My Six

A funny little baby - and quite large in comparison to the others - he entered this world 10 days late. I was married very young, and consequently had Derek when I was very young. Completely inexperienced with absolutely no knowledge of babies or raising children, I had only my mother and mother-in-law to look to for guidance. But of course, I "knew it all" particularly with advice offered that I didn't really want to take or when I thought it was "interfering". This was MY child and MY responsibility and no one should really interfere. Should they?

Derek's dad and I were divorced when he was still very young. Although we have remained very good friends, there were a few issues between us as Derek got older when he really wanted just to be with his father. And he was - as often as possible.

Without going into masses of detail of what was often a really sad situation, Derek's father was a hands-on dad and did with Derek everything that a father and son should do. Deep sea fishing was a great favorite activity of theirs, and then onto any fishing, camping, wildlife safari and animals. Reptiles, snakes, legavon's, bearded dragons - even chameleons - anything that was not human had a place in Derek's life and his heart.

Growing up he was like any other healthy boy - mischievous, often down and out naughty - but with a love for his family and friends second to none. His sisters mean the world to him and Aiden is his little hero. He often spent time with us when Aiden was so ill - it was bittersweet watching him hold that tiny frame in his powerful arms - Derek being 6 foot 4 inches tall.

He moved on and out a few years ago, and became involved with Candice who had long been a friend of Jessie's. She is a wonderful human being and for me, as his mother, it is absolutely magnificent to see that my son is so well loved and that he too, loves in return. While giving each other space to develop and pursue their own interests, they share many activities, interests and passions. Their animals are like their children. The animals include the reptiles I mentioned earlier, their little Jack Russel, and any other creature that comes their way.

A big heart? Yes, my son is like a taxi - always room for one more.

Candice and Derek became engaged at the end of 2010 and will be getting married on 12 December 2012, a month after Derek turns 30. I feel that this union will be forever, and I wish them both all the love, prosperity, warmth and happiness in the world.

This gentle giant will fight to the bitter end for what he believes in, and protect his family with his life. A blessing I have been given - I only wish that when it was first given me, I was old enough to understand and appreciate the magnificence of having a child.

My son taught me that contrary to my own beliefs I actually did NOT know everything, I had a lot to learn and that I will never stop learning. So thank you son, it was a lesson well learned, and one which I try to pass on to your siblings. I love you!

Open Arms

The day you were born,
you touched my soul.
You were the missing link,
that made my life whole.

Those beautiful brown eyes,
stare at me in awe.
Gazing at the girl-woman
Who just became your mom.

As days turned to months,
and months turned to years.
I watched you grow,
Facing life's challenges and fighting your fears.

Now that you're grown,
you take that next step.
Those years gone by,
in my heart they're kept.

If you get lost along your way,
not sure what to do or what to say.
Know that I'm present in spirit and soul
with open arms and a hand for you always to hold.

Adapted from: Family Friend Poems

Writing this will probably break my heart, but write it I shall (^_^)...

My Jess - born Jessica Rose Davis on 27 February 1987, was a beautiful baby. Truly beautiful. Stop-you-in-the-street kind of beautiful. Born with the proverbial silver spoon in her mouth, Jess's dad and I had worked really hard to build up our property acquisition businesses, for the benefit of our child (later children). He had the gift of the gab (must have been the South London drawl :P ), the negotiating prowess and the will to prosper. I had the administration skills, determination and a hunger for knowledge. We were an exceptional team!

Life was pretty uneventful actually. Doey was born in June 1989. Derek, Jess and Doey were my appendages. We traveled a lot, mostly for business but managed to mix business with holiday. The children got to see a good piece of the world.

When they started school I insisted that they be enrolled into an exclusive girls' only school, reputed to be amongst the very best in Africa. This gave them a brilliant head start and opened them up to so many wonderful choices. I'll focus on Jess.

An "A" student from the word go, she also got involved in every single sport imaginable. She took part in gymnastics, swimming, athletics, drama, cricket, karate, dancing and excelled at every single thing she put her mind to. When she was in Standard 2 (Grade 4) she was appointed House Captain for her school team - this is normally reserved for students in Grade 7 - or prefects. It was clear by that stage that her passion was surrounding sport and activity and the academics took a back seat, although she still did exceptionally well. An extremely popular child, she was often likened to a "beautiful whirlwind" who left a trace of dizzy sunshine wherever she had been.

At the age of 12, she was appointed to the Western Province Swimming Team. This is a national South African provincial team. I seriously used to embarrass her - my enthusiasm was not overshadowed by my ability to embarrassingly shout support for my daughter during a competition. Okay, I know this must have embarrassed her - but I was so terribly proud!

Her dad passed away and so was never able to see just what she was able to achieve through sheer commitment, dedication and hard work. When our beautiful home was sold by the Executor of the Deceased Estate without my knowledge (we found out after it had happened) it did not faze her particularly that our new home would be smaller, not quite as fancy. Nor did it faze her that there was now no money for her to continue her activities. She took it in her stride and moved on and up with new activities that we could afford.

16 days after her 13th birthday she experienced something no girl, woman - no human being - should ever have to experience. Ever! It was something that changed her life as it was. All sports stopped, friends became unimportant, school became unimportant. Her choice was then to finish her years to M level (Matric in South Africa) via homeschooling and then later a College where she tutored herself at home with me and sat only for the final examinations, which she passed - completing a Law Matric.

Armed with her qualifications, she then did a few courses, got a few jobs, but was always restless. South Africa was no place for sissies, and the employment situation was worsening. Her friends had all left for other continents, and she, being British, could do the same. Roll on Dubai!

At the beginning of 2008 Jess left South Africa to start a new job, a new life, in the magnificent UAE. It was hard for her, she says, being away form her family, which she loves with a passion. The first year was hell. We did visit her in UAE and had a wonderful time - and it was there, during 2008, that I saw just how my 21 year old daughter had matured into a beautiful and independent, well-adjusted woman.

She'll never return to South Africa to live although she visits a couple of times a year. Life is good in the Emirates. She works hard, earns a good salary and is able to travel the world. She catches up at least twice a year with her South African friends who are living abroad, and returned to Dubai just last week from a meet up in Spain with all of them. She favors Thailand for a holiday and has visited there twice in 18 months. She visits England also because of her close friends, and also her cousins, aunts and uncles from both mine and her father's side are mainly located in England or Ireland. Jess is with her long time partner, David, who moved to UAE to be with her.

Jess taught me that no matter what the odds, you can and will overcome - put it behind you, build on it, and become the best person you can be. Love with everything you have and enjoy life to the fullest.

To my Jess, I love you with all my heart! You are and always have been an inspiration to me and to the many who know and love you!

Tidal Wave

A tidal wave of emotions,
have sent my soul out to sea.
Crashing currents submersing,
what once was you and me.

Drifting afar distantly,
a glimpse of precious time.
While I held you close to me,
singing your favorite rhyme.

Rocking gently back and forth,
arms encircling you whole.
Lips pressed upon sweet innocence,
your cries I did console.

Praying the Lord may keep you;
wash your troubles away.
Hoping a bond forever remains,
the same tomorrow as today.

Splashing scents of adorable purity;
upon your mother's face.
I draw you closer, your tiny being;
and even tighter I embrace.

A riptide of adornment drowns;
a tidal wave within my soul.
I once was broken and severed,
but now am completely whole.

Consumed with pure admiration,
at the woman you've become.
Beautiful imperfections,
your absence chastised me numb.

Although I know you had to,
spread those vast angelic wings.
I still can hear the laughter,
of a child's heart that proudly sings.

These crashing, violent riptides;
will soon turn a peaceful wave.
Knowing the life I gave you,
is the life in me which you did save.

This current of my heart, is perfectly;
in synch with every beat.
A perfect bond between us;
without your love, I'm incomplete.

Tidal Wave Of Emotions
A tidal wave of emotions,
have sent my soul out to sea.
Crashing currents submersing,
what once was you and me.

Drifting afar distantly,
a glimpse of precious time.
While I held you close to me,
singing your favorite rhyme.

Rocking gently back and forth,
arms encircling you whole.
Lips pressed upon sweet innocence,
your cries I did console.

Praying the Lord may keep you;
wash your troubles away.
Hoping a bond forever remains,
the same tomorrow as today.

Splashing scents of adorable purity;
upon your mother's face.
I draw you closer, your tiny being;
and even tighter I embrace.

A riptide of adornment drowns;
a tidal wave within my soul.
I once was broken and severed,
but now am completely whole.

Consumed with pure admiration,
at the woman you've become.
Beautiful imperfections,
your absence chastised me numb.

Although I know you had to,
spread those vast angelic wings.
I still can hear the laughter,
of a child's heart that proudly sings.

These crashing, violent riptides;
will soon turn a peaceful wave.
Knowing the life I gave you,
is the life in me which you did save.

This current of my heart, is perfectly;
in synch with every beat.
A perfect bond between us;
without your love, I'm incomplete.

Source: Tidal Wave Of Emotions, Mother Daughter Poems (C) Stacy Lynn Stiles

Doey, aka Donnette Jnr - a name she really doesn't love - was born Donnette Ashleigh Beatrice on 24 June 1989, 6 weeks premature. She grew up a chubby baby, beautiful to behold - cheeky in the cutest way! A mind of her own was evident from very early on in life. She was daddy's girl and could often be found with him during meetings, perched right "there". Being a small-ish town we were well known, and Doey soon became part of the environment and was quite happy to chat to anyone - and make friends with - the Police Commissioner to the cleaners in our building.

She had an exceptionally inquiring mind, and from her first days at school, being THE youngest in the school, it was evident that she was going to achieve - no matter what. Competitive to a fault, she would settle for nothing less than the very best from herself. She also was interested in sports and played cricket, did karate with us, athletics, swimming but it was clear that her focus was on academics. She was, throughout school, a straight "A" student.

After her father's death, Doey became angry and embittered. She analyzed and questioned everything and a lack of understanding and her young age meant that she needed to blame someone for what went wrong. Someone was me. I always raised my children to tell the truth, but never intentionally hurt anyone's feelings. Doey took the first part to heart hehe... she always tells the truth.

Her teenage years were spent with her in her bedroom, frantically studying, hoarding all her little cherished mementos, and knowing where each and every single thing was. Despite her desperate love for chocolate, she lost all her toddler weight and I watched as my previously chubby little child with glasses, started growing - and growing - and growing. At 6 foot in her bare feet she is a beautiful willow.

Doey loves her brothers and sisters, also with a passion second to none. While she is now living in her own apartment, and working full time she has continued her science studies through University (Correspondence) and has recently achieved distinctions (90% +) in her mid-year examinations. She manages to find time to take the children out for the day, or to spend the day at the beach with Brenden, her long-time boyfriend - or her friends, Christy and the like. They have been friends since Doey was about 5 years old. She is loyal to a fault, hysterically funny, always laughing - seriously she has the whackiest sense of humor I have EVER come across - EVER - and probably a little self-conscious. She sees Doey the chubby baby then toddler, then geeky nerd with glasses (she doesn't mind being called this BTW) - she does not see what a splendid, strong and independent woman she has become. Certainly one person whose head is NOT in the clouds! Beautiful? Oh yes! Definitely, she is gorgeous!

Doey taught me that with time, the hurt does pass - time does heal and it's what you do with that time that becomes important. Doey, you are so very, very loved!

A Poem for Doey

A poem by CandiLynn...

As another new stage in your life is beginning
You take the next step reassured.
You are moving on to the rest of your life
And your dreams are now secured.

The joys you given me are more than ten-fold
And I am so proud of you.
Though it's sad and happy to see you move on
You have a heart of gold.

I remember the first day I saw your face
And the love was so immense.
I knew that day you were a special one
And I am truly blessed.

So rest assured I tell myself
We have a special bond.
And never will that tear apart
Even after I am gone.

Soon down the aisle you will march
And the tears will well up inside
And all the love I feel for you
Surely fills me up with pride.

Aaah my little Savannah - Anna - Mannah... as Aiden has got older he's pronounced it differently... :) She was born 8 weeks premature, through an emergency C-section. Coming into this world at 1.8 kilograms and unable to breathe she spent the first few weeks of her life on respirators and as she got a little stronger, in an incubator, until she had at least regained her birth weight.

A colicky baby was Savannah, and so very tiny. She needed to be fed every 2 hours, only 30 ml at a time, so sleep was a thing of the past. Doey was a gem. Doey would literally hear Savannah's first squeak regardless of the time of night and she'd be beside my bedside sometimes before I had even mustered up the energy to open my eyes. Bath-time, feeding time, changing nappies - Doey was there every step of the way!

I was an alone parent, being married to but living apart from Savannah's father. He never had a hand in Savannah's upbringing and all things considered there has been very little contact in her (now) 13 years. It was not an easy life but it was a fulfilling life. I worked from home, exceptionally long hours. I had 4 children at home and with no financial support every single minute of the day was utilized to the fullest.

Come school-going age Savannah was enrolled into a conventional school near our home. The school was not my first choice but the best I could afford there in the northern suburbs. Well!! I'm not going to launch into an attack on the school, its employees or anything like that - my distaste at the public education system in South Africa is well documented, and the causes of my homeschooling also well known and publicized.

Being so premature Savannah has a tendency to pick up chest infections. Her lungs were not fully developed at birth and so in that area she is compromised. It is always important for me to monitor her, as a cold can quickly worsen into something a lot more serious. To cut a long story short, the school she was in was chaotic. One of the staff members allegedly raped a Grade 3 child, but was not suspended. The headmaster stood up in a parental assembly and said "He has been charged, not convicted. We will stand by our employee..." Chaos also included young children, 8, 9 years old going to school with weapons, slashing car tires, theft and intimidation was rife.

Savannah's lunch was constantly being stolen, and being in a minority group she was horribly outnumbered, so did not stand up for herself. To top it, the dragon that was called her "teacher" who was also Head of Department, had absolutely no control over the children, nor did the headmaster - nor did anyone in the school.

During one bitterly cold period in winter, Savannah returned home form school minus half her uniform, including her tracksuit jacket and jerseys. The following day I sent her to school but without her school jacket. I dressed her in a jacket of the same color - however it did not have a school badge on. Savannah was made to stand outside in the almost freezing temperature. Less than a month later she was hospitalized for pneumonia, which soon developed even more complications. It is not a pretty sight watching your child turn blue because her lungs are so badly infected that she cannot breathe.

Obviously I spent my time at the hospital with her. Once she was well enough I obtained the necessary equipment and medication and took her home where I could continue working, and also monitor her and medicate her when necessary. At a meeting I requested with the Headmaster and teacher, I informed them that Savannah was not returning, I told them why, and then also mentioned that none of them should be exposed to children - none of them were in any manner fit to be in charge of small children. I also reiterated that I was absolutely tired of the victimization of my child by "old-school" teachers who had not moved with the times, and were too terrified of the students and their parents, to actually take a stand - that they would do more good if they actually DID something - anything, rather than sit back and wait for their pensions or take a retrenchment package... The New South Africa and certain of its BEE legislation had widespread - and often devastating - effects. This was one of them.

Our homeschooling journey began - and we never looked back!

No longer fearful, nervous and jumpy, no longer scared to say she was hungry or didn't understand something. No longer being belittled or humiliated I watched as my child grew emotionally and psychologically. I watched as she embraced her new-found love of learning. She became an inspiration to me - always eager to learn, to try new things, to push the envelope. Savannah developed a hunger and a passion for reading, literature, history and learning.

She is still a rather odd little girl - little? She's just turned 13. As a small child she would often wear her older sisters' shoes to the supermarket, where the shoe was as big as her leg - or decide she wanted to wear a sari because we had learned about India - and the pink tablecloth came in handy. She is an individual, she is her own person. And still fancies herself as Aiden's mum.

Savannah has taught me a very valuable lesson, one which I sometimes tend to file away. She taught me that no matter how hard or how often someone tries to tread you down, how many obstacles they put in your way, regardless of how insulting and belittling they can be, with love, guidance, support and encouragement you can and will soar to new heights.

To my Anna, you funny little thing, you - you are my ray of sunshine - even when you're grumpy grumpleton... I love you Princess Gravy Gurl...

Precious Gift
© Sherri Lawrence
When times seem too hard to bear and I feel like giving up
I vision your beautiful face, the twinkle of your eyes and things of such
The bond we created from my womb to the day you were born
Is a mother and daughter bind that can never be torn
With the strength and guidance of God and the blessings he pours down from above
I want to be the best mom I can be to you and embrace you with all my love
You are as precious as a flower and as gorgeous as a rose
You have been specially made to the very tip of your nose
You are as sweet as honey; such an innocent young child
You are brighter than any star in the sky every time you smile
I want you to be proud of who you are and strive to be the best
Put forth your efforts to achieve your goals and let God do the rest
I will always be your mother first, but I'm also your friend
Your are the most precious gift, that I've ever been given

With All My Love,

Source: Family Friend Poems

Clarissa aka River, was brought into this world on 11 July 2000, by emergency C-section. She was 6 weeks premature but because of the really rocky pregnancy her lungs development was assisted in utero via steroid injections I received 3 times a week. She was the most beautiful little baby, who slept well from very early, and was just SO good. An angel. I tried to encourage contact between her father and River and Savannah, but he had no interest, and still has little or no contact with them - in any manner whatsoever. Notwithstanding this, we had a seriously happy family, my five children and myself. Each loved the other intensely and immensely, and the older children shared no expense at lavishing out attention on the two little girls. Derek was - and still is - madly protective of his sisters, as are Jess and Doey.

River got her name from Savannah's inability to say "Clarissa" and the name has stayed with her now.

She has just turned 11 but is still very much a little girl. Although I worked from home and was with my children all day every day, there were times when I worked too many hours, and relied on the others to keep the little ones company. River thrived in our home environment, and after Savannah started homeschooling decided she too wanted to start school. She was however not a homeschool candidate and needed interaction with more than just her cousin, Justine, and siblings. She started spending a lot of time with my sister, being only 6 months older than Justine. 6 months older, but only half the size. There was no question about who was in control of this sister-cousin relationship :)

River did homeschool for a couple of years and finally I decided, with her need to be active and on the go constantly, to enrol her into a very good village school just outside of the city. It was a very wise decision at the time. River flourished.

She loved school, loved her friends and loved being the pretty little girl who was included in everything. I was told that she was as quiet as a mouse at school. This surprised me. At home she is very chirpy, speaks a little louder than she needs to sometimes, and is always up for an extra cuddle. She also loves to help - unlike Savannah. River would LOVE to cook, as Savannah does, but she's a little untidy and enjoys the creating, not the cleaning.

River is a dear little girl, loved by everyone who knows her. It gets a little frustrating sometimes when she is sitting less than a foot away from me and I may as well be holding a conversation with her in the next room (^_^) but she has a huge heart, and is THE most sensitive and loving child I know. She has a heart the size of an ocean, and will treasure and care for even the tiniest little creature. There is more love and compassion in River's little fingernail, than in the entire bodies of some of the adults I know; more understanding than she is often given credit for; and a lively inquiring lust for life and to "make things all better".

River has taught me many lessons. The one that springs to mind instantly is that some things are not always as they appear to be. Very often we'll cover ourselves in a cloak to minimize or hide what we are really feeling, and I think this is often true of my little girl.

Reeever, you my child, are truly loved and one day you will become one of the finest women on this earth.

The Gift...
© Madi N Mikala's Mom
I received a gift on that faithful day
Of which I know I could never repay,
Just as God came down to say
He just gave one of his Angels away.

Little did I know, the test this would be
To prove to him and make him see,
That this angel was my destiny
Of that I'm sure a guarantee.

To hold her forever and never stray
To be there to comfort her pain away,
To see her through even the roughest of days
And teach her to be stronger along the way.

I was told one day, from a friend of mine
That God just gave me the gift of time!
Confused, I asked him to define?
And what he said never left my mind%u2026

He said to watch her as she sleeps
It was then it became so plain to see,
How TIME STANDS STILL when she is next to me
Whether in my arms, or in my dreams.

Now watching each day as you grow
The changing of features from head to toe,
The smiles and giggles that make you glow
And the way you let your spirit show.

So, I'll make a promise to you now
To raise you the best that I know how,
To teach you to always be confident and proud
So that you always stand out above the crowd!

Source: Family Friend Poems

The King of My Heart, Aiden, needs little or no introduction :) He was introduced to Squidoo on the eve of his 4th birthday in 2009.

There is not much I can add about his first four years of life, and in keeping with the lens I dedicated to him, I will update it shortly for his 6th birthday.

What I can say is that he continues to be the rainbow in my sky, the apple of his brother's and sisters' eyes. He continues to grow emotionally, and physically he has not faced too many challenges in the last couple of years. His immune system is still compromised, as I suspect it will always be, and I still need to watch very carefully for even a slight cold. It can and often has blown into pneumonia within days.

Living in The Wet House has taken it toll on the health of all the children. The damp and mold has managed to creep into everywhere including their chests. But other than that Aiden, healthwise, has been fantastic.

He has found a superhero in Ben10, and developed an enormous love for animals - dogs, cats, wildlife, you name it. He had recently a particular passion for one of the pythons from The Sanctuary WIldlife Care and Rehabilitation Centre - and he posed very nicely for his pictures :)

Aiden misses his older brother and sisters desperately, and is always anxious to chat to them on the phone. Quite a little helper around the house, he's keen and eager to get into the kitchen and help with the cooking, washing up - and dare I say it? He even made tea-coffee the other day. Tea-coffee is neither tea nor coffee but an accumulation of coffee granules and tea leaves from a broken tea bag. Mixed with a large helping of sugar it looks even worse than I imagine it tastes. My motto here is: At least he tried!

Aiden has no contact at all with his biological father in the US, this is a choice made by his father. His main male influences have come thus far from my own father, Derek, and my partner, Craig, who has been a part of the family for almost 8 years, long before Aiden was born.

He is enthusiastic about music, movies, running (racing), loves to play outdoors and enjoys the beach. He is a keen photographer (seriously! although some of the pictures will keep a person guessing) and still bashes away at his computer at every opportunity.

Aiden has been and continues to be one of my largest inspirations. I have learned many, often painful, lessons through this little man, and because of him. I think to try and narrow it down to just one lesson I have learned through him would be difficult, but not impossible.

Through Aiden I learned the lesson of faith. I learned to have hope. I learned to cherish every single aspect of my child's existence, and to relish at the wonder of my children.

I Hope You Know
© Rita Luna
To My Son,
I hope you know how much I love you so,
I might embarrass you from time to time
By giving lots of love and needless kisses,
But you need to know Mom loves you so,
Before you were born I didn't know
just how much I would love you so,
But when I looked into your eyes for the first time,
I felt my heart grow and grow,
A Mothers love is hard to explain,
Not everyone will feel the same,
Now that you are getting older I felt the need to tell you,
Just how much I love you so,
Time may pass day after day or year after year,
But the love I have for you grows
nearer and dearer to my heart each day and year,
To My Son I hope you know just how much I love you so.

Source: I Hope You Know, Son Poems and Stories Family Friend Poems

Would love to have you visit my lens on Aiden and get to know more about him - Thank you!

Yes, I get mad with him, with all of them, I get frustrated sometimes, I even get impatient. I am far from perfect. But even with a little frustration here and there, an itsy bitsy bit of impatience, I still idolize each and every one of my children. I have six magnificent children. I am honored to have been a part of their lives, and to have raised them all almost single-handedly. I am grateful to those people who have been positive influences in their lives. My wish for each of them is to lead content, fulfilled lives; to love without reserve; to give as freely and as often as they can; to learn to forgive regardless of the pain; to love God, and respect the earth and all of the creatures on it; to be good people, positive role models to their own children. I think that they will rise to the occasion.

I have been and am truly blessed, and want the whole world to know this!

Thank you SquidAngel betsuzie for blessing this lens
Thank you SquidAngel Darcie French for blessing this lens