Diagnosed with Breast Cancer - My story

Did I do self breast examinations? No. When my doctor would tell me I should, I would just roll my eyes and say "I'm way to young to worry about that". Will I do them religiously from now on...ABSOLUTELY!

Women younger and younger are being diagnosed with breast cancer....so ladies, do those self examinations!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

On April 5th (2009) I simply ran my fingers around my upper chest & neck adjusting my collar, that's when I first felt the bump and at that moment it was like a flashing red light and siren just went off.

As my fingers began to probe and investigate my mind immediately went to the "worse case scenario".

Questions quickly filled my head...do I worry my husband or find out what this is first? what do I tell my kids?...is it cancer?...am I going to die?...when the hell did this get here?

The first available doctor's appointment wouldn't be for another 10 days and I did end up telling my husband, I was too upset not to. However, my children are far too young to tell before it's absolutely necessary (they are 7 and 9) so we are telling them on a need to know basis. They call the lump a "boobie stone".

As you can see by my photo, my lump (marked by the pink ribbon) is very high up in my chest..."superior to the breast" as my doctor put it. It's in the upper right quadrant of my chest.

May 11th was my breast ultrasound. As I laid there I recalled from my memory the last time I had an ultrasound...happier times...when I was pregnant and looking at my soon to be born child. Much like a kid at Christmas I couldn't wait to find out what I was getting...and so I caved and asked the technician "boy or girl"?

I was tempted to ask this time..."cancer or not"?...but I know that technicians and nurses can't give out info like that, only the doctor so I didn't want to put her in a difficult position...so I just sat there and watched...I studied the black spot on the screen, watched her measure it, watched the color doppler indicate blood flow by all it's little red dots...but at the time I didn't know what any of it meant...until a few days later.

When you get the phone call from the medical secretary saying "the doctor would like to see you this week...and you'd better bring your husband"...you know it's not good news.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

May 14th was my mammogram and the day I found out I had breast cancer. My mammogram wasn't that bad...sure it's awkward to stand, arch your back and have your boob squeezed by a big machine...maybe it was my technician, I had heard she's one of the more gentle ones in the area.

It just so happens my doctor's office is on the same floor as the imaging center that did the ultrasound and mammogram so waiting was no longer an option...I walked in and asked if my doctor could see me then vs the next day and a) save me another 45 minute trip in and b) settle my mind.

When I got the news to show up with my husband I immediately knew it wasn't the "lipoma" my doctor 1st thought it might be, so I Googled "lipoma ultrasounds"...I saw that the picture showed lots of grey and white - nothing like what I had seen. So I Googled "breast cancer ultrasounds"...and that's what I saw...a solid black mass covered in red dots from the color doppler.

My doctor only confirmed what I already knew. As she read the words "shows suspicious signs of malignancy" we both cried. It measures 2cm so that's a very good indicator we've caught it early.

I cried the whole way home...45 minutes in the car by myself...and then I caught up with my husband and 2 boys at McDonalds and quickly realized the clock just keeps ticking...I needed to go home help the kids with homework, catch up on laundry and pack lunches for the next day.

I'd only ever felt like this once before...when my father passed away...you realize there is no grey, it's all black and white...you are either here or you're not. I was still here, and there were things I needed to keep doing. People say "throw yourself into your work" well, being a stay at home mom my work is my family and my home.

That night, after watching The Secret (about 3 times) I created a Gratitude Journal...there's 2 tips from me...watch The Secret and start a Gratitude Journal...and you don't need to be diagnosed with cancer to take the tip either!

photo credit: www.everettclinic.com

Visions In Vinyl on Etsy created this hillarious vinyl sticker...I purchased one and am going to put it on my van! LOL

Heather's aunt underwent a double mastectomy due to breast cancer. I love what she writes in her listing about this is "a lighthearted look at a heavy issue".

Heather will donate $5 of every order to breastcancer.org.

May 24th my MRI...my one and only tip when getting an MRI...ask for the additional head rest/lift! Oh...and keep your eyes open! What a surreal experience an MRI is...I just laid there the whole time (approx 25 minutes) on my tummy with my boobs strategically placed in cylinder type cups thinking "I can't believe I'm here".

About 2 minutes into the testing I caved and pushed the "help button"...I felt like I couldn't breath, I could no longer feel the fan and didn't know if "don't move" even meant "don't blink"...the nurse was kind enough to bring in an extra head lift (pillow) which allowed for more air circulation and told me opening my eyes was safe...those 2 things made a world of difference in completing the testing. When they injected the dye into my arm I did experience the cool sensation in my arm and very little of the after taste in my mouth.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

June 3rd my Biopsy ...my nurse that day was a breast cancer survivor of 7 years! Positive stories like that just help push you through all these tests, each one getting you closer and closer to the finish line. They were great in explaining everything...1st the needle to freeze the area, then the biopsy needle makes a small incision (approx 2mm long) and the doctor warned me of a loud clicking sound that would happen next and to try and not jump (due to the sound). It was not painful. They took 4 samples, stuck it in a "bio-hazard" jar (which surprised me)...they let me look at it (I don't recommend that-ick!) and then they applied heavy heavy pressure on the area to stop bleeding. They said that part often hurts more than the biopsy...it didn't really hurt, it was just more uncomfortable than anything. Once the bleeding stopped they told me to wear a sports bra home & over night that night and to change the band-aid every day for the next 4 days. A small bruise appeared after a few days (about 1 inch in diameter) but they did warn me the bruising could be as much as my whole breast.

They also warned me of signs something was wrong like: red area, hot to the touch, oozing of any kind, etc. I had no signs of an infection.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

June 4th MRI results show "it's not in bones or lympnodes". I swear I'm a newbie going through this...I didn't even know when they said "check to see if it's spread" that that's what they meant! I thought they meant from the right boob to the left boob...or down to my foot...needless to say, next time I go for an MRI it's going to be a l-o-n-g week of waiting...but it's do-able!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

June 12th biopsy results indicate "cell type is ductal invasive with no features typical of lobular". Sort of the news we were expecting...my doctor has been wonderful! She's forwarded on to me medical forums I can join under a guest pass to find more accurate information, she's been calling and emailing me herself. When she found out I wasn't on the list of surgical consultations she raised hell for me.

Her best tip for anyone going through this: get a notebook & pen for all appointments, especially the next one which is the surgeon's consultation.

She's also told me she doesn't know anyone who has gone through breast cancer without some form/combination of radiation and or chemotherapy...so, I'd better just get used to that upcoming fact. She said to look at it as "insurance".

There's a funny saying on the web, "chemo - the breakfast of survivors".

photo credit: www.towerdiagnostic.com

Consultation date: June 23rd. It was the surgeon's 1st thought to do a mastectomy. The lump was described as "multi-focal" or "multi-centric" meaning "more than 1 lump". After looking over the MRI pictures and consulting with another surgeon that decision was changed to a lumpectomy.

The 2 lumps are 4cm apart but joined by a duct. This is why some technicians were calling it 1 and others said it was 2.

During this meeting it is absolutely necessary you have a pen and paper! There was so much information thrown at both my husband and myself that even writing it down on paper wasn't enough, we both talked about the meeting afterwards and I realized then he picked information up that I had missed, so a "buddy" is helpful too.

I was told an Imaging center would call me within a few days to schedule my "staging tests". They were: chest x-ray, bone scan, abdominal ultrasound and a blood pool test. Non of which were more important than the pre-op appointment so I was told if I had to reschedule any appointments it was to be the staging ones.

Surgery has been scheduled for July 17th.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bone Scan: June 26th - long test (2-3 hrs)
Chest Xray: July 9th - 10 min
Blood Pool: July 9th - long test (2 hrs)
Abdom.Ultrasound: Sept 3rd - 1/2 hr long test.*fasting*

The Bone Scan: This one scared me the most because it was to determine if the cancer had spread to my bones. Which is what I thought the MRI was for. It was explained to me by the nurse that the MRI is like looking for cancer in the bones with glasses on...it gives you a really good idea if it's there but a bone scan is like looking for the cancer under a microscope, so it's 110% accurate.

And I am thrilled to say that my bone scan came back as "normal"...whew! Meaning, the cancer is not in my bones.

The bone scan test is rather long. Bring a book, go back home if time allows or be prepared to do some local shopping.

I was injected (in my arm) with a radioactive tracer substance. For 3 hours we allowed it to flow through my bloodstream and into my bones. Then a gamma camera scanned me from head to toe (this takes approx 20-25 minutes.)

Here is the link I used to find out more information before going in:

http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/bone-scan

The bone scan machine is not as intimidating as the MRI machine as it has open sides but the camera will start at your head about 1/2 an inch away from your nose...the head part only lasts about 10 minutes. Closing my eyes helped. Like the MRI you will not be able to move, but the good part about this camera is once it's passed an area (ie your head) you can move that part of your body.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
July 7th we managed to squeeze in a bonus test...yes, another fun filled morning at the hospital all in the name of life and research! The Pre-Op Exam: before your operation there is a full 1/2 day of testing and meetings so "bring a book!". This is the mother of all tests and can't be missed!

I was told that the pre-op appointment takes priority over any of the staging tests. It is your pre-operation tests...your EKG, discussions with the home care nurses, perscriptions, meeting with the anesthesiologist, blood work, etc...

It's at the pre-op appointment you will be asked to sign off on the work the doctor has to do during the operation. Mine was "lumpectomy, sentinel lymph node biopsy and the possibilty of further lymph node removal". You will also be told what to bring, what not to bring, what to wear and what not to wear (eg: did you know that nail polish is a no no on operation day? Click HERE to read why)

More about the Sentinel Lymph Node Biopsy:

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Therapy/sentinel-node-biopsy

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chest x-ray easy peasy - done - check - 10 minutes tops!

Gated Blood Pool Scan: Go to imaging center, get needle with more radioactive dye (any more of this stuff and I'm going to glow in the dark soon)...wait or walk around for 1/2 hr...go back, get another needle in other arm and get pics taken with the gamma-camera (I love saying that)...they took 3 different pics while I lay on my back, lasting about 5 minutes each...again the large metal camera was inches from my face so if you have claustrophobic issues just close your eyes and concentrate on breathing in and out nice and slowly. Compared to the MRI this test is a piece of cake! Except that my arm is feeling like a pin cushion & looking a bit bruised. This test is to see if your heart is strong enough to take on chemo...I'm pleased to say..."bring it on!" :o)

Great site giving more technical info on this test:
http://www.texasheartinstitute.org/HIC/Topics/Diag/dimuga.cfm
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On July 17th, 2009 I kicked cancer's @$$!
(with the help of my surgeon)
...on to round 2! (chemotherapy)

Sentinel lymph node biopsy incision on side, under arm. This incision is the one that hurts the most and the pain is very mild...much like a headache...this is because after removing the sentinel nodes (about 2-4) the surgeon dug around in the area feeling for other nodes farther down the line.

Before surgery there was another radiation injection and just like the nurse said to me..."I'm not going to lie...this needle hurts!"...so far in all of this cancer stuff, even the surgery...this needle is the most painful thing I've had to do.

Should you need a sentinel lymph node biopsy the needle before hand to "find" the sentinel nodes it is painful but it's DOABLE!

It all started with the nurse started swabbing down my nipple area, shocked & feeling she was getting a little too personal, I was like "what are you doing?" and she said "it has to be injected into your areola" ...then I started to pay attention! She could tell by the instant drained look on my face that this was a surprise to me and then told me "yes, this is going to hurt".

Being a "need to know" gal I immediately fired out questions to prepare myself...

1. What does the pain feel like?
A: a sharp, stabbing, burning pain...in your nipple

2. How long will the pain/injection last?
A: 60 seconds

(it was at this point I knew I could do this...)

3. What do some women do?
A: some moan, some yell, some scream...

(now I had some idea of the intensity of pain)

So with my left hand I grabbed my husbands hand (thank god he didn't listen to me and stayed that day) and with my right I grabbed ahold of the bedpost. The pain is instant it's not gradual and it's for the full 60 seconds plus a bit.

I panted as if I was in labour...clinched my teeth and with tears running down my eyes I did let out a few squeals in pain but kept the info in my head that it's only 60 seconds. Hang on to that thought!

Immediately afterwards you are asked to massage the area for 10 minutes at which point you are still in pain and thinking "you've got to be kidding me!" but the nurse said the faster you start massaging the area the faster the pain goes away because you are circulating the radiation fluid away from the areola...and it's true...a few minutes later you think "I don't want to, but I could do that again if I had to".

Massaging the area is necessary for the radiation to flow through the breast tissue and to find the sentinel nodes. If you want to find out if the cancer is in your lymph nodes you will do all of this and more.

Finally pain free, the nurse/technician then takes a few pictures of the area with the gamma-ray camera in order to find the nodes and then marks approximately where they are in your chest with a pen for the sugeon.

A couple hours later its off to the operating room. My surgery was about 45 minutes long. The surgeon later spoke to my husband and said that based on his experience he feels he got it all and that visually (75% chance) my lymph nodes showed no sign of spread...lab testing of the mass and nodes will give us the 100% we need.

Now we wait for the pathology report...but we are very confident in the surgeon's skills and experience and keeping a positive attitude.

Follow up with surgeon: July 29th