My Poems

Back in 1990
When I was only 3
God, took you away from
our family.
I miss the silly jokes
You and daddy told.
When I found out the Angels
took you to Heaven
My body felt Icy-cold
I wished I could turn back time,
I wish I could go back and STOP
The crash.
I can't help wishing.
If only I could have helped.
If only. But this is in the past.

I am a black county wench
Born and bread
A black country girl I am
I was born an bread in a black counrty
life, with me black country slang
Cor, Woe and I doe. ay is what I say.
Black Country wench I will always be.
Black Country all the way.

I would climb the highest mountain or swim the roughest sea
I would walk over hot, burning coals just to have you next to me.
I will always be your mummy,
I will always love you so
Even when you break my heart,
with sharp words that you may say
And I will promise to keep my mouth shut,
when you bring home your boyfriend
Just please promise me baby girl
You wont let them take advantage of you.
I cradled you in my arms, when you where 3days old
I cradle you when you bump your knee,
And know your growing up
I have noticed your a lot harder then me.
Your only baby 5.

little fingers move around
Sniffle, sniffles of your tiny button noes
Shhh, shhh fast a asleep so sound,
Eyes shut tight,
Its 9am day light is around.
Shhhh Shhh eyes shut tight
Then wide awake when the owls take flight.
Waaaaah Waaaaaaah
Screams of hunger fill the room,
Mummy needs some sleep little Rube.
Your to small to understand,
I know you don't mean to have so much demand.
I love you, no matter what.
I sing to you over your wooden cot.
Screams of pain from that Colic tum tum,
Oh then its time to change your bum.
Then a change from your sicky bib, I have realised just
Its all over the place.
On you baby grow, though to your vest
Oh my oh my my little pest.
The time flown by its daylight again.
All snuggly in you cot.

Eyes shut tight
Wiggly button noes,
Oh and those little tiny baby toes.
Fast a kip, you do sleep.
Hat over your eyes. My baby Rube mummy needs sleep.

All those years you led me to believe
You really loved me,
When in fact you where dangling me on a string.
''I will marry you'' you said,
''I do want a baby, just not yet''
''I will move in, when I am ready''
Oh what a fool I have been,
I knew deep down, you wouldn't
Keep your promises.
That is why I have moved on,
I finally found my prince.
6 years of heart ache,
6 years of pain and you expected me to wait.
When where you going to tell me?
That you would never set a date,
When where you going to tell me?
You wanted no more kids.
When it would be to late.
You thrown your family away,
You had us their,
Some one who really cared.
You can make accusations all you like,
I know I did my best,
I waited for you long enough
I found my man at last.
He wants marry me so much,
He lives with and your mess,
He puts up with me feeling blue,
When CSA say no.
He is there when I am sad,
When tears roll from my eyes.
My loving hubby-to-be.
Wants me to be his babies mummy.
More then you ever did.
So carry on with your dead ended games.
Carry on with your lies.
Not one tear will I shed for you.
Ever, ever again.

When ever I feel sad, or low
The Angels here, The Angels Now
They send me messages.
They send me love.
From heart to heart.
The Angels by my side.
Never apart.

When bills are high
When neighbours are mean
When I feel as if I am about to cry.
The Angels, there right by my side.

Looking out from above
Or sitting next to me giving me a hug.
When I have laying in my bed,
When I am ill they make me feel snug.
Rapped wings around me. Bound me in wool,
The Angels are there calling from above.

Welcome Jayden
To our world
Your mummy life complete
Daddy loves you so very much
And Nanny watches your sleep.
Auntie Amy cuddles you lots and I have not met you yet
Welcome Little Itsy bisty Jayden
Welcome to our world.

I dream, dreams of happiness
I dream of organic food
I dream of living in the country side
And seeing more of the sea.
How ever I am grateful,
For the tin in my cupboard.
I know I live on beans on toast,
And minestrone soup.
That's okay, as one day,
I'll have enough money to live.
A life with out the worry,
And I will work hard to tell,
People of my story
Of living out of my overdraft.
Constant war and sadness at the end,
All I wanted was a peaceful split,
Non of this silliness.
That is okay,
One day I will win this money battle.
I will work and work and work
Until the very end!