CHALLENGE OF MILITARY MARRIAGE

Being a member of the military is hard on relationships. Separation is part of the job, sometimes it is just exercises, at other times it is deployment to a war zone on the other side of the world. How you communicate during those times and how you cope with the natural loneliness that results will have a big impact on the health of the relationship.

The key to a successful deployment is good preparation, working out in advance how and when you will make contact. This is particularly important when there are children involved, who NEED to see Dad, not just hear a voice on the phone. You both need to have realistic expectations, there will be times when the plans don't come together, when flights will be postponed and leave cancelled, that too is part of military service.

No matter the state of a relationship, we can always work on it, continually looking for ways to improve it and making it more fun and more exciting.

Winston Churchill once said "Out of great complexities intense simplicities emerge". Relationships are complex, it is easy to feel overwhelmed but for starters here are six simple things we can ALL do that will make a difference.

BE YOURSELF! We all want people to like us, especially those we live with, so we often try to cover up the real "me". You cannot build a relationship on lies so the first step is to accept yourself and be yourself.

BE FAITHFUL! In a rapidly changing society we all need security. If you cannot trust your partner then one of the foundations of your relationships is missing.

BE A LEARNER! Our lives should be a continual learning experience, not just in terms of our vocation but also in terms of family relationships. Often as adults we forget how hard learning is, we prefer to just stay where we are comfortable. Get out of the rut and learn something new with your partner.

BE REASONABLE! Family life is never just plain sailing, it is a continual test of wisdom and patience. Next time stress invades your family, take the time to be reasonable and ask yourself "Is this issue really worth arguing about?" Be reasonable, don't let the urgent squeeze out the important. A reasonable approach seeks to get the whole picture, accept compromises and new answers to old problems.

BE READY TO LAUGH! Humour is one of the best lubricants to quieten friction with the family. Don't take yourself so seriously, learn to laugh and you will find that it is not just good medicine, it is essential to family harmony. We need to relax and play together as families.

BE THANKFUL! Don't take your family for granted, be thankful for them, value them. When was the last time you expressed thanks to your partner for doing all those little things that you just expect?

That is just the tip of the iceberg! Marriage is so important, enough to keep working on it, rekindling the love that is there. Unlocking The Secret of Marriage will take you even further. Isn't your marriage worth that?

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