One Vietnam Veteran

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War Is Hell


This lens is all about my husband, David Billingsley, a Vietnam veteran.

He arrived in Vietnam at just 18 years of age in 1969 and served in a combat infantry unit until 1971.

David has never talked about what he went through in the war, but the memories still haunt him to this day.

A few years ago, I suggested that he might find it easier to write than to talk about.

He found that not only was he able to write about Vietnam, but it was actually therapeutic.

He doesn't write often. It sometimes takes him months to tell the story of just one day at war.

David has given me permission to publish these stories and they are the focus of this lens.

Hopefully this will help someone else in their struggle to find peace.

Divine Intervention

The power of prayer

David in Vietnam - 1969


THERE IT IS," they used to say in Vietnam. It was as if an evil spirit were loose, one of the demons, known to the Vietnamese as Ma. Weaving in and out of visible reality, a dancing ghost, it would appear suddenly out of a whirl, shimmer for an instant, and be lost. The grunts came to recognize it. They would say without excitement, "There it is!" with emphasis on the last word, to let their friends know that they had seen it and to be sure their friends had seen it too. It was without form itself, but could assume infinite identities. It was as tiny as a lizard's eye and as huge as the big, black sky. It became events, it became things themselves. It had no strength of its own because it used human strength. It had no life of its own because it used human lives with a brave prodigality. Because it used so many young lives it could assume a youthful, frolicsome aspect. Some people called it the Gray Rat, This Shit, or the Snow. Some called it Mr. Gray Rat. The union soldiers during the American civil war called it the Elephant. That was what going into combat was called then. Please understand how young a lot of these guys were. There youth was a factor in how they thought and spoke. We all had one thing in common we had all caught a glimpse of the Ma. The war's infernal antic spirit. Whether they knew it or not, everyone was looking for a metaphor.

My personal Divine Intervention began on the morning of August 21, 1970, one month after my 20th birthday. Our company set out from Quang Tri combat base headed northeast toward the Ho Chi Min Trail. I asked the lieutenant if we were going back to Khe Sanh, I could ask him questions because I was his personal radio man. I said, "Lt., if we were headed back to Khe Sanh, could you put me on the next chopper out of here?" Because I was a short timer, I had been in the field or country for eleven months, and I did not want to go back to Khe Sanh . He said, "Don't worry, Billingsley, I'll put you on a chopper in a couple of days. Besides, think of it as just another ordinary patrol, a Sunday walk in the park, a country stroll, just another ordinary hunting trip. I said "Ok, Lt., I get your point.", but I knew in my mind that we weren't hunting rabbits. We were hunting CHARLIE and CHARLIE carries an AK-47, and Charlie shoots back and I've had enough of being shot at. The last thing I wanted was to get shot up, with less than 30 days left in the NAM. Just hunting trip my ass. My experience lately, was that we only came into contact with the enemy once or twice a week and those encounters were usually brief. It was the 23rd of August when I experienced something that has been with me for over 37 years.

I've never told this to anyone until now. We were working our way up hill 585 when one of our mortar tracks ran over a landmine, and it blew the whole right side completely up, rendering it useless. The lieutenant said to make sure all the mortars, and any live ammo was put into another track, and not to leave anything behind that the gooks could use against us. I got five or six guys to help get the mortars off the track, I was standing in line waiting to do my part to help, when it came my turn, out of nowhere, I heard this voice say with some authority, "MY TIME!", "MY TIME!" At first, I just looked at him like he had gone crazy. Then with a shove, he pushed me out of line and said it again, "MY-TIME!" I said, "Well hell, if you want to help that bad, go ahead, get you some!"

As I watched him, I noticed that he was wearing new fatigues and new boots. I thought, "Who the hell is this guy and where did he come from?" I had never seen this guy before and I'd been with this unit longer than anyone. He looked Puerto Rican to me. As he turned to leave with the mortars, I received a call from command that they were sending a Chinook helicopter to pick up the APC. Just about that time a very loud explosion rang out. It was so loud it burst both my eardrums. Picked me up and threw me about ten or fifteen feet where I landed in the bottom of a bomb crater that was about twenty feet deep. The guy that demanded it was his time, had stepped on a mine, and it shattered his body from the waist down. I finally regained my composure and as I looked up from the bottom of the crater, the lieutenant was standing there with a mad look on his face. He was trying to tell me something, and I was trying to tell him that I couldn't hear him. That was when the Vietnamese hit us with everything they had.

The Lt. took off running, to find another radio. I started crawling my way up to the top of the crater. When I reached the top, I started looking around to see what was going on. And the first thing I saw was the Puerto Rican lying there. A medic had already checked him out and said he was dead. He covered him up with a poncho. I just couldn't get my mind off this guy. Why did he insist on taking my turn in line? A Huey chopper came in and was trying to land, when two RPG'S went off just over their heads and they got the hell out of dodge. The chopper pilot left and went around to his left to get out of harms way. When they tried to land the down force of the chopper blew the poncho off the little man that had stepped on the mine and suddenly, I was looking him right in the eyes and his eyes blinked! I was stunned. I just couldn't believe it. I called for a medic to check him again, and they tried to tell me he was dead, but I knew better. I saw him blink his eyes. So the medic did as I asked and called for some help. The little man was still alive. A couple of guys ran over to help get him on a stretcher and I saw that they needed one more to help carry the stretcher around where the chopper was waiting.

I came out of that crater like my ass was on fire and grabbed the left side of the stretcher and we took off for the chopper. As we made our way to the chopper, I was trying to get the rest of his body parts on the stretcher with my left hand so they wouldn't drag the ground. We finally got him on the chopper, and they took off headed for the ship. The Lt. told me he died about ten minutes after they left with him.

We called in artillery on the gooks and blew them all to hell. The fighting was over. My mind was still on the Puerto Rican guy. I just couldn't seem to figure out what had just taken place. Where did he come from? How did he get there? Why didn't the Lt. or I hear of his arrival? My father always told me that he was on his knees praying at nine-thirty every morning. Well it was about nine or ten when the fire fight took place that day and I'll tell you right now that because of what I experienced that day on hill 585, I'm a very strong believer in divine intervention. I just wish I knew a little more about the guy. I would at least like to know his name and where he came from. I guess if the Good Lord wanted me to know the answers to all my questions He would tell me. It's been over 40 years and I haven't heard a word. Still waiting.


.........

Rules Of War

Learning to Survive



After the battle, first, you wiped away the mud and the blood, took out your dead and wounded. Then the emotions came out and you began to think about the next time. Combat is the dark and brutal heart of war, where soldiers meet face to face on killing grounds. It is the maker of heroes and cowards and all colors of characters in between. It has been called man's ultimate experience. It certainly was an experience I will never forget.

Combat is noisy, confusing, and very scary. If a man says that he's not scared in a combat situation, he's either a fool or a liar. Combat in Vietnam seems to hold an extra measure of fear and confusion because it was so often fought at close quarters in dense vegetation with a frequently invisible enemy. Much has been written about the big battles of the Vietnam War, like the battles of Saigon and Hue in 1968 and the Siege of Khe Sahn and the fight for Hamburger Hill, but those were exceptional in Vietnam.

Day to day war was fought by small groups of soldiers in small places, nameless battlegrounds where the fight was very close, intense and deadly. In the military there is a rule to live by especially in a war zone: Never stand when you can sit. Never sit when you can lie down. Never stay awake if you can sleep because you never know when your next chance will come. And the first rule of combat is KEEP YOUR ASS DOWN! Stay low and get whatever you can between yourself and the guys who are shooting at you.

When the enemy rounds are coming in, there's no such thing as too much cover. I recall when we came under small arms fire, the lieutenant and I took cover behind some wooden crates, Lieutenant muttered to me, "You realize of course, that if these crates were filled with corn flakes we would be in a world of trouble." I replied "At least they're not filled with live explosives!" Lieutenant said, "You do have a good point there."

Going out into the field in Vietnam could mean a number of things, none of them easy or pleasant. The field was where the war was, where Charlie was, and we, the soldiers of the Red Devil Brigade, went out to find him and fight him. Depending on what kind of outfit you were in, the way to go into the field might be by air, on a boat, in wheeled or tracked vehicles. We were mechanized infantry, sometimes we road on top of the APC (armored personnel carriers), but that was a little dangerous, so we used our own two feet to get the job done. Making our way through the jungle, hauling a heavy combat load through rice fields, across rivers, up steep hills and mountains, through jungles and elephant grass, in mud, sand, or dust, under a cruel sun or in a monsoon rain is what we called "humping the boonies." Sometimes it was a walk in the sun, a Sunday drive, but no one called it that until the unit was back at base camp, because at any point, any number of bad things could happen.

At every step were the myriad dangers of Vietnam, ambush, booby traps, landmines, and snipers. Many combat infantry soldiers like me were sent into the field on their first day in Vietnam and rarely left it until they went home. We spent virtually our entire tour humping the boonies or setting up night ambushes and could count on our fingers the numbers of nights we slept on something as luxurious as a folding cot.

The Army brass called us the ultimate weapon. Infantrymen are the ones who do the dirty work of war. The uniforms and the weapons have changed, but the job of the foot soldier has changed hardly at all. We are the ones who have to muck it out with the enemy at close range, the ones who ultimately conquer and hold or lose the real estate.

In Vietnam, the foot soldiers picked up a new nickname, (grunts) whether in the field with a squad or a platoon or even a battalion, the combat soldier could feel very much alone in the thick jungle and tall grasses. One of the loneliest and spookiest jobs in the army was walking point in Vietnam. It was a tough job but we are the infantry, the grunts, and the life line of the army. The job of the infantry is to move forward, to attack, whether it means crossing an open field, inching up a battle scarred hill, or penetrating the thick jungles where visibility could sometimes be no more than a yard or two. Carry on, soldiers!

Fifth Infantry Division

Lt. Col. John Swaren (ret.), is a man who genuinely cares for American veterans and their families. I will always be grateful to him for being so warm and friendly to a total stranger, making a difficult task much easier to accomplish. I highly recommend visiting his website,
Fifth Infantry Division

DEATH

ULTIMATE OBSCENITY of WAR



The kind of war a soldier experienced depended on where in Nam he fought it. An Army rifleman's thirteen month tour among the densely settled hamlets around Phu Bai bore few resemblances to that of a reconnaissance scout's twelve month tour in the sparsely populated central highlands around Pleiku.

The kind of war a soldier experienced also depended on what he did in it. A slightly built Army combat engineer, with a flashlight in one hand and a .45 caliber pistol in the other, as he crawled into an enemy bunker complex to install explosives, had a very different view of the war than did the infantry soldier hiking through dense jungle, fighting for his life in close mortal combat on a daily basis. No matter what your MOS, you had job to do and the infantry soldier did it well.

WE GOT THE JOB DONE!!....HOORAH!!
DEATH?...What do you know about DEATH?

Well, let me tell you what I know....

DEATH is the ULTIMATE OBSCENITY of WAR!

Most American soldiers who fought in Vietnam were of an age when men believe that death to be a long way off. Vietnam quickly taught us otherwise. The average age of the combat soldier was 19, not 26 as in WWII.

The inevitability of death was forced upon each and every man who fought in the Nam, to be carried with them from that time on. Of course, we all had seen death in our lives, but it had been death from illness, old age or accident, the kinds of death to which young men feel they are IMMUNE. There was NO such feeling in the Nam. In fact, it sometimes seemed that SURVIVAL was just a matter of CHANCE.

Vietnam War Photos Voting Plexo

A soldier's life

Scenes from the Vietnam War

19 year old soldier

1

19 year old sol... 2 points
cam lo village

2

cam lo village 1 point
beach patrol

3

beach patrol 1 point
delivery bird

4

delivery bird 1 point
life in the bush

5

life in the bus... 1 point
home on beach

6

home on beach 1 point
vietnam-warbw

7

vietnam-warbw 1 point
Taking a break

8

Taking a break 1 point
vietnam-war-hill-530-t8328

9

vietnam-war-hil... 1 point
cam lo village

10

cam lo village 1 point
kill team A SHAU VALLEY

11

kill team A SHA... 1 point
photo1

12

photo1 1 point

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  • Reply
    MexicanMike Feb 12, 2012 @ 9:45 pm | delete
    "Outstanding", as they used to say back then, brings back memories,
  • Reply
    ForEverProud Jan 16, 2012 @ 8:37 pm | delete
    Thank you for your service David. Thank you Debbi for helping him tell his story. God Bless.
  • Reply
    debbi_b Jan 19, 2012 @ 6:50 pm | delete
    Thank you so much for the nice comment. I really appreciate it, may you always walk in peace....
  • Reply
    bikerministry Sep 22, 2011 @ 11:46 am | delete
    Thank you so much for your service. Your service brought my liberty. Sincerely appreciate those who take a stand and live their lives for something they believe in. Powerful lens.
  • Reply
    cstronner May 12, 2011 @ 5:26 am | delete
    Absolutely amazing lens. Thank you so much for sharing. Hopefully more people will read this and better understand and appreciate what is sacrificed by soldiers in combat. I try hard to understand, but I never was able to have the honor of serving my country, much as I tried..
  • Reply
    Sam_Johnson Mar 1, 2011 @ 4:42 pm | delete
    Amen.
  • Reply
    junior8rules Feb 16, 2011 @ 6:43 pm | delete
    Another outstanding lens, about "Nam", I know it all to well, what it was like living "in country", hoping you would make the next day, thanks again. a lot of bad memories, but yet a lot of good friends, and "brothers of the cloth" that hung together. Again thanks, I know this was probably painfull for you to talk about, I rarely do.
  • Reply
    Senora_M Jan 11, 2011 @ 3:22 pm | delete
    Hi. Just stopping by your lens. Great lens!
  • Reply
    martialartstraining Jun 18, 2010 @ 7:20 pm | delete
    Hi,
    I want to thank you for sharing this wonderful story!!
    I am so thankful for the price htat they paid for us. We need to be more thankful!!
    thanks for this!!
  • Reply
    Patrick Feb 14, 2010 @ 7:28 pm | delete
    Great Web site.I also have the same thoughts,Served with the 3/22- 25 Infantry in 1969.
  • Reply
    Haley Billingsley Nov 16, 2011 @ 3:48 pm | delete
    I just want to tell u Thank You for serving our country! I am the daughter of David Billingsley. Although we will never really kno what our soldiers went thru..I love reading my dads stories it gives me a hint about what our veterans went thru and I know I appreciate what y'all done for us once again i'd like to say Thank you
  • Reply
    science_fiction_novels_cyberpunk Feb 5, 2010 @ 4:22 pm | delete
    This is a very interesting testimony. I'm impressed, 5*
  • Reply
    GrowWear Jan 26, 2010 @ 10:09 am | delete
    Thank you for sharing your Writings From One Vietnam Veteran. And welcome to Squidoo.
  • Reply
    HALEY BALLENGER Jan 26, 2010 @ 12:52 am | delete
    THANK YOU FOR FINALLY SHARING YOUR STORIES ABOUT VIETNAM... I LOVED READING EVERYONE OF THEM BUT MY FAVORITE IS DIVINE INTERVENTION.. ALL THIS TIME I HAD NO IDEA WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH. I HOPE YOUR STORIES WILL GIVE PEOPLE A HINT OF WHAT OUR SOLDIERS GO THROUGH AND THEY WILL APPRECIATE THEM MORE.. I KNOW I DO.. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU .. YOU ARE A HERO AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN IN MY EYES.. I LOVE YOU DADDY~~ LOVE, YOUR DAUGHTER~~ HALEY
  • Reply
    debbi_b Jan 27, 2010 @ 10:48 pm | delete
    Haley, Thought I would try to reply again maybe it will go through this time.. I would like to say thank you for reading my stories on the Nam war Its good to know that someone cares enough not only to read it be take the time to leave a reply. I love you very much and don't ever forget it.Well I shouldn't worry about that because I will tell you every day that I love you if I have too.. Your highly decorated Vietnam Vet Dad...lol love you Dad....
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debbi_b

My name is David Billingsley and I served two years in Vietnam. The first year I was assigned to Bravo company 1st Bn 61st Infantry from 6-29-69 to 6-... more »

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