How Granny Gets Her Groove Back

The Free Dictionary defines a groove as:

1. A long narrow furrow or channel.
2. The spiral track cut into a phonograph record for the stylus to follow.
3. Slang A settled routine: got into the groove of a nine-to-five job.
4. Slang A situation or an activity that one enjoys or to which one is especially well suited: found his groove playing bass in a trio.
5. Slang A very pleasurable experience.

When I was young, we called things we liked "groovy." That term has gone out of fashion, but now we have "get your groove back." An example is the movie, "How Stella Got Her Groove Back." Stella is very successful, but has lost the zest in her life, until she makes a trip to Jamaica and re-discovers romance.

Still, that kind of "groove" is not what I am talking about here. I think of it like the track cut into the 78 rpm records we used to play. If you played it a lot, or weren't careful how you handled it, the record would get scratched. Then when you played the record, it would either get stuck on one note and play it over and over, or go sliding across the record, playing nothing at all.

The "Groove" I am talking about is #4 in the list above - doing something especially well. So getting one's groove back could mean returning to what one does well. Or, as in the image of the phonograph record, getting past the scratches and bumps of life so that the music will play again.

It seems the Universe, Spirit, God/Goddess, whatever you perceive it be, often makes you walk your talk. Shortly after I finished writing about "It is What It Is," I found myself with lots of opportunities to practice what I wrote.

It started with an abnormal mammogram, which required me to take further tests. As I have a history of breast cancer, this was not pleasant to think about. But I tried to stay positive and am happy to report that all has turned out well.

I also have had some family issues that were challenging me to walk my talk in this area. My job was becoming increasingly boring and was taking time away from my first love, writing. In addition, my Squidoo lenses started to fall in lensrank.

All of which led me into what I can only describe as a funk. It just didn't seem to matter anymore. Why spend time on my lenses when they don't seem to get noticed? Life was becoming just something to be endured, rather than something to be enjoyed. And yes, if case you are wondering, I was taking my antidepressant, for I have a diagnoses of depression as well.

Then some of the great people here started encouraging me to go for Giant status. I looked at my output so far, and realized that even though I think they have quality, I was nowhere near the goal of 50 you need to become a Giant Squid. I began to become critical of how long it takes me to write a lens and again wondered, "is it all worth it?"

I realized that I needed a huge boost in motivation and decided to write about how I achieved this. As I said in the introduction, this is more for my benefit than anyone else, but I would enjoy it if you would come along the journey with me. I found that during my waiting for the medical test results, I went back to my own "It is What it Is" lens and re-read it several times. I will probably do that with this one as well, to keep me in the groove.

"When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts-thoughts that negate your highest idea about a thing-think again! I want you to do this, literally. If you think you are in a doldrum, in a pickle, and no good can come of this, think again. If you think the world is a bad place, filled with negative events, think again. If you think your life is falling apart, and it looks as if you'll never get it back together again, think again."

Neale Donald Walsh, Conversations With God

I was surfing Squidoo the other day when I came across some lenses about Squidoo's founder, Seth Godin. I have to admit, I didn't know much about the man. I knew he wrote marketing books, but hadn't really been into reading that type of topic since we gave up our home based businesses (we've had several).

The more I read, the more I wanted to know. Seth talks about things that I think about. I particularly like his thoughts about mediocrity, because one of my greatest fears is to become "average," "normal," or "mediocre."

"On the road to mediocrity

Along the way, we settle.
We settle for something not quite right, or an outfit that isn't our best look, or a job that doesn't quite maximize our talents. We settle for relationships that don't give us joy, or a website that's, "good enough."
The only way to get mediocre is one step at a time.
You don't have to settle. It's a choice you get to make every day."
From Seth's Blog


My husband caught me reading Seth's book, "Purple Cow" while we were hanging out in IHOP one day.

"Remarkable marketing is the art of building things worth noticing, right into your product or service. Not slapping on marketing as a last-minute add-on, but understanding that if your offering itself isn't remarkable, it's invisible. (Seth Godin in Purple Cow)

Photo of Seth Godin used with permission, credited to Bodoni Design

"Moderation? It's mediocrity, fear, and confusion in disguise. It's the devil's dilemma. It's neither doing nor not doing. It's the wobbling compromise that makes no one happy. Moderation is for the bland, the apologetic, for the fence-sitters of the world afraid to take a stand. It's for those afraid to laugh or cry, for those afraid to live or die. Moderation...is lukewarm tea, the devil's own brew."

Dan Millman, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior

Photo from Art.com
Having reinforced my concept that just being average is not the way I want to live, I realized that even though I am a slow lensmaker compared to many others, what lenses I have created are unique. I consider building a lens to be more like sculpting than merely writing. Just as a great sculptor waits for what is inside the clay or stone to reveal itself, that is also the way I approach lens-building.

I usually have a title in mind before I figure out what it is about. For instance, I used to talk about my cat Wiley, and joke around with my husband, "White Cats Can't Jump." We were referring to the fact that he was a special needs cat who was frightened of everything, even jumping over the fence.

The phrase took over and demanded to become a lens. And so "White Cats Can't Jump," one of my most successful lenses, was born. On the other hand, when I first decided to devote my time to Squidoo instead of my other projects, I wanted to fill up my list of lenses fast.

I had something else I had written and I decided just to tweak it a little and turn it into a lens. I wasn't particularly proud of it, but it was "okay" and would build up my numbers. That lens was called "My Husband Never Gives Me Flowers, now renamed "Romantic Gifts: Fairies, not Flowers" and it consistently sits down near the bottom of my lensranks, despite my efforts at promotion.

As Seth says in the video above "The goal is not to have the most popular blog, the goal is to have MY blog." My goal is not to be the most prolific or the most popular lensmaster on Squidoo. My goal is to be unique, to offer something that only I, with my unique life experiences and my unique outlook on life, can say. And if a few people derive something useful or inspirational from it, then it is all worthwhile. And if, through the power of word of mouth, more and more people find it and talk about it, then I will be fulfilled.

"I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you."
Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine, September 2002

Books in Winter - Jessie Wilcox-Smith
Buy From Art.com

I've been writing since I was a little girl. I wrote stories and poems, and got good grades on term papers. I really wanted to be a writer, but was afraid I would fail, so I became a social worker instead.

But even as a social worker, I thrived on the writing part of the job. I wrote the best progress notes, because I wrote about my clients as people with a story, not just names on a paper. As a stay at home mother, I wrote a weekly column in our local newspaper.,

Writing is my joy, but it has never been my career. Only recently did I give myself permission to devote myself totally to what I love, in whatever time I can carve out for it.

On a trip to a bargain bookstore one day, I came across a book that seemed to be calling to me. It is called "Writing Spirit," by Lynn Andrews, the author of many spiritual books. I have to admit that I have not been a big fan of her books, but this one seemed special. She also started writing as a little girl and in the book describes her own journey as a writer.

This is a book about writing, for writers. Lynn understands that we writers often doubt ourselves. She believes we all have a creative power available to us, yet we often choose not to tap into it. Or we become afraid that this inner power will change us, which it often does. The power comes from going within to touch the hidden well of creativity, and bringing that creativity back to the world.

Lynn states, "Doubting is really a defense against going deeper into your own power, recognizing your power, taking your power. It is a defense against your own realization." She goes on to say, "You can't just dream. You have to manifest the dream."

I mentioned earlier that I was comparing my own level of writing with others who had achieved that Squidoo goal of being a Giant Squid. I felt like I was somehow lacking because I was not producing enough to get into that special group.

Then I read this passage:

"Never compare yourself with another writer because in a sense we are all overshadowed by someone like Shakespeare. However, it is also true that you are an individual. Your experience is different from that of anyone else who has ever lived, and your work is powerful and unique because of who you are. You would not be writing in the first place if you did not have the writer's spirit, and that is a treasure beyond compare, which gives you your vision and awareness deep inside your soul that no one except yourself can ever take away."

Once again I was getting the message. Be true to my own spirit, respect my individuality, and follow my dream.

Don't Give Up Your PASSION by HiddenGrove

Have you seen the movie "Phenomenon" with John Travolta? I love the part where he buys the woman's ugly handmade chairs so she will come back to his garage to bring more to sell. Later in the movie, the character Doc says to a man in the bar, "Every woman has her chair, something she needs to put herself into, Banes. You ever figure out what Lisa's chairs were and buy 'em? "

My husband has figured out what my chairs are, and he buys them regularly. He totally supports my writing and Squidoo addiction and serves as technical and creative consultant when needed. He even created some business cards for me and has been busy handing them out to people he meets.

One of the people he has told about my writing is an English professor at the University of Kansas. He suggested that I read the book "On Writing" by Stephen King. As a true supporter of my "chairs", my husband encouraged me to order the book.

To be honest, I haven't really been a great fan of Stephen King either. I've liked a few of his movies that have been made from his books, but haven't really gotten into reading them. It goes to show that you can find inspiration in very unlikely places, even from a person known mostly for writing horror stories.

I liked the book on writing a lot, mainly because he used his own story as a writer to make his points (this is beginning to sound like a theme). He talks about having to work at different jobs to support his family, and his problems with alcohol and drug addiction. Yet he keeps on writing and it was his wife, who was the buyer of his "chairs," who pulled the manuscript for Carrie from the trash where he had thrown it. She insisted that he submit it and that was the catalyst that changed their lives.

What follows are some quotes from Stephen King on the topic of writing. I use them to remind myself that somewhere there might be my own version of "Carrie" that will propel me into the limelight.

Photo above is a screenshot from the movie showing the chairs in the back of the truck from International Movie Database.

"It's hard for me to believe that people who read very little - or not at all in some cases - should presume to write and expect people to like what they have written. Can I be blunt on this subject? If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time - or the tools - to write. Simple as that."

"As with all other aspects of the narrative art, you will improve with practice, but practice will never make you perfect. Why should it? What fun would that be?"

"Talent renders the whole idea of rehearsal meaningless; when you find something at which you are talented, you do it (whatever it is) until your fingers bleed or your eyes are ready to fall out of your head. Even when no one is listening (or reading, or watching), every outing is a bravura performance, because you as the creator are happy. Perhaps even ecstatic."

"You can approach the act of writing with nervousness, excitement, hopefulness, or even despair-the sense that you can never completely put on the page what's in your mind and heart. You can come to the act with your fists clenched and your eyes narrowed, ready to kick ass and take down names. You can come to it because you want a girl to marry you or because you want to change the world. Come to it any way but lightly. Let me say it again: you must not come lightly to the blank page."

"Hardly anybody ever writes anything nice about introverts. Extroverts rule. This is rather odd when you realise that about nineteen writers out of twenty are introverts. We are been taught to be ashamed of not being 'outgoing'. But a writer's job is ingoing."
Ursula K. LeGuin

So what do you do when you are in a funk and can't find the groove? I turn to quotes from famous people Just because they are famous doesn't make their quotes any more valid than something you or I would say. But they became famous because they did something that made them "remarkable" (another word Seth likes to use).

So lets hear the wisdom some remarkable people:

"All men are born free and equal - free at least in their right to be different. Some people want to homogenize society everywhere. I'm against the homogenizers in art, in politics, in every walk of life. I want the cream to rise."
Robert Frost

"One of the marks of excellent people is that they never compare themselves with others. They only compare themselves with themselves and with their past accomplishments and future potential".
Brian Tracy

"Abandoning who people think you are and becoming who you really are is a simple concept, but sometimes it is very hard to do. It isn't easy to give up others' ideas of who you are. Yet the key to success is to discover your uniqueness and to exploit it. Your authentic persona, either personal or corporate, is the key to your prosperity."
Larry Winget

"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt."~
Sylvia Plath

"Most people imitate others. You should be original, and whatever you do, do well."
Paramahansa Yogananda

"Writing, real writing, should leave a small sweet bruise somewhere on the writer . . . and on the reader."
Clarissa Pinkola Estés

"Only this: if you are writing without zest, without gusto, without love, without fun, you are only half a writer. It means you are so busy keeping one eye on the commercial market, or one ear peeled for the avant-garde coterie, that you are not being yourself. You don't even know yourself. For the first thing a writer should be is-excited."
Ray Bradbury - Zen and the Art of Writiing