Newborn checklist : All you need to know about newborn babies

In my opinion,every mother should AT LEAST try breastfeeding (unless there is a serious medical condition that prevents her from doing so).
Yes, I said it. Seriously, I cannot stand those mothers who would not breastfeed because it is inconvenient or time-consuming or any other rubbish execuse.

Believe me, I, myself,did not have it easy. My daughter was born by emergency C-section and I was drugged up to my neck for the next week in the hospital. There was no bonding, she was formula-fed for the first 3 days. We had it rough. No matter what I did she just would not latch on. I was ready to give up but I didn't it. It took a lot of tears,sweat and frustration but it paid off. Best decision I ever made!

For all those struggling right now or just wanting some advice and reassurance, and of course mums to be, please visit the BESTEST resources dedicated to BF:

www.kellymom.com -MY BIBLE!!!
La Leche League

Also, remember there are trained professionals out there (lactation consultants, breastfeeding cafes, etc).

ASK FOR HELP if needed!!!

Breast is best!

Read these if you are unsure:

American Academy of Pediatrics Policy Statement: Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk
Outcomes of BF vs Formula Feeding (taken from LLL league)
How Breast Milk Protects Newborns
Breast or Bottle?
How breastfeeding makes life easier for mom
Financial costs of not breastfeeding

How often

You CAN'T nurse too often--you CAN nurse too little!!!

Human milk digests very quickly (within 90 minutes of the last feeding). Do not time, do not follow schedules but look out for signs that your baby is hungry, such as the rooting reflex, chewing/sucking on hands or fingers, or crying. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, crying is a very late cue that your baby is hungry.

You will surprise yourself at how quickly you will learn to read your baby's cues.

In the first few weeks, your baby needs to breastfeed ten to twelve times per day. Your baby's feedings will gradually space out as he grows older and his stomach grows larger. Any schedule that prevents babies under six weeks of age from breastfeeding at least every two to three hours (or less during growth spurts!) could cause poor weight gain and mess up your milk supply. The more you feed, the quicker the milk gets produced. Restricting the amount of time at the breast and extending the time between feedings can reduce not only your milk supply, but also the fat content of your milk.

Visit Kellymom to find out:

Nursing your newborn - what to expect in the early weeks
How does milk production work?
Latching and Positioning Resources
Is Baby Getting Enough Milk?

Common concerns in the early weeks ( Including nursing after C section, engorgement,nipple shields,etc).

Pumping and Bottle-feeding
Also, Kellymom has an invaluable forum and great section there on pumping

One more thing, do not be surprised if you baby wants to breastfeed ALL the time.That happened to me. My daughter just would not let go. I could not shower,go toilet or anything else for that matter. Going out was hell! Even going to in-laws was traumatic because they would comment,and roll their eyes,etc.

Cluster feeding is perfectly NORMAL! also see the growth section below.

If you are pumping and using the bottles, please note that not all the bottles on the market are BPA-free. I went through dozens and stopped on Medela and Tommee Tippee.

Co-sleeping

We brought our baby to our bed almost from the day 1. It kinda happened..:) She was so tiny and looked really lost in her crib. Plus, she cried everytime I took her off the breast. It would take me hours to settle her down but 10-15 mins later she would wake and start screaming all over again. I was exhausted.I would sit up in bed and feed her and she would fall asleep on my boob most of the times. Sometimes I would drift off too, and that horrified me! So we started putting her in between. I don't know whether it was our smell, warmth or what, but it worked! Few days later I mastered feeding her while lying down on my side and that was amazing.

If co-sleeping is for you,here is some info on ways and safety:
Tools you can use: Checklist for safe cosleeping
SAFE CO-SLEEPING HABITS EVERY PARENT SHOULD KNOW: DO'S AND DON'TS

Is she sleeping through the night yet?

I swear I could kill everytime I was asked this question. And prepare yourself - you will be asked A LOT! As if sleeping through the night is some kind of sign of good parenting skills or something. What's the big deal, obviously apart from mother having longer stretches at night? Some babies start sleeping through earlier than others. In my experience, nursing babies tend to wake up a lot during the night to have a sip (thirsty, hungry or simply for comfort).

Controlled crying,crying-it-out (CIO)

I am sorry,but no freaking way. Totally goes against all my human and motherly instincts. I would not let a grown up cry without consoling, let alone a baby. Even the term itself -controlled crying- sounds somewhat strange.Yes, there were times when I felt like I was loosing my mind, to the point of desperation,anxiety and anger (thank God, my hubby is very hands on and supportive) but never in a million years I would let my baby just lie there and sob. When nothing semed to work, I still held her very close and she cried in my arms.
Some argue till they are blue in the face, about so called benefits of CIO. I, on the other hand,have found a lot of negativities (just to get some peeps of my back :))

CIO? No! The case for not using "cry-it-out" with your children

Children Need Touching and Attention, Harvard Researchers Say

The Con of Controlled Crying

At the end of the day it is your choice,But before you use this so called method, think twice. Are you under pressure from your partner,friends of family? Does it feel wrong? Does your baby really need to learn to be "independent" so soon?

Dr Sears has some good advice on sleep on his website:
31 WAYS TO GET YOUR BABY TO GO TO SLEEP AND STAY ASLEEP EASIER

Babywearing is the practice of wearing or carrying a child in a sling or other form of carrier. It has been practised for centuries around the world.
It is so much more than merely convenient way of carrying your child.

THE BENEFITS OF BABYWEARING (for more details visit Dr Sears )

Sling babies cry less

In Western culture we measure a baby's crying in hours, but in other cultures, crying is measured in minutes. We have been led to believe that it is "normal" for babies to cry a lot, but in other cultures this is not accepted as the norm. In these cultures, babies are normally "up" in arms and are put down only to sleep - next to the mother. When the parent must attend to her own needs, the baby is in someone else's arms.

Sling babies learn more

If infants spend less time crying and fussing, what do they do with the free time? They learn! Sling babies spend more time in the state of quiet alertness . This is the behavioral state in which an infant is most content and best able to interact with his environment. It may be called the optimal state of learning for a baby. Researchers have also reported that carried babies show enhanced visual and auditory alertness.

Sling babies are more organized

Sling babies get "humanized" earlier

Another reason that babywearing enhances learning is that baby is intimately involved in the caregiver's world. Baby sees what mother or father sees, hears what they hear, and in some ways feels what they feel. Carried babies become more aware of their parents' faces, walking rhythms, and scents. Baby becomes aware of, and learns from, all the subtle facial expressions, body language, voice inflections and tones, breathing patterns, and emotions of the caregiver. A parent will relate to the baby a lot more often, because baby is sitting right under her nose. Proximity increases interaction, and baby can constantly be learning how to be human. Carried babies are intimately involved in their parents' world because they participate in what mother and father are doing. A baby worn while a parent washes dishes, for example, hears, smells, sees, and experiences in depth the adult world. He is more exposed to and involved in what is going on around him. Baby learns much in the arms of a busy person.

Sling babies are smarter

Environmental experiences stimulate nerves to branch out and connect with other nerves, which helps the brain grow and develop. Babywearing helps the infant's developing brain make the right connections. Because baby is intimately involved in the mother and father's world, she is exposed to, and participates in, the environmental stimuli that mother selects and is protected from those stimuli that bombard or overload her developing nervous system. She so intimately participates in what mother is doing that her developing brain stores a myriad of experiences, called patterns of behavior. These experiences can be thought of as thousands of tiny short-run movies that are filed in the infant's neurological library to be rerun when baby is exposed to a similar situation that reminds her of the making of the original "movie." For example, mothers often tell me, "As soon as I pick up the sling and put it on, my baby lights up and raises his arms as if in anticipation that he will soon be in my arms and in my world."

Slings, wraps & other baby car
riers -- Why, How & Where?

Slings,carriers,wraps can be quite expensive.Do your research. I must say it took me few buys to choose the most suitable baby carrier for me. Saying that, as my baby grew or season changed my preferences kept changing.Also, my hubby and I always use different ones and can never agree on which is best.

I also love my HAVA sling.It has a zippered pocket in the tail and light rail padding. It is very comfortable and PRETTY :)

Don't you hate when some people are commenting on how their babies never cried and yours seems to scream on top of his lungs all day long? Let's get real, all babies cry or fuss, especially newborns. It's the only way they know how to communicate their needs,fears,etc to us.

When my baby was crying (which seemed to be happening all the time for the first few weeks :)) , I would first check on the obvious :

1. Is it hunger?
2. Dirty diaper?
3. Hot or cold?
4. Tired,scared or in need of a cuddle?

All I could recommend is to attend to each cry and be patient and nurturing,Eventually you WILL know what each cry can be about.You will become an expert at understanding your baby's cues.

Do not listen to silly people telling you how your baby will never learn to settle on her own or even worse will learn to manipulate you.They are BABIES and they rely on us! I will never forget when my baby cried in the hospital and I (unable to move staright after C section and tonne of drugs) asked the nurse to attend to her.Her response was "You don't want to be picking her up each time she cries otherwise she will learn how to manipulate you". It was the most evil thing I've ever heard!

Here what Dr Sears has to say on the subject:

"Up until that time parents had been led to believe that if they picked up their baby every time she cried she would never learn to settle herself and would become more demanding. Bell and Ainsworth's research showed the opposite. Babies who developed a secure attachment and had their cues responded to in a prompt and nurturing way became less clingy and demanding. More studies were done to shoot down the spoiling theory, showing that babies whose cries were not promptly responded to begin to cry more, longer, and in a more disturbing way. In one study comparing two groups of crying babies, one group of infants received an immediate, nurturant response to their cries, while the other group was left to cry-it-out. The babies whose cries were sensitively attended to cried seventy percent less. The babies in the cry-it-out group, on the other hand, did not decrease their crying. In essence, crying research has shown that babies whose cries were listened and responded to learned to "cry better"; the infants who were the product of a more restrained style of parenting learned to "cry harder." It is interesting that the studies revealed differences not only in how the babies communicated with the parents based on the response they got to their cries, but there were also differences in the mothers, too. Studies showed that mothers who gave a more restrained and less nurturant response gradually became more insensitive to their baby's cries, and this insensitivity carried over to other aspects of their parent-child relationship. Research showed that leaving baby to cry-it- out spoils the whole family..."

Crying is NOT good for baby's lungs!!!

My father-in-law told me once how it was good for babies to cry and clear their lungs... Old wives tale. Absolutely ridiculous.

Research has showed that babies who were left to cry had heart rates that reached worrisome levels, and lowered oxygen levels in their blood. When these infants' cries were soothed, their cardiovascular system rapidly returned to normal, showing how quickly babies recognize the status of well being on a physiologic level. When a baby's cries are not soothed, he remains in physiologic as well as psychological distress.

Please see more on crying in the Sleeping section.

Dr Sears on crying and fussiness
11 Ways to Soothe a Fussy Baby
A Checklist of 36 Time-Tested Baby Calmers
3 Reasons Why Babies Fuss
7 Things Parents Should Know About Baby's Cries
Letting Baby "Cry-it-out" Yes, No!
4 Ways to Teach Baby to "Cry Better"
The Shutdown Syndrome
Comforting the Gassy Baby
8 Dance Steps to comfort baby
6 Ways to Make Baby Dancing Fun

Average Weight Gain for Breastfed Babies - Kellymom gives all the info needed!

Growth Spurts

Babies grow in spurts rather than at a steady rate. They usually occur during the first few days at home and around 7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months and 9 months, and normally last around 3 days.During that time breastfed babies are fussier than usual and do not let go of the breast!

My daughter was born 5lb. The next 8 weeks was one very long growth spurt!She was on the breast like 24-7. Although it seemed like a total nightmare at that time, I actually miss those days!

At 4 months her weight gain slowed down,big time. I was under so much pressure from health visitors,etc. But I knew it was completely NORMAL for breastfed babies.



I did buy baby scales for my peace of mind.

Babies (especially newborns) do not need bathing everday! It's mainly for fun :). Also, I found it helped me to establish a bedtime routine to help my baby to wind down.
They gave my daughter a sponge bath once in the hospital during our week long stay. Once we got home I gave her sponge baths every now and then until I got confident enough to use a baby tub.

Dr Sears gives good info and advice on Bathing babies

I think we used the tub for like 3 weeks and then we started bathing together. It was lovely! A bit scary at first but once you get the hang of it you'll never go back. Plus, skin-to-skin contact in a warm bath helps a lot for breastfeeding.You definitely need 2 people there if you decide to bath together.Normally, i take a quick shower and then take her in.Make sure the temperature is right (36-37.5°C) beforehand! My hubby sits next to us with a towel.

At 10 months, I bought the duck tub! It's awesome! Safe and so much fun!

Ok, you can gather that I am all for gentle parenting, reading and following baby cues, breastfeeding, babywearing,etc. Well, apparently this is called "Attachment Parenting". I only discovered that while reading some threads on Kellymom Forum. It has its challenging sides but it's definitely worth it.

Don't worry if you can't seem to guess what your baby wants. First few weeks are hard. Just be patient and persevere. I remember my daughter was very fussy but I never gave up.After few weeks,she stopped crying. Everytime she would get upset, I would quickly act.By that point I pretty much new when she was hungry, lonely,etc.

Please,do not worry about spoiling your baby. Ask yourself, how on earth can an infant be spoiled or manipulative? All they what is their mummies (and daddies) and to feel secure. It's a big and scary world they enter and it's our job as parents to make them feel safe.

I like the expression I read on Kellymom.com -

When we are giving to our children out of love and enjoyment,then it is a positive...When we are giving to them because they have worn us down or we feel guilty,then it is a negative (spoiling)

So love your baby, take care of your baby, cuddle your baby and follow his cues.

Attachement resources: sites and books

Attachment Parenting International
ATTACHMENT PARENTING-Dr Sears