Dealing with office politics and building positive relationships
Ranked #4,366 in How-To, #45,196 overall
So whom would you like to kill at work?
An employee who has positioned to market him/herself on the job and who has assumed ownership is always an asset to the company and a winner. The following strategies will help an ambitious worker excel on the job and deflate most interpersonal tensions involved in office politics.
Softer people skills, emotional intelligence and charm can be much more effective in facilitating career progression than backstabbing and sniping! How many people do you know with real charisma? How many are bullies? Which would you go all out to help? Which would you enjoy seeing fail?
Softer people skills, emotional intelligence and charm can be much more effective in facilitating career progression than backstabbing and sniping! How many people do you know with real charisma? How many are bullies? Which would you go all out to help? Which would you enjoy seeing fail?
Work Hard!
Demonstrate work ethic; dedicated interest and loyalty, punctuality, and as far as possible adherence to the rules and regulations of the company. Spend the major part of the job time producing. It is a misconception that hard work for the company is fruitless in the absence of job incentives or rewards. Once the job is well-mastered and you have developed good work ethics, you now have better prospects. Good managers usually appreciate hard-working employees, (unless viewed as a threat!) and employees tend to be promoted to the role they are already filling. See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil!
Never join others in the persecution of the establishment; your opinion may be presented to the boss as the only voice of opposition (destructive co-workers who are quick to report others never admit their role in initiating an anti-establishment sentiment and will not hesitate to make others look bad before the boss in order to win brownie points). Keep Up To Date!
Improve your knowledge and professionalism (be prepared and ahead by reading about current research findings in your areas of expertise). Be the best at what you do, no matter how small or big the job (obviously easier if well-matched with the work and role) and always let your work leave a mark of excellence.Be the first to try new procedures. People are generally very resistant to change. Once you rise to the occasion and demonstrate adaptability, many people will join you. Management is always frustrated in trying to educate people about new procedures and protocol.
Do Not Brag!
To some extent, let your work and achievements speak themselves while others blow their own trumpet. Good work should be noticed and appreciated by those appreciative of good work! Of course, it will do no harm to quietly point out to the boss what you have contributed and achieved beyond the call of duty (particularly when criticised unjustly or if s/he may be too busy to notice), but once colleagues perceive you as bragging, you may be doomed to failure.
'Difficult People' titles
Difficult People Made Easy: 101 Tips and Techniques for Dealing with Difficult People
The Bestseller by Nancy Slessenger
Dealing with difficult behaviours from colleagues and customers can make your life hell.
* Do you have to deal with negative people who sap all your energy?
* Do you work with annoying nit-pickers?
* Do you have customers who try to bully you or throw temper tantrums?
* Do you work with people who just can't make up their minds and then change them anyway?
If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, this booklet is for you.
In this straightforward easy-to-follow booklet you will discover:
* What to look out for
* Tools that work for dealing with bullying
* Surprising ways to deal with negative people
* Simple steps to get indecisive people to make decisions and stick to them
* Easy ways to deal with nit-pickers
* Straightforward techniques for insensitive, thick-skinned behaviour
* What to stop doing yourself that might be making it worse
Immediate results you can expect when you use The Quick Guide to Dealing with Difficult People
* Improved performance from difficult people
* A happier life
* You will be able to handle annoying, frustrating and difficult behaviour
* You will be able to deal with bullying
In this practical guide you will discover 101 techniques to help you deal with Difficult People. You can change the behaviour of difficult people and this book is packed full of advice for helping you work with them and improve their performance.
Amazon Price: (as of 11/11/2009) 
Understanding Misunderstandings: New Ways to Make Dealing with Difficult People Easy
Amazon Price: (as of 11/11/2009)
Give Others a Chance!
Learn to get along and work with people who appear not to like you or whom you may not like. Work with emotional intelligence; do not personalise problems -- it is not about you, but about work! People communicate at different levels; you do not have to be intimate to work with a co-worker. Learn to know and understand colleagues individually and to not base a relationship on what was said by another person (most of negative attitudes or first impressions are based on somebody else's bias!) Determine to develop a unique, personal, diplomatic working relationship with that person instead of allowing prejudice to govern your opinion. Let Go Of The Anger!
Never hold grudges or be vindictive -- these types of behaviors are always counter-productive! When angry over an issue, admit it to yourself, and then take corrective measures to rectify the problem. Once the problem is resolved, let the anger be deflated and let the problem be history; then move on. The more you bottle anger inside, the more you increase the chances of a regrettable emotional explosion! Try to develop shorter periods of anger when aggravated and let the matter rest as quickly as possible, because anger toward a colleague is likely to adversely impact your own work. Always find ways to deflate and diffuse crises on the job involving you and your co-workers, irrespective of who may be at fault. Put Your Hands Up To Limitations, Mistakes and Development Needs!
Accept your imperfections. When you make error, admit it! The cardinal sin on the job is to blame somebody else for your mistakes (in a dissonant climate, the negative blame culture is pervasive). Use your errors as learning tools for education, and job improvement. This is how you turn your weaknesses into strategies for success. Know your own limitations, and know the limitations of your boss, do your best but know when to stop or ask for help. Your greatest asset on the job is your motivation to achieve and produce. No matter what your job is, always let your work leave a mark of excellence.
Be The Mediator!
Never join hands to persecute a co-worker or a newcomer. One of the most destructive, uncivilised and unethical behaviours on the job is the refusal to accept a new employee. Collective persecution of an employee is commonplace in a problematic working environment just because we need a scapegoat! Indeed, try to be a negotiator and mediator between feuding workers when problems are brewing. However, remember that playing this role makes you vulnerable to attacks by others who thrive on the emotional energy ignited by crisis and who may feel cheated of their kill. Helpful Reading
Secrets to Winning at Office Politics: How to Achieve Your Goals and Increase Your Influence at Work
Amazon Price: $10.87 (as of 11/11/2009)
The Heart of Power: Health and Politics in the Oval Office
Amazon Price: $17.79 (as of 11/11/2009)
100+ Tactics for Office Politics (Barron's Business Success Guides)
Amazon Price: $8.99 (as of 11/11/2009)
Games At Work: How to Recognize and Reduce Office Politics
Amazon Price: $16.47 (as of 11/11/2009)
21 Dirty Tricks at Work: How to Win at Office Politics
Amazon Price: $23.40 (as of 11/11/2009)
Leave Personal Problems at Home!
Do not bring personal problems to work or take out your own personal failures or problems on colleagues. If a professional and you have problems with your spouse, you will seek professional help or talk to a trusted friend. Do Not Denigrate Others!
Those who persecute others are often the ones who do the least on the job (a political strategy to cover their own inadequacies). Many times these types excel and move up the corporate ladder, but because they lack compassion for others, their achievements are always short-lived and they often leave a wake of negativity and dissonance. Never destroy co-workers' work or denigrate them to elevate your status. If well-suited to your work you will excel on your own merit.
Don't be a Drama Queen!
Learn to identify and deal with thrill seekers of crisis. Once a problem is solved, they will create yet another and then another; these chronic pleasure seekers do not stop but continue finding something else to moan and yell about. Know when to time-out with such people. As a rule, as long as these people are kept busy and given numerous assignments, their energies to craft crisis or do havoc will be depleted! Don't react to these people as nuisances on the job, which chronic complainers can be, but consider them energetic people, looking for challenges; a manager should assign them to solve the problems in question! Play the Diplomat!
Avoid bullying and never embark in a shouting match however angry you feel; find a nice and diplomatic way to resolve the problems. Emotional outburst can be counter-productive on the job and verbal confrontation can even lead to other forms of physical violence. Find a neutral ground to negotiate issues with the boss or co-workers. When negotiation fails, learn to compromise; when compromise fails, learn to agree to disagree. Learn to approach others about job related issues without either intimidation or being intimidated.
Understand Yourself First!
When you feel intense anger or hate towards an individual on the job, immediately look inside yourself. True enough, somebody may have created a problem for you but the intensity of your reaction is usually based on emotional amplification by pre-existing problems. Looking inside yourself is not to encourage self-flagellation but to evaluate whether the anger is targeted towards the wrong person or situation. Self-awareness is vital in understanding interpersonal relationships.
Stay Calm!
Learn to respond without emotion to stressful situations. This is not a strategy that is learned overnight; it is a skill which has to be mastered. For example, instead of getting into a shouting match with an irate co-worker, lower your voice; the aggressor may lower his or her voice to the point of sensible conversation. Learn to channel negative energies to positive outlets.
Don't be a Doormat!
You may want to with everybody on the job, but that may not happen all the time. Set a limit on how much you will take from an abuser. Relate problems to such a co-worker in a professional way with a neutral tone of voice. For example, if a co-worker is in the habit of yelling at you, make it clear you don't appreciate such as unprofessional style of communication. If the behavior continues, let others witness it. You can take it to the manager, but try all other diplomatic avenues to resolve the issue and never take a problem to the manager without having two or three solutions for the problem. Classics which stand the test of time.
How to Win Friends & Influence People
Amazon Price: $10.20 (as of 11/11/2009)
Working with Emotional Intelligence
Amazon Price: $12.24 (as of 11/11/2009)
Know When to Walk Away!
Learn to shield yourself from the emotional abuse of such people by limiting interaction primarily to work. If the situation gets too hard to handle because of chaos, ask for a transfer or look for an exit door and find a new job. Do not wait until you are completely broken down (many of my clients have come following breakdowns resulting form politics and abuse). Know the danger signs (your body will tell you) and when to quit. Dealing with "hard nuts to crack" is not easy. Such workers have compulsive obsessive behavior leading sometimes to exaggerated responses to trivial issues. These types of people either have emotional problems or are still emotionally immature. The problem in such people have been tolerated for so long that it is hard for them to change.
Don't Bootlick!
Deal with an ego-driven manager with diplomacy. Some supervisors may believe that they are better than others and that co-workers should be subservient to them, but if you treat your boss as a god, you will pay a painful price because you open yourself to abuse. An effective manager will treat you with respect and you should reciprocate. Consider also that a control freak may in fact be a stressed perfectionist trying to do a job correctly! Maintain a Positive Image with Customers!
Treat your customers with respect and kindness. The emotional intelligence, charm, vision and empathy of the CEO has been shown to directly impact not only the culture of the whole organisation, but also the bottom line productivity of the company! Welcome them with a smile and a friendly greeting. Customers love being recognised and they will feel more comfortable doing business with your company compared to when they are treated like intruders. Never complain to a customer about problems you have in getting things done, it denigrates the quality of your service.
Are You a Bullying Boss?
When providing 360 degree feedback to clients (i.e. telling them how colleagues have rated them), they can sometimes be amazed and hurt to discover that they are perceived as bullies! Often these people are very task-focused perfectionists who micro-manage and control to ensure that things are done absolutely properly. They think they are just being effiicent and getting things done; they do not realise how many people they are upsetting in the process! 'Telling them' may be fine in the armed forces or on the football field, but it does not go down so well in the higher echalons of corporate management, where 'asking' is the preferred style. Softer people skills and emotional intelligence are vital in today's world - many of my clients are referred by therapists specialising in stress-related illness, and many (who may already be in the wrong career) have been 'tipped over the edge' by a bullying boss!
- Are you a bully?
- The Dignity at Work project is working in partnership to find new solutions to bullying in the workplace, jointly funded by Amicus and the DTI. Are you a bully?
- The Perfectionist Personality Disorder
- Law Officer Magazine articles for the police and law enforcement professionals, but pertinent to all micro managers!
- New York Times - Female Bullies
Helpful books on Handling a Bully at Work
The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job
Amazon Price: $11.55 (as of 11/11/2009)
Fighting Back: Overcoming Bullying in the Workplace
Amazon Price: $21.28 (as of 11/11/2009)
Mottoes to work by!
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.
Plagiarism saves time.
If at first you don't succeed, try management.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
We waste time, so you don't have to.
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
Succeed in spite of management.
Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.
Plagiarism saves time.
If at first you don't succeed, try management.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
We waste time, so you don't have to.
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
Succeed in spite of management.
Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
Office Politics - Further Tips and Guidelines
6 ways to say 'No'
9 ways to get your boss to love you
Top ten nightmare bosses
Boss over heard criticism
Burying the hatchet
And more!
9 ways to get your boss to love you
Top ten nightmare bosses
Boss over heard criticism
Burying the hatchet
And more!
- Office Politics in the Workplace: iVillage
- Boss or colleagues driving you crazy? Lost in the maze of office politics? Find your way with these useful tips and resources: iVillage
- I am recovering from a disastrous office party… | Office-Politics
- Dear Office-Politics, I need to recover from a disastrous office party where I got too drunk. Events of concern are as follows: 1. I managed to
- From Dr Hilary's instant health checks to specialist tests designed by GMTV experts | Tests and Quizzes | GMTV
- GMTV tests - dyslexia, stress, being bullied, alzheimer's, depression, anger, positive attitude and more!
Constructive use of politics:
A little bit of manipulation is not necessarily a bad thing if it enables one to get things done to the benefit of all rather than simply oneself! A bit of charm and positive relationships both with those in power and with peers can go a long way; one never knows when one might need those people on ones side!
- Office Politics Can be Positive - milkround.com
- Constructive Office Politics
- The Good Guy's (and Gal's) Guide to Office Politics | Fast Company
- Even when you're out to get something done - not to do someone in - you have to play politics. Fast Company's five-point campaign manual will help you play to win.
- Ways to win at office politics - CNN.com
- Politics in the workplace can get vicious -- and we're not talking about the governmental kind. Rather, office politics, or how power and influence are managed in your company, will be a part of your career whether you choose to participate in them or not.
Who Am I?
- Sherridan Hughes - Career Catalyst
- Chartered Psychologist with 21yrs successful career consultancy experience. Expert in career assessment, career analysis, outplacement counselling and work psychology.
You may like to take a look at my other career and work focused lenses
- Perfectionism? Procrastination? Indecision? Career Paralysis!
- Will you only ever run in races you are guaranteed to win?Many of my clients are perfectionists who take life very seriously and want to check and confirm that they are on the right track. At a recent conference, I mentioned how perfectionism can hold people back and half the audience were smiling k
- Winning Interviews
- There are three kinds of interviews:1. Sieve2. Assessment3. DecisionYou have to be sure about the purpose of the interview, so that you can present yourself in the most positive, constructive way.1. Sieve interviewA preliminary meeting to establish whether your application should be taken further.Fo
- Choosing and Changing Career at Any Age or Stage!
- I am writing this page about Careers Advice because it makes me mad that this is typically so poor in schools, and expensive or hard to find later in life!If we had people doing jobs which they enjoyed and were suited to, they would be happier and more effective, which would obviously benefit not on
- How to succeed in your career
- It is important to know what you represent as a human resource and how that compares with others. You need to look at your job compared with others being advertised. You need to make it easy for your boss by explaining in objective terms why you should be paid more or why you should be promoted!
- Psychometrics in Selection
- Psychometric tests scientifically and objectively sample behaviour and ability. They can predict a person's likely performance in various tasks based on results of reasoning measures, and personality measures can indicate favoured behaviour and likely reactions in different circumstances.
My Latest Offering!
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Really Useful Careers Information Sites
- Top 100 Recruiters | Career & Jobs - Times Online
- The Times Top 100 Graduate Employers is an annual ranking of those organisations, in the private and public sectors, that new graduates would most like to work for
- Explore types of jobs
- Job search, UK. Information on career sectors, occupations and graduate programmes so you are aware of all your options and able to make an informed career choice.
- Inside Careers - InsideCareers
- Specialising to help graduates find their perfect career. For over 20 years Inside Careers has provided the highest quality career information and graduate jobs for thousands of career-minded graduates. Inside Careers - all the information you need to get the job you want.
Relevant Blog Posts from Google (updated every half hour)
- CNN Political Ticker: All politics, all the time Blog Archive ...
- Hillary has shown an emotional side that proves that she is "human" just like the rest of us. Don't fault her for showing her "softer" side, as I've seen grown men cry for less. She may not be what America is looking for to make the ...... I do believe that anything is possible if we set a goal and work together. A pre-requisite of this is that people really understand the issues and act in best interest of the group instead of selfishly. This is amazingly difficult to do ...
- Jonathan Melle on Politics: Denis E Guyer: Neo-NAZI!, ASSHOLE ...
- After six years in the military, Guyer took a job at Crane & Co. as a production worker, eventually becoming a purchasing agent. Until his election to the Legislature, Guyer continued to work at Crane. He currently attends Massachusetts College of ...... Salacious political rumors and whisper campaigns are as old as American politics, but the advent of the Internet has made it more difficult for a candidate to bring them under control. The falsehoods about Obama are the ...
- CNN Political Ticker: All politics, all the time Blog Archive ...
- One quality necessary to be president I believe is to have the courage and strength to "keep on ? keeping on" in the middle of difficult times and she has certainly proven herself over and over in this regard. Was really good to see both her and ...... The pundits and some campaigns have been consistently underestimating the aggregate intelligence of American people, especially African Americans. Fear (whether using Al Queta or the word "fairy tale") and tear do not work. ...
- CNN Political Ticker: All politics, all the time Blog Archive ...
- The joint ticket is a lame consolation prize that she's using as leverage to lure voters to her ? Are people seriously stupid enough she will let Obama take part in ANY decisions once she's the boss? The republicans want her to get the ...... The difficulty is, of course, that it is difficult to be a Vice President under Senator Clinton. It may doom the political future of a VP: you can't be sure what scandals will emerge under the Clintons. There is never one Clinton. ...
I would love to hear your comments and feedback
I am new to Squidoo, so I should welcome all comments and advice. Should you think I am making a good start, then feel free to give me a five star thumbs up!
RickBasset wrote...
Excellent lens! My Wife and I have both had various issues at work with politics, egos, etc. Your recommendations are right on the mark. Thanks for sharing!
*****
Posted February 25, 2009
by sherridan
Sherridan Hughes is a chartered psychologist specialised in career assessment, analysis and counselling - a proven career catalyst. After previous liv... (more)
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