Move on after a break up

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Dealing with a break up and moving on

A break up can be very difficult to get through, as not only are you dealing with the emotional hurt of someone leaving you and being rejected by someone you love but also the loss of someone who was a big part of your life, and can sometimes feel similar to grieving for the death of someone as as far as your life is concerned they are no longer there. But there are things you can do to help you get through this process, and that is one thing you have to remember it is a process, it's a temporary time of hurt and you are not going to feel like this forever. It is a cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason, that time heals.

“The dark of night does not come after the golden glow of the day's sun but before it.”

Moving on help

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Out of sight, out of mind

First thing in the process of moving on after a break up is removing them from your life. If you want to be friends with them, then that can be done later on when you have both moved on and are at a point where you can be platonic with one another and not hold any resentment or hurt. So for the time being it is best that you have as little contact with them as necessary in order for you to get used to this new life of not having them, and also for you to get used to being your own person again and not slipping back into old, safe and well-known habits that you have gotten used to. It might hurt going cold turkey, but after a few weeks you will start to not even realize you haven't spoken to them, and once you have gotten to that point where you don't miss having them as a boyfriend or girlfriend and merely miss the person then you can think about being friends. It is also best for during this time to get rid of anything that reminds them off you, if you can't go as extreme as throwing out old mementos and gifts then give them to a friend to look after or put them away in box somewhere that you won't see them very often. As another cliche is which is quite true, out of sight out of mind, and for the time being you need them to be as far out of your mind as possible.

Break up help

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Distract yourself

Second part of this process is distracting yourself from the break up. This could mean starting a new hobby or reconnecting with old friends who you may have neglected whilst you were in a relationship. One of the main things people notice when they break up with someone is how much time they spent with that person and so how much more free time they have on there hands afterwards time which you want to be busy doing something so you don't dwell on the past and what could have been. So perfect time to get stuck into something you've always been interested in, for me it was writing, but it could be anything such as travelling, drawing, dance, sports or education. Something that is purely for you and what you want to do. One of the perks of being single, only what you want to do really matters.

Heartbreak help

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Let the hurt out

Thirdly, part of the process of moving on after a break up means putting it behind you, which means if you feel like crying and wallowing for a short period of time, emphasis on short, then do that, it's got to come out someway but then once it is out get back and start living again. They are just on person, and you can't let them affect your life anymore than they have done, as you are your own person and have to life for yourself. But let everything go at it's own pace, don't force yourself or your body to do anything it's not ready for but also don't let yourself wallow and just fall into the self-pitying cycle as the sooner you get out there and get stuck into something and become interested in and passionate about something, the sooner you'll forget all about your heartache and wonder what you were so upset about in the first place.

Breaking up help

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Reader Feedback

  • YellowHammer Jun 1, 2012 @ 9:12 am | delete
    Sometimes it feels like your heart will be broken forever and then you wake up one morning and the pain is a little less. That's when I find things start to get better.
  • slappywalker Mar 26, 2012 @ 1:36 pm | delete
    Thank you for writing this. Sometimes a person just needs to read it to know that it can be done. I think that these are the times when family and friends help the most. They are there to listen to you vent and also help distract you when needed. Nice lens!
  • Ella90 Apr 26, 2012 @ 7:44 am | delete
    Your welcome and thank you for your comment. Yeah friends and family are a really important support during times like this
  • kieranrdblack Feb 28, 2012 @ 6:55 pm | delete
    This is very true and something that affects most people out there, thanks for the food for thought!
  • Ella90 Mar 2, 2012 @ 5:37 pm | delete
    Your welcome and thanks for your comment
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Amazon Spotlight 

Romantic Comedy Pack Quadruple Feature (Along Came Polly / The Wedding Date / Intolerable Cruelty / The Story of Us)

Amazon Price: $9.65 (as of 06/02/2012)Buy Now

A good way to distract yourself and cheer yourself up are comedy films, well they are for me at least, and even romantic comedies can be good films to watch after a break up as they show you the ideals of love and relationships which you can now go for now your single and find someone better than your ex.

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