Autism

Noticing your little one is just not right can be a scary thing. Everyone always tells you how wonderful toddlers are and how interactive they can be, and your heart breaks when the months pass and you just know something is not right with your child. You search for answers, you try everything you can to make them come back to your world, only to see them pull even further away.

No one ever talks about the fact that not every child is the same. The fact that not every child is going to be that perfect, bouncing bundle of joy that gives hugs and kisses and says I love you mommy and daddy.

Instead some of us wake up to discover that our little boy is not the same as their little boy. Our little boy doesn't talk, and maybe he doesn't walk. Our little guy may even avoid contact and shy away from being touched. Our little boys, our wonderful little men, have autism. And our world breaks

Autism is on the rise. And with it the stories and the education. A child diagnosed with autism today has a much better chance of living a happy full life than a child born with autism even 10 years ago.

The educational levels are on the rise. We now know that if our sons don't talk, or begin talking only to stop it all together, they may be on the spectrum. We've also learned that if they do talk it may be in a very monotone voice. No emotion at all.

We also know that they may not interact with us. No hugs, no kisses. Not even eye contact. In fact, all three of those things, can send them into a meltdown.

We also know that textures, whether in food, or clothing can upset them beyond anything else. We've learned that they can scream wildly simply because of a smell that is bothering them.

And the sensory issues don't stop there. The noise of the world around them can literally hurt them. We've learned that sound silencing headsets can be a lifesaver.

We've come to know that them walking in circles, or flapping their arms or rocking back and forth banging their heads on the walls is a way for them to cope. Is a method of stimming. We know what stimming means.

We've also come to know, it's okay our children are different. There is nothing wrong with them being different. They are simply being children. Autistic children, who live in their own worlds. Autistic children who may never know what love means, but still you see it in their eyes the odd time you catch eye contact. Autistic little ones who may need us to care for them and protect them from the day they are born, till the day we pass away. And we're okay with that. Because autistic or not, they are OUR children.

Ask any parent how they slept last night and you're sure to get some who grumble about the kids waking up, or not sleeping, or getting up too early. Ask the parent of an autistic child, and the answer is almost certain that they didn't have a good night sleep. Night terrors, waking to early, being too wound up, and the list goes on. Autistic children, for whatever reason, seem to have great difficulties falling asleep and staying asleep.

There are some ways you can help get yourself and your child a good nights rest.

Avoid stimulating food and drinks 2 hours before bedtime. Sugar can over excite autistic children way more than other children. Avoiding these things can help them get a good night sleep.

Help your child relax before bed. A nice warm bath, or some quiet activities can help. Avoid things like the television and other things that can stimulate them before bed.

To help them maintain their sleep, ensure there is a heavy, room darkening curtain on the window. Place thicker carpets on their bedroom floors to help insulate against noise.

You can also try a bed tent. Having a very dark, quiet comforting place to sleep can help minimize how often they wake up.

Another option is to utilize a weighted blanket. The comfort of the weight on them will prevent or minimize movement while they sleep and allow them to get a better nights rest.

Utilize light therapy. During the early hours of the day, get them as much light and sunlight as possible. This will help their own bodies realize and distinguish night and day, which can make sleeping at night better.

Turn on the white noise. If they are waking startled to household noises turn on some white noise for them. Once they become accustomed to the white noise it will play it's part in keeping them asleep and not waking up to other noises.

And lastly, you can try melatonin. This is what your body naturally makes to tell itself when to be awake and when to be asleep. Speak to your health care professionals before using this to ensure your child is receiving the correct dose.

If all else fails, try alternating with your partner or spouse as to who will get up each night with your child. This can help allow each person a night of rest, while the other tends to your child's needs.

Sleep is something we all need and tend to enjoy. Doing what you can to help your autistic child sleep, will help you get your own good nights sleep.

Most of us are born with the ability to tell what other people are feeling, or pick up on the body language they are sending us. For children with autism, this born ability is not there.

Children with autism often have a difficult time interacting socially with other children because they don't read cues the same way. Where most children know when someone is directing their attention to you, many autistic children do not. Instead the are in a world of their own, trying to interact best the can.

Another thing that autistic children are often missing is empathy. Instead of being able to understand the feelings of those around them, they often come off being cold and callous, because they simply do not understand feelings. And without understanding feelings, they often don't notice when they've done something that upsets their peers. As a result, social interactions when they do occur can end abruptly, with the other child quite upset over something the autistic child did or did not do.

Teaching our children these behaviours can be quite difficult too. While we weren't taught to understand each other, it was something we kind of knew from the start. Autistic children don't have this ability from the start, it needs to instead be taught to them.

One such way to encourage an understanding of feelings is with cue cards. Utilizing cards with different emotions we can try and teach our children what sad looks like, what mad looks like, what happy looks like, and hope that in the end they can at least begin to pick up the cues going on around them.

Another option, is to try and make them more aware of their own feelings and let them discover by association what others are feeling. We can do this with an emotion chart. Getting them to point out and show us what they are feeling may help them recognize and understand emotions in others. Asking them over the course of the day will help show them that emotions change and also give them the general idea of what a person looks like when having that feeling.

Autism changes the world around us, and can make life a little more difficult to live. With out help, our children can begin to understand their own emotions and the emotions of others, and begin to be able to interact better with their peers.

Accepting your child has any form of disorder or disability can be a hard pill to swallow. After all we are fed on a constant basis what our children should or shouldn't be doing by such an age, and are taught to compare them to other children from the day they are born. When you find out your child has autism, you realize in a single moment, your child will never be the same. Your child's entire world shifts. And so does yours.

Learning acceptance over anything is difficult. As a parent with a child with autism, it can be even harder. Spouses will often blame each other when the diagnosis is first determined. They'll point fingers and blame, which will help no one, especially their child.

The first thing you need to do is let go of it.

It really doesn't matter what caused the autism, or if it's was anybodies fault. What matters is that your little one has autism, and needs the attention, love and care of both of you.

Fighting over nonsense things that will only be detrimental to everyone is useless.

Instead dedicate yourself to your child. To the autism, to the fight for a cure.

Don't let the negative thoughts consume you. Pursue positivity for both your family, your child and yourself.

The next step is to remember, that child is still YOUR child. They are still the little bundle of joy you brought into the world. They are still your sweet little child. They are not autism, they are your baby.

Realize that labels can be a good thing. Sometimes having a name to call a problem is a good thing. Knowing your child is autistic can help you take better care of them, be a better more understanding parent. Having that label also makes it so others know how special your child is.

Take comfort in the fact you are not alone. There are thousands of children all over North America and through out the world who suffer from autism. Remembering that there are others out there dealing with the same thing can provide some comfort. Reaching out to others who have been there before is an even better way to cope.

There is and always will be hope. Cures are found everyday. Research is conducted daily, around the world. There is hope that better techniques and even a cure may become available to help your autistic child.

Lastly, remember all children are unique, whether they have autism or otherwise. All children are simply children. Stop thinking of your child as different, start thinking of your child as just that, your child. No matter what every child will be different. Embrace their differences and be understanding of them, and life will be better for all of you.