The New Workforce

Selecting the right monkey for the job can lead to a lot of headaches. Use the guide below to choose the monkey best suited for your job. Saving time and frustration.

The Chimpanzee (ape family): This list includes the Chimpanzee since they are very intelligent animals that have mastered the art of sign language; teaching, traffic cop, football coach, are a few of the areas where these animals would excel in the labor market.

The Baboon Monkey: These monkeys work best in large groups. Excellent for a call center environment. In some cultures this is a sacred animal; a vocation in a religious order would be suitable.

The Spider Monkey: Super agile in the air. These monkeys would be suited for work as telephone line-monkeys, bridge builders and commercial window washers.

The Proboscis Monkey of Borneo: An unusual monkey adept at swimming and diving. Pool lifeguard, lobster boat fishing, coral reef tour guide are jobs where this monkey would do exceedingly well.

The Woolly Monkey: Native of South America. These are very social monkeys and should provide suitable employment in the food and catering industry.

On payday, giving a check or cash is not recommended, since your monkey laborer would probably eat their pay. So we recommend giving your monkey daily bananas (with one exception below). Bananas are cheap and keep your monkey laborer energetic and ready for the next job to be done. Note: Be sure that your monkey laborer knows where to dispose of the banana skins, as these could be hazardous to unsuspecting visitors and guests. Always know where your monkey has thrown the skin.

Banana eaters would include: Chimpanzee (ape), Baboon, Spider and the Woolly Monkey.

The Proboscis Monkey is mainly a seed and unripe fruit eater. So it is best to place payment in a brown paper bag and escort this monkey to a feeding area.