Quiet Times For Busy Moms

Just one rule. That's it. God gave Adam just one little bit of responsibility, then He gave the man a wife to help him with it. And together they blew it, forcing all humans for the rest of time to deal with the curse of original sin.

I've been asked on more than one occasion why God put the tree there in the first place. After all, if there were no "Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil," there'd have been no opportunity to ruin the perfect world God had created. But giving Adam and Even no opportunity to disobey, also meant giving them no chance to follow their Creator's will. It's much like us with our own children. Sometimes we'd like to be able to keep them in a totally sterile environment with nothing around to hurt them, nothing for them to break, no way for them to ever learn the "Knowledge of Evil." The problem with this utopia is that it also creates an environment that stunts growth. Without a few germs to build up their immune system and a temptation or two on the coffee table to help them learn boundaries, our children can never mature or learn to make wise decisions.
When God created man and woman, He wanted more than dolls or toys or even infants. God wanted friendship with the only thing on the earth with the potential to be like Him, the one thing He had created in His image, humans.

My children are all adults now with families of their own, and one thing I praise God for everyday is their friendship. I'm obviously still their mother, they ask my advice and I help them out from time to time, but most of the time I am their friend, someone they spend time with, laugh with, confide in and rely on. Although as they grew we always gave them opportunities to learn, either from their obedience or their mistakes, my girls learned their lessons well and don't need my boundaries anymore. And even though they received from me the consequences of their actions when they were young, and those consequences have brought them to a place of maturity and integrity, they aren't in need of my discipline anymore.

I think that when God put that tree in the garden, He knew that children who have no boundaries and face no consequences never really grow up. They never mature, in fact, they often become greedy and reckless, the kind of adult it's difficult to be friends with.
God desired, and still desires, friendship with us, His ultimate creation. He knew that a true, deep relationship would require a mature humankind, the kind of maturity that comes through temptation and testing. It may have been a more attractive option to shield us from the "Knowledge of Evil," after all, that's what we try to do for our own children. But that alternative doesn't make room for maturity, integrity and most of all . . . friendship!

Added April 5, 2012

Today as I was scrubbing my bathroom, I thought about my life. I'm a mom and a grandma, a wife and a pastor's wife (bet you thought they were the same thing), a daughter, a daughter-in-law and a friend to many, and that list doesn't encompass any of the titles that have some sort of income attached. As you know, with each title comes responsibility. Someone is counting on me for something, and I don't want to let anyone down. I often feel like I have to be everything to everyone.

But today my cleaning cupboard gave me some insight into my life. I have several different cleaners under my bathroom sink. I have the toilet bowl cleaner, the soap scum remover, the dirt and grime cutter, the mold and mildew remover and the stuff that makes everything shine. One at a time I brought out each cleaner and allowed it to do its job. By the time I got around to cleaning the mirrors and chrome, I realized those bottles are each like you and I.

Each of us has a job that we were created to do. Every one of us was uniquely made with a mixture of ingredients put together specifically by our Father in heaven in to accomplish His purpose here on earth.

Let's face it, we've all tried to use the dirt and grime cleaner to get rid of the mildew. And while with some extra elbow grease, the mold will fade, we still buy the mildew remover the next time so we can wipe it out completely and easily.

You and I are like that dirt and grime cleaner. We can accomplish almost anything we set our minds to. We can be everything for everyone. We are women, and we can do it all. We can balance the checkbook in one moment and mow the grass in the next. We can keep our house spotless, go out in the yard and catch a ball for fifteen minutes and still make it in time to serve the poor at the shelter. We can, and some of you do, and those who don't spend a good bit of time beating themselves up over it.

Let me be perfectly honest with you. I fall in the "those who don't" category. I'm not a good housekeeper. I tell the girls at my church my goal is to make sure my house doesn't smell. If I've accomplished that, the clutter and dishes in the sink will get taken care of when I get time. But there are those days I beat myself up because I didn't get stuff done. I don't spend as much time with my grandkids as I like, and I haven't been to sit and visit at my mom's house in quite some time. I am not a super woman. I'm not even a multi-purpose cleaner.
I am, however, exactly what Christ created me to be. I refuse to let my humanness be an excuse for not reaching the potential His placed within me, but I also need to keep in mind that He did not create me to do everything.

Some of you may have been created to have the perfect home. You are well organized and can come in and make sense out of chaos quicker than anyone I know. But those who have the perfectly organized home might not have been created to earn six figures (or even five). Some of us have been created to create. With words, music, pencils, paint or clay, we've been fashioned to make beauty out of the ordinary. Others among us have gifts that bring healing or comfort. Perhaps you are tremendous with children, animals or the elderly, or perhaps you are among the ones who've been created to rake in the profits.

Our world often requires that we be pushed beyond what we've been designed to do. Single moms and those hit by the economy may be working a job that's not part of the master plan. Sometimes we've learned to live beyond our means before we learned that Christ is all we need, and we spend years working to pay for our bad judgment.

A terrible culprit in the war to make us feel like we just can't keep up is the amount of guilt we feel when we have to tell someone no. It doesn't matter if is the kids, a teacher, our parents, the pastor or the old lady next door. Too many times we volunteer for "service" outside of our gifts and graces because we can't say no.

Whether you're kept from fulfilling your purpose because of finances or your need to please, if you're feeling like a multi-purpose cleaner that can't live up to the advertisements, I want to give you permission to use that little two letter word. If you feel like a rubber band about to break because you're holding together a bundle bigger than your specifications call for, re-evaluate all that you do and limit yourself to those things that you do best and make you feel as though you are truly pleasing God.

On the other hand, you may be the person that doesn't get asked to do much. Perhaps you're kind of quiet, and like the cleaner in the back of the cupboard, you feel like people don't even know you're there. You, too, have a purpose, and without you, the job won't get done. OK, it might get done, but it won't be the same without you. Don't wait any longer to be asked, get out there and show your stuff! Because you aren't being used to your full potential someone else is getting that rubber band feeling right now. And regardless of the emphasis that the world puts on a paycheck, it's OK to give away the gifts that you've been given. Remember, they are from God, there's more where those came from!

When each of us do what we've been fashioned to do, the church becomes a beautiful place physically and spiritually. More than once the Bible tells us that when we work within God's guidelines "he who had much did not have too much and who had little did not have too little."

Don't be too hard on yourself when you can't be everything for everyone. That's not what you were created to be. He who "created your inmost being" and "knit you together," the One who "knows your thoughts" and "holds you fast", the master designer himself, made you and loves you. His "thoughts about you are amazing" and He has a perfect plan for your life, and when you follow it you will be truly blessed.

"Lord, I am always with You, You hold me by my right hand" - Psalm 73:23

Our middle daughter is now more than 25, but when she was about 4, our family with my brother and mother took a trip to the Columbus zoo. It was a long and fun day. Our ten year old was big enough to walk along beside us most of the day, while the youngest rode in our Red Radio Flyer wagon, and Sylvia, the middle one held her daddy's hand.

When the day of fun was nearly over, Steve stopped and got a panicked look on his face. "Where is Sylvia?" were the first words out of his mouth. We all just kind of stared at him like he'd grown an extra head. Again he asked the question in an even more frantic tone, yet still we all just stood there perplexed at his question. With Sylvia lost, you can understand his anger at our expression, and as the seconds passed by it only grew worse. However, his tone changed, when a four year old tugged on him, and said, "Here I am, Daddy, I'm holding your hand."

More than 20 years later, we have a good laugh at Steve's expense every time we look through the pictures or reminisce about the day. Today however, the story caused me to consider the plight of the priest who wrote Psalm 73. I encourage you to read this entire Psalm when you have a moment.

So often, like the Psalmist and Steve, we begin to focus on the things around us and forget who is holding our hand. When we see evil prosper and cheaters win, we wonder where God has gone. Our promotion is given to someone else, and life deals trouble to those who don't deserve it. It's easy to wonder, "Why isn't our Father in Heaven paying attention to all the things we see here on earth?"
Steve was tired from walking all day. He'd carried that four year old a good bit, and the crowds made it easy to lose track of one another. In much the same way, we tire from our day to day routine. Life gets hard, and we lose sight of the One who is holding our hand. Like the Psalmist, we need to often enter the "Sanctuary" of our Heavenly Father. Whether it's a physical building or a time we set aside to be refreshed by His Spirit, we need sanctuary, a place of rest and freedom. It's in the sanctuary that the Psalmist remembered God was holding his hand. It's there in that quiet moment where we can feel the tug of a Sovereign Lord as He draws us back into the truth, not everything we can see, but the reality of what we cannot always see. God is our strength. Earth has nothing we desire besides the Almighty. Our Savior will always be near us, and whether you remember or not, He is always holding your hand.

This morning I slept in. I was late getting to the office. Only about 5 minutes late, but I was beating myself up because I constantly stay up later than I should. There's always one more thing to do, one more e-mail to open. I never get to bed with everything on my "to-do" list crossed off.

So, I'm up way too late, and then I'm tired the next day. I beat myself up because not going to bed at a decent hours says to me that I'm addicted to my computer or "the work," and I'm not truly trusting God with my time.

Today I'm running so late that I brought my blow dryer and make-up with me. It's not a big deal. I'm the only one in the office, and we have very little foot traffic. In fact, I create my own hours. I'm only here to answer the phone, other than that, I'm free to do my own thing. I always do my devotions when I get here, but with everything I brought with me to do, and the fact I'm a bit late, my first thought is, "What should I do first?" I contemplated for a moment . . . hair and make-up . . . check the messages on the phone . . . but it didn't take long for me to decide to sit down and do my devotions.

I've been journaling through Romans, so I opened my Bible, and the first words I read were Romans 8:1 . . . "There is, therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Woo Hoo!!! I am in Christ! There is no condemnation for me! I know I should go to be earlier, and I'll continue to try my best to adjust my bedtime. I'm sure I'll go to bed with my "to-do" list incomplete most nights, but there's no need to beat myself up over that. There is no condemnation for me because I am in Christ Jesus!

Romans 8 reminds me that the law cannot set me free from death. Being good, following the rules, going to be early, none of these will give me a spot in heaven. My own goodness, strivings and energy will not give me peace here on earth.

However, Jesus can! Jesus condemned the sin in me. All I am required to do is live by the Spirit. Whenever I am overwhelmed or beating myself up, I'm living in the world, not in the Spirit. There is no peace in the world, no joy, no laughter, no love. The world, the sinful nature, only knows pain and sorrow, tiredness and the feeling of being overwhelmed.

If Christ lives in me, then the Spirit that brought Him back to life will give me life! There is so much promise in the Spirit, so much life in Christ, but we let it pass us by because of all the things we "have to" do. Some if it is self-imposed, some imposed on us by others, but if we look, we'll discover, very little is imposed on us by Jesus Christ.

As a mom during Christmas week, I'm betting there's a good chance you are feeling a bit overwhelmed. There's always one more gift to buy, one more pie to bake and one more party to attend, and when we get behind on our "to-do" list, we will be tempted to feel guilty and listen to the voices in the world condemning us.

It's probably a good week to hang Romans 8:1 on your refrigerator. Remind yourself that the One whose birth you celebrate did not come to condemn you. He came to love you, redeem you, give you freedom, peace and joy. He came to bring all the promise of all the peace that is Christmas.

Jacob is one of the most famous characters in Scripture. The entire of nation of Israel, even today, calls him "Father." The younger twin of Isaac and Rebekah and one of Abraham's many grandsons, if you count Ishmael and the sons of his second wife, Jacob was best known as "the deceiver" in his younger days. In fact, his name in Hebrew means "pulled my leg." As he headed out for Aram to escape his brother's wrath and find a wife that his mother would approve of, no one would have guessed this upstart would ever be a leader, nonetheless a man with a nation still called by his name more than 4000 years later.

One of the things I learn most from Jacob is my need to have a personal relationship with my Creator. When Jacob left for Aram, he stopped to sleep, and sometime in the middle of the night he had the famous dream of a ladder or a stairway reaching all the way to heaven. Most folks know about Jacob's ladder, fewer realize that the dream held a promise. It was on this night that God passed the promise He'd given to Abraham and Isaac on to Jacob, and it's Jacob's vow the morning after that reveals the heart of this great man's faith.

Jacob wasn't the first to use the "If God does this . . ." prayer, but he is one of the more well-known. If God answered his prayer, THEN the Lord would be his God. More than once in his young life we see this father of God's chosen people refer to God as "your God" or "the God of my father." It would appear that even more than 20 years in a foreign country working to earn his wives and countless blessings from God still didn't convince the man that the Lord was HIS God. Only after a night of face to face wrestling do we see that Jacob may finally understand the need for a personal relationship with the Almighty.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to help them see the need to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ early in their life. As parents it's important to remember that sometimes that will mean they have to "wrestle" a bit with their Heavenly Father; we don't need to rescue them every time it looks like they are struggling in their faith.

Of course, even more important is the fact that our children will have a hard time understanding a personal relationship with God if they don't see that kind of relationship in us, their parents or ministry leaders. Do you call God, "my Savior and my Lord," or is He "the God of your fathers"? Is Jesus your friend or someone you read about in the Bible?

It's vital that we take time every day to develop our relationship with Christ, even if that means "wrestling" Him from time to time. God knows that we are a lot like Jacob. He understands that we struggle in life and don't always understand everything He does. Our Heavenly Father gets it that on occasion we may even be mad at Him, and in those times, He encourages us to "wrestle." It's in the wrestling that we will often see Him face to face. It's in the struggles we will learn to call Him "friend."

I hope to have another little something for you by April 30, 2012.
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