The No A**hole Rule

Jerks cost money. Bottom line. Period. The real problem is that they are incompetent. Sure they may know their core skills cold, but if they behave like Jerks then their performance still is sub par. The accountant who belittles his assistant might be able to balance the books, but he fails at his job. Same for the hotshot in sales who steals accounts from others in the company. His personal numbers are great, maybe the best, but he still fails.

Then there is the manager who is all stick, but has forgotten the carrot. You may know the type. Name calling, intimidation tactics, sarcasm, dirty looks, public shaming and constant, rude interruptions. It is just the way she does her job. She is always acing like there must be something very wrong with you. Unfortunately, the problem is with her. This manager is incompetent and it is costing the company more than they know.

How we do our work is as important as the work we do. The doctor who screams at nurses and patients alike is doing as much harm as good. His medical skills and insight may be remarkable, but he undermines all of his efforts. Patients will withhold information from him, avoid interactions with him, resent his abusive attacks, passively refuse to follow his directions for care, challenge his core skills and initiate litigation. So will the nurses and other staff. So his job is only half done. And done poorly at that. Every time he screams he is demonstrating that he is not competent.

Every job needs a fine professional with a mastery of their core skills and a decent, civilized adult ready to apply those skills to the needs at hand.

The first step is measuring the costs of conflict. Then you can manage the changes needed. Without effective ways to measure the costs it seems as though they do not really exist. Let's be honest, most budgets don't have conflict as a line item. But it is costing companies large amounts daily, just the same.

Robert Sutton gives a very thorough list of the costs of Jerks at work. He organizes the costs of Jerks in the work place into five broad categories.

1. The Damage to Victims and Witnesses
When employees need to deal with a Jerk, employees get off task. They are distracted, they lose motivation and energy, become self-protective, have increased medical needs and miss more work. There is greater turnover, greater hiring and training costs, and more time spent at work looking for another job. Finally the psychological costs include stress-related illnesses, impaired mental ability including decision making, and can turn victims into Jerks as they attempt to cope.

2. The Woes of Certified A**holes
Jerks suffer too. Co-workers avoid interactions, avoid giving them bad news, and resist cooperating with them. Co-workers will sabotage them, retaliate for past misdeeds, and humiliate them when given the chance. Long term, Jerks suffer career damage, job loss and fail to fulfill their potential.

3. Wicked Consequences for Management
Management pays a heavy price for workplace conflict. Time is given to putting out the fires by calming, disciplining and counseling Jerks. Also the issues raised by victims, (employees, suppliers, contract workers, and customers) need to be addressed. Time is wasted re-organizing departments and teams to limit the impact of Jerks. More time, energy and money is spent on recruiting, interviewing and training new employees. All of this leaves management burnt out and leads to turnover, loss of motivation and increased stress.

4. Legal and HR Management Costs
There are a wide range and heavy costs associated with HR and legal. Remedial training in anger management and other basic skills for Jerks is essential. With increased health care claims come increased premiums. Legal costs are astronomical and include legal counsel both inside and outside the company. Add to that settlement costs for victims and settlement costs for Jerks including wrongful termination suits. Finally, there are consulting fees for therapists, executive coaches, and a variety of other internal and external consultants.

5. Negative Effects on the Organization
The whole organization is impacted by the fallout from Jerks in the workplace. Improving work systems is more difficult in a workplace characterized by conflict. In fact the whole company can be seen as dysfunctional by a lack of internal cooperation. There is a reduction in innovation and creativity, cooperation and cohesion, and initiative. Victims will retaliate against the company including sabotage and theft. The companies that need to work with yours will add a price premium to deal with Jerks. Finally, word will get around and the best and brightest will work for your competition.

The only person that wants to work with a Jerk is another Jerk. In fact, they are likely to gather together, hire each other and infect the whole company.

The safest alternative is to not hire them in the first place. Some companies are better at this than others. Southwest Airlines is famous for their insistence that everyone, staff and passengers be treated fairly and warmly. Richard Branson in the opening of his ill fated reality show (The Rebel Billionaire) was disguised as a low status driver. He removed the players who had treated him with disrespect before the end of the first night.

It is possible to remove the Jerks before they get to the game. It takes effort, but the payout is huge. Begin by looking at people you know and people who bring references that you trust to fill positions in your company. Of course, not all referrals are equal. We all live in fear of being duped by the glowing reference for a complete Jerk that someone else is trying to dump.

During the interview process have people from up and down the line meet with them. Jerks play up to their bosses but denigrate those of equal and lesser status. They are like Eddie Haskell from Leave it to Beaver. Remember how he was always so well mannered with June and Ward but was such a Jerk to Beaver, Wally, Lumpy and Whitey?

Focus on hiring people you know and from references that you trust. The worst, and all too common situation, is the glowing reference from someone trying to dump their trouble employee into your lap. By favoring trustworthy referrals you are screening out the Jerks up front.

Only meet face to face with candidates that are fully qualified in their core skills; sales people who can sell, accountants who can count and managers who can manage. Then while meeting with the candidates you will be able to focus on their soft skills.

If you are in a job that already is filled with Jerks you still have some choices to make. Like dealing with a Jerk, none of this is real easy, but it is doable and you can make the changes that you need.

First, accept the fact that you may need to change jobs. The culture may be too sick and too deeply engrained to effect much change. The cost to your health, spirit and self-respect may be very high indeed. After evaluating the possibilities for improving your current situation, you may decide that you need a plan B instead. A realistic assessment may require that you move on.

To stay and succeed in a workplace filled with Jerks, you will need to take several steps. There are a few new skills to master along the way.

1. Reframe
It is often tempting to view the world in the framework that the Jerk has provided. You might tend to caught up in their version of reality. The trick is to place the complaints, behaviors and events in a new context. Take a deep breath and re-evaluate.

2. Practice optimism.
Focus on the positive and the good things that already exist. Even in very difficult situations, there will be many good things. It may take some practice to develop this kind of optimism. But the friendly support from co-workers, the peace and quiet at lunch in the park and your belief that everything will be fine when it has all passed will qualify. This perspective can change the overall impact of a Jerk in your life.

3. Adjust expectations.
Being optimistic is not the same as being unrealistic. Limit your expectations that your boss will ever change. He won't. He may learn to modify his behavior given there is enough pressure from above. Just as likely he will not. Either way, hoping that he will become a normal, decent and dare I say, kind person is a losing game. It will drain you and the pain and long-term effects of his behavior will likely be longer lasting. Better to call a spade "a spade" and live in that reality.

4. Set boundaries.
The first thing you can do is to limit just how much you interact with the Jerk. Limit face to face meetings, keep meeting as short as possible and use teleconferencing and other technology assists. Meeting assisted by technology often increase misunderstanding since the communication is often not as clear. When the situation demands the use of technology, be sure to take pains to clarify everything along the way.

5. Safety plan.
Build a safe group of people at work and in your personal life. This is can include other victims at work. To make this most effective, avoid the "bitch" session and focus more on the strategies of survival that have been effective.

6. Incremental improvements.
Small, carefully chosen wins increase our feeling of control. A favored approach is a gentle re-education. At an opportune moment show the Jerk the advantages of not escalating the conflict. Demonstrate the virtues of a better way. When they scream and spin out of control, respond with calmness and respect. The options to extract little wins and to make incremental improvements are limited, but do offer an important way to gain a measure of control and maintain your mental health.

Robert Sutton points out that the best solution may be to have just one jerk in house. The idea is the example of one Jerk will inform the rest on how they should behave. This may turn out to be a risky program since Jerks seem to multiply like rabbits. The one Jerk rule will require a steady hand and the patience of a saint.

First, the Jerk needs to understand the policy that the behavior of Jerks in large and small ways will not be tolerated. Common decencies are a job requirement. A real Jerk will need regular coaching on this point.

Next, the Jerk cannot be given any real authority or power over another employee. Small amounts of power can turn even decent people into Jerks. This known Jerk should not be promoted.

The abuses of Jerks need to be disciplined in as public way as their offenses. This way everyone one will be more careful to follow the rules. The value of the solo Jerk is the negative example that they provide. They let everyone know how to do it right by doing it wrong.