my collection of funny quotes

1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic by 13 people | Log in to rate

Ranked #103 in Humor, #8,502 overall

Not So Serious Quotes

I am starting a collection of funny quotes from various people.
My hope is that it grows to be quite sizable.

I would appreciate any quotes that you can post in the Guest Book, providing that they are clean and funny. Thanks.

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Quotes From A Woman's Point Of View 

I have always wanted to be somebody,
but I see now I should have been more specific.
-Lily Tomlin-

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to
read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
-Phyllis Diller -

I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot.

-Marilyn Monroe-
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Quotes From A Very Funny Guy 

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
--Rodney Dangerfield

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked
at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
--Rodney Dangerfield-

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield -

More Quotes From Women 

type=text"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."
- Katharine Hepburn-

"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her."
- Agatha Christie-

A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-Mae West-

Never go to bed mad.
Stay up and fight.
-Phyllis Diller-

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Funny Quotes From Old Ben 

There are three faithful friends -
an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-Benjamin Franklin-

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage,
half shut afterwards.
-Benjamin Franklin-

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Benjamin Franklin-
Franklin

Quotes From Woody Allen 

A stockbroker is someone who invests other
people's money until it's all gone.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away.
They make it into television shows.

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And A Few More Not So Serious Quotes 

Everything is changing.
People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
-Will Rogers-

Of course I believe in luck.
How otherwise to explain the success of some people you detest?
-Jean Cocteau-

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Great Value To Be Found Here 

Do You Have Any Funny Quotes To Share ? 

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by poutine

Another Canuck who loves her country.My interests are in reading, walking, internet marketing . I'm also completely addicted to Squidooing.

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