Military Gnomes: Protect Your Garden
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Does your garden need gnome protection?
I bought the USAF military garden gnome (shown to the left) for my father this year as a birthday present.
His hobby is "decorating" his back yard using a patriotic theme. His flamboyant and eclectic style infuriates his neighbors and my step-mom. The more they complain, the more stuff he adds to the backyard landscape. This year I am helping him annoy the golfers, neighbors and his loved ones by giving him a cute little Air Force Gnome. It is the perfect gift for a retired military man.
FYI: There are garden gnomes for all the military servicemen out there! If you have not guessed by now, I am going to share them with you on this page (or "lens", as we here at Squidoo, like to call our pages). I am focusing in on just the military gnomes; none of those other cute garden gnomes will do. Yes, I want you to buy a gnome!
(You can buy the USAF gnome shown relaxing on my swing from Amazon. Yes, I caught the garden gnome taking a break with my iPhone. Lettering added with www.BeFunky.com.)
His hobby is "decorating" his back yard using a patriotic theme. His flamboyant and eclectic style infuriates his neighbors and my step-mom. The more they complain, the more stuff he adds to the backyard landscape. This year I am helping him annoy the golfers, neighbors and his loved ones by giving him a cute little Air Force Gnome. It is the perfect gift for a retired military man.
FYI: There are garden gnomes for all the military servicemen out there! If you have not guessed by now, I am going to share them with you on this page (or "lens", as we here at Squidoo, like to call our pages). I am focusing in on just the military gnomes; none of those other cute garden gnomes will do. Yes, I want you to buy a gnome!
(You can buy the USAF gnome shown relaxing on my swing from Amazon. Yes, I caught the garden gnome taking a break with my iPhone. Lettering added with www.BeFunky.com.)
Contents at a Glance
Too many gnomes in your neighborhood?
No Home for Nomes?
Buy your survival guide NOW by clicking How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (And They Will)
If you feel like you want to be prepared for a gnome war, click on the title above so you can order your survival guide today. If you live anywhere near my father, I have a feeling that the gnome battles will begin when the Air Force Gnome is at his battle station. I can just see it now, Army, Navy and Marine Gnomes battling it out for supremacy!
Don't Gknow What a Gnome Is?
A gnome (or nohm) is a dwarflike creature found in European lore. Gnomes look like small, misshaped men who have very long beards. They usually live underground (think mines), but today they love to find a space in your garden among the plants. In lore, gnomes are thought to to guard fabulous treasures of jewels and precious metals. One thing I did not gknow about gnomes is that they were thought to have the magic ability to make people feel sad. How could they do that? They tend to make me smile, but I guess my father's neighbors feel sad when they see his collection!I found this information about gnomes in my very old encyclopedia (World Book).
Buy the garden gnome pictured to the right from Nature Hills
OR find the top rated gnomes on Amazon by clicking Top Rated Garden Gnomes
Find Your United States Air Force Gnome on Amazon
This little Airman is 11.5 inches high and will fit nicely in your garden, gazebo or front porch. Each fella is hand crafted and hand painted. The gnome hat has a raised logo on the hat.
Unfortunately, not made in the USA.
Unfortunately, not made in the USA.
Buy a Navy Gnome for your protection!
Gnome from the Navy! Bet you could add a fleet of gnomes around your pool.
Don't forget that there is a Coast Guard!
A Gnome Ready to Protect the sea shore!
Forever Collectibles United States Coast Guard Military Garden Gnome
Amazon Price: $24.95 (as of 06/03/2012)
List Price: $37.01
Used Price:
Release Date: 03/01/2011
Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Army Gnomes on Amazon
It has been my experience that the Marine gnome loves to sneak in. Beware, the Marines just might win the battle for your garden.
Marine Gnomes need a hiding place in your landscape!
Buy your Gnome on eBay!
WHAT TO EXPECT FROM YOUR GARDEN GNOME:
At first your garden gnome may be a little shy. He may even hide from you... Given time, your gnome will adjust and come out and watch over your gnomescape. Gnomes love to help small animals and even feed some of them from seeds found in the garden (make sure to tell him not to take seeds you have planted!) Sometimes at night you have to be extra careful with the Party type Gnomes (Being a military brat, myself, I KNOW that the military does party hardy). They sometime drink a wee to much and may fall into your pond. Be sure to have your ear out for distress calls or make sure you buy a Coast Guard Gnome to put by the pond. Hmmm, wonder if there is a "lifeguard gnome"?
Thanks to rhandy99 on eBay for the inspiration.
At first your garden gnome may be a little shy. He may even hide from you... Given time, your gnome will adjust and come out and watch over your gnomescape. Gnomes love to help small animals and even feed some of them from seeds found in the garden (make sure to tell him not to take seeds you have planted!) Sometimes at night you have to be extra careful with the Party type Gnomes (Being a military brat, myself, I KNOW that the military does party hardy). They sometime drink a wee to much and may fall into your pond. Be sure to have your ear out for distress calls or make sure you buy a Coast Guard Gnome to put by the pond. Hmmm, wonder if there is a "lifeguard gnome"?
Thanks to rhandy99 on eBay for the inspiration.
Learn About the Enemy Gnome:
The "G" is as silent as the gnomes' attack.
All nations agree, the way to win a war is to understand the history of your enemy. The book here has received 5 stars (the best) from reviews on Amazon. Read and learn about gnomes so you can figure out how to keep them out of your yard. Like the "G" in gnome, those nomes will be silent in their attack on your countryside manor. They will appear overnight like mushrooms.
Garden Gnomes: A History (Shire Library)
Amazon Price: $6.44 (as of 06/03/2012)
"The book ends with a view of garden gnomes' affect on modern pop culture, with a mention of the trend in gnome liberation (stealing and relocating the ornaments as a prank)." From a review by From a Andrew J. Broznya on Amazon.
Another way to protect yourself:
A Gnome to Support the Troops--the safest side!
In the military gnome affairs, you can protect yourself with a generic gnome that supports all the troops.
Support Our Troops Gnome - Style 39627
Amazon Price: $10.99 (as of 06/03/2012)
The neutral color scheme of this garden gnome will not offend anyone. It might also help hide your guy from the "Gnome Liberationists".
A Home for a Gnome!
Here is where the Air Force Gnome will be posted for duty.
Who Gnew Gnomes would become such a fad?
Did you?
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MamaBelle
May 13, 2011 @ 10:03 am | delete
- I would love a gnome of my own. A gnome armed to the teeth would be even better.
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TheLittleCardShop
Apr 2, 2011 @ 8:30 am | delete
- Your father must enjoy annoying his neighbors so much, it made me smile just to picture him thinking what will they think with this new Gnome you have him.
All thos Gnome products are so fun, never thought there was such a big variety of them :)
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SandyPeaks
Mar 23, 2011 @ 3:49 pm | delete
- I hope your Dad's gnome stays on duty where he's assigned; I have heard some become gnomads...Blessed by a Squid Angel.
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Waxing-Lyrical Mar 22, 2011 @ 5:05 pm | delete
- Back home in the UK, you can see gnomes everywhere adorning people's gardens. Hope your Dad enjoys his!
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Wednesday_Elf
Mar 21, 2011 @ 8:27 pm | delete
- I Gknow I like your extra, silent, G's in your Gnome descriptions! :). Cute story, and fun little garden gnomes. I'll bet your dad will love his Air Force one.
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To Gnow Me is to Love Me!
by Mickie_G
Welcome! My father is retired from the USAF, so this Air Force gnome was a perfect gift!
I am a wife, mother, & grandmother who also happens to be a...
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Gnot a gnome in sight, though.
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