A day in a mums world

Greetings readers!
How much can I say that will sum up my life, without boring you rigid or reverting to humour in its lowest form-bumspeak- that being technical parent jargon for 'poo' talk.
Sarcasm is an element that gradually seeps away from my abilities to attain attention, or possible laughter. Sarcasm, now no longer my lowest form of wit, although it is the owl from 'Pooh bear' who taught me that it is in fact the lowest form of wit, so many years ago.
All mental skills that are homed after the age of about ten years old, have been gradually sinking lower into the back of my brain as the days and months go by. Rather similarly to the general declining that is happening to my once pert bosoms.
I am trying to convey my change of mental attitude since becoming a mother, by comparing my brains activities to my bodies alterations during this new and exciting time of my life.
I was once, I thought, a funny girl who jumped at the opportunity to find a sarcastic comment in any one or more conversations. I would blurt out my observations, and if timed well would be received with much laughter and positive feedback. But now, things have changed so much.
It's not that I no longer identify with the drunken lasses inadequately clad late on a week night. Nor is it the lack of sympathy I have developed for any hard working moans about misguided supervisors, tiredness or stress. What truly bothers me is my decreasing ability to cleverly yank out humour from the very fine tuned art of conversation.
With a baby of 11 months and a son who is 2 and a bit, who is not responding well to my efforts to teach him about other places to poo than his easy trusty nappy, my conversation skills are depleting fast. How many times do I talk to them about their bowel movements in one day alone? Are they listening? Is God listening? Is there a God? If so, does he care? I'm sure that is all immaterial. But I know. I know how often I talk shit.
Boys jokes about passing wind, never amused me. Immature, silly simple minded humour, it was. But as the days roll on and the poo keeps coming, I am starting to see the funny side of an essential part of a human function.
If I never saw it before, I am getting the joke now.
If I don't laugh, I am in danger of either becoming a prude...unlikely, or quietly going a bit mad!
From morning to night I am am thinking about my children's bums, how long ago it was since they last pooped, where's the soothing sudocrem? Where did I put that dirty nappy? What have they eaten, to make this stuff? etc etc, How many times I must ask "have you had a poo" to be replied with "no" and a quickly disappearing wiffy child.
There must be more to life? Potty training is a laugh, at least it is when it goes to plan, and I have the time and patience for the learning process. I really am not bothered by the stuff, I never have been sickened by the whole smell and wiping thing. It is the behaiviour I am displaying in relation to the subject that is starting to sicken me.
Going back to the inability to be my sarcastic self. I think I should try going out and talk to an adult about anything other than the dreaded poo subject. But will I do it? Go out? Deviate from my favorite subject?
I can see the pub, the people, drinks and music..the scene is clear in my mind. Last time I went out, I was not only talking about kids but behaving like one, jumping up and down doing my mental grin, looking like a deranged overgrown child, getting totally hammered, well thats the only first hour and a half that I can remember..
Anyway, if I manage to actually get out, and refrain from being six on her way to Disneyworld, I would like to try my conversational skills...sod that brain training game, real life would be the challenge for me.
Oh I crave the opportunity to overhear a conversation that is not directed at me, and interrupt with a complementary comment that turns heads just enough to allow me in. I would sit and listen, drinking sweetly nodding and mimicking body language in the knowledge that the newly found friends will identify with me, and start opening up to me. It used to be my favorite drinking game.
You must only do this to the 'pissed' one of the group, who is the one that is grotesquely overconfident and cocky. Bide your time and they will inevitably give something away that will open them up to the perfect sarcastic comment..you don't have to be cruel, just quick.
Oh bugger I won't be able to do it, unless they are referring to their mother potty training them as a small child. I'm not trying to be nasty, but there is always someone who is going on and everyone is dying to say "SHUT UP" but too polite to tell them. Sarcasm is usually the kindest way of stealing the wind from their sails, especially if you follow it with an equally obscure complement, that may also sound sarcastic, but they won't be able to respond as you appear to be trying to be nice.
So the theory is there, but the possibilities of all this happening are as about as remote as my son saying "mummy I need a poo" and doing it in his potty.