WELCOME TO NAUGHTY-SOUNDING WORDS THAT REALLY AREN'T BAD
The English language is full of colorful words that may sound a bit suggestive, but in actual fact are really quite harmless.
This lighthearted lens is committed to preserving these promiscuous-sounding pieces of prose and using them on the odd occasion just for fun! Perhaps this treasury of titillation will whet your appetite for wantonly wayward if not wicked-sounding words!
WHAT A WORD!
NAUGHTY-SOUNDING WORDS BUT NICE IMAGES
Titmouse
Poop Deck
Blue-Footed Booby
Fuzzy Navel Cocktail?
Kumquat
Mastication!
Bathtub gin!
"A" IS FOR ASSUMPSIT
A is for ASSUMPSIT. C'mon now, do your really think it's just another way of saying "butt-crack"? Actually, it's an action for the recovery of damages by reason of the breach or non-performance of a simple contract, either expressed or implied, and whether made orally or in writing.
Example of use in a letter of complaint: "Unless I receive compensation forthwith for the loss of my expensive posh purple and neon green striped wig left behind in my scented blue suede duffle bag on a hatrack in the penthouse of the Colorado Belle Hotel & Casino following my puppet performance on April 1, 2008 (which by the way, you promised to return to me by courier), I shall be obliged to take assumpsit action immediately."
Example of use in a letter of complaint: "Unless I receive compensation forthwith for the loss of my expensive posh purple and neon green striped wig left behind in my scented blue suede duffle bag on a hatrack in the penthouse of the Colorado Belle Hotel & Casino following my puppet performance on April 1, 2008 (which by the way, you promised to return to me by courier), I shall be obliged to take assumpsit action immediately."
'B" IS FOR BUMBO
B is for BUMBO. No, it's not a naughty word for a "padded posterior"! It's a delicious punch made by combining rum, sugar, nutmeg, and water; a name borrowed from the Italian word that children use for drink.
Example of use at a "Christmas in July" party: "Forget the brewskie, I think I'll have a bumbo with my barbecued burger."
Example of use at a "Christmas in July" party: "Forget the brewskie, I think I'll have a bumbo with my barbecued burger."
"C" IS FOR COCKAIGNE
C is for COCKAIGNE. Good gawd you're thinking, this must have something to do with roosters. Well, it might be if you live in a barn yard, but more likely it has everything to do with a 13th century French expression for an imaginary place of ease (no I'm not talking about the loo). This "land of plenty" is the equivalent of Big Rock Candy Mountain, Shangri-la, or Nirvana...where everything is hunky-dory, sweet, and utterly loverly!
Example of use while sitting on the knee of Santa Claus: "Look, all I want for Christmas is a one-way ticket to Cockaigne if that's not too much to ask!."
Example of use while sitting on the knee of Santa Claus: "Look, all I want for Christmas is a one-way ticket to Cockaigne if that's not too much to ask!."
"D" IS FOR DOLLY VARDEN
D is for DOLLY VARDEN. Now you might be inclined to think it's a buzz word for a well-proportioned wench with great windpipes, but you'd be dead wrong! It's a large char or trout (Salvelinus malma) to be exact, that more often than not can be found having a 'whale of a time' in the streams of western North America and Japan.
Example of use as an ice-breaker: "My father always told me, 'Never fish off the corporate dock unless you have a taste for Dolly Varden'!"
Example of use as an ice-breaker: "My father always told me, 'Never fish off the corporate dock unless you have a taste for Dolly Varden'!"
"F" IS FOR FUZZING
F is for FUZZING. No, it's not an impolite term for the police nor has it anything to do with making a cocktail with peach schnapps, vodka and orange juice. It is a verb meaning to shuffle a deck of cards with extreme care.
Example of use while playing a game of poker: "I have a fondness for fuzzing, what about you?"
Example of use while playing a game of poker: "I have a fondness for fuzzing, what about you?"
"G" IS FOR GLOP
G is for GLOP. Now you may be inclined to think that "glop" is something unappetizing that you leave behind on a plate, but not quite close enough to win the blue ribbon. Actually its an old English verb meaning to swallow greedily, to stare at in wonder or in alarm.
Example of use while window-shopping for beach attire: "Excuse me, can you tell me why all the mannequins in this mall have that glop look on their faces?"
Example of use while window-shopping for beach attire: "Excuse me, can you tell me why all the mannequins in this mall have that glop look on their faces?"
"H" IS FOR HUCKLE MY BUFF
H is for HUCKLE MY BUFF. Now there's a mirthful mouthful if ever there was one. It has nothing to do with a discrete invitation to attend a toga party but everything to do with a hot beer, egg, and brandy beverage.
Example of use while skating on thin ice with one's boss: "Believe me, another Huckle My Buff and you won't feel a thing!"
Example of use while skating on thin ice with one's boss: "Believe me, another Huckle My Buff and you won't feel a thing!"
"L" IS FOR LIGUSTRUM VULGARE
L is for LIGUSTRUM VULGARE. Perhaps you're thinking...this is a polite term for a "Latin lush"...close but no cigar! Actually, its the scientific name for a hardy bush called a "European Privet", (shame on you for thinking it's a euphemism for a continental can as the Americans might say, or a lovely little loo as the Brits might say).
Example of use during a lull in the conversation at a summer garden party: "Want to play hide and seek in the ligustrum vulgare?
Example of use during a lull in the conversation at a summer garden party: "Want to play hide and seek in the ligustrum vulgare?
"M" is for MUCKENDER
M is for MUCKENDER. Not an impolite reference to a "dirty rotten scoundrel", this winsome word has more in common with a bib or handkerchief (something which appears to be in rather short supply today at formal dinner parties).
Example of use when dining with celebrities or politicians: "I'm glad I brought along my muckender to cope with those frog legs and lobster tails."
Example of use when dining with celebrities or politicians: "I'm glad I brought along my muckender to cope with those frog legs and lobster tails."
"N" is for NUDE CONTRACT (NUDUM PACTUM)
N is for NUDE CONTRACT (NUDUM PACTUM). One might venture to suggest that it might a bottom line deal, a contract written in invisible ink, or the birthday suit clause in a legal agreement that conceals nothing but the naked truth.
The fact of the matter is that a "nudum pactum" is any verbal or written agreement that is non-binding and may be avoided, or an agreement that is not executed by one of the parties to it.
Example of use: "Would you like my John Henry on your Nudum Pactum?"
The fact of the matter is that a "nudum pactum" is any verbal or written agreement that is non-binding and may be avoided, or an agreement that is not executed by one of the parties to it.
Example of use: "Would you like my John Henry on your Nudum Pactum?"
"P" IS FOR PIS ALLER
P is for PIS ALLER. Now this might sound like a reference to a walk-in whizzer, better known as a urinal, but this would be just a tad off the mark. It is a 17th French noun meaning to "go worst" i.e. expedient, last resort; something done or accepted for lack of anything better; less desirable alternative.
Example of use during a Power Point corporate presentation: "I prefer to call it the "pis aller" option rather than proverbial Plan B!"
Example of use during a Power Point corporate presentation: "I prefer to call it the "pis aller" option rather than proverbial Plan B!"
"Q" IS FOR QUEER BUNG
Q is for QUEER BUNG. Tsk, tsk, this has is not a politically-incorrect term for an exotic form of excrement! Rather, it's an 18th century term meaning an empty purse.
Example of use whilst standing in front of a grocery supermarket cashier (with a decidedly exasperated look on one's face): "Look, I know it's hard to believe this but ...I left home with a queer bung and no credit card ...so can I just take a rain-check on all this stuff?"
Example of use whilst standing in front of a grocery supermarket cashier (with a decidedly exasperated look on one's face): "Look, I know it's hard to believe this but ...I left home with a queer bung and no credit card ...so can I just take a rain-check on all this stuff?"
"S" IS FOR STINKING HELLEBORE
S is for STINKING HELLEBORE or SETTERWORT for short. Now one might be inclined to think that these wicked words are but an entertaining epithet referring to a pathetically putrid pest from perdition, but that might be a tad off the mark. This colorful combination of words has more in common with a perennial frost-resistant flowering plant found in Europe grown for decorative and medicinal purposes, and, on the odd occasion, it is employed by witches for who knows what.
Example of use while visiting a flower shop: "Do you have any "Venus Fly Trap" or Stinking Hellebore I can send to my Aunt Brunhilda in Pratts Bottom, Kent for her smelling cheat? [an 18th slang term for a garden]"
Example of use while visiting a flower shop: "Do you have any "Venus Fly Trap" or Stinking Hellebore I can send to my Aunt Brunhilda in Pratts Bottom, Kent for her smelling cheat? [an 18th slang term for a garden]"
"T" IS FOR TITIVIL
T is for TITIVIL. No, it's not a euphemism for a lady's cleavage! Rather, this charming little word that rolls off the tip of the tongue is the name for the devil. More to the point, it is the mischiefmaker who steals words dropped during the recitation of a services so the name can be used later against the offender; a knave or a tattler.
Example of use during a communication skills workshop: "I found the Titival technique to be far more effective than Teflon to deflect unwarranted criticism."
Example of use during a communication skills workshop: "I found the Titival technique to be far more effective than Teflon to deflect unwarranted criticism."
"V" IS FOR VIEW HALLOO
V is for VIEW HALLOO. An "Olde English" interjection, it is neither descriptive of a gust wind lifting the skirt of a young lady, nor is referring to the untimely breakage of a bra strap exposing the bosom of a female rock-star during a televised "Super Bowl" game. It is more likely to be a hunter's cry during a fox hunt to signal that the animal has been seen breaking cover.
Example of use while visiting a petting zoo on a blind date: "View Halloo ... by any chance are you "Foxy Lady" from the Furry Friends Internet Chat Room?"
Example of use while visiting a petting zoo on a blind date: "View Halloo ... by any chance are you "Foxy Lady" from the Furry Friends Internet Chat Room?"
"W" IS FOR WRAP RASCAL
W is for WRAP RASCAL, which is not a pejorative term for a politician with a penchant for peccadillos. It is an 18th century term meaning a red cloak.
Example of use at an office party: "I could have sworn I saw someone running by wearing tinted goggles, a wrap rascal and carrying a briefcase...who was it?"
Example of use at an office party: "I could have sworn I saw someone running by wearing tinted goggles, a wrap rascal and carrying a briefcase...who was it?"
PEOPLE WHO KNOW EVERYTHING POLL
Loading poll. Please Wait...
WHOOPS & WHOOPY WORDS
100 Words to Make You Sound Great (100 Words)
For those who need to leave a lasting impression!
Amazon Price: $4.73 (as of 10/12/2008)
The Right Word in the Right Place at the Right Time: Wit and Wisdom from the Popular Language Column in the New York Times Magazine
The cure for those with the nasty habit of putting a foot in their own or someone else's mouth.
Amazon Price: $17.82 (as of 10/12/2008)
Poplollies & Bellibones: A Celebration of LostWords Along with Tenderfeet and Ladyfingers: A Compendi of Body Language
For those who think Tenderfeet and Ladyfingers are a titillating toothy concoction of naughty notions.
Amazon Price: (as of 10/12/2008)
Oxymoronica: Paradoxical Wit & Wisdom From History's Greatest Wordsmiths
For those who adore absurdity, wit, and wisdom...this book is sure to please!
Amazon Price: $10.17 (as of 10/12/2008)
BATTY BOOKMARKS FOR BEMUSED BOOKWORMS
GIGGLES FROM THE GUESTBOOK
Feel free to add your own contributions to the lexicon of lusty-sounding words that are harmless to one's health.
|
tandemonimom
Wow, lots of terms I had not come across; that doesn't happen to me very often! Thanks for an entertaining AND informative lens - the very best kind! 5 stars Posted August 14, 2008 |
|
Caseyfern
hehehe - once again you nailed it - and welcome to Warrior Women! Posted June 20, 2008 |
