Odds and Ends

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Odds and Ends

The title says it all. This page could have anything on it including the kitchen sink !!!

Surely, you will find something here to amuse or entertain you. If you can't, perhaps you are a lost cause - just like me.

This page will be up-dated often so you might want to consider book-marking it ... maybe not ?

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Poking Fun at Americans

1. I was in West Virginia and asked someone what road to take to get to East Virginia. Now wouldn't you'd think a local would have a rough idea which direction was east?

2. Americans have their capital in Washington, DC ... so why not have Washington DC in the state of Washington?

3. If New Hampshire, New York and New Jersey are all in the North East ... why did they leave New Mexico in the South West.

4. Now, take Alaska for example - you don't see us Canadians isolating one of our provinces. We can get from one province to another without tresspassing over someone else's territory.

5. All their money looks the same. Don't they realize blue is for $5, purple for the $10 bill and green for $20.

6. Ask them what a loonie is and they will tell you a crazy person. NO WAY . it's what we call our Canadian $1 coin.

7. For the most part, Americans do mind their own business and most do stay south of our border (except Alaska of course). But why the heck is Detroit, Michigan north of Windsor, Ontario. Don't believe me - Google it!

8. SLAM DUNK YOUR JUNK - Americans do their slam-dunking in a basketball net. We do ours in a trash can and it doesn't fall out!

9. One day a Canadian took the red border on the right side of our flag and switched it with the red border on the left side of our flag. Every American who saw it asked what country owned the new flag.

10. An American arrived in Toronto in July with a sets of skis because he heard Canada has snow all year round. Well yes we do ... but not in Toronto.

10 Important Things To Know About Canada

(1) There are about 34,000,000 of us and we are not all related. We do not all live in igloos - in fact at least 10% of us live in houses with indoor plumbing.

(2) Most of us speak English, some speak French and even some speak something most of us don't understand - ask any Newfoundlander !

(3) Yes, we do have polar bears - more than any other country in the world but no, they do not roam into our cities.

(4) Our beer is better and stronger than American beer - Yep, that's a fact !!!

(5) We have telephones, radios,TV's and even the Internet - just got the Internet 2 years ago and we are still learning to use it. That's why you don't see many of us yet.

(6) Our 3 biggest cities are Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal (that's the French one). I live in Haifax - a city with a populaton of around 400,000 but none of us work.

(7) We have a train system that goes from coast to coast on a track that goes unbroken all the way from British Columbia to Newfoundland. However on the Newfoundland portion, it is recommended that you bring a diver's tank with you.

(8) We have no jails here as no one commits any crimes - we are just too lazy.

(9) 30 % of us can read and write - but I am not one of them.

(10) We are a friendly people with a sense of humor and we all would give you the shirt of our backs except most of us go around naked all day.

Now you know a little more about Canada. Aren't you glad you dropped by ?

A Simple Yes or a Simple No

1. Are there 31 days in September?
2. Is Wales on the same island as England?
3. If Norway wanted to invade Finland, could they do so by land?
4. Are there any elephants in Canada?
5. Was the Boston Tea Party really in Boston?
6. If a mouse could eat a lb of cheese in 1 day - would it take 3 mice 3 days to eat 3 lbs of cheese?
7. Did Al Capone die in 1948?
8. Did John Williams Booth really shoot Abraham Lincoln?
9. Was Blackbeard the Pirate's real name Edward Teach?
10. If you add up all the numbers on a pair of dice, would the total be 42?
11. Is Toronto the Capital of Canada?
12. Was Wilson Churchill ever the Prime Minister of Great Britain?
13. On a Monopoly Board - if you were at Baltic Avenue and threw a 5 - could you get to Pennsylvania Avenue?
14. Did the Japanese attack Pearl Harbour on Dec 9, 1941?
15. Do Palm Trees actually grown in England?
16. Did Judy Garland portray Alice in the Wizard of OZ?
17. In the novel War and Peace - are there 1,428 pages?
18. Did the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz want to be brave?
19. Is Spanish an Official Language of Canada?
20. Is the Jack of Spades a One-Eyed Jack?
21. Does an Octagon have 6 sides?
22. Did Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris ever play on the same team?
23. Is it true that the Toronto Maple Leafs beat the Winnipeg Blue Bombers 12 games in a row?
24. Does the planet Jupiter have 3 moons?
25. Is the Zodiac sign Leo the 7th sign of the Zodiac?

The Answers to Yes or No

The Answer Yes applies to all the follwoing questions: 2, 3, 4, 5, 9, 10, 15, 20, 21, 22 and 24.

The rest are of course NO !!!

Tomato Mush on Toast

type=textToday, we will start with a Basic Canadian Dish.

We'll keep it simple (especially for you dumb city-slickers).

It's my famous Tomato Mush on Toast. Here's the recipe (I've typed it slowly 'cos I know some of you can't read quickly):

Ya get yourself a large can of diced tomatoes (as opposed to carded ones) - then ya get 4 to 6 eggs (you'll have to judge how much juice you want, the more eggs, the less juice). That's the basic concoction.

To that you add the extra ingredients that you like - I suggest onions, ground pepper and some small pieces of green pepper. When ya got it all in a bowl, ya beat the heck out of it (make sure the eggs are out of the shells first).

Then pour it into a frying pan that has a small bit of oil (cooking oil, you dummy) and turn the burner on (duh ...). Place frying pan on burner and wait until the eggs, tomato and stuff start to come to a slow boil.

Now you're ready to pour it over some toast (I assume you know how to make toast). For those of you who find that the tomato mush slides off the toast - use a plate (shhhheeeeee).

Enjoy !!!

Who or What are You Anyway?

type=textIt is my belief that you have always existed and always will. I don't mean in the human sense but in a cosmic sense. The human mind is limited in its capacity to conceptualize what life is all about.

Consider a person driving a car - it is not the car that moves forward or backwards nor is it the car that arrives at its destination or causes an accident along the way. Neither does the car injure others on its journey. It is the person who is driving the car.

Now, take that idea and use it in conjunction with you, the human being. Your body is the vehicle but something inside is driving it - that something is your soul. It is responsible for where you travel and for any dents and accidents along the way.

Your journey on your road of life can be easy or bumpy - much of which depends upon the attitude and objectives of the soul within.

The Complexities of Being Human

A Long Narrated Introspection

As I await tonight''s winning lotto numbers, I thought I would take a look at what my human experinece is and has been. As I know only of my own perspective, I can only speak in those terms but I write this not to "blab" to the world who I am but to see if others are somewhat like me.

I try not to take life too seriuosly though I can be serious when the occasion calls. for it. Physically, I am out of shape and don't have a great deal of energy but I cannot say the same thing for the mind. My mind is usually on over-drive and I am rather like a sponge. I must absorb all the knowledge I can in as short a space as possible.

This unquenchable thirst is, in a way, a liabilty. As my mind is diffiuclt to slow down, it cause me restless nights. My mind is anxious to absorb and explore it's limitations. Given the choice between a strong body or a strong mind, I would pick a strong mind every time. For, in my view, the mind will survive death but the body will not.

I fear I might ramble in this narration because I am not even sure where I am headed with this. I guess basically we are all the same but yet have different strengths and weaknesses. As I look around me, I see we all have different agendas and goals in life which is a good thing. How boring life would be if were were all clones of one another.

When I was younger, I was confident that I was fairly intelligent. Now at 57, I feel I have taken an intellectual slide. When I see young people as bright as they appear to me to be and I couple that with technology that I cannot even hope to catch up with, I began to feel inferior. Now, don't get m wrong, I still like who I am. I just wish I felt smarter than I do.

The best way for me to examplify this is to say I see myself as a toddler still in diapers and waddling onto the stage with a tambourine. On that same stage, is the London Philharmonia Orchestra about to give their interpretation of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. Like man , what am I doing here?

So it goes with today's technology, especially as it relates to the internet which I find myself in the midst of most hours of any given day. Being retired, I have lots of idle time and perhaps I should be doing what I preach by giving my time to charity. But alas, I waste hours and hours on the internet which is largely unproductive. My main activity as most of you know, is an attempt to be zany and funny. Do I suceed? Depends on who deals with me. Some have no time for the foolsihness and others like the "break"

Am I happy? I think so. I guess we all try to live our lives in the best way which suits us. The key I think is to do what feels right, what feels natural and listen to one's inner voice. So long as we don't infringe upon others and don't push our views of the world upon someone else.

For me, I have some strong passons. Some are Kiva, World Vision and Animal Welfare. How I wish I could convince others that they can spare $25 to lend to someone in a developing country or send $35 monthly to help a feed a child, give him or her an education and provide them with medical services. We, in these industralized nations have so much ..far too much actually and to shave off a little bit of our wealth to help someone else less fortunate then we are, seems to me, to be the proper thing to do. But I cannot force others who do not see things in the same light as I do.

It is near time to check my Lotto numbers. I guess all I did here was ramble. Will I ramble again ...does anyone really care what my viewpooint is? God only knows - we shall see.

Guardian Angels

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Kangaroo Overpopulation Problem Solved

type=textMelbourne, Australia
Down Under News
Mid-Day Report

The Australian government announced today that they will be taking decisive action to solve this country's kangaroo problem. The Minister of Agriculture Tom Hawkins and Brian Ward, the Minister of Finance discussed the plan in an exclusive with our reporter, Sue Chapman.

The kangaroo population is predicted to exceed the Australian population within the next five years. The destruction of crops because of the kangaroos, has been costing the Australian farming industry over $100 Million year. A plan is now in place to eradicate the problems of too many kangaroos.

Hawkins stated that a trapping program is in place designed to capture 80% of the kangaroos live and in a safe and humane way. After capture, all will be sterilised before being sold to foreign countries. The government is spending $5 Million on advertising world-wide to develop a market for our kangaroos. It is anticipated, because of absence of indigenous kangaroos outside of Australia, that the demand will be high.

Estimates are that the kangaroos will be sold at an average cost of $300. Selling price will be determined by the age and sex of the kangaroo. The male kangaroo is considered to be the more docile but does not live as long as the female.

Those who decide to buy kangaroos can either put them in a zoo, adopt them as pets or allow them to roam freely provided that an arrangement as been made that no hunting is allowed in the purchaser's area.

The Australian deficit is at an all time high following the four year Fish War with New Zealand. The Minister of Defence believes the deficit can be completely erased within two years.

Perplexing Questions 1 to 10

1. If a broke a tooth - could I repair it with toothpaste?
2. If a Wildlife Photographer went out and shot a Pride of Lions - would he have violated the ESPA (Endangered Species Protection Act)?
3. I wonder about buying a blanket made in China and giving it to a tribe of North American Indians - would they be able to understand the Smoke Signals?
4. Why did I buy a pair of trousers but only got one?
5. If I struggle through life and only manage to accomplish a few goals, will some team in the National Hockey League give me a contract?
6. If I joined the Navy to see The World, why is it that I only get to visit countries that border the ocean?
7. If I adopted a Siamese Cat - what language would he speak?
8. Why is a Boxing ring called a Squared Circle?
9. Does the fridge light stay on after the door is closed?
10. What would happen if I mailed a letter to Sydney, Nova Scotia here in Canada but put the stamp upside down - would it be delivered to Sydney, Australia?

The Great Idiot Test

Each question is worth 1 point each - that way, you should be able to easily figure out your score. No, you don't get a point just for answering - you have to answer correctly. Got that - Good - let us proceed:

1. A Big Eskimo and a Little Eskimo are walking on the snow. The little eskimo is the big eskimo's son but the big eskimo is not the little eskimo's father. Who the heck is the Big Eskimo?

2. How can you drop a raw egg 3 feet onto a concrete floor without breaking its shell?

3. Look, you little worm , you have a 10 volume set of books on a shelf numbered ... in order ... 1 to 10 and each book has 100 pages in it. Now you start eating at Page 1 of Book One and finish your feast at page 100 of Book 10. How many pages did you eat, you little pig?

4. You just fried youself a wonderful egg sandwich and made sure you ate it before anyone came home. Now your teeth ache and you have to go to the hospital. Why?

5. My grandpappy use to dig for gold up in the Klondike. After a week of hard work, he went into Dawson and ordered a beer at the local pub but they wouldn't serve him - Why?

6. A monkey falls into a 30 foot hole. Everyday he manages to climb up 3 feet but every night he falls back 2. When does he finally get out of the hole?

7. A farmer is having trouble with crows eating his corn. One morning, he saw 20 crows up in a tree - out came the shotgun - BANG - he blew 3 to smithereens. How many crows were left?

8. Early one evening (before the sun went down), a bear was in the farmer's strawberry patch - yep, the same farmer. Now this farmer is an excellent marksman - gets a beed on the bear - fires - doesn't hit the bear. Why?

9. Why won't the Canadian Governement allow anyone living in the USA to be buried in Canada?

10. Now to the Subject of Planting - The brunette's tulip bulbs gave her some real pretty tulips in the spring. The redhead had nice onions as a result of the bulbs she planted 2 months earlier. The blonde's bulbs didn't do so well. Why?

427 Joke Street

There are more cigarette butts in the Smokey Mountains than anywhere else in the USA

I just got back from a visit to the hospital - my pet duck Greasey got out of his pen the other day and I couldn't catch him in time before he flew upside down and quacked up.

Then things went bad from worse - I went outside and checked my gardens - flowers are great and the tulip bulbs grew. My veggies are doing fine as well - healthy onion bulbs produce tastey onions. But I didn't do so well with the light bulbs I planted.

An American recently bought a new computer . took it back and complained to salesperson because .. he found a mouse in the box.

Got fired from my last job as an elevator operator - I couldn't learn the route. Didn't matter though - the job had too many ups and downs.

Opened up a Chinese Fortune Cookie ...message inside said " Do not look for fame or fortune in Chinese Fortune Cookies" ....

I write to a penpal in England but she's mad with me now. Says she doesn't like the way I write - apparently I write too fast for her to keep up.

I woke up early this morning - stood in front of the mirror but I couldn't see myself. I had my eyes closed.

My whole family was bad. Always getting in trouble except Jake, my youngest brother. Mother said he could walk on water - but one day we had to go fetch him out of the ice.

Never buy a wooden boat. Got a leak on the starboard side and what a leak - had to act really fast - so I made a hole in the port side so the water could drain out.

My stupid brother-in-law that lives in Newfoundland. He's a Moose Hunter you know. Last year he came across a set of tracks and followed them for half a mile - then got hit by the train!

I'm a history buff. The other day I was reading Geronimo's obituary. He was an avid tea drinker - 50 cups a day they say. He died in his teepee.

That stupid kid of mine. Got kicked out of Little League this summer. Always in trouble - got caught stealing 3 bases in one game.

The Likeable Murderer who "Popped His Bitch"

Travelling across Canada on a Greyhound Bus Pass, you can meet some interesting people. My wife and I did just that when we were at the Sudbury bus terminal waiting for a bus to take us to Ottawa. Sitting next to us was a young man about 35 years old. Small talk ensued and during it, he told us he was on his way to Toronto as he had just got out of prison. That came as no surprise to me as he had amateur tattoos across his fingers. Said he did some time because he had "popped his bitch". And to top it all off, he said he had been married several times and the woman he loved the most was the one he "popped". There was a certain honesty and boyish charm about him.

Waiting for his bus late at night, he asked a lady to wake him when his bus was ready to go. He was tired and had had a few beers. Just before he laid down to nap, he said (to us) that she probably wouldn't watch out for him and he was master of his own destiny. And sure enough, she had to leave the terminal in a rush and did forget about him. Sadly, I would think he is back in prison today as he did indicate he went "crazy" if he drank too much. A likeable scoundrel who obviously studied Prison Psychology 101.

Canadian Bacon

I keep hearing Americans tell me how great Canadian Bacon is. To be honest, I never really thought about it till now.

So I got to thinkin' - why? It could be the fact that all pigs are given a 10 oz bowl of Candian Beer every morning. It might because each pig is spray-bathed with carrot juice twice a week in order that mud does not stick to them. Maybe it it is simply bacause the pigs are in the same compound as the chickens and we all know how well ham and eggs go together.

I should ask Professor Bonehead to do a study on this to see what his conclusions would be. We shall see.

Americana Quiz

So, Americano - you think you know your own country - try this on for size. A 20 question quiz written by a Canuck !!! Good Luck and if this helps, I had to Google some of the answers to make up this quiz but you aren't allow to do so. Correct answers are worth 5 points each.

If you leave your score in the Comment Area of this page and a way for me to contact you, I will share a small part of one of my lotto tickets with you. It is my way of saying Thanks for taking part !!!

Here's the 20 Questions:

1. What was Benjamin Franklin's middle name?
2. The Statute of Liberty was a gift from what country?
3. Easy One - Who was the 1st President of the USA?
4. What is the Capital of California?
5. Where is Disney World?
6. What was the exact date of the Japanese attack on Pearl harbour?
7. Who wrote The Raven?
8. What year was the Great San Francisco Earthquake?
9. Who shot Abraham Lincoln?
10. Who shot John F Kennedy?

11. In what city is the church mission where the Battle of the Alamo took place?
12. Why don't Americans have their currency in different colors?
13. Which state is further north - New Mexico or Idaho?
14. Does the sate of West Virginia share a border with Canada?
15. General Robert E. Lee - was he a Confederate General or a Union General?
16. Americans once had a famous Tea Party - where was it held?
17. Geronimo was the Chief of what Indian Nation?
18. In what state would you find Niagara Falls?
19. Name all the cheerleaders of the Green Bay Packers?
20. Are there any kangaroos in the US?

Answers are in the next Module below.

Answers to Americana Quiz

1. He didn't have a middle name - they weren't common in those days.
2. France
3. George Washington
4. Sacramento
5. Orlando, Florida
6. December 7, 1941
7. Edgar Allan Poe
8. 1906
9. John Wilkes Booth
10, Lee Harvey Oswald
11. San Antonio, Texas
12. Beats Me - Give yourself 5 points anyway !!!
13. Idaho
14. Nope
15. Confederate General
16. Boston
17. Apache
18. New York
19. Who knows - who cares? Give yourself 5 points
20 There certainly are - in zoos !!!

Time Travel

Well they said it wasn't possible but now it is.

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Answers to Great Idiot Test

HEY IDIOT - answer the questions first ....

1. The Big Eskimo is the Little Eskimo's Mother.
2. Try dropping it from a height of 3 feet 1 inch ... the first 3 feet are a breeze!
3. 802 pages - duh ...go look at books on a book shelf and see where page 1 is on first book and last page on book No 10... if you still are confused...contact me.
4. You need to have the egg shells removed.
5. They are not allowed to serve minors.
6. After the 27th night, the monkey has gained 27 feet - only 3 feet from the top. On the morning of the 28th day, he pops out and doesn't stick around until nightitme.
7 Zero, nada. zippo - the others got scared and flew away.
8. The gun was NOT LOADED!
9. Does any country bury someone living in another country. Cripes, wait till they die first!
10. The LIGHTBULBS were broken ???

2009 Predictions

Here are Zut Moon's Predicitons for 2009. Some of them are quite serious and others - well, let's just say they are a a bit off the wall. You will have to figure out which is which. On the serious ones - take note - that over the last 10 years, Zut Moon has been 85 % correct.

1. There will be more bombings in India which will cause India to invade Pakistan.
2. We shall finally receive comminication from an intelligent alien life from Outer Space. They will be transmitting to us the sound track of a Charlie Chaplin movie.
3.A Bill will be introduced in the US congress to make marijuana legal but will not pass until 2010.
4. Canada will have another Federal Election in late February.
5. Alaska will become Canada's 11th province.
6. The Queen of England will step down late in the year and give the throne to Prince Charles.
7. A giant Meteor will hit a major city in France.
8. There will be a 6.3 Earthquake in California in July.
9. Noah's Ark will be reclaimed from a mountain in Turkey.
10. George W Biush will spend 8 months in Iraq looking for WMD`s and not find any.
11. A live dinosaur will be found wandering the grounds of the White House.
12. An American will attempt to cross the Pacific Ocean in a wash basin - he will fail and need to be rescued off the coast near Vancouver, Washington.
13. Canada will abolish the current requirement of an Americian to have at least an IQ of 60 to enter the country. This is to encourage tourism as only 1,000 were able to enter in 2008.
14. England and France will go to war over who has the right to fish in the English Channel.
15. An Egyptiian Pyramid will be discovered in Peru.
16. The US will finally give out all the details concerning Area 51 and will display the alien aircraft and the bodies of 3 dead aliens.
17. The Beatles will get back together and will give a major conert in New York City.
18. Bob Dylan will be awarded the Best Singer of 2008.
19. The US government will provide a subsidy to their citizens for those who are willing to travel to work on horseback.
20. Both Canada and the US will abolish Income Tax and replace it with a Fresh Air Tax. Each breathe of fresh air will cost 25 cents. If you chose not to breathe the Fresh Air... there will be no tax levied.
21. There will be major riots in Spain against the Spanish Governement.
22. Japan will release secret documents surrounding their attack on Pearl Harbour.
23. Vietnam will release 50 Americans POWs.
24. The Virgin Mary will be seen by thousands of people in a small town in Portugal
25. There will be a secret operation planned to switch a chimp`s brain with George W`s but it will be exposed before it can be implemented. Animal Rights groups will be the ones to protest against it.

Remember - You heard it all here first.

Canadiana

Ships of the Halifax Explosion
World's Biggest Explosion before the Hydrogen Bomb.
The Mary Celeste
Whatever happened to that Ship of Mystery?
The Treasure of BLACK HOLE HARBOUR
Pirate Treasure awaits you !!!

Nationality ???

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The Canadian Mountain Kangaroo

canada kangaroo
by Poesis | video info

0 ratings | 354 views
curated content from YouTube

Favourite Activities

Let's see what people like most to do.

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Unusual and Weird Stories

A UFO in Shag harbour, Nova Scotia ?
Or was it just a Flying Cat ...
THE MURDER CASTLE OF H.H. HOLMES
Turn of the Century - Infamous Serial Killer of Chicago
A True Ghost Story - Amherst, Nova Scotia
Download this True Ghost Story which was well documented but never explained !!!
Grigori Rasputin
Mysterious Russian Monk
Weird but Delicious Recipe
Tomato Mush on Toast - Yummy Yummy !!!
The Winchester Mansion - House of Mstery
The Winchester Mansion - The fascinatining story of how and why the widow would not stop building.

Mr Bean's Christmas

mr bean christmas
by asmonaco6 | video info

9,402 ratings | 13,126,721 views
curated content from YouTube

Amazing

You made it this far down the lens.

How do you like this lens so far?

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Great - It's a nice Hodge-Podge of Stuff

LittleTwoTwo says:

Enjoying the ride down the lens .. thanks for asking.

blue22d says:

Really fun and creative lens.

Irenemaria says:

Educating and interesting enough to read more

burntchestnut says:

Lots of fun.

Showpup says:

Love the randomness.

Nah . There is no rhyme or reason here.

 
view all 12 comments

Helpful Cell Phone Tips

5 Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do

For all the folks with cell phones. (This should be printed and kept in your car, purse, and wallet. Good information to have with you.)

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.

Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.
Check out the things that you can do with it:

FIRST
Emergency

The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find
Yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an
Emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to
Establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112
can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.
SECOND
Have you locked your keys in the car?

Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys In the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

Editor's Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked
Our car over a cell phone!'
THIRD
Hidden Battery Power

Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#.. Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone next time..
FOURTH
How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following Digits on your phone: *#06#. A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.

When your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

And Finally....
FIFTH
Free Directory Service for Cells

Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial: (800)FREE411, or (800) 373-3411 without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now.. This is sponsored by MacDonalds.

This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so Pass it on to your family and friends.

Christmas Inspiration

This is a great story to read before Christmas. It makes you realise just
how petty we adults can be some times and just how much we can learn from
children. Just a little bit of thought can make another s life so very much
easier to live. We hope you enjoy this story as much
as we did. Kind regards.

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning
disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that
would never be forgotten by all who attended.

After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:
'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is
done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other
children do.

He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural
order of things in my son?' The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was
mentally and physically
disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature
presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing
baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?'

I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their
team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play,
it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be
accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if
Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing
by six runs and the game is in
the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him
in to bat in the
ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a
team shirt. I
watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart.

The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth
inning,
Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of
the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even
though no hits came is way, he was
obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, Grinning from
ear to ear
as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two
outs and the bases
loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be
next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win
the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but
impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much
less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the
other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved
in a few steps to lob the ball
in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again
took a few steps
forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay
swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and
could have easily
thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that
would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head,
out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams
started yelling, 'Shay, run to
first! Run to first!' Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he
made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled,
'Run to second,
run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and
struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second
base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team who now
had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he
understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball
high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled
the bases toward home. All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way
Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by
turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!
Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on
their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!' Shay ran to home, stepped
on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the
game for his team.

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face,
'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity
into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never
forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing
his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

Living Life Light-Heartedly

Yesterday, a small incident on Twitter reminded me why I live my life the way I do. Someone from Michigan was on Twitter complaining about the cold so I replied to her saying "So, Move to New Mexico".

Well, that did not go over well because the reply I got was, and I quote, "@Christmas_Alf you're a jerk and I hope a hurricane ruins your vacation". Now that clearly says a lot about someone.

A. First - they lack a sense of humor.
B. They jump to conclusions base on very little evidence.
C. They are a vindictive breed.

Now, I don't mind being called a jerk. I don't know this person and neither does she know me. Twitter is in essence a glorified Chat Room and in such an environment - one gets all kinds of people. But to conclude what a person is based on one simple reply - that is sad to say the least.

And not only am I a jerk but I am a horrible person as well. This person also said "just had to block and remove a horrible follower" which probably meant me.

And what is sadder, is that this person from Michigan is so defensive and vindictive that she would wish me a hurricane to ruin my vacation. Now, giving the hurricanes can take lives away, that seem a bit of a drastic reaction to "So, Move to New Mexico".

Does this bother me? No, I can't really say it does. What bothers me most is that someone lives such a negative life that they would respond in such a way to a reply from someone they don't know on the Internet. And to be so vicious and vindictive in their reply to me, I wonder how truly happy this person is?

For me, I try to be light-hearted and humorous most of the time. There is enough stress and unhappiness in this world without having an attitude that adds to it.

Some people, I daresay, need wake-up calls and reality checks.

Historical

Entering King Tut's Tomb, 1923
One of the Greatest Discoveries of all time.
German Battleship - The Bismarck
Everything you ever wanted to know about the German Battleship - The Bismarck
Pirates & Privateers
Lots of information here on Pirates, Privateers and Buccaneers.
Who Discovered Klondike Gold?
There's GOLD in dem der hills !!!

Recipes

Fish Burgers
Sick of Hamburgers - time for a Fish Burger !!!

Gimme Gimme NEVER GETS

The apparrent greed of people never ceases to amaze me and saddens me as well. About 10 days ago, I was very upset by the Ellen DeGeneres 12 Days of Christmas Shows where she was giving away literally thousands of dollars of gifts.

Out beyond our horizons (which seems to be the case as most people prod through lives oblivious) are others less fortunate then us.

I saw the greed once again today when someone (from Twitter) tweeted about her diamond earrings, cashmere sweaters, blogging books, lingerie and vintage R & R T-Shirts. Yes, she did say Me=Lucky but where the hell was her head? In my humble opinion,a tweet such as that shows absolute disregard for the misfortunes and plight of others. Certainly, it did not examplify the true meaning of Christmas.

People with such mentality do not understand what life is all about. Souls of such people have a long long road ahead of them.

Makes me ashamed to live in a country who has such rich resources.

Self Help Links

Self-Hypnosis
An informative link on self-hypnosis.
The Key to Happiness
Here is my light-hearted advice on how to be happy.

New Guestbook

  • LittleTwoTwo Jan 24, 2012 @ 3:29 am | delete
    The Mr. Bean Video made me spit coffee out my nose. This was a hilarious lens, loved it.
  • Zut_Moon Jan 24, 2012 @ 4:42 am | delete
    That is one of my favourites too.
  • Irenemaria Jan 2, 2012 @ 11:42 am | delete
    (3) Yes, we do have polar bears - more than any other country in the world but no, they do not roam into our cities.
    HAHAHA they say this about Stockholm, Sweden too
  • poutine Dec 23, 2011 @ 10:18 am | delete
    Love that one:

    (1) There are about 34,000,000 of us and we are not all related. We do not all live in igloos - in fact at least 10% of us live in houses with indoor plumbing.
  • susan300 Nov 19, 2011 @ 2:13 pm | delete
    I can't believe I read every word. You are just too interesting to click away from. :)
  • Showpup Nov 19, 2011 @ 6:09 am | delete
    I want to buy a kangaroo! :)
  • CruiseReady Nov 5, 2011 @ 1:41 pm | delete
    The 800FREE411 alone is worth reading this entire lens!
  • dryder Mar 2, 2011 @ 8:52 am | delete
    Great information ... great work!
  • mine123 Apr 7, 2010 @ 2:56 pm | delete
    Thanks for all the information you delivered this has kept me occupied I

    hope you have more information in the future thanks cool!

    full length wall mirrors
  • LaraineRose Jun 11, 2009 @ 4:23 am | delete
    I'm coming back. Got reading just a little too late in the evening. See you later.
  • Zut_Moon Jun 10, 2009 @ 12:38 pm | in reply to TheWhistler | delete
    I have updated my lens Kiva - Helping Others. I no longer support Kiva and will likely be removing that lens soon. I cannot support an organization who seems to be trying to make up for US Government shortcomings. The need is far far greater in countries like Cambodia, Afghanistan, Uganda ...

    In my opinion Kiva should not be asking the world to help the richest country in the world. Let that country's Govt' help their own !!!
  • TheWhistler Jun 10, 2009 @ 11:40 am | delete
    I too support Kiva, I would be very much interested in more information regarding your discussion at the top of the page, perhaps you could get back to me or do a lens on it perhaps.

    Efforts appreciated.
  • BevsPaper Apr 1, 2009 @ 6:11 pm | delete
    Great lens! You made me laugh. You made me giggle. You made me think. 5*s!
  • daria369 Mar 29, 2009 @ 5:53 am | delete
    Quite a list of fun things, congrats!! :)
  • CleanerLife Mar 28, 2009 @ 4:59 pm | delete
    I don't know why I should even post anything here since you admit that you cannot read it anyhow! :P
  • AlienAlien117 Mar 19, 2009 @ 1:06 pm | delete
    Zut we all conferred and all of the doctors agreed lad,you are certifiable but not quite insane for a few of us insanity just don't cut it your nuts brother
  • Rewards4life Mar 19, 2009 @ 5:03 am | delete
    Awesome lens! Lots of laughter, I like it. =)
  • sandyspider Mar 17, 2009 @ 7:06 pm | delete
    I enjoyed this very much.
  • luvmyludwig Mar 15, 2009 @ 11:51 pm | delete
    great lens, not finished reading yet, but will come back soon
  • Sarunas Mar 15, 2009 @ 11:02 am | delete
    Yes, your lens is really funny. It made me laugh. ;DD
    5* from my side. Well Done, Dude ;)
  • OhMe Mar 15, 2009 @ 4:06 am | delete
    Thank you for all the laughs.
  • LadyExpat Mar 13, 2009 @ 10:01 pm | delete
    As always, you are the King of Amusing :)
  • JaguarJulie Mar 13, 2009 @ 8:03 am | delete
    A really hilarious lens -- you have got a great sense of humor and style! Tweeted this particular lens.
  • CCGAL Mar 13, 2009 @ 7:25 am | delete
    LOL I enjoyed this! Your mind jumps around like mine - I like that a lot!
  • JohannTheDog Mar 12, 2009 @ 8:07 pm | delete
    No, no, thank YOU!!!! Woofs!
  • vbright105 Mar 12, 2009 @ 8:06 pm | delete
    A great lens! 5* and an angel blessing for you
  • Vacation-In-My-Head Mar 12, 2009 @ 7:59 pm | delete
    I really enjoyed the lens! Thank you.
  • drifter0658 Mar 12, 2009 @ 7:54 pm | delete
    Check me on this...our first prez was John Hanson! http://www.marshallhall.org/hanson.html...as always...best to you my friend :)
  • Joan4 Mar 12, 2009 @ 7:52 pm | delete
    Fun read!! Thanks for the giggles!
  • GrowWear Mar 12, 2009 @ 7:45 pm | delete
    What a turkey! Mr. Bean's -- not the lens. :D ...I'd say keep on doing the lenses you're doing -- the ones you're passionate about. It takes all kinds. There are people out there who don't appreciate you, but it would be a much duller place without you IMHO.
  • Sweetnote Mar 12, 2009 @ 7:37 pm | delete
    Thank YOU!!! Love you ZuttyPutty! SMOOCHES da blonde!
  • avocado Mar 12, 2009 @ 7:35 pm | delete
    aww, you spelled my name right...I'm touched : )
  • Tipi Jan 26, 2009 @ 9:34 pm | delete
    I just wrote you a whole song, refreshed the lens, and it's not here! - Now where do you suppose it went. I'm going to go looking for it, cause darn it was good! ...:)
    Enjoyed the lens....50*'s
  • Tipi Jan 26, 2009 @ 9:30 pm | delete
    I'm reminded of a song right now that an Auntie use to sing to me: Here I'll sing it to you:
    Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep my little buckaroo -
    Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep my little buckaroo -

    When the western skies smile down on you - - -

    Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep my little buckaroo.
  • Dec 28, 2008 @ 1:46 pm | delete
    Cute, fun lens!
  • ucsmiles Dec 24, 2008 @ 2:39 pm | delete
    Loved reading your blurb/lens...always enjoy the humor too:) Will share the cell phone tips with loved ones.
    Mele Kalikimaka!!
  • iMickeyD Dec 24, 2008 @ 10:01 am | delete
    Great work! I enjoyed the read and will track Santa - Merry Christmas Lord of Zuts ;)
  • JohannTheDog Dec 24, 2008 @ 7:11 am | delete
    How fun and interesting! I did now know that stuff about the cell phone, thank you! Woofs, Johann
  • flipflopnana Dec 24, 2008 @ 6:22 am | delete
    Great lens! Thanks for starting my day with a smile!
  • OhMe Dec 24, 2008 @ 4:49 am | delete
    Great lens with some really neat stories and more. I sure enjoyed it!
  • Winter52 Dec 16, 2008 @ 8:58 am | delete
    Loved your 10 Things About Canada... definitely put a smile on my face this morning. :)
  • Ucsmiles Dec 1, 2008 @ 11:28 am | delete
    Scored a 100!!!!!!! Well, 10 points were a given already..right? lol
  • mulberry Nov 29, 2008 @ 10:39 am | delete
    Really? Is there really a Canadian Mountain Kangaroo? Noooo, I though marsupials were limited to Australia??

by

Zut_Moon

I came to Squidoo in November, 2008. I started with jokes, funny stories and quizzes. Since then I have also gone on to helping others with psychology... more »

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