Not Dead Yet

As some of my fans and friends know, I have been very busy being Not Dead. I have taken on new opportunities and rid myself of some unhealthy behaviors. Being Not Dead takes a LOT of work...when you do it well. It is worth all the effort.

As I look back over the last two and a half years, I am still amazed at where I have been, what I have done, and people that have come and gone from my life. I haven't counted, but I'm pretty sure I have met more people and been involved in more "big" things in the past few years than at any other time in my life - regardless of the time span. All because I am willing to LIVE and not just to exist. I am posting this today, because I want to share a few thoughts and, hopefully, inspire YOU!

What is it that YOU really want out of life? What is it that you are afraid of getting? It may sound silly, but sometimes people are afraid of succeeding. As long as they have a "normal" life, come and go on a schedule, proceed as necessary, then things are ok. Normal. Read that as boring. LIVE, people. Really get out there and LIVE!!!

Instead of just giving your life your time, give it your attention. Eat at a place you've never been. Talk to a stranger. Smell the flowers AND the weeds! Yes, weeds! Pay attention to all that life and this world are offering to you. It is an amazing life that can and will invite all opportunnities into it. Don't just enjoy the obvious happy times, but find new and wonderous ways to understand and appreciate the dumb things that happen along the way. So you lock your keys in your car, so what? Maybe this allowed you to miss rush hour traffic. Maybe this gave you an opportunity to meet a really cool person while you were trying to get your car unlocked. Or possibly, this forced you to take some time to do absolutely nothing. Perhaps this is the "down time" you refuse to take, but desperately needed.

I am a firm believer that: EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. The difficult part for most people is that they look too hard and long to find the reason and become frustrated. It is likely that you will not know the reason. Maybe it wasn't that you were supposed to meet a cool person, but rather that they were supposed to meet you while you were trying to get your car unlocked. The reason isn't important for things happening. Trusting that there is a reason and allowing for the reason to not be known to you at this time...well, I think that's what they call faith. Eventually, all the pieces will come together and it will be amazing. The picture of your life will all make sense.

Take a chance on living to the fullest extent that you can. Please, even if you feel confined to your own four walls, soak up all that is offered there. Look closely at the spiderweb that is growing in your window. What kind of spider is making it? Are there other bugs being trapped - is this spider helping you with pest control? Marvel at the way the sun forces a few tiny beams through the edges of your drapes, as if to say, "I know you are in there and I want to be with you." Heck, if you have been depressed and let your place go, there are still wonderous and amazing things happening all around you. Have you looked at mold patterns? I mean really looked? Sometimes it can look like the softest velvet and other times it looks like mountains and hills. (Sure, now that you've noticed and analyzed, you can clean it up.) My point is that there is beauty and happiness everywhere.

Don't just be here - BE HERE. Look at things as if you are three years old. Make a consistant effort to find excitement and joy everywhere you go and in everything you do. I have been living this way for two and a half years. I can't imagine living any other way. I feel alive in all my senses. My spirit - my soul is happy in every possible way.

BE!!

I was out with some friends. I drove my 1968 Pontiac Firebird convertible. Top down of course!
While showing the car to a friend, I pointed out the fuzzy dice hanging from my mirror. Had to have them!
It's a "requirement" for classic cars to have fuzzy dice!
Later on that evening, someone took the dice from my car. At first, when I noticed, I was laughing, but upset. "Somebody took my fuzzy dice?!?" I was only away from the car for a few minutes. With the top down, though, it had to be pretty easy to take them.

Then, I pictured the person taking them. Imagine the thrill this drunk s.o.b. got from "getting away with their kill". (I say drunk s.o.b., because I think I know who it was who took them.) Really, the dice cost me a buck and they looked good hanging from my mirror. But, you know what? The "living" this person felt when they took them is far more valuable than the dice. I wish I could have seen them. They were probably giggling and had a rush of adrenaline at getting caught. Buddies standing lookout (yea, I really do think I know who it was) had their adrenaline going, too. And for what? A harmless and cheap thrill. Man, I wish, really wish I could have seen them enjoying the heist.

I am NOT encouraging theft as a means of feeling more alive! I am NOT saying it is ok to take things, or mess with other people's property just for your own selfish rush! DON'T DO IT!

What I am saying is this: Sometimes things suck. When they do, and you can't change it, find some good in it. It is pointless to have a confrontation over a dollar's worth of replaceable accessories for a car. So find the humor, find the good, and go on with your life. Don't let the junk drag you down.

For one moment, a few people had fun. They acted like little kids. It wasn't the most appropriate way to have fun...but it was a moment they will have fun remembering. They lived!

NO STEALING! Go have fun with your life!

I'm going to buy 10 dice & keep the extra ones in the trunk for the next time someone decides to have fun at my "expense". If they knew how cheap the dice were, it might deminish the fun factor.

I am finding people complaining about where they are in life. That's fine. In order to proceed to the next level of learning, there will be some discontent. But, PLEASE, People, People!!! Get off the complaint and fix what you don't like - ALREADY!!!
If things aren't as you'd like them, change them! DO SOMETHING!!!! Where is that "hidden agenda" people are accused of having? Is it so hidden you have forgotten what it is you really wanted?
Remember when you were in high school and knew everything? What did you say you'd do when you were on your own? Did you tell yourself that you'd never work a job you didn't enjoy? Do you enjoy your job? Would you do it for free? Find your passion!
If you want to do something, do it! If you want to explore the world, start by taking a walk in an unfamiliar neighborhood. What's that saying? "If you want to illuminate the world, light a candle in your own back yard." You don't have to sell everything you own, sever all relationships, and move to the mountians to change your life. You have to start living.
I am on to my next venture as well. It will take many years to get to my next goal. The quest to remain not dead has taken on a whole new meaning.
Leave a comment. By putting it in writing, you send it to the Universe and things start happening! What is it you want to do and what will you do to start on your way?

It is great to be Not Dead Yet. I am learning all kinds of new things to do while I'm not dead. I have stepped way out of my comfort zone. I am...living.

You may not think it is a big deal, but it is. I have been learning some things that I had not known how to do. I learned how to use the computer one year ago - and look at me now! I'm a lensmaster, sender of e-mails, receiver of "I M's", and online bill payer. I'm even typing a book on the computer instead of on the Brother electric typewriter I bought brand new.

I successfully made pancakes for my kids three times. The pancakes were not runny or burnt. In the past, my pancakes were burnt and when you cut into them, batter would run out. Quite an achievement in itself, but not the goal.

I am getting better at playing pool. Sure enough, I couldn't get worse. I may not be getting the intended ball in, but I stopped sinking the cue ball every time. I'm happy to say no balls left the table the last time I played.

I have perfected a few recipes. I have even received requests for them for dinner. Used to be, the kids wait until the smoke detector goes off and add a few minutes, then, they knew dinner was done. If the detector went off for too long, they knew we'd be ordering pizza that night.

I took one night of dancing lessons. I was out and saw people who obviously knew how to dance well. I asked and received instruction about how to dance. I'm nowhere near good. I still say I can't dance. If the spirit moves me, now, I am not afraid to get on the dancefloor and try. Something about learning how to dance in front of a whole room full of people has made me less self-conscious.

What do you want to do? Maybe you've never made an omlete (also on my list). Perhaps you want to run around your neighborhood without getting winded (I'd settle for around the block). Could be that learning to play the harmonica has interested you. (I own 7 musical instruments and cannot play one of them). All these are good. Look at your life and the big things you want to do. Now take a fun look at the little things you'd enjoy. It is ok to live little bits of victory while you are pursuing the bigger goals. The point is to enjoy your time not dead!

I saw in the paper today that a guy I knew from school has died. That sucks. He was only 40. The information shared how much he loved his daughter, was friends with his ex-wife and the places he had worked. Some of the things I remember the most about him are his sense of humor and his intelligence.

He liked Monty Python and British humor type jokes. He was either smiling or deep in thought. I don't recall seeing him angry. He was one of those guys that you'd call to help you do something on the computer. (Back in school, most people did not even have computers.) He seemed to know everything about them and was willing to help. He was a nice guy. I always figured he would turn out like Bill Gates or someone like that.

I do have a point in sharing this. (He would have appreciated this.) You're not dead yet. What is left that you are wanting to accomplish? Who do you want to be? Where do you want to live? How do you want to make a living? ARE YOU HAPPY, YET?? Don't wait for "someday" to actively move in the direction of your happy, fulfilled life. Do you really think that you will live forever and have every opportunity come to you if you just sit and wait for it???

I would say more, but I'm going to go. I'm going to work on a project I'd wanted to do for 25 years. A friend inspired me to start it last year. I'm now working on finishing it. I want it to be done before I am.

When was the last time you purposely jumped with both feet into a big puddle?

How long has it been since you blew bubbles?

Did you color a picture all by yourself? With crayons? Within the last month?

Why is it that so many of the "joys of childhood" get left behind? You are just as capable of fun at an old age as you are at a young age. Is it possible that you have foresaken fun for knowledge? Can't you have both?

Think back to when life was simple and fun. Your days were light and happy. Now, recreate some of that in your life today. Keep the knowledge. Bring back the fun. You can be a brilliant accountant and still like to play with PlayDoh. Even a lion tamer needs a break to play Tiddliewinks now and then. It doesn't mean you give up being an adult. It means allowing yourself simple pleasures. Little things can make you smile. You won't forget how to drive a car just because you want to spend time with a slinky and some stairs. You'll gain a bit of a giggle. Who knows, you might even be happy for a little while.

I dare you to have fun. I double dog dare you!!

When it's your birthday, people wish you a "happy" birthday. You might even get a cake and be told to make a wish and blow out the candles. Theory is that if all the candles go out with one breath, your wish will come true - ONLY if you don't tell anyone what you wished.

If you want the wish to come true, why not say it outloud? Tell everyone what you wish. People who know your wish might see opportunities for it to come true. Maybe you wished for a guitar. If you say your wish out loud, maybe someone who has a guitar to spare will offer to let you borrow it.

Ok. Time for the big stuff. Let's say your wish is for a better life. Wishing alone will not give you what you want. No one can give that to you; you have to make that for yourself. You have to do the work to make your life what you want it to be. It will be worth all the time involved. What part is it that you want to be better?

Do you want someone to love you? Start with yourself. You are worth love. You deserve love. If there is something about you that you find difficult to love, fix it! Are you out of shape? Get a healthier diet and exercise. If you are needy? Spend time alone, give to yourself and fulfill your needs the way you'd want someone else to give to you. (This is a great way to get past the "I need someone else to feel complete" thing that a lot of us have had in the past.) If you aren't happy with some aspect of your life, do some work and change it.

Do you want a different job? Get to work! You can find the job - or career that you want. Maybe it means having to go to school, take an apprentice job, or simply working for a better company. Decide what it is that you want to be different and go for it!

What in your life do you wish? This one's easy. You want to be happy and complete, right? You want to feel loved and give love. You want to wake up and look forward to the day ahead of you. You want to...you want to LIVE. You want to really feel like your life was all worth it in the end.

Find your soul's most true wish for your life. Blow out a deep breath. (No trick candles to worry about.)Now, go make it happen for you. Selfishly make your life what you want it to be. You can tell people, or not. What matters most is that you take action to live your life for what you want and don't wait around for someone else to give your wish to you. You're not too old to do it. You're not dead yet.

As my city is snowed in, I can't help but think of all the things I could be doing. Instead of annoyance at being stuck inside, I am finding myself happy over the things I may have taken for granted lately.

I am happy that I have (only through the patience of many dear friends) learned how to use the computer. I am able to send my thoughts out and hope someone will benefit from them. Sometimes just by sending things into the universe, they come back to you in a new way. (Be sure to read and try "Squidoothis".)

I have friends to talk with over the phone. Philosophical discussions about "reality", or "laws of attraction", and all the different paths to "enlightenment", can go on for hours. Conversations about plans for when the weather clears are exciting. Things the kids are doing these days can have the emotions going in lots of directions.

I have hundreds of books that are not read. I have paint and blank canvas waiting for inspiration. I could learn to play the guitar that I got for Christmas (with an instruction book & dvd). I could make my famous oatmeal cookies from scratch.

"With many pleasant options for living in a snowy day, what did the NotDeadYet do?" I cleaned. I did the laundry. I sorted through papers and got rid of clothes I'll never wear. So many options, yet these were my choices for the bulk of my day? I'll let you in on a "secret".

Not only is life about pursuing your dreams, it is also about enjoying where you are right now. Take a look around your home and at yourself. Embrace the wonderfulness of what you have accomplished so far! So things are a bit out of order, maybe there are stacks of things that didn't quite make it to where they belong or, like me, the dust hides so many things you forgot about. Is your mind the same way?

Take time to realize what you have - in your home, your life, and your mind. Tidy up one or two things, just to see what's there. Recognize that you are lucky in your life for the people who are there for you. Discover in your mind, under the mental dust, the things you desire. Allow this snowy day to be a time to reflect all the good that exists and enjoy the happiness that you own. Perhaps a chance to re-discover something that you lost. It might be something you already have. Maybe it is something that you forgot you wanted. Sometimes, just to be found again is all that's needed to renew the excitement.

I spent some time with a friend over the weekend. She is 96 years old. She has inspiring blue eyes and a classiness about her. As we left her room to take a walk, she saw another resident who had apparently bothered her recently. My friend said to the other lady, with a stern voice, "You stay outta my room! You've got no business being in my room." One of the assistants from the nursing home came up just then. She lead the other lady ahead of us, and gently explained that she couldn't go in other people's rooms unless she was invited. My friend picked up speed and forced her walker ahead, and pretended like she was going to run over the other lady. She looked back at me and smiled. She is ornery. She was proud of herself for taking a stand and setting her limits. She was tickled to show me that she could have run over the other lady - if she really wanted to.

Where are your limits? Where do you stand? What are you proud (or tickled) about yourself? YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET!!! Do you have the drive of a 96 year old woman? You should! Stop complaining about what you can't control or don't have. Know what you want from life. Know where your values are and make a stand. Be proud of your accomplishments. You don't have to be egotistical, or smug. Be proud of where you are today and be tickled to be heading toward more of what you desire out of life.

Here is a 96 year old woman who is waiting to go "home" and she knows what she wants. There is very little in her life that she can control. She can't pick where she wants to live, because she needs around the clock care. She doesn't get to pick when or what she gets to eat and doesn't even get to cook the food the way she likes it. Instead of complaining about the things she can't control, she takes charge of her life where she can. She is not dead yet and she is living with the hope of going back to her home to live. She may not get back to her house. I'm not going to take away the hope she has. When she talks about going back to "my house" she lights up and smiles the biggest smile she can. With limited options, this woman has found her passion, "I'm going home!" Indeed, she will.

I have recently taken on a project that has required more from me than I had anticipated. I was not prepared for what I am going through emotionally. Let me tell you, my not-dead friends, it has taken it's toll on me.

The project is requiring me to re - live some things I had been through. It was horrible to go through them the first time. I didn't know I could feel so deeply something that I had already successfully worked through. A good "shrink" might argue that if it hurts this badly, then I must not have completely resolved these issues. There is probably some truth to that. I look at it a bit differently.

To feel deeply, to feel painful aching in one's soul from past experiences, simply means the events had a life long impact. It also means that we can still learn from mistakes that are long in the past. Of course, we will continue to make new mistakes. There are lessons we can learn from what we already went through. The most important lesson is wanting to remain not dead in the midst of awfulness.

Think about a difficult time in your life. A time you didn't know if you could live to see a new day, because each day was more painful and awful than the one before. A time in your life when you didn't want to say, "I'm not dead yet". You wanted to be done. There was a plan for you.

You didn't know how you could take one more breath, and yet, you breathed. You didn't know how you could handle anything else, and more bad stuff happened. You remained. You don't know why, but you remained.

Maybe it is like that comedian's joke about the person who attempts suicide, fails, and then lives happily. "Here's one more thing you're not successful at! How is your life better?" But somehow it is.

You noticed the sun. The air was new somehow. You felt alive in the midst of awfulness. A horrible nightmare was happening all around you, and somehow, you were alive. Although you can't say why; you wanted to be. Nothing good was happening that could make a person want to be there. You found yourself thinking about the future.

There would come a time when life wouldn't be so painful. A time in your life would be good - only for a moment. You found yourself drawing on the idea that somehow, someday, it would be ok again. So you lived.

The pain I experienced in my past haunts me as I work on this new project. I feel now as I did then, utterly hopeless. I wait. I know that it is the pain that will pass and life will be whole again. In the meantime, I vow to remain not dead yet.

If you are at a point that you are feeling bad from past experiences, or are going through your tough times now, please keep this in mind. The demons that torture you now are not going to be as powerful in a few days. Let them taunt. Let them blow their nose in your general direction. You can endure. After all, you are not dead yet - and there is a reason you're still here.

I have been given opportunities from the Universe to do things I never knew I could do, or even want to be there to do. I sometimes find it hard to believe how much has happened in such a short time. I'm talking about the personal experiences that change one's life forever. Literally, life and death situations. I am reminded how quickly this life can end.

I didn't sit by and wait for things to clear so I could continue my average day. I abandoned my comfort zone and jumped in to help. I was not prepared for the situations I encountered, but I was prepared to help in any way that I could. I don't feel it is appropriate to go into detail. I'll just say, again, no one really knows how long they have. It is important to live each day to it's fullest. Take those chances for living.

I have been an active participant in this life more in the past few months than ever before. I've stepped out of my safe, little world and experienced life. I am not only suggesting that you should live; I am out there, too. Taking chances on life. Pursuing my dreams. Being IN this life, not "just being there".

Taking chances? Yeah, I've done that. I'll keep doing that. I'll do the best I can at every opportunity. If I mess up something that I really want with all my heart (which I've done), well, I'll learn from my mistakes. When you stop making mistakes, you stop living. Bring on the giant eraser, I'm ready for more life!

If you knew that you would be dead tomorrow, at 3:00 p.m., and you couldn't tell anyone, what would you do today? Would you give excuses about why you just don't feel up to doing anything today? Would you clean the house really well? Would you check your financial situation? Would you go shopping? How about over - indulging and eating an entire chocolate cake with the really good icing you like?

Although I don't know you, I'm betting you would settle a few scores with people. You might tell some people that you love them and maybe give them a hug that is a bit tighter, and lasts a little longer. You might call someone you've had disagreements with and forgive them - or tell them off one more time. (They are so stubborn. Maybe after you're dead, they'll remember your last words and finally learn something.)

Everyone has to do the maintenance work (eating, working, paying bills, laundry, etc.) but, please, don't make those the only things that you do. When you are at work, be happy that you have a way to pay your bills. When you are at the store, hold the door open for someone. When you are alone, don't let the negative thoughts occupy your head. You are a worthwhile person and you can do anything. You're not dead yet!

You really don't know how long you will live. It may be that tomorrow is it. You may live for 60 more years, or just another week. No one knows how long they have. That is why it is important that every day counts. Don't wait to hold your loved ones closer. Don't wait to have a heart to heart talk with someone. Don't use excuses as a way of chickening out of your own life.

A friend read my Squidoo lens and asked what it is that I want out of life. My reply was, "I don't know." You better believe he laughed for a while! Here is this motivational Squidoo lens, encouraging people to pursue their dreams and it is being written by someone who apparently hasn't pursued their dreams. I feel I should explain.

About 11 years ago, a drunk driver hit my car. I suffered brain damage that caused a lot of difficulty for my family. Part of the brain damage effected my short term memory. (People ask if it bothered me, and I always reply, "did what bother me?") Another problem with the brain damage was my lack of emotional feelings. I was essentially Dr. Spock from Star Trek. A lot of what I did was based soley on what was logical to do and not on an emotional response. I did things because they needed to be done, not because I wanted to do them. (I used a LOT of paper and wrote on my hand often just to "remember" what I was doing.)

I spent 9 years and 8 months existing and logically doing what needed to be done. Then, my brain damage amazingly healed. Now, I have been told by friends that I am back to the person they knew before the accident.

The thing is, my memory, emotions, and all have been healed for over one year now, and I'm just now learning how to live. I'm just now learning who I am.

I only recently learned how to play Scrabble from a very patient friend. I have been learning how to cook and use the computer. I have been to hockey games, art exhibits, concerts, ate squid (no offense), and lots of shopping at the mall. I even started attending concerts and events by myself because I wanted to go and no one else did. I am just now learning what I like and what I don't like. Please understand, I spent almost 10 years doing only what needed to be done and nothing more. I had no drive to enjoy life, just hold my ground. (Can you relate? Work, home, kids, work, home, kids...just holding your ground.)

It is as if I am a child again. Everything is new. There are so many things I haven't done, that I don't yet have a strong opinion on what I like or don't like to do. I want to do everything!

I wish I could give you the happiness and zest for life that I feel. In keeping with the idea that we should follow through with our dreams and wishes, I have created this lens. A lens that will let you see that you might be missing from your life. (Not a typo - you - you might be missing from your life.) A lens that will somehow encourage you to live to experience new things.

To answer my laughing friend's question,
"What do you want from life?"
I want to inspire people to stop holding their ground and start moving in the direction of life experiences. Pursue their dreams. Take a chance. You can learn new things, talk with new people, and really enjoy life.
I want everyone to say, "I'm not dead yet".

Always wanted to...

Wish I could have...

I should have...

These are the statements of which nightmares are made. Stress comes stronger from this type of thinking because there is the implication that you are somehow at fault for not following through. As if the universe gave a chance to you, an opportunity for happiness, and you declined. Give up the blame for what "could've been", or "should've been". Stop kicking yourself for what you didn't do and start living.
Some of those "missed" chances may even still be available. Sometimes you can still pursue what you "almost had" and not have lost any ground. Sometimes fear is what held you back in the first place; be strong and go for it - without fear this time!

Sometimes financial reasons have held you back. That is understandable. That is also fixable! That business you always wanted to start, but never did because it would cost too much, is still within reach. Did you start a savings plan toward the goal of your business? Did you ever talk to people you trust to see if they would invest in your business? Heck, did you even research exact costs to get started or did you just tell yourself it would be too much and dropped the issue?

Whatever those lost opportunities were, it's time to look at what you want out of life now. "Always wanted to" see what costs are involved and take steps toward your goal. If you "wish you could've" - then do it. Maybe the issue is a "should have". Learn from what you feel you "should have" done. (Start by showing the people in your life that you care for them. Don't wait until the next time you see them, there may not be a next time. When was the last time you called someone just to say "I love you"?) Take all the "should have" thoughts and look at which chances are still there. Just because you didn't act then doesn't necessarily mean the opportunity is gone.

There are obvious signs of being not dead. If you are unsure of your status, please check these signs of being not dead:

You have to wait in line for anything

People ask you to help them move from one home to another

Animals approach you, but do not try to bury you

You stub your toe and it hurts

You care about a bad hair day

Religious people try to "save" you

Laying completely motionless for more than 40 minutes becomes a challenge

If one or more of the above applies to you, CONGRATULATIONS!! You are not dead yet!

Having become aware of that, you are now obligated to live. You have been given a "second chance". You are welcome to pursue your dreams and take the chances you didn't take in the past. You may unbuckle your seat belt and move about your life! (Unless you're sitting in a car. Wear your seat belt in the car.)
What will you do with your second chance?

You have thought about your life. Now for the difficult part, what is it you want for your life?

Decide what it is that you've always wanted to do. Maybe you wanted to travel and see different parts of the world. Maybe you always wanted to go into business for yourself. Perhaps you want to be more successful doing what you are already doing - a more loving companion, a happier person, more quality time with your family. What is it that you want to change in your life while you are not dead?

Please give your responses in the comments section and share with others what you've been missing in your life. What do you want to do with the time you have left?

Coming soon!

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