My Dog Ate My Marijuana

Funny true story that really happened to me; Although It wasnt so funny at the time when I thought my dog was on her way to doggie heaven, now I look back and and laugh about it; I came home from work and my dog was on the floor on her back with all fours sticking up in the air twitching and jerking around; Her eyes were rolling around and moving side to side. My first thought was she was having some type of seizure or somehow got poisioned until I looked next to the sofa and quickly figured out what might be happening. I panicked, loaded my best friend in the honda and darted to the small animal emergency room.

I came home one day and my wife was washing this little grey dog with a mountain of cut hair and sticker burs in a pile next to the bathtub. Outside at the time was a severe thunderstorm going on and she said the little pooch was just sitting in the middle of a busy four way intersection and cars were swerving to go around her. So she pulled over and went into the traffic and the storm to rescue her.

She named her Annie from the movie Little Orpan Annie because she looked like an orphan or lost dog by her matted appearance. We tried to find the owner and after no one claimed her we called her our own. We soon understood why she sat in the middle of the street in the storm without budging. She was frightened of thunder. Everytime a thunderstorm would come around we would have to hold her until it was over. She would shake and tremble from the beginning to the end. Through all of that Annie was very happy to have a new home and be around people that loved her. She was family from that point on and became best friends with our min pin named Lady.

For all of you animal lovers and advocates out there such as I that was the only time it ever happened. After that strange event I became more aware and responsible as a pet owner.

It happened exactly as written.

I Got In Late From Work,
My Dog Looked Kinda Dead.
Her Tongue Was Hanging Out,
Eyes Rolled Up In Her Head.

I Put Her In The Car,
I Took Her To The Vet.
I Said Hey Doc Look,
Please Try To Save My Pet.

It Looks Like She's Been Poisoned,
I Hope We're Not To Late.
I'll Pump This In Her Stomach,
Then She'll Regurgitate.

She Struggled Up On All Fours,
Im Talkin Barely Able.
Then All Of The Sudden,
She Puked All Over The Table.

We Looked Down At Her Barfings,
My Thought Was She's Not Dyin.
About That Time Doc Said,
Son Your Dogs Brain Is Fryin.

It Looks Like Marijuana,
And She Really Ate A Lot.
My Mind Began To Ponder,
That Was Some Killer Diller Pot.

I Said I Hope You Like Honesty,
I Know It's A Bit Of A Drag.
But Doc You Gotta Listen,
I Think My Dog Ate My Bag.

Dog8mybag Stoned Again Productions
Austin Texas USA

I will never forget the first time I smoked marijuana. The funny part is I didnt know it was about to happen and I was in my early teens at the time. Most might not find it so funny that a 13 year old is out and about smoking pot but looking back I find it to be an absolutely hilarious experience. The group of people I was hanging out with were my best friends from the neighborhood. One of my friends had a brother old enough to drive so we all climbed in his old ratty tatty ford falcon with an 8-track player with the 70's band Humble Pie playing. I remember everything about that night as if it were yesterday. Next we darted down to the nearest corner store and picked up a couple bottles of strawberry hill and a few cheapy cigars to share between us. Back in the seventies their was no TABC. If you had cold hard cash you had whatever you wanted. My older friends were buying beer and cigarrettes at the age of 15. For a bunch of young boys going through adolescence we thought life was good.

We headed down the road just at the edge of our neighborhood and ended up at the drive in movies. Valley of the Dolls was on the marquee as now playing but we didnt care what the movie was, we just wanted a place to hang out. Between the strawberry hill, the cigars and the movie it probably only set us back a dollar or two each. The times were cheap and we were broke so it all worked out great.

We pulled into our usual spot which was always in the middle two or three rows from the back. It was close to the snack bar, restrooms and near other classmates we knew. Valley of the Dolls was on the big screen and I will never forget at this time Foghat was plugged into the 8-track. There was 3 of us in the back and two people up front. I saw my friends brother moving around a lot up front but couldnt see over the seat what was happening. All of the sudden I saw him strike a match and light up what I thought was a cheapy cigar we bought at the store. About this time I was already semi drunk from my 4 or 5 big swigs of cheap immitation wine that was being passed around. Then this fresh piney smell rolled into the back seat and did it ever smell so good. Before I know it there was a hand in my face passing it to me. The first time around I faked like I was smoking it and no one even noticed. I was scared because I had never even been near marijuana before. I didnt know my friends were such experts at smoking pot. They had been in the closet the whole time because they new the strict rules I had at home and didnt want to corrupt me. The next time the joint came around my friend to the left was talking to me face to face when it was passed to me. There was no way out of it. I had to take a toke and inhale it. After a few more rounds of passing the joint I noticed I couldnt stop laughing and didnt have a worry in the world. I was having the time of my life. That was the first time in my life I experienced smoking marijuana and here I am 38 years later and still enjoy the calmness and relaxed state of mind I get when I smoke.
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There were 5 young kids in that car that night trying to figure out the meaning of life. One went on to become the vice president of a bank in Dallas Texas. Another is a very successful dentist in College Station Texas. The one person I certainly thought would never be anything because he was a lot like me at the time is a private detective in Houston and owns 2 McDonalds restaurants. One is a veterinarian and the other is making a small fortune on the internet.

Featuring Songs Like: Stop Arresting Marijuana Users by Willie Nelson / NORML, Never Smoke Weed with Willie Again by Toby Keith and Willie Nelson, Wildwood Weed by Jim Stafford, Dont Bogart That Joint by Country Joe, Cuz I Got High by Afro Man and other good forgotten songs about marijuana.



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