to remember to have Mom sign the cancellation of her policy while she is still alive. Then I can just post date it after she is gone.

I calm Mom down. This is a wretched time for her too. Yes, I will take care of it. Don't worry. You still have insurance. Yes, I am sure. I talked to the agent just yesterday.

Bark. Bark.

"Mom, I have to go. Dog is barking. I'll call you right back."

Quickly I return to the patio door. The baby rabbits are all here! Mama is no where to be seen.

And it's only 10:30 am.

So what to do now? Look for the Mom? Hope she returns? Hope the Dad shows up in her place? Call a bunny sitter?

Baby rabbits cry in a disarming, eerie, and disturbing way. They don't stop. They just keep crying and crying at a high pitched decibel.

I head to the office. I can tell that no writing will be produced this morning. I typed into a search engine "care of baby rabbits". Up pops several recipes for rabbit stew, patterns for rabbit hats, how to poison rabbits - no help here!

Waiting proves futile. No Mama is coming for the clan. Dog now lays on the opposite side of the patio door watching the clan and looking sadly at me, waiting for me - The Human - to resolve the situation.

The animal shelter doesn't want rabbits unless they are weaned. Did I know if the rabbits were weaned? Nope. But I promise to ask their Mother if she shows up. (Some people just don't get my sarcasm.)

Can baby rabbits drink milk out of a saucer like a kitten can? Do they make baby bunny bottles and bunny formula like they do for motherless puppies?

A call to the local pet store, followed by a call to my vet's office all produced the same information. If mama doesn't come back soon, the babies will die. And they did in 24 hours.

Dog stood guard and kept other creatures away from the dead offspring until we could dig a small grave in the garden. It almost looked like Dog had tears in his eyes during the impromptu service.

I saw Mama later that day when I went to the mailbox - she was as flat as an 8 by 11 sheet of paper. There would be no saving her. The crows were already feasting on the carcass.

I'm back in my office today. Once again trying to write, but I can still picture those rabbits and I can still hear their cries in my head.

Dog is lying beside me on his rug. I reach down to pet him. "It's okay Dog. We tried." Dog wags his tail. Sometimes trying is all that a Human Being can do.

Yup, life is stranger than fiction. Who is ever going to believe that Dog and I tried desperately to save the baby rabbits? We know. That's all that counts.

If I ever see a story like this one, I will file it away in the True section. I know it can happen, no matter what naysayers might comment.

And the phone is ringing... I never did call Mom back yesterday. Well, now I had some news for her.

"Hi Mom. Yes, I forgot to call you back. Wait till you hear what happened yesterday."

Assisted Living was in for a treat - a new, true story! That would give them something to talk about - believers and naysayers alike.

And did I mention that I am a writer with writer's block?

Recently I purchased a three-wheeled bike - a tricycle. It seemed like a grand idea. I was going to wait untill next year and work it into my fun budget, but I spotted it at a garage sale and I just couldn't resist the cheap price. I had to spent $80 to save $150. My exsisting fun budget could handle this great purchase. Sure Hubby had to put on the fenders

A friend fell off her bicycle and smashed her head against the curb. Bruses and cracked ribs followed. She ended up with a golf ball sized knot on her head and a black eye. Achy and sore, she hasn't been riding since. I was even more convinced that I had made the right decision.

My tricycle is a bit more stable and I do wear a helmet. I ride around our neighborhood and endure the strange looks. But I am stable, exercising, and having fun. The bike has a large rear basket condusive to biking to the farmers market for fresh veggies and fruit and I assume that as long as I don't buy 50 pounds of potato and 20 pounds of oranges, I should be okay. for the two mile round trip. Though I admit I haven't tried that yet. Soon.

My five-year-old thinks that her Grandma is way too BIG to be riding a tricycle. Her proof - SHE is too big to ride her outgrown pink tricycle. I am sending her a photo of me on my trike (wearing a helmet so I can claim the good example award). I hope she sees that it is a really BIG tricycle.

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