Do Nice Guys Finish Last

Yes there is a difference. I am going to use a bar scene and buying drinks to get my point across. The nice guy buys a girl a drink in hopes of getting her attention. When he doesn't get her attention, he gets an attitude. He goes into the song and dance of what a nice guy he is and how women don't like nice guys, they only like guys that treat them like crap.

The good guy buys a girl a drink and understands this does not mean he will get her attention, not does he expect it to. He does it because that is what guys often do and he knows that women are used to this and he accepts it. He doesn't turn and cast judgment on her for accepting.

We women often get attitudes when men buy us drinks. There is a reason for this. We have had too many nice guys buy us a drink and turn around and get an attitude on us when we didn't ask for the drink in the first place. Men buy us drinks, some buy them trying to get in our pants, but there are a few good guys that just buy them to be "Nice", nothing more, nothing less. It's sometimes difficult for us to tell the difference. Forgive us please.

This is not to say that there are not women out there that hustle for drinks, some do. There are some women that yes do take advantage of the nice guys. Can't faulty you on this one. The thing is, if you are a good guy, you won't get into this situation in the first place.

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This is not a universal truth what I am about to say, but there is some truth to it. I have had many a man ask me why do women like the bad boys. I have to agree with this to a degree, but let me explain further. Women associate the attraction itself with the bad boy. A lot of women have spent way to much time with the wrong man and the wrong man becomes her normal. She feels attraction for this man regardless and she has become conditioned that anything different, because it feels different isn't normal. It's not that it's not normal, it's just not her normal or what she has been conditioned to think normal feels like. Her rational mind may tell her that a man that treats her bad isn't good, but she has been conditioned that it translates to attraction. Am I making sense?

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So if you are a nice guy, you will just pass her by right? Or you get all upset because she doesn't like you and you treat her so good. You tell her you would never treat her bad. The thing is, it translates in her mind as no attraction because she isn't used to the nice or good guys. A good guy will recognize this fact. That her non attraction has nothing at all to do with him, and mostly to do with her.

Can a nice guy change her mind? Probably not, but a good guy might could. If you are liking a nice woman that has been with a bad boy for a long time, you might want to understand how the attraction blue print is laid out in her mind. It has been altered by false stimuli. This happens with men too by the way. I know many a man that thinks if his woman isn't giving him drama, it's not love. They create drama to feel alive. Sad I know.

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Nice Guys get told this a lot. They often here the words "I just want to be friends". We call it the friend Zone.They have lots of female friends. Some of these female friends they are romantically interested in, yet it feels like they can never make any progress with these friends that are female. This translates to one thing and one thing only. Something is missing and that something is attraction. If this happens to you more than not, you have two choices. You can continue to sit there and justify it to yourself and the world by thinking that all women only love jerks or you can take some responsibility and make some changes.

If women aren't feeling attraction for you and it's been several women or many women, it's not them, it's you. Sucks I know, but women have the same problem believe it or not. I know a lot of women who just love too much. They are perfect girlfriends that keep getting dumped. It's not the men in their lives, just like you it's them, not the men. It's really amazing any of us get together at all isn't it? You see it's a common thing. Women who love too much and men who are nice guys and stay in the friend zone. Both have something in common being this. Neither completely understands how attraction works and manifests between the opposite sex.

Now with both sexes, you have a choice. You can shut down and do nothing, keeping on like you are doing or you can make changes. You can do the work it takes to understand how attraction works and what triggers it in women. If you are a man who is stuck in the friend zone, you can get out. I am going to suggest something that many of my female friends will shiver at. Join a pick up community. Sounds crazy I know, but these communities really do teach some fundamental principles on attraction. I know many a man who has joined a pick up community to just get laid by a lot of different women, come out of it with a deeper understanding of how women think and what makes them tick. I have known many men to come out of these workshops with a deeper respect for women.

Why do I recommend them so strongly when the concept is to just teach men how to get laid by multiple women? Because they teach men the fundamentals and basics about attraction. They teach you behaviors that can help you get out of the friend zone. I have watched men use these principles and get positive results and often land in a long term relationship. If what you are doing isn't getting you anywhere, you are just further programing yourself for failure. If you join a PUA community, and use what you learn in the real world, you will get different results and this is a positive reinforcement for you. It's a win win situation.

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