Home » Squidoo Community » About Me

Notes on the Back of an Envelope

11 Comments

20 Like

Like 20

Pin It

Ranked #2,376 in Squidoo Community, #209,909 overall

Journaling and Creative Writing

I always have a notebook with me. And I use it often.

I'm constantly taking notes, jotting down thoughts, doodling, planning the week ahead, writing down lists (usually to do and shopping), or just doing what I call the "brain dump", a relaxed form of free-writing usually targeted at a current issue, an attempt to problem solve through journaling. On this lens I share some of my writings from good days and not-so-good days.

In any case, don't we all share the same uncertainty of life and the same uncontrollable and overwhelming drive to live? Go ahead, leaf through my notebook...

Another Sleepless Night
bending sound
ECT

The air is bitter;
The sounds coming through the window, distant.

Morning comes.
Dewey. Gray. Empty.
The ceiling fan reminds me of the world outside.
The light is outside.
Inside... hollow.

water... please...

i am all over the place right now my bedroom is a mess the check engine light just came on and i need to tell glenn about it and i did not make that phone call but i made sure to wrap the handset and my note around it with mailing tape. my main coping skill is running but writing helps me as well. i sometimes wonder whether i'll ever feel normal again but of course, what is normal? i tried to make a mobius strip last night but the paper i used was not wide enough and then the ends came unglued anyway. i'm reading that book for the second time. i always am impressed at how the works of godel escher and bach are so intertwined and woven together like the web of a lonely thirsty spider. it just lies there oblivious of the human hand that ruthlessly executes its fate. she was a happy spider, after all.

Steel Rapture

it's a subliminal state...
the bitterness of my tears
and the sweetness of the guitar chords
invoke pungent memories.
memories of long awaited moments
i have never experienced,
but that are yet to come.
each note in its unique beauty and simplicity
touches me deeply,
making me so clearly aware
of these feelings.
it's piercing.
HE tortures me with each stroke of HIS hands...
hands carefully crafted by the gods...
so powerful, they uncover me
and expose my innermost self,
dark, unknown, beautiful.
it feels like drops of acid burning my face.
my whole body shakes as i delight in joy
and suffering.
what could compare to this...
how could i ever explain how i feel...
no single corner of my mind is left unexplored.
i am inside out, but no one can see.
no one sees what i have to offer.
my heart dwells on desire to be set free... now... now!
take me, take me whole...
if not completely, i would rather not be taken at all...

Another Sleepless Night

My body is so tired it feels like it doesn't exist anymore. When I lie down it doesn't matter what position I settle myself in. I feel like I am floating about my bedroom, I'm just thought. The thoughts don't stop, but the body is calm. I cannot feel any of it nor can I feel my own breathing, so it feels like I do not have a body.

Sitting at my desk I am aware of structures in the room that do not exist. I feel the presence of a wall and fireplace right behind me, that aren't here. My peripheral vision sees them, but when I turn around they are not there.

bending sound

you know the feeling when you are listening to a killer song, and you're totally immersed in it, eyes closed, head tilted back, and the sound touches your being in such a pleasurable way it almost hurts, and you soar to the heights of euphoria, and your body opens up in millions of different places, and each of these openings turns inside out, and its smaller constituents start to break open and turn inside out as well, in an orgasmic fractal dismemberment... inside out, outside in, recursively, ad infinitum, and in the process, exhausted and exhilarated you become light and your breath paints the room and the colorful droplets come dancing down on your skin until they become sound again, teasing the mind's eye, and you begin to perceive things with your cells, and every sense is infinitely magnified so that the music is now actually absorbed through your pores... yeah, that's how it feels right now.

ECT

Memories flooded back of that bold endeavor, while so many others have been taken away forever in an atrocious act of mental rape followed by forceful abortion of the patchwork child that would otherwise have been stillborn.

Purple Winged Elephants

I'm a human experiment.
I want to see the purple winged elephants fly and dance because I am one of them.
People think that I am a person, but I am an alien on a research mission on this pathetic planet called Earth.
My superiors will make the ultimate decision to annihilate this planet or just let it execute its own fate.

Haiku are fun!

I love to try and pack my ideas into 17 syllables (er... moras). Here are some of the Haiku I often write:

Crazy Eyes

crazy eyes to see
the darkness of my poor soul;
but sometimes it shines.

Dreams

all my simple dreams
are a manifestation
of my subconscious

Spinning

Portuguese:

quero desligar
o liquidificador
acabou a luz

English:

i want to turn off
this blender, oh, it's insane
and the lights are off

Fall running

feet above the ground;
what a wonderful feeling!
stepping on dry leaves.

Just because

the sun shone today
for a distinctive reason:
so you could see it.

Tuesday morning run

smell the donut wind?
knocks me out every tuesday.
you can't say maybe!

My thoughts are tortuous, bizarre, loud, scary.

Sometimes there's beauty in them.

Write your worries away...

Tools for creative writing

I am not constrained by what is.
Or by what you think is, anyway.
I am not compliant.
I am a rebel.
I do not want to be spoon fed thoughts to think.

How about you? Do you keep a journal?

Reply

RenaissanceWoman2010 Feb 2, 2012 @ 11:31 am | delete

I have journals and notebooks all over the place. I especially love my random notes. Always interesting to come upon an old notebook filled with random insights, thoughts, questions, and other ramblings. Enjoyed leaving through your notebook. Always fascinating to run around in someone else's mind. Thank you for your openness.

Reply

Ruthi Jun 3, 2011 @ 9:26 am | delete

I keep a "gratitude journal" on my coffee table for myself and anyone else, including visitors to my home, who may wish to jot down a thankful thought.

Reply

bjslapidary Mar 26, 2011 @ 7:11 pm | delete

Great lens. I can see you have very interesting journals.

Reply

Margo_Arrowsmith Mar 19, 2011 @ 6:48 pm | delete

Really, really cool, I love it

Reply

Senora_M Dec 3, 2010 @ 5:19 pm | delete

Nope, I don't really keep a journal, but I take a lot of pictures and do scrapbooking. A little different I guess. Nice lens!
Oprah's Favorite Things of 2010

Reply

VickiSims Nov 24, 2010 @ 9:02 am | delete

No, I don't keep a journal although it is a good idea. I do keep a notepad with me and write ideas and notes to myself all day long.

Reply

fargasch Nov 24, 2010 @ 9:07 am | delete

My journal is more like a collection of ideas and notes, too. Sometimes it will have longer entries, sometimes more creative entries or drawings, but most entries are notes that I jot down throughout the day. Thanks for visiting!