My Testimony

Every year I say to myself that I will write down my testimony and share it with everyone. Each year I am always "too busy" to actually do it. Well, even though this has to be my "busiest" year yet, the Lord has asked me to do this and so I do. I want to share with each one of you, everyone that I know, how I came to know Jesus Christ as my savior and how my life has been changed because of it. I know there is someone out there who needs HIM and my hope is that this letter will help YOU to turn to HIM.

When I was in high school and college I had a pretty good life. My parents were divorced and we didn't have a lot of money but I felt very loved and had many friends. I was not brought up in a Christian home and never went to church. My grandma was really the only Christian example I had growing up. I didn't know what I was missing. No one had ever shared with me about Jesus. I knew God existed but I did not have a personal relationship with Him.

I had many boyfriends and at college I was really popular, however something was always missing in my life. I looked to boys and parties and friends to fill that void but they didn't. I was going out at least 4 times a week and drinking and partying with my friends. I always had a boyfriend but never really trusted any of them because from my experience, men couldn't be trusted.ever.

One night at a party, I met this boy who I just knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Our relationship began very quickly and was somewhat like a roller coaster. After only 3 months of dating I discovered I was pregnant. You cannot imagine my surprise and my fear and how unbelievably alone I felt in the world. I was still in college and this was not part of my plan. I was not married and I felt so ashamed. I was physically sick at the thought of going home to tell my mom. The boy and I broke up neither one of us could really handle the magnitude of this. I went home for Thanksgiving break. I was trembling when I had to tell my mom. It was one of the worst moments in my life. We cried together and even though she held me in her arms, I was alone. I thought about possibly giving this baby away for adoption. I called an abortion clinic and made an appointment to go in. In my heart I knew that this was not what I should do but I felt as though I had no other way out.

That night, in my childhood bedroom, I fell to my knees and began to pray. I had never really prayed before and wasn't sure what to say or how to do it. I only knew that God was there and since I was completely at the lowest point in my life and had no where to turn I would turn to Him. I prayed all night and although it still shames me to say this, I asked God to take that baby away from me because I was so selfish and I wanted a way "out". I prayed and prayed and wept.

The very next day we traveled to Ohio for Thanksgiving at my aunt's house. By that evening I was in the emergency room bleeding all over the floor because I was having a miscarriage. I weep as I write this and tell you that this is one prayer that I wish I had never prayed. However I was not yet a Christian and I was so selfish that I couldn't imagine my life with a child and as an unwed mother. I also didn't want the decision of having an abortion to fall on me. So, God took care of it and He took that baby just like I had prayed for. I will never forget standing in that emergency room with just a smock on because everyone was outside the room and the next second the floor was covered in blood. I will never forget the doctors as they removed the miscarried baby from me saying "there "it" is". This pain and hurt and shame is something I will carry with me forever. But I had prayed and God had answered that prayer. And it was because of this baby that I became a Christian and my life has been changed forever.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong

It took me a little while to get past the hurt and anger with myself. To get over the shock and disappointment and sadly the relief. I began to think more about God. I began to see my life in a different way. I grew up a lot. That roller coaster boy that I had been with grew as well. We got back together. Two weeks before we were to be married, I gave my heart to Jesus and was baptized. I had to give my heart to Jesus before I could give it to this boy. We were married. We had a beautiful baby girl. He became a man and I grew into a woman of God, no longer a child. We lost another baby. We had a beautiful baby boy. We lost another baby. We had a beautiful baby girl. We adopted another beautiful baby girl.

I had an epiphany that stopped me while I was driving a couple of months ago and I had to pull over as I sobbed. That God had changed me from being a selfish girl who almost gave a baby up for adoption or worse, aborted it to being a mother who was able to adopt a baby from a girl who felt the same as I had. THAT is the POWER of the LORD.

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful."
Revelation 22:4-5

I thank God for that little baby that was taken from me. It was that sacrifice that caused me to look up instead of in the mirror every day. Because that baby died, I chose to live for Christ. It still hurts but God has taken care of me and of the pain that I felt. I am still ashamed at how selfish I was but the Lord has helped me to grow because of it. It was the sacrifice of the baby that caused me to become a Christian, it was the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ that gives me new and eternal life.

My life is BLESSED and I am happier now than I have ever been and it is all because of my savior. I am not saying there aren't bad days or that my life is free from tragedy, no one's is. But thankfully I have the Lord to lean on in those times. He is my rock, my strength when I am too weak to go on. He loves me with a love like no other and as long as I put Him first, I know that my life will be okay.

If you are going through a hard time right now, if you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, please turn to God and let Him hold you and be your strength. Pray for His will to be done in your life. If you are hurting or scared or in a time of trouble or sorrow, pray to Him to soften your pain. If your life is perfect and you don't have God, your life isn't perfect! Pray for Him to come into your life and change your heart. I can tell you that the more I draw near to Him, the less I care about the things of this world. The more I read the news and hear about what is going on around us, the more thankful I am that this world is not the "end" for me.that I am going to live eternally in a much better place, with no pain, no sorrow, no hurt, no anger.

You see, Almighty God loves you so much that He made a way for you to have a special relationship with Him while you are here on the earth, and a way for you to spend eternity with Him when you pass on from this life. He sent Jesus Christ to take upon Himself the sin of mankind and die in our place as our substitute, paying the penalty for that sin, so that we could experience salvation and be set free from the bondage of sin and escape the penalty - eternal separation from God. The Bible says in John 3:3, "unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."
Salvation does not come by joining a church, following a certain religion, doing good deeds, or even by living a good moral life, no matter how admirable these may seem to be. The Bible tells us there is only one way to receive salvation. You must be born again by accepting Jesus Christ into your heart as your Lord and Savior. Jesus said in John 14:6; "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."
If you are sensing the need to receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, here is a constructed prayer for you to pray that will lead you to the Lord, so you can receive this free gift of grace and be born-again. Do not put this off! Now is the appointed time for your salvation, and it is, without a doubt, the most important decision you will ever make.
The Lord Jesus Christ has a wonderful plan in store for your life. He can and will help to bring order and meaning to your life and give you the sense of completeness that can only come through knowing Him. Are you ready? He's waiting for you!
Pray the following prayer and receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior!

Dear Heavenly Father,
I recognize that I am in need of salvation because Your Word tells me that, "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23)
You said in Your Word, "if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9)
I believe in my heart that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and I believe that He is Lord.
I believe that Jesus went to the cross and paid the price for my sin through His death.
I believe that Jesus was raised from the dead so that I could experience newness of life and be right with Him.
Your Word says; "For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." (Romans 10:10)
I do believe with my heart, and I now confess with my mouth that Jesus Christ is now my Lord and Savior. Therefore, according to the Word of God, I am saved and I am now a child of God!
Lord, please fill me with your precious Holy Spirit and empower me to live this new life in Christ Jesus. (Acts 1:8)
Thank you Lord, and I pray this in the Name of Jesus - Amen! (John 14:13)

If I have offended anyone or alienated anyone on my Christmas card list it was completely worth it to tell you my story. During this time as we celebrate the birth of Christ, I wish for each and every one of you the peace and love that I feel in knowing God. If you would like to talk more about this or if you have prayed this prayer please send me an email and let me know so that I can pray for you! Irvineva@verizon.net

Merry Christmas!

Sunshine Irvine