My Daddy was a Lovely Man
He was what we call here in the UK, a "lovely fella." He was far from perfect but then who is? He had a great sense of humour and if you were with him you had to be able to take a joke against yourself. He didn't only dish it out, though, he could take it too when he was the butt of a joke.
He was affectionate, but not in a soppy way, and he was there when somebody needed practical help. Then he would get embarrassed and offhand when thanks were given.
I'm going to share some of my memories of my father, Donald Llewellyn Fisher, chef, family man and joker.
Contents
- My Father's Background
- Oh My Beloved Father
- My Childhood Memories
- You're a Pink Toothbrush
- When Father Papered the Parlour
- My Father's Passions
- My Father's New Life
- My Father - The Joker
- In Memoriam
- My Sister's Wedding Bouquet on our Father's Grave
- Abide With Me
- Fathers in the Movies and on TV
- More About Fathers
- Please Give to the Stroke Network
- Like This Lens?
- Would you like to share memories of your father?
- About Me
My Father's Background
My Daddy with my Half-Sister, photograph taken in 1973
My father, Don, was born in 1922. His mother was Welsh and her maiden name was Eleanor Llewellyn which is why he was given that as a second name. His father, George, was a merchant seaman. Daddy was the youngest of four children - two brothers, Jack and George, and sister Peggy.They were a relatively poor family and my grandmother Eleanor died when Don was about seven years old. His father was a tough and probably violent man - at least that's how Don remembered him while his mother was still alive. After she died Don's life got harder as he pretty much had to take care of himself.
He used to tell one story of his childhood from when he was about ten or eleven that he meant to be humorous not a 'poor me' anecdote.
His father seemed to drink all the money away and so the children didn't get the clothes they needed. Don had a big hole in the knee of his trousers (pants) and he decided to sew it up himself. He scrunched the fabric together and used big stitches to hold it. It was, apparently, the furthest thing from invisible mending you could imagine. He went to school the next day and got into a fight in the schoolyard with another boy. They ended up rolling round in the mud until a teacher broke it up. Don had to see the headmaster (prinicipal) who said to him, "And what's worse, the other boy was in his best clothes." Don looked at him and said, "So am I, sir!"
My father always laughed when he got to the punchline and I laughed with him. Inside, though, I felt so sorry for that poor boy who had tried to make his terrible trousers look better. I could imagine his embarrassment and humiliation. The only way that child could save his pride was by acting tough and seeming not to care.
Like a lot of children at that time, he left school at fourteen and went to work in a kitchen to learn a trade. When the Second World War started he joined the RAF (Royal Air Force) where he served on Lancaster bombers. After demobilisation, he went back to being a chef and married my mother in 1946. You can read about their marriage on my Lensography.
My Childhood Memories
You can read about some of my unhappy memories on my Lensography. Here I want to remember the happy times with my father.I am the eldest child and there is just 2 years and 6 months between me and my next brother, 9 years and 6 months between me and the youngest brother. Here you can see my middle brother and me when we were about 8 and 6 years old - I'm guessing, I don't remember.
At this age, one of my strongest memories is playing 'cricket' in the garden with my father. Of course, two children and one adult can't play proper cricket but we used to have such a lot of fun. Then we'd play piggy in the middle where two of us would stand about 12ft apart and the third person stood in the middle and tried to get the ball as the other two threw it between each other. Of course, Daddy quickly got the ball when he was piggy in the middle.
He'd play Monopoly and other games with us. He taught us card games and how to keep track of cards as they came out of the pack. He wasn't a real gambler at all but he did like to play cards, usually bridge and whist. He was a sore loser and his motto was "It's not how you play the game, it's winning that counts" which neatly reverses the real quotation. He was good humoured about it, though, and he'd play to the gallery when he lost by putting on an act of being upset.
On Saturday afternoons, there would be horse racing on television and we'd all sit there and put pretend bets on horses in the different races. We'd keep track of how much we won or lost as well. You might think this is a bad thing to do with children and would turn them into gambling addicts. In fact, none of us have ever gambled or only in the most minor and inconsequential way.
Sometimes he'd give us a playful smack (one which didn't hurt at all) and we'd say, "What's that for?" His answer was, "It's in case you do something." If we were being naughty, he'd say, "How old are you?" and we'd tell him, say "six" for example. His response was, "Do you want to live to be seven? If you do, stop doing that." Perhaps you think that's a terrible thing to say to children. We thought it was hilarious and always laughed.
As a little girl, I thought my father was wonderful and that he could do anything. One of the most poignant moments was when he and I were on the way to my wedding in church. He said to me, "It's not too late to change your mind, I'll tell them." I was eighteen and scared, perhaps having second thoughts but I reassured him. In retrospect, I should have said, "Yes, I have changed my mind." Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but not very useful.
You're a Pink Toothbrush
When Father Papered the Parlour
Wisdom of Our Fathers: Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons
After the publication of Tim Russert's number one New York Times bestseller about his father, Big Russ & Me, he received an avalanche of letters from daughters and sons who wanted to tell him about their own fathers, most of whom were not superdads or heroes but ordinary men who were remembered and cherished for some of their best moments-of advice, tenderness, strength, honor, discipline, and occasional eccentricity.
Most of these daughters and sons were eager to express the gratitude they had carried with them through the years. Others wanted to share lessons and memories and, most important, pass them down to their own children.
This book is for all fathers, young or old, who can learn from the men in these pages how to get it right, and to understand that sometimes it is the little gestures that can make the big difference for your child. For some in this book, the appreciation came later than they would have liked. But as Wisdom of Our Fathers reminds us, it is never too late to embrace it.
My Father's Passions
He had a few activities he loved: fishing, watching cricket, horse racing and other sports, and gardening.The photograph shows my Daddy returning home from fishing with his rod and equipment. He nearly always fished from the beach and he was usually after bass - this was long before it became such a fashionable fish as it is now. He'd look at the weather when it was a little stormy and he'd say, "The bass will be running today." He'd be out of the house at 5.30 to 6am to fish. He'd also go to the beach as the tide was going out to dig for lugworms for bait.
When we lived in Devon when I was a young teenager, he won a trophy from the local fishing club for the largest conger eel to be caught on a rod and line in the area.
Sport was his other great passion, particularly cricket. In fact, he loved it so much, he got me interested and now I follow it too. He would get so angry every time the English Cricket Team got beaten which seemed to happen a lot. I so wish he could have seen England win the Ashes in 2005. He would have been ecstatic with joy.
In the last 20 years of his life he became a keen gardener and concentrated on growing vegetables. This was great, up to a point. It wasn't so great when I visited and he had a glut of runner (stick) beans and insisted I return home with a huge carrier bag full. I hate runner beans but he'd never let me leave without them.
He once got a load of horse manure for the garden which arrived on his birthday and that pleased him more than any of the real birthday gifts he received that day.
Just Dads: Nerves of Steel, Wills of Iron, Hearts of Pudding
Amazon Price: $10.17 (as of 12/27/2009)
While mothers' devotion might get more attention, many fathers also do their fair share of raising young. "Just Dads" is a unique giftbook that combines engaging and interesting male animal parenting photographs with insightful fatherhood quotations. Along with the quotations are intriguing facts about the paternal care many species provide, including the emperor penguin father who carries the egg on his feet for three months without eating, the male marine catfish that opens his mouth when danger threatens so the youngsters can dash in to safety, and the male titis monkeys that "babysit" the young in the forest canopy, freeing up the females to travel ahead and eat their fill. The delightful images combined with the insightful quotations bring an engaging new perspective to the role of fatherhood, both animal and humankind.
My Father's New Life
My Father and his New Wife, Sylvie
If you've read my Lensography, you will know that my parents' marriage broke up. The end of the marriage was no surprise to me or my brothers. We'd always felt it was inevitable. Sylvie was the catalyst. My father met her at work and laughed and joked with her. My mother saw this and went into a jealous rage in which she tried to attack Sylvie. Remember, this was at work so nothing much was happening.That night my father didn't return after work. Later he told me that he couldn't stand the thought of another big row. After that, he never wanted to go back. I've never blamed him because I could not have stood the rows that my mother provoked or the constant nagging. He and Sylvie started a relationship which culminated in them getting married about two years later. My lovely half-sister (see picture above) was born in 1973.
By the time the baby was born, Daddy had already had a severe heart attack. He always said that if he'd still been married to my mother, he wouldn't have survived it. He then entered what I believe was the happiest period of his life.
Sylvie is a very different character to my mother. She is a calm person most of the time and took care of him without nagging. He was no longer able to work so he was home to experience his new daughter's childhood and she idolised him.
Their home was a lovely place to visit and both I and my brothers loved to go there. They obviously had such a happy marriage and loved each other. They had occasional rows but nothing major and they never lasted for long. They'd look at each other and one of them would make an insulting but humorous comment and they'd both laugh and it would be over.
Father of the Bride (15th Anniversary Edition)
Amazon Price: $16.49 (as of 12/27/2009)
You're invited to celebrate with this funnier-than-ever 15th Anniversary Special Edition of a timeless comedy. Steve Martin delivers a winning performance as George Banks, the befuddled father who has a hard time letting go of his young daughter (Kimberly Williams) when she unexpectedly announces her plans to wed. The "I do's" and don'ts of her big day prove no small feat for George as he runs into an off-the-wall wedding planner (funnyman Martin Short), his patient, level-headed wife (Diane Keaton), and hysterical hitches. You won't want to miss the never-before-seen bonus features, including behind-the-scenes interviews, commentary, and the Steve Martin & Martin Short interview -- now available to have and to hold forever!
My Father - The Joker
Daddy was an expert in the art of the 'wind-up'. This is where you tell somebody something which is untrue and then work hard to get them to believe it. I don't know if this is an exclusively English or British form of humour but it's popular here.One of his best wind-ups was in the 1980s when he and Sylvie went to their local pub where they knew a lot of people. These people were staunch Labour supporters and hated Margaret Thatcher. One evening when somebody started on a tirade against Thatcher, my father said, "You can't say that about our leader." They looked at him to see if he was joking but he'd got a completely straight face. Daddy carried on with this for quite some time while his friends were almost spitting with fury. They kept saying to Sylvie, "He's joking, isn't he? This is a wind-up, isn't it?" She tried to keep a straight face and deny any knowledge. In the end it was Sylvie who gave the game away because she burst out laughing.
Yes, it sounds odd and even a little mean but we love that kind of thing over here. People do it all the time.
In Memoriam
In August 1987 I visited my Father and Sylvie for a long weekend, arriving Friday and returning home on Monday. On the last afternoon, Sylvie and I were in the kitchen preparing dinner and Daddy was in the living room watching TV. Unusually, he came out and sat in the kitchen with us. He'd been complaining that he had a bit of a pain in his side or his back but said it wasn't bad. He sat and chatted to us instead of watching cricket which we thought was odd.The next evening, he and Sylvie sat on the settee watching Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid on television which was one of their favourite films. Daddy held Sylvie's hand throughout the movie.
He had a heart attack in the early hours of the morning and was rushed to hospital where he died. We think he knew that the end was close because his behaviour in the last two days was so out of character. He had had his 65th birthday just two months earlier and was taken too soon.
My brother phoned me at 7am in the morning with the news. He had to tell me three times because my brain refused to understand the words. In theory, we all knew he could go at any time but we weren't expecting it. I phoned Sylvie and promised I'd be there in a couple of hours. I caught the first available train and was there before lunchtime.
Sylvie was in pieces as was my sister who was just fourteen years old. My brothers and their wives came too. It was a very sad time for everyone.
The funeral was well attended and we sang Abide With Me which is traditional but also Onward Christian Soldiers, Daddy's favourite hymn, he used to love roaring it out, totally off-key, of course. My poor sister completely lost it at the interment and became pretty hysterical which was probably good for her as she'd been bottling up her emotions in the preceding days.
None of us have ever forgotten or stopped loving my father. We talk about him a lot and imagine how he would react to things that have happened. Thinking about the day he died and the weeks following can still reduce me to tears. He truly was a lovely man and we still miss him after all these years. In 2003, my sister got married and she kept saying how much she wished our father was there to give her away. She spoke about him at the wedding reception too. She didn't throw her bouquet, as is traditional, instead it was put on our father's grave as you can see in the picture below.
My Sister's Wedding Bouquet on our Father's Grave
Abide With Me
Fathers in the Movies and on TV
Father Goose
Amazon Price: $14.49 (as of 12/27/2009)
Father of the Bride 2
Amazon Price: $12.49 (as of 12/27/2009)
Father Knows Best: Season One
Amazon Price: $32.49 (as of 12/27/2009)
Life with Father
Amazon Price: $7.98 (as of 12/27/2009)
Dear Zachary:A Letter to a Son About His Father
Amazon Price: $23.49 (as of 12/27/2009)
More About Fathers
-
I love you Dad
-
Father, Dad, Daddy, Pop, Pa, Papa - many different names for many different people, but whether it is "I love you Dad", "I love you Daddy" or whatever it is your child calls you, those words will always mean so much. Any man can b...
-
Funny Dadisms - Father's Favorite Line!
-
You know your dad means the best in the world for you! I know you do! Still, it gets pretty annoying hearing same lines over and over! And man! He really loves to repeat them! I had same problem with my dad while I was growing up! From sentenc...
-
What is a Father?
-
What is a Father? What is your father to you? A father can be so many things to so many... A father is that constant in your life, always with you, even when he is not to be seen. He has been the rock that you depend on. He is solid. He is strong....
Please Give to the Stroke Network
The Stroke Network, Inc. is a registered 501(c)3 non-profit organization. They are an on-line stroke support network of stroke information. Message board and chat on-line for stroke survivor and stroke caregiver support, available to everybody, worldwide.
Like This Lens?
- Rate this lens:
- Email it
- Favorite it
- Lensroll it
Would you like to share memories of your father?
-
Reply
- ArtByLinda ArtByLinda Jun 9, 2009 @ 9:51 am
- Stajia, what a wonderful man your father was, thank you for sharing that. I know he is still with you and will always be, as my father too lives in my heart and memories.
-
Reply
- calicoskies calicoskies Jun 8, 2009 @ 10:01 am
- Thank you for this beautiful lens. Your lens brought tears to my eyes.
-
Reply
- chass071775 chass071775 Jun 7, 2009 @ 10:27 pm
- Great Lens!
-
Reply
- poddys poddys Jun 7, 2009 @ 4:11 pm
- What a very touching lens, written straight from the heart. My Dad was born in 1922 as well, I lost him almost 3 years ago. My parents divorced when I was in my teens, and my Dad would sing/play Pink/Blue Toothbrush as well. Of course Max Bygraves lived in Bournemouth where I grew up. I disliked his music when I got older, as many boys did, but more recently I enjoyed teaching the same songs to my children.
-
Reply
- Laniann Laniann Jun 7, 2009 @ 3:16 pm
- A beautifully written tribute to your father. I am sorry for your lost but you were truly loved and have some wonderful memories. 5*s
-
Reply
- Joan4 Joan4 Jun 7, 2009 @ 6:51 am
- What a beautiful tribute to your dad - and I loved him immediately! Wonderful sense of humor and that laughter is such a gift! Pink Toothbrush is one of my favorites, but that Father Papered the Parlour was a new one for me, and a total delight! Any man who can sing Pink Toothbrush and other silly songs for their kids is a hero to me! Treasure the laughter and the happy memories. Thank you for sharing your happy times! Blessed by a joyful angel. w
-
Reply
- Stazjia Stazjia Jun 7, 2009 @ 4:09 am | in reply to oneskms
- It probably was the ITV7, I don't remember now but that sounds familiar.
-
Reply
- oneskms oneskms Jun 7, 2009 @ 1:47 am
- Would the horseracing on a Saturday afternoon be the 'itv seven' - I have so many memories of sitting with my grandad and doing very similar and then my nan would sit with us when the wrestling came on, she would be 'screaming' at the tele - lol
Great tribute to your dad (daddy)
-
Reply
- JustBon-Crochet-Designs JustBon-Crochet-Designs Jun 7, 2009 @ 12:11 am
- Wonderful tribute to your father. Wonderfully written. 5*s.
-
Reply
- Ramkitten Ramkitten Jun 6, 2009 @ 8:14 pm
- I read every word. This is wonderful. I've thought of writing a lens about my own father, who died two and a half years ago, but I just can't bring myself to do it yet. I worry I won't be able to do him justice. But you certainly have for your dad.
- Load More
About Me
Lensmaster Stazjia has been a member since September 26 2006, has rated 1,432 lenses, favorited 864, and has created 129 lenses from scratch. Carol Fisher donates their royalties to Dolphin Communication Project. This member's top-ranked page is "Traditional Christmas Pudding". See all my lenses
Check out these great lenses...
-
- Art Nouveau - A Beginner's Guide
During the last quarter of the 19th century, many artists and designers were disenchanted and bored with the fussiness of art, design, style and fashion. The first revolution in style was led by the Aesthetic Movement followed by Art and Crafts. Wit... view lens -
- Traditional English Recipes
Traditional English food is often described as 'good plain cooking', particularly by the people who like it. In fact, most of us over about 30 or 40 years old have been brought up on it in the days when home-cooked meals were a regular occurrence. A... view lens -
- Angel in Disguise
How strange to become an Angel. My friends and family will laugh when I tell them as I'm sure they'll agree I'm a very unlikely candidate for Angel status - definitely an Angel in disguise. As I'm a volunteer, I can't complain t... view lens -
- St Paul's Cathedral, London
St Paul's Cathedral is one of London's most famous buildings. It may come as a surprise to learn that, although there has been a cathedral on the spot for 1700 years, the present building is only just over 300 years old. It has been used for major s... view lens -
- Gardening Jargon: What It Really Means
You hear gardeners using jargon like 'vigorous' or 'free seeding' to describe the attributes of plants but do these terms describe desirable or undesirable qualities? Should you be pleased when you read that the plants you just bought are 'strong gr... view lens
by Stazjia
I am English and I've spent the last 11 years writing freelance for UK magazines, a couple of books and online. More on my Lensography.
(more)
Explore related pages
Love Actually: A Heartwarming Movie
- Love Actually is a romantic comedy film that looks at love in all it's vario...
We Are Fathers - Dads- A lens for Fathering. Love. Determination. Dedication. Perserverence...
Don't Bite Your Tongue- Don't Bite Your Tongue, by Ruth Nemzoff, is a trailblazer for parents and their...
Timeless Toys Kids Love - What Was Your Favorite?- I think everybody has certain toys or games that the cherished as a child. Do yo...
Review of TRACK CONDITIONS (Michael Klein), "A Different Kind of Horse Story: A Million Big Stars"- Author: Michael Klein Title: Track Conditions Hardcover: 178 pages Publisher: Pe...
Families Without Fathers- Today there are more than 2 million families in the U.S. where a father has died...
