It really was not my fault, this time.

All I ever wanted was to be the apple of my dad's eye but no, not this time. I was anything but. In fact, until the day he died my daddy never let me forget the Bikini Top Incident, known forever as the BTI.

So, this afternoon I reflect on my teenaged years and how hard I tried to be a pillar of society. I always joined in on community functions. Being a summer camp counselor enabled me to be a role model for the neighborhood kids. Fond memories? Indeed. Yet, my mind keeps dwelling on that time in my life where humiliation took on a whole nother meaning.

I remember it as though it was yesterday.....

It was the summer of seventy five, hotter than blazes and I had turned fifteen that year. Fifteen, such a sweet age of self awareness and awakening. It was the year that my mother actually convinced my father that it was okay for me to buy my first bikini swimsuit!



After all, I worked hard in school; my grades were stellar. And, hadn't I tended to my chores, my brother's chores and most of my baby sister's? Yeah. In my opinion, I had more than earned the right to a bikini! So, it was said... so it happened.

Back in those days, my brothers bought their socks and tighty whities from Modells while my two sisters and I shopped for all of our underthings at Alexanders. Wow, now there's a blast from the past.

Good old Alexanders had every fashion for every girl, no matter what her size, shape or position in life. What Mom loved most about shopping in this particular store was that the prices were suited for hard working middle class citizens and their families. And, boy did we qualify. So, with thirty bucks in my wallet and my sisters by my side, we took the Q65 bus into Flushing to hunt for my new swimwear!

I had to find something that day.

Or else.

Or else I couldn't go to the big outing that the camp had arranged for the kids to go to the Aqua K!! Yeah, baby! Back in the seventies, going swimming in local community public pools was all the rage! First off, admission was nearly free for summer camps and it was usually great fun. The camp provided for the food and music, and the kids had the fun.

As a camp counselor, I got paid for the day of romping in the pool with the little ones and beautifying my tan in the heat of the midday sun. It sure was hot that summer and a bikini is what I just had to have. I wanted to don my new bikini and prance around in front of the life guards.

Did I mention that I was fifteen?



We entered Alexanders, taking the side door instead of the front entrance. Past experience told us that the bathing suits and accessories were located on the second floor, not far from the ladies lingerie and girdles. The escalator up was closest to the side door entrance of the store and we didn't want to waste any time getting up there.

Excited? You bet your boxers we were!

And as we stepped off from the top moving step of the escalator, my youngest sister tripped into me, both of us almost falling to the floor! The old woman behind us looked down her nose at the site of three young African American girls tripping all over themselves in her favorite store. Oh, well! My daddy always said, if we have the money to shop in any store, then our money is as good as anyone else's.

My oldest sister, twenty at the time, was responsible for making sure that I didn't buy a swimsuit that was too revealing. Huh? Um, I had to remind her that Daddy and Mom had practically ordered me to buy a bikini!

I broke it down further, emphasizing that bikini meant two pieces, stupid!!

She snarled, as older sisters so often do when they are on a mission of the bikini buying kind. In fact, she absolutely hated going shopping with her youngest siblings.

I grabbed my fourteen year old sis' hand and the two of us raced to the carousels of beautiful two piece swimwear. I touched each piece, well, the price tags anyway. Sheeesh! I wondered if my measly thirty dollars would get me that winning two piece revealing-as-much-as-big-sis-would-allow-me bikini that I longed for and just had to have.

I kept looking. And then, there it was!!

It was like destiny. As I moved in slow motion toward the hot pink leopard print scant bikini, my heart skipped beats. I was silently praying that it cost less than the funds in my purse. I grabbed the suit from the rack. I held it up to me and said, "heck yea! You and I are one!"

And the price? Just $24.99 plus tax. Yeah, baby!!

Heaven, I was in heaven. The best part is I never even tried it on.

When we arrived back home, I barely pulled my teeny weeny pink leopard spot bikini from the bag for Mom to inspect. I hustled up the stairs, two at a time, to my bedroom to put it on my still developing body. I just knew that the fit would be perfect for the upcoming camp outing.

The panty was first. It had the littlest front that I had ever seen. In fact, the back wasn't that much bigger than the front! But it fit and I looked just like a topless dancer. I tied the two little stretchy straps into bows; one on each hip bone. Not bad, at all.

When I readied myself for the more important fitting of the bikini top, I made a shocking discovery!

The bikini top was one of those barely there things that had become so popular with spring breakers and biker chicks! I gulped hard and attempted to figure out what went where and how to keep all those tie straps still while I fit my pert firm breasts into the tiny pieces of material that I assumed were the cups. This was no easy task, but I finally made sense of it all.

The day finally arrived.

I wore my 'lil bitty swim suit underneath my white Daisy duke shorts and red tee shirt. I would be responsible for the ten to twelve year olds, mostly little fresh boys. I suppose that it would be fair to say that the little boys and girls that I worked with could swim circles around me. It would be honest of me to say that, um, I didn't know how to swim!

I watched the kids swim and do belly flops into the water. I admired their sense of freedom and self confidence as that writhed their little energetic bodies through the water like minnows. This actually was fun for me as I soaked in the sun.

Suddenly, one kid pulled a little girl into the water from below! I stood up, thinking that she might be in trouble. Then she resurfaced, laughing and swimming after the boy having a great time.

Boy, was it getting hot. I needed to cool off so I slipped into the nice cool pool and stayed close to the edge.

Suddenly, as if a huge shark had grabbed my leg from below the pool's surface, I was plunged deep down into the 4 feet of water! So it was only 4 feet! But, to this non-swimmer, I thought that I would drown, never to see my friends and family again! I saw my short life flash before my eyes. I could see through the water, the blurry images of the other children still frolicking about in the water, totally oblivious to my struggle. The water entered my nose, my mouth.

Help!

As I look back on this day from hell, I now believe that the cute dark tanned life guard must have thought that I was having a grand old time! I wish I could find him today! I would surely turn Lorena Bobbitt on his behind!

As I continued to fight for my life, flailing my arms and attempting to dog paddle, a brave young woman pulled me from death's watery grip, back to the surface. This big Spanish woman held me from behind and helped me to the edge of the pool. And then it happened! The humiliation.. the incessant laughter.. the fingers pointing in my direction.

The BTI!

I was still composing myself, coughing from the water that almost drowned me. Suddenly I had become a spectator event!

Oh, my Lord, where was my bikini top?



From the waist up, I was as naked as the day I was born, just not as flat! I saw this big pot bellied man with more hair on his tummy and breasts than on his head laughing so hard that he nearly fell off of his beach chair! I wanted to shout at him, "what's so funny? Look in a mirror lately?" But, all I could do was weep in total humiliation and emotional scarring!

I looked about for my hot pink bikini top and suddenly the smartass who had tried to murder me, came up out of the water swimming toward me. He held the sopping wet strappy bikini top in his grubby little hand!

I wanted to kick him, but I kept hearing my daddy whispering in my ear, "non-violence, non-violence! Remember your teachings, daughter!"

My mind was torn, conflicted, undecided! Do I, don't I, do I, don't I?

Finally, I just reached for my bikini bra with a shaky right hand while I tried to cover my exposed stuff with my left hand. No one tossed me a towel or even a dry wash cloth! So, with as much grace as I could muster I darted into the nearest rest room to wring out my top and to fulfill my duties as camp counselor extraordinaire.

I will always remember the Bikini Top Incident with mixed emotions. I did get lots of attention that day, didn't I! But, I was more humiliated than all of the subsequent humiliations that would be the story of my life.........

Copyright ©2004, 2008 Miriam L. Jacobs. All rights reserved.
No republication of this material, in any form or medium, is permitted without express permission of the author.

When Stephen Hillenburg created Spongebob Squarepants, I don't think that even he knew what an enormous cult following this unlikely yellow sponge hero would have.

It is simply amazing how many parents of youngsters, some older teens and many adults simply go crazy for the affable cartoon character.

Including, I admit, this reviewer, Mini-Mimi.

PLot
In, Spongebob Squarepants- The Sponge Who Could Fly, viewers are taken on a mostly hilarious trip with their favorite square, um, sponge-dude. When the narrating pirate finds one of the long lost Spongebob episodes he makes a big, big production of his finding. It is as though he had found a great wealth of treasure!

There's all sorts of silliness, shock and dismay when suddenly the reel containing the lost episode comes to an abrupt hault!

Good Lord, who stole Spongebob Squarepants and why!?



The pirate goes nuts and so did my five year old granddaughter when we first viewed Spongebob Squarepants - The Sponge Who Could Fly.

Luckily, for all of the anxiously awaiting children of all ages, we learn that the pirate is only teasing and reveals the true reel containing the special double length feature presentation starring the large toothed, ever-happy, good natured, suspender wearing Spongebob and his undersea friends.

Included in this film, which runs for about an hour and a half, are three additional shorter stories that showcase Spongebob at his best frolicking and goofing around with his buddies in Bikini Bottom, their undersea world. Featured are his best pal, Patrick, the not-too-smart pink starfish, Mr. Krabs, Sponge's boss, his female friend, the helmet wearing squirrel, Sandy and of course Squidward, Spongebob's envious co-worker.



Part One.. The Sponge Who Could Fly
Man has always longed to fly like the birds so why shouldn't cute little Spongebob have a similar experience, flying with the jelly fish? In this extra long feature presentation, the Sponge tries many very clever ways to get himself to fly, mostly failing, but having interesting fun trying. Does he finally get the opportunity to fly with the best of them?

Part Two.. Plankton
Good old boy, Squidward, has been dying to learn the secret of Mr. Krab's Krabby Patties and he thinks that he has finally gotten it all figured out. But, there is an interesting little plot twist in the end.



Part Three.. Boating School
Poor Spongebob. Will he ever pass his driving test to earn his boating license? His frustrated driving instructor is willing to do practically anything to pass her least favorite, most annoying student. The antics are simply amazing and the children's laughter will definitely reach a feverish pitch.

Part Four.. Suds
Now, I cannot tell you everything! You just might have to buy the VHS or DVD to see the final story from the lost episode!

Mini-Mimi's Recommendations
After viewing Spongebob Squarepants - The Sponge Who Could Fly for nearly six dozen times with my grands, I must admit that I can see why Spongebob's lost episode was such an amazing find on the part of the pirate. It is truly magical, keeping the full attention of children for the entire length of the film.

You will find silly songs that are easily learned by children. There are also some high energy fancy dance steps that can be danced along with Spongebob. My granddaughters and two year old grand-niece just cannot sit still whenever they are watching this entertainment.

It is impossible to keep them cool, calm and collected so I don't even try anymore.

Parents must be aware that although Spongebob Squarepants is a kind and gentle Sponge-boy, he and his crew sometimes use made-up words that young impressionable minds easily absorb. When my two year old grand-niece started calling everyone in the family, "bubble-butt", it was Spongebob who taught her the words.

A-ha!

Overall, I highly recommend this raucous piece of animation for its stunning visuals, the laugh a minute script and the high energy songs and dance numbers. It is light-hearted fun, but it actually does teach some serious life's lessons on how to relate with others, on cheating and learning to be persevering in order to reach one's goals.

And, the best reason is that this animated film will keep little ones contained for the duration of the movie.

Now, really, what could be better than all that?