Monty Python and the Holy Grail Toys

Black Knight Slippers!

No untidy arms or legs to trip over as you walk around.

King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: *Look*!
Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.

Monty Python Black Knight Plush Slippers

Amazon Price: $34.99 (as of 06/02/2012)
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Our favorite black knight is back and this time ready to defend your feet to the bloody end. One thing must be said, though ignorant of pain and the tide of battle, the Black Knight would not surrender his post at any cost and, with a bit more intellect, may have made an excellent addition to the Knights of the Round.

There's also a matching backpack!

The Terrible Rabbit of Caerbannog

Come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth

Do not, repeat not purchase any copies of this item, as it is a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Despite the repeated warnings (with gestures) from Tim the Enchanter, the Knights press on and step bravely forth to die at the fangs of the Rabbit of Caerbannog. Only when the Holy Grenade of Antioch is brought forth, is the terrible beast defeated...

Toy Vault Rabbit Plush with Big Pointy Teeth

Amazon Price: $15.51 (as of 06/02/2012)
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The Rabbit With Big Pointy Teeth measures 9â? long, and might appear harmless at a glance, but of course the terrible Rabbit of Caerbannog features articulated razor-toothed jaws. The Rabbitâ?TMs horrible maw opens to nearly half the Rabbitâ?TMs full length. With the mouth opened, the red lupine tongue and the massive curved teeth exposed, an awful dread may well creep into your blood, chilling you to the core of your soul. Look past the convenient camouflage of the cute bubblegum-pink nose and downy-textured snow-white fur. The teeth. The baleful red eyes. You have only mere moments left to live. The Knights of The Round Table are led by ominous Tim the Enchanter to the Cave of Caerbannog, where they must face the caveâ?TMs monster guardian. When the monster appears just outside the cave, a terrible Rabbit with Big Pointy Teeth, poised among smoky bone and skull detritus, the knights scoff disgustingly at Timâ?TMs strident warnings. The Rabbit promptly beheads one knight before careening from one victim to the next, opening jugulars in a blood-sprayed one-bunny reign of stark terror.

The Black Beast Of Aaaarrrrgggghh!

Monty Python Toy Vault 16 Inch Plush

Re-enact the terrifying attack of this dread beast from the caves. Make your friends foght past the pet rabbit, only to leap out at them , causing them to cry out in recognition - Aaaarrrrgggghh!

Monty Python Toy Vault 16 Inch Plush Black Beast Of Aaaarrrrgggghh!

Amazon Price: $20.00 (as of 06/02/2012)
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The horrifying Black Beast Of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh Plush stands 18%uFFFD? tall, complete with sound effect and dangling tongue-tab victim. Few sights can be more terrifying and hellish than the visage of the Black Beast Of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh with its gigantic head, great curling horns and multitude of eyes. The Black Beast rampant, prowling the darkness, cavernous mouth agape, teeth dangling with tatters of knightly flesh. Proceed with care---or else be eaten like any other unwary knight errant. A grim twist of irony. The Knights of the Round Table manage to slip past the terrible Rabbit of Caerbannog, finally discovering the sacred carvings of Joseph of Arimathea to learn that the fabled Holy Grail can be found within Castle%uFFFD?%uFFFD Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh. This last bit causes some understandable confusion. The knights are left to ponder the ambiguity only to be suddenly attacked by the ravenous Black Beast! Arthur and his knights are as good as dead, the casual prey of the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh ---until the animator unexpectedly succumbs to a heart attack and takes the animated Beast with him.

Monty Python Cow Catapult Deluxe Set

Monty Python Cow Catapult Includes: 2 Cows 3 Chickens 2 Sheep Cow Catapult BONUS Trojan Rabbit

An effective toy that tends to sell out - and will launch your livestock several feet, gicing you lots of time to work on your sound effects and sure to scale the walls of any toy fort.

Monty Python Cow Catapult Deluxe Set

Amazon Price: $79.00 (as of 06/02/2012)
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Every home and castle should have one. Are you plagued by nuisance knights? Troubled by kooky kings? Then throw a cow at them, Keep one of these handy hurlers by your side and when taunts don't work, drive your enemies away by launching plastic ducks, sheep, and cows. If that doesn't do the trick, you've still got the 7" Trojan rabbit. From Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail, this hilarious plastic replica is ideal for bombarding friends, coworkers, and so-called "Arthur Kings".

Holy Grail Plush Toy (so this is what all the fuss was about)

Complete the quest - from the safety of home with online ordering!

Holy Grail Plush from Monty Python and the Holy Grail - This is the Holy Grail. Your Quest is to seek and purchase this grail. That is your purpose; your sacred task is to buy this Holy Grail. Beware all rabbits who might hop in your way.

Toy Vault Holy Grail Plush Toy

Amazon Price: $10.96 (as of 06/02/2012)
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The Holy Grail Plush stands 10â? tall, the plush golden surfaced of the blessed chalice studded modestly with red jewels. The Holy Grail marks the soul of King Arthurâ?TMs quest, as the latter marches endlessly, recruiting a spare few worthy knights such as Galahad and Lancelot and all the while circumventing obstacles or facing horrifying adversaries. On the path to enlightenment, Arthur is pressed by the grim swordsmanship of the Black Knight, taunted unmercifully by the Frenchmen, and terrified nearly to the point of insanity by the Knights Who Say Ni. The holy quest is led astray by a false Grail, ravaged perniciously by the likes of the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog and the Black Beast Of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh, and oppressed by the Bridge of Death. So anyway, hereâ?TMs your chance to contribute to the cause and give Arthur some badly needed assistance.

The Trojan Rabbit

A Sir Bedevere Invention For Sneaking Into French Castles. Well... Up To.

Monty Python Toy Vault Trojan Rabbit

Amazon Price: $30.00 (as of 06/02/2012)
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Python's wooden trojan rabbit is a must have.. You can defeat all of your enemies with this wooden treasure.. Just follow the below directions for the most enjoyment: "Directions For Use: 1. Place wooden rabbit near enemy fortress. 2. Hide somewhere nearby where you can watch. 3. Wait for enemies to drag wooden rabbit into fortress. 4. Jump out of rabbit and defeat your enemies! (please remember to actually get inside the rabbit for proper functioning) Guaranteed to work every time. Well most every time. Perhaps sometime. Actually, if it truly ever works, please send us a letter.

Monty Python Horse Action Figure

(2 Coconut Halves) Clip-Clop, Clip-Clop. Carried here by the finest pure-bred swallows.

Guard: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: We found them.
Guard: Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Guard: Well, Mercia's a temperate zone!
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.
Guard: ... Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

Monty Python Horse Action Figure

Amazon Price: $12.99 (as of 06/02/2012)

Includes the Guide to the care and feeding of your new horse.

1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Who goes there?
King Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Pull the other one!
King Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? Ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You're using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
King Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Where'd you get the coconuts?
King Arthur: We found them.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
King Arthur: What do you mean?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Well, this is a temperate zone
King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
King Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
King Arthur: Please!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right?

Tim the Enchanter

There are some who call me... Tim.

Tim the Enchanter (John Cleese) from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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Who are you who can summon fire without flint or tinder?

Tim The Enchanter Talking Chibi Plush

Monty Python: Tim the Enchanter Plush

Amazon Price: $9.99 (as of 06/02/2012)
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The Tim The Enchanter Talking Chibi Plush stands 10â? tall, and his phrases include â??Some call meâ?¦Tim,â? â??Well, thatâ?TMs no ordinary rabbit,â? and â??Thatâ?TMs the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set your eyes on.â? The caricature Tim the Enchanter is adorned by his ram horn-mounted skullcap and is equipped with his arcane staff. Timâ?TMs abilities as an enchanter evidently include some mastery over fire. When questioned on the subject of the Holy Grail, Tim initially leads Arthur and the other Knights to the Cave of Caerbannog. There, Tim cryptically warns Arthur and the others of the Killer Rabbit, but his warnings are greeted with general contempt, the contempt redoubled once they see the Rabbit in person. Consequently, the knights are mauled horrifically by the death bunny as it leaps from the bone-strewn ground to spike the nearest jugular vein.

Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

* And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number to be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

Toy Vault Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch - Mini Plush

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In Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the Holy Hand Grenade was the only weapon that could defeat the Rabbit with Big Pointy Teeth. This is a reproduction of that famous weapon of bunny destruction. Sized to be easily thrown with only one hand at amost 5" in diameter, this silent version, without whoopee cushion, will never be heard by that bad bunny. First time ever released in this size!

Throw these over your rear view mirror, to protect yourself against heathens and assorted other adversaries.

Monty Python Holy Hand Grenade Danglers

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Even the most uncivilized pagan would recognize the ponderous theological significance and cataclysmic capability of the fabled Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. The hand grenade is renowned for its ability to hold sway over one particularly nightmarish monsterâ?¦ An accurate count of â??ONE, TWO, FIVE!â? must be performed once the cross-shaped pin is pulled, at which point the grenade is hurled at a given target. The Holy Hand Grenade holds a special significance in that it was the weapon used to neutralize the terrifying power of the Killer Rabbit at the threshold of the Cave of Caerbannog---thus allowing the Knights of the Round table entrance and access to the next fateful clue in their unerring quest to acquire the fabulous Holy Grail.

Monty Python Fluxx Looney

A confusing and hilarious game

Looney Labs Fluxx Monty Python Fluxx Looney

Amazon Price: $11.99 (as of 06/02/2012)
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If Fluxx wasn't confusing and strange enough, now the Pythons have gotten involved with the proceedings and made it even more hysterical. Monty Python Fluxx now includes singing, fake accents, reciting Python dialog for extra cards, and pretty much everything else, short of farting in your general direction. (It is, after all, a game for the whole family.) Loosely based on concepts from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, there are guest appearances from King Arthur and all of his Knights, coconuts, a shrubbery, an unladen swallow, a trojan rabbit, a catapult, an airborne cow, the Holy Hand Grenade, and the Finger of God, as well as such Python classics as the giant foot, the nude organist, a resting parrot, and the Spanish Inquisition - which, of course everyone was expecting.