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Are you an Only Child? Do you have one?

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From the lens Only Children.

When commenting please remember this lens is to help others.

  • jercow75 Apr 4, 2012 @ 12:10 am | delete
    Being an only is a foreign concept to me, but you do raise many valid points. And I love the wisecracks for questions that come. I have plenty for people who ask questions about my having so many children.
  • candidaabrahamson Mar 28, 2012 @ 1:06 pm | delete
    This is a truly excellent lens. I've spent so much time looking into birth order and its impact on personality, that I totally left this out. And I've also spent much of my life thinking it would be sad to be an only. This is a very up-beat piece, with interesting information.
  • Miska29 Mar 7, 2012 @ 7:01 am | delete
    This lens is really fantastic. I have a son, three years old. :) wonderful time but I often think what is ok and what is wrong. But I think that we must listen heart.
  • sherridan Mar 6, 2012 @ 5:33 pm | delete
    You have raised some good and valid points - we all have our optimum number of children. I was not an only child, so I do not know what that is like. My mother was sadly a very indulged and difficult only, who thought the world revolved around her. Personally, as a single working parent I was really grateful to have twins; I think a singleton would have been exhausting because I should have felt compelled to be giving the child my constant attention. As it was, the twins had each other and I was often superfluous! I loved having two and enjoyed noting their individuality and differences. Fortunately, they are different genders and so different in interests and talents, there has never been any comparisons or rivalry. Selfish, perhaps, but I would have loved more.
  • Christene Mar 7, 2012 @ 1:43 pm | delete
    Nah, having an only isn't exhausting. Only one to feed, bathe, change, hold has to be easier than two!

    3 of her grandparents 'fight' over who can have her when so it's never been just me or dh around. Lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins too, not to mention activities, school, and friends. :)
  • jordanmilesbasketballstuff Mar 2, 2012 @ 1:04 pm | delete
    I'm not an only child but I have one child of my own..His name is Jordan Miles and I love that I able to give my very best and be able to support him in every way..Love your lens!!
    Please come and check my lens - http://www.squidoo.com/jordan-miles-basketball-stuff
  • buttercupguineapig Feb 26, 2012 @ 2:32 am | delete
    I think your lens is fantastic, amazing and thoughtful. You put sooo much work into it! this lens gives me an insight into being a parent of an only child. As I am an only child I find this topic particularly interesting. Your Lens is thought provoking and Informative and I have nothing but praise. I love your Lens (I liked it).
  • buttercupguineapig Feb 26, 2012 @ 2:23 am | delete
    Great lens
    I am an only child!
  • victoriuh Feb 25, 2012 @ 11:30 pm | delete
    I am glad you have the family that you want. I have two kids and that is perfect for me. Far too many families have more or less than they want, so we are lucky. Great lens.
  • EndeavourToys Feb 25, 2012 @ 12:50 pm | delete
    For children, as the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side. I was an only child and my best friend was one of nine children. I was intrigued by my friends household where it seemed there was constant laughter and joking and light hearted attempts to sneak under the radar of frazzled parents. She was envious of my family life style which was relatively calm and organized with plenty of parental involvement (and my own room). Both situations had ups and downs and we both are ultimately well adjusted people because we were loved. There is only one thing that matters in a family, and that is love. If a family consistently provides love and support to one another, the number of children is irrelevant. That goes for families that choose to have no children as well. Peace and contentment comes with the security of being loved and protected. Your life and the lives of your children will not be more or less fulfilling based on numbers. It's the individual relationships and bonds that are developed that will make the difference.
  • raheelmushtaq Feb 25, 2012 @ 10:02 am | delete
    No i am not the only child nor do i have one but i am planning to .. :)
  • eilval Feb 25, 2012 @ 8:26 am | delete
    Thought-provoking and informative subject !
  • Mistel Feb 24, 2012 @ 5:38 pm | delete
    I am an only child and I didn't mind when I was a kid although I sometimes wished I had a sister/brother. Now that I have grown up I very much miss having siblings. I lean a lot on my cousins, but it is not the same. :)
    I can totally see the reasonings behind only wanting a single child and it makes a lot of sense. For me though if I have a choice in the matter I would like at least 2 children.
  • ---Chazz Feb 24, 2012 @ 1:01 pm | delete
    As the parent of an only child (by circumstance, not choice) I greatly appreciate this lens. Thank you.
  • fullofshoes Feb 24, 2012 @ 9:39 am | delete
    I am not an only child but have friends that are. Great lens full of learning... thank you.
  • ptnjust007 Feb 24, 2012 @ 3:44 am | delete
    great lens
  • Netlexis Feb 24, 2012 @ 1:20 am | delete
    I really admire you for making this decision. Far too many people don't think about bringing children into this world and whether is the right thing to do. And usually when they do, it's for all the wrong reasons. Raising a family isn't a numbers game. Whether is one of 10, it's all about the love and commitment you can give.
  • mommafox Feb 23, 2012 @ 11:33 am | delete
    I'm not one, but my husband is. I used to wish I was an only child when I was a child. lol We have 4 children, but I always say, "one is fun! two is work." If you feel comfortable just with one, then I encourage it. Me, I didn't feel my maternal instinct was satisfied until I had my 4th child. Now I'm complete. I do find that my husband really has a hard time coping with a larger family though. He finds it's stressful that there's always kids around, that he can't get away on his own, and struggles with sharing. He hides things at times so he doesn't have to share them. I find that a bit frustrating and strange, but figure it's all part of growing up an only child. I had to share everything, even my bed, so I don't know what it's like to be the only.

    Great lens.
  • myamya Feb 23, 2012 @ 6:55 am | delete
    Very nice lens weel done! squidlikes!
  • MyTimeAlone Feb 21, 2012 @ 8:06 pm | delete
    It's funny, you wanted a single child because that's how you grew up. I wanted three because that's how I grew up. If we had unlimited time to spend with our children we would've had more, but alas, work gets in the way and having more would feel like we were cheating the ones we already had. Great lens.
  • Steve_Kaye Feb 21, 2012 @ 7:31 pm | delete
    Congratulations on publishing a lens on this important topic.
  • curious0927 Feb 21, 2012 @ 6:03 pm | delete
    Very Unique Lens. I've never knew much about this subject, I am one of 8 and Mother to 3. I'm divorced with custody of all 3, at least I have that going for me in the number game. Loved that! Loved the whole thing! Just great. Blessed
  • giraffesandstuff Feb 21, 2012 @ 2:44 pm | delete
    that's a very interesting lens. it really made me think. I also wanted only one child - untill my son turned 4yrs old. and then something changed, I understood that it's not enough for me. I wanted just one more - a baby girl :) well i got more than i bargained for...twins. I now have a 4yr old boy + boy & girl twins. I wasn't too happy to hear that i'm having twins. I didn't plan for a 3rd child. but for some odd reason i now feel that my family is complete. I guess deciding to have an only child feels the same - like a complete family of three. I think it's great that you stand behind your choice - i get same stupid questions as well "isn't it hard to have twins?" "do you get much sleep?". having only one child is definetly a personal choice - one that will make you happy - so who cares what other people think? Koodos to you!
  • Mikhus Feb 21, 2012 @ 5:02 pm | delete
    Yeap, true feeling about compliteness. I suppose my new son will not be an only child in my family. Hope my wife think also in this way :)
  • designsbyharriet Feb 21, 2012 @ 2:27 pm | delete
    I am an only child. My husband is an only child, and my son is an only child. What can I say? We all feel blessed. Thanks for a great lens.
  • embrycreations Feb 21, 2012 @ 11:16 am | delete
    I'm an only child too! May I kindly suggest you place a poll to see how many of your readers are an only child as well or have siblings? Great information, thanks for sharing!
  • earthybirthymama Feb 21, 2012 @ 10:24 am | delete
    Great Lense! Mom of 11 here, can't imagine one, but I can relate to choice. It's funny almost all your reasons "Why would I choose to have an only child?" are the reasons I have more than one. Many Blessings
  • satisnet-tech Feb 21, 2012 @ 2:47 am | delete
    Very nicley shared such a great topic. Really Enjoyed to read and share it.
  • cffutah Feb 20, 2012 @ 7:43 pm | delete
    Wonderful article, enjoyed the time I spent reading it ... *blessed*
  • MissMerFaery Feb 20, 2012 @ 7:31 am | delete
    Really enjoyed reading this! I'm not technically an only child as I have two step-brothers, but I grew up not having much to do with them so I feel like I was. My parents were both only children, and my daughter is currently an only child too! We've not completely decided if she will ever have a brother or sister but to be honest I am perfectly happy with one :) And like you, my partner is also one of four siblings, so it makes an interesting contrast - my tiny family and his huge one!
    I agree very much with what you write here. I never missed having siblings to play with, I enjoyed playing with friends or on my own, My mum was the same, and she remembers having friends who grew up intently disliking their brothers or sisters and being envious of her not having any! Blessed by a Squid Angel.
  • Mujjen Feb 20, 2012 @ 6:43 am | delete
    I am not an only child, and have two myself. But I think it should be your own choice. We are happy like this. The most important thing is that you take care of your kids, whether there is one or many.
  • getmoreinfo Feb 20, 2012 @ 1:07 am | delete
    What a great topic, having an only child really does bring up issues of how this will effect their development and social awareness of others. Great work.
  • Sandy Feb 16, 2012 @ 12:07 am | delete
    Thank you so much for this article. I love your enthusiasm for your family of 3. We have a family of three, our adorable 4 yr old son, hubby and myself and we do have a 4 legged baby, that's the closest to a sibling that my 4 yr old will ever get, and my hubby and I are content with that and most importantly so is our son. He goes to preschool, as he will start Kindergarten in August and he sees so many kids who have to fight for parents' attention or who cannot get time to themselves on account of siblings. I had to have a hysterectomy back last Oct. and I don't regret it one bit, I love being the mommy to my one and only. We are going back to Disney World for a second time with our little man in April to celebrate his 5th birthday. He went for the first time when he was 2, if we had more than one, a disney vacation would be more of a dream than a reality. We love to go up to our big mall and to Barnes and Nobles and Toys R Us when my hubby and I are off on Saturdays and spend quality time as a family, often coming home with a toy and a book or two. We love to eat out and we as a family of 3 can eat out for about the same price as cooking at home, though we cook at home some, eating out is definately a luxury we enjoy doing, my little man does love some Olive Garden!!! I have friends who have 3 and 4 kids and their whole lives revolve around laundry, cleaning up messes and buying food for the week at the grocery store, grocery store is their big weekly outing. I have a friend in particular with 4 kids (3 born within 39 mos) and it's always chaotic, noisy, and she's always stuck at home strapped for cash. She always tells me, "it must be nice", well it is nice, one is all we can afford and one is all we want, we both work full-time (I'm a nurse, hubby is a grocery manager) so on our days off, we treasure it with our little man. Also, my parents beg to keep our little one, they are begging us to go back to Vegas (we went there before our little man was born) one summer so that they can keep our little man, we just may take them up on it soon. With only one child, you have the best of both worlds, you can fully enjoy your child with no distractions and have time as hubby and wife too. My friend with 4 kids has to beg and pull teeth to get someone to watch her brood just so she can go to the dr. We live in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house, so our boy has his own room, own playroom and bathroom. He says all the time, I love my life and my house, he's the apple of our eyes and we just love being a family of 3!!!!
  • naheedahsan Feb 12, 2012 @ 11:53 pm | delete
    Great topic. Appreciating.........
  • hlkljgk Jan 30, 2012 @ 11:20 pm | delete
    great lens. i thought syna was going to be an only child; it's been that way for 6 years, and we've enjoyed it immensely.
  • JackieSonia Jan 30, 2012 @ 6:35 pm | delete
    Great lens. I have always heard the negatives about having or being an only child. It is good to hear the other side of it. You make a valuable argument about being an only child and choosing to have one child. Good information for anyone who also chooses to have only one child. Thanks
  • Light-in-me Jan 30, 2012 @ 6:35 pm | delete
    Interesting topic, people can be so rude. What business is it to anyone how many children a person has or why! I love the one wisecrack you have that the voices in her head keep her company LOL!
    Great lens, I enjoyed my visit.
    Robin :)
  • Ruthi Jan 21, 2012 @ 8:18 pm | delete
    Congratulations to you for making the family choice that is right for you! And congratulations being mentioned in JOY magazine! Blessings and a bit o' sunshine!
  • waldenthree.net Dec 31, 2011 @ 4:55 pm | delete
    Great topic. Appreciating "Only Child" topic. Risks are much lower now so many have fewer kids than one or two generations earlier. Congrad on your high Squidoo Level. Going for my next level, 54. See you again soon. Looking for new ideas and new topics all the time ! Oops, just got one !. Thanks
  • nsixx99 Dec 29, 2011 @ 2:10 pm | delete
    My husband and I both have one sibling however we have decided our son will be an only child. He has lots of cousins and I am sure when he gets older he will have lots of friends. We do worry some about him being lonely but I think he will have it all this way!
  • MissCat Dec 17, 2011 @ 12:57 am | delete
    I cheated and have the best of both worlds! My father has two children from his first marriage that are over 15 years older than me. I never lived with them so I was raised as an only child.

    As an adult I can enjoy the benefits of people to turn to and love as well as belong to. I do have friends I feel as strongly about though. Its not important to belong to just family members, because blood doesn't even matter. I was adopted. People can even adopt each other as adults.

    I thoroughly enjoy my nieces, but treasure having grown up being my parent's focus and joy.

    Wonderful lens! Thanks for sharing.
  • favored1 Nov 16, 2011 @ 2:39 pm | delete
    I am one of seven children, but my husband is an only and is just fine with it. He still doesn't get the "blame" thing. He enjoyed being an only because all the attention
    (good or bad) was on him. He'd have it no other way, and neither would I. God knows who fits everywhere. Isn't that great?
  • Elhamstero Nov 1, 2011 @ 11:39 am | delete
    I'm an only child and I currently have only one daughter. I remember being lonely as a child though. If I got a board game for Christmas or my birthday I had to wait for my parents to play it with me so I think I relied on them for entertainment.
  • Christene Nov 1, 2011 @ 12:45 pm | delete
    That's what friends are for!
  • EMangl Oct 14, 2011 @ 2:37 pm | delete
    i have only one daughter but i don't think she will become an egoistic person as so many think about only childs
  • aesta1 Oct 4, 2011 @ 7:59 pm | delete
    I belong to a family of 5 but one grandchild is a singleton so her summer experience at the cottage gives her a chance to understand what it is to have brothers and sisters.
  • Blessedmombygrace Aug 10, 2011 @ 10:15 am | delete
    You have a very different family than I do, but I really enjoyed your lens. (I am a mom of 7.) I did not vote in your poll, since I believe the most important thing you can give your child is a mother and father that love each other through thick and thin and love Jesus most of all, all the rest follows. Enjoyed your comebacks to Rude Questions. Believe it or not, moms of many get just as many rude questions ("when are you having another? Isn't it about time for more? Do you know what causes that?"). Every child is a blessing whether he or she is the only one in the family or the sibling of many others. Blessed your lens!
  • KathyMcGraw Jul 10, 2011 @ 7:10 pm | delete
    I found this full of wisdom and enjoyed the read. Too many times people think they have to behave like everyone else does in order to be accepted socially. Making a choice to have only one child is up to each couple, and loved reading your comebacks to others rude comments. Blessed :)
  • OhMe Jul 5, 2011 @ 7:30 pm | delete
    My grandson is an Only Child so I will definitely share this page with him. Thank you.
  • smithlights Jun 19, 2011 @ 11:01 pm | delete
    I was an only child for most of my life, then my parents had a bonus child. All they years I was alone, I wanted a brother more than anything. As Gemma, below, says, I was worried about the time my parents were gone and I was alone. Plus, I can't imagine my kids not having cousins!

    Great lens though. Lots of information and well-written.
  • Christene Jun 19, 2011 @ 11:14 pm | delete
    Neither of those are concerns of mine. I'm an only and my daughter has 6 cousins so far. When my parents are gone I won't be alone, I have my own family now, plus my inlaws, extended family, and friends.
  • DonVito Jun 15, 2011 @ 2:57 am | delete
    I am an only child as well! This lens is amazing and very informative to all those who are planning in having an only child.
  • Gemma May 19, 2011 @ 6:18 pm | delete
    Hi,
    I am an only child i come from parents that were both only children and at the moment i have an only child and am seriously thinking of keeping it that way but order of society etc expects you to have more then one! i do get confussed!
    what makes it worse is since i had my scrummy daughter i have lost both of my parnets and i have no family on my side, it is lonely but i am so totaly focussed on my pwn family and friends i am coping, i do ask my self what would i be like if this had happened and i didnt have my own family to focus on, what kind of state would i be in etc but equilly even if i did have sibilings who is to say we would be close and a time like this sometimes inheritance etc can cause a family to split up anyway.
    I am learning to be greatfull for what i ahve and to not always want more.
    but going back to us having more people are so quick to say you dont want your dd to be in the same situation as me etc but hopefully we will bring her up to be a very well balanced adult. Also i ahve a slight blood clotting prob and had a few probs and i feel if something was to happen to me just because i wanted to giver her a sibiling then she cld be without a mum at a young age.( worst case senario) she is everything and more i could ever want and i want to hopefully have a wonderful bond with her be a freind as well as a mum where as i am not saying you cant with more then one but your time is so divided.
    of course there is the finance side of things too, currant financial climet isnt cheap nor going to be. i have thought to myself i may adopt when ours has fled the nest give a poor child a loving home and a chance in this world try and give some thing back but will just see how life goes,
    also we are going to Home Educate her too that does raise eye brows and get commets like " what her being an only child!!" but we meet up nearlly every day on play dates we also have dogs and horses and she see her nanny reg we are rarely at home and she certainly isnt socially deprived infact its useally her that is the first to speak to anouther child or grown up she is very good at sharing and lissening to me if i need to explaine something too her.
    The only thing i wish i had had when i gre up was more time doing thingsd with my parents but they where a lot older and had me late and it was a generation thing not to say we didnt do things and go places but it was a very typicl;e parent V child relationship and prob a lot bought on by me for sure but i hope as i am younger in having our dd i will relate with her on a slightly differant level.
    i love both my parents and miss them so very badley but they have done a wonderful job bringing me up as i can cope with such tragic loss so early in my life and that of my dd.
    so there certainly not any problem with being an only.
    one last note they do say you can choose your friends and not your family and that is true on the basis i have made up a very close nit circle of friends that have become my family. x
  • charity7 Apr 30, 2011 @ 7:46 pm | delete
    Thanks for the lens on this topic. I have an only child who is now 13. Sometimes he wishes he had a brother I guess there are pros and cons to being an only child. Thanks for the list of famous people who are an only child. Sometimes these kids are the most successful in life.
  • RetroMom Apr 26, 2011 @ 11:32 pm | delete
    I admire your courage to stand what you believe in and I do agree you have a point. There are a lot of advantages and disadvantages of being an only child just like those who belongs with 3 or 4 siblings. I appreciate your honesty this is a great lens, it lets your readers view this side of perspective. Well done!
  • UKGhostwriter Apr 8, 2011 @ 4:57 pm | delete
    fantastic lens -well done
  • WordCustard Apr 5, 2011 @ 2:15 pm | delete
    I had never seen this before and was so glad to chance across such a perceptive and positive discussion of the one-child family -- with a dash of humour too! The comebacks to nosy questions made me smile. People can be very judgemental, whether you have no children, one child, or I imagine also a lot of children (i.e. anything outside of the norm). I was not an only child and I don't have an only child but I still agree with so much that you say here and especially that no child should ever be brought into the world simply because the first-born wants (or it is imagined that he or she wants) a little brother or sister to play with. Not all siblings get along and they can have very different personalities. I believe each child should be wanted and loved as a unique individual. Delighted to be able to bless this lens.
  • Jewelsofawe Mar 29, 2011 @ 2:44 pm | delete
    I am an only child. Very well done lens! (I have been to it before, but I came by to bless it)
  • wrylilt Mar 13, 2011 @ 8:03 pm | delete
    Great lens! I'm an only child and so far have one daughter (although I'd like more.) Growing up I always wanted a kid brother or sister but I realized as I grew older that being an only child was awesome. I was homeschooled through primary school, which I don't think is a good idea for an only child, however.
  • Amy Feb 17, 2011 @ 9:59 am | delete
    So glad to have found this! My only son is 11 and we couldn't be happier as a family of three. My husband is also an Only, and I think he turned out pretty great, too. :-)
  • heidishome Feb 13, 2011 @ 1:18 pm | delete
    Nice lens! I have two but I always thought one would be very special too! I think it is all personal preference! I love the section with polite, wisecrack etc. I think too many people offer their opinion haphazardly. Blessed!
  • flowergardener Feb 12, 2011 @ 10:44 pm | delete
    I have an only child :) (he's 29 now!) You're 'spot on' with the statements a parent receives from others!
  • ewguru Feb 3, 2011 @ 10:55 pm | delete
    great Lens I guess ones children are never to young
  • raosrinivas Jan 25, 2011 @ 3:37 am | delete
    A beautiful lens with true love on kids, your daughter is so lucky. Thanks for sharing.
  • Titia Jan 17, 2011 @ 11:36 am | delete
    I'm not an only child and we have two daughters. I would have liked to have four or five children, but due to circomstances, it just didn't happen. I do agree with you that there's in principle no difference between 'only' and 'not only' children. How a child is or act, depends entirely on how parents raise their child or children.
  • Philippians468 Jan 14, 2011 @ 12:18 am | delete
    children are precious, regardless the number! cheers
  • bakerwoman Jan 12, 2011 @ 11:54 pm | delete
    I am one of five children. My son is an only child. Great lens!
  • lasertek Jan 3, 2011 @ 8:12 pm | delete
    We do have different choices in life. I have been raised with other siblings and I felt it was good to have the same with my own family. Whatever makes us happy & what is given is the best that we can have.
  • Serenia Jan 1, 2011 @ 8:21 am | delete
    I was not an only child. I grew up with 2 siblings. My spouse has 3 siblings. We have an only child but it was not by choice. We would have loved to have had 2 kids, but our son is destined to be an only child due to medical misadventures.
  • ErinElise Dec 30, 2010 @ 4:54 pm | delete
    I am an only child and very glad to be. I have four children and I love my kids, but the house is never quiet and I long for some peace and quiet. My oldest son was an only for eight years until I got remarried and then the quiet was gone. : ) I bet he misses it too. I don't regret having more but I certainly had no idea how it was going to be.

    I really enjoyed your hub. You are a great writer.
  • VickiSims Dec 4, 2010 @ 5:23 pm | delete
    I am not an only child - I have one brother and I have 2 children, But after raising 2, I definitely believe in quality over quantity in parenting and see nothing wrong with having any only. I especially enjoyed your comebacks to rude questions! Blessed by a Squid Angel.
  • AWildDog Dec 1, 2010 @ 5:03 pm | delete
    I'm not an only child but with my brother being 16 years older than me and my sister 18 years older than me, in some ways I am and I grew up as one. So I guess I see things both ways - I think it's a personal decision and I don't think anyone is a bad parent for choosing to have one or several children - as long as they provide the needs of the children they have.
  • Pastiche Nov 23, 2010 @ 2:35 pm | delete
    I am the eldest of 6. I often wished I was the only child when I was a kid. I had an only child for 8 years, then unexpectedly had another. I often said I had two "onlies" because they were so far apart. They became closer as adults, but really had not much to share as children. The older daughter now has two children, while the younger one is le childaning strongly to her first child being an only. She'll appreciate your insights in this lens ...
  • lisakleinweber Nov 16, 2010 @ 5:35 pm | delete
    I am not an only, but my son is :) so far. He's 7. He was so strong-willed as a baby and one year old (and two, 3, and 4 year old) that I was scared to have another. lol. he's great now.
  • mukunda22 Nov 13, 2010 @ 7:32 am | delete
    I wonder why there's what I see as a stigma against having an Only Child? I love your answers to some of people's rude questions. "What you think of me is none of my business!"
  • Marie Nov 7, 2010 @ 10:30 pm | delete
    I am a parent of an only child. When we were about to have the one and right after we had her, we both talked about how one would be enough. Then when she was 2 weeks old we found out our only had cystic fibrosis, and right then and there I felt as if our decision to have or not have only one was taken away from us. The only way we could have had a "healthy" second child without cystic fibrosis would be to go through pre-genetic diagnosis and then IVF - we needed a little help to have our first, but did not havce to go the route of IVF. Anyway, I think we MAY have decided to have another one if it just happened, but we did not want to have to DECIDE to have another one. We knew we could not emotionaly handle another child with cystic fibrosis so couldn't just let a pregnancy happen, but I also could not go out of my way to have a "healthy" child - how could I give another child a chance my only child never had? Something tells me I would not have decided to have more children, but I will never really know. I think I always just wanted a second chance at a different beginning with the one I do have, but I couldn't love her any more so I am not sure what I am looking for. I know this forum is to help others, but I think sharing this has really helped me. But I do hope my story hits a chord with someone and helps another feel that they are not alone.
  • oztoo Oct 28, 2010 @ 3:26 pm | delete
    I'm an only, but I have 2 "only" children. Well they were born 20 years apart so they were raised as onlies. They've both grown up to be great adults. Love this lens.
  • Margo_Arrowsmith Oct 24, 2010 @ 7:16 am | delete
    My daughter is an only child, and has done very well. But I was happy when at 9 she got a 1/2 sister. She would have been better off then and now without that.

    I especially loved the mother of only against Bush group! Good bunch of women!
  • Margo_Arrowsmith Oct 24, 2010 @ 7:14 am | delete
    My daughter is an only child on my side, she also has a 1/2 sister nine years younger without whom she would be better off (I remember being happy about it so she wouldn't be an only child, I was wrong)

    She is doing very well, although has just had her second, but at 39 and that is another story! :-D Nicely done lens and I love the single mother/Bush group! lol
  • cmcintyrejackson Oct 4, 2010 @ 11:38 pm | delete
    Fabulous lens - we have an onlie - best family decision ever!
  • darciefrench Sep 30, 2010 @ 6:08 pm | delete
    Youngest is an only by virtue of elder sibs moving out. We're the "3 musketeers"- she thinks she's one of us, not "one of the kids" ;)
  • Ashly_Rain Sep 25, 2010 @ 2:35 pm | delete
    Wonderful lens. I'm an onlie and it's great to see so many thoughts that parallel my own (not all, but enough). I especially love your "Comebacks" section! One thing - your poll about the most important gift is just too hard for me; I can't choose one. You provide perfect choices, which makes it too difficult to choose. Love the lens!
  • Tipi Sep 25, 2010 @ 1:11 am | delete
    The greatest gift of all is love.
  • toriphile81 Sep 14, 2010 @ 6:03 pm | delete
    I am an only child and so is my mother. Growing up I got to take piano, violin, voice, harp, dance lessons. I played softball and baseball, went to numerous club activities, horseback riding, etc. Like you, my parents paid for my schooling, and a great deal more. I have no doubt that if I had to share with 2-3 or more siblings, I would not have had the same opportunities. While I'm sure that there are many benefits to having siblings, I have never regretted being an only child, and if I do decide to have children someday, chances are I will only want one. Great source of information!
  • Dr. Jill Young Aug 23, 2010 @ 1:46 pm | delete
    I am an only child. I have 2 master's degrees and a doctorate. We were not affluent, but my parents gave me all of the resources and attention they could. Had I not had this, I do not think I would be where I am today. I now have a daughter, and I can give her more than I had and I am excited to say that she will probably be an only child too. I am a college professor who gets to work entirely online and stay with my child. We have her in day care 2 days a week for socialization. Would I want 2 or three kids and be overstressed emotionally and financially? No. I do believe in quality vs quantity and this is right for us. Your site is wonderful!!
  • skiesgreen Jul 14, 2010 @ 6:28 pm | delete
    Good story and well presented. Congrats on LOTD. *-*Blessed*-* and featured on Sprinkled with Stardust and also on Lenses That Shine
  • WeddingZazzle Apr 16, 2010 @ 3:32 pm | delete
    Im 1 of 6...but only had 1 child. Nice lens. Blessed by a SquidAngel :)
  • judy Mar 12, 2010 @ 9:08 pm | delete
    I never wanted more than 1 child. I knew when I became pregnant with my son in 1987 that it would be my only pregnancy. I was thrilled with him and never regretted the decision. I had a tubal ligation when he was 9 months old-no regrets. It turned out that my son has a serious developmental disability which wasn't diagnosed until he was a couple of years old. I am so glad that I could devote all my time and attention to him. I took him everywhere- camping, the zoo, the beach,train rides. You name it. we did it. There is no way that I could have managed an infant or small child along with him so he would have missed out on a lot of opportunities. He is now a 22 year old young man who resides in a wonderful group home with 5 other men and goes to a vocational center. He has a full life and I still love to pick him up and go on trips with him- sometimes daily trips and sometimes longer. Although my reasons for having only 1 child may have changed from my original reasons, I am so glad that I stuck to my guns and didn't listen to people who thought that they "knew better" than me what I needed.My son has truly reaped the benefits of having all of my attention and being financially able to enrich his life!
  • noel Dec 21, 2009 @ 12:10 pm | delete
    I am an only and have one son of my own. I didn't think being an only child was so hot when I was growing up at all. I was definitely lonely and was quite jealous of people with brothers and sisters. I was a shy child, however, and attribute a lot of my feelings to that fact. As I grew into a pretty outgoing adolescent, my feelings about being an only changed dramatically. I finally started to understand why my friends with siblings were always jealous of ME. The attention I received from my mother (my father died when I was five) was invaluable to me at that turbulent time in my life. I began to realize that I had a much closer, warmer and friendlier relationship with my mother than many of my peers with siblings. I was mature for my age and very independent, which my mother encouraged. I just hope that I will be as close to my son as he grows as I was (and still am) with my mom.
  • aj2008 Nov 24, 2009 @ 9:44 am | delete
    The Childrens and Parenting Group that this lens belonged to has survived all the recent changes on Squidoo and is now a Lensography. This lens is now featured at Children and Parenting HQ.

    And of course this visit gives me the chance to Bless this excellent lens.
  • Nicole Sep 30, 2009 @ 3:48 pm | in reply to Nanzeeie | delete
    I am one of four children and i still avoid any confrontation. I was also extremely shy growing up, i am still a bit shy in new situations etc. However my 'only' is confident and outgoing - my husband's personality. I think it just depends on our individual personalities and there are definate postitives to all sort of them - even our personalities :-)
  • mommy_of_one Sep 30, 2009 @ 9:35 am | delete
    I just realized that I misquoted myself regarding my choices being questioned by busy-bodies. It should have read...
    ~I might "only" have one child, but she is ONE-IN-A-MILLION!~
  • mommy_of_one Sep 30, 2009 @ 8:03 am | delete
    Hello All! This is my first post and I just want to say how happy I am to have come across this lens.....such a relief to find encouragement & support!
    My husband & I have a 5 year-old daughter. She is the love of our lives....creative, sweet, funny and just a joy to spend time with. My worry is that someday she will resent us for not having another child. I feel very guilty about that because, physically, I could have another child; but I am taking multiple medications for chronic illnesses and I am choosing not to have another. Some women choose to go ahead and get pregnant, but I prefer not to take the risk of birth defects associated with some of the medications. So, being that it's my choice and not a physical reason that prevents me from getting pregnant, I feel completely responsible (and guilty) for that choice. Please offer advice!
    Also, I have a awesome comeback for those that ask why you "only" have 1 child... She might "only" be one child, but SHE'S ONE IN A MILLION
  • Wayward-Muse Sep 23, 2009 @ 8:19 pm | delete
    Fabulous lens!
  • BunnyBoiler Sep 21, 2009 @ 12:11 pm | delete
    As an only child parent, I think this should be required reading. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say we sometimes worry about what our child "might" be missing without siblings...There's many great points in here, Thanks, and glad you posted this lens :)
  • Amelie Sep 10, 2009 @ 9:02 am | delete
    Thank you, thank you, thank you! I laughed out loud while reading the wisecrack responses to rude people :):) too funny! I have recently decided to have only one child. Final answer this time? It's funny how a person's comment or judgement makes you doubt yourself, and you have to go through the whole decision process all over again. My daughter Rose was born with multiple internal birth defects and we have been so busy with her. That is part of the reason why I have decided to stop at one. Is anyone in the same situation? Anyone who decided to stop at one because their first one laready kept them so busy?
  • Marie Nov 7, 2010 @ 11:05 pm | delete
    My daughter has Cystic Fibrosis (CF), a genetic disease which affects the lungs and digestive system mostly. I thought I might stop at one before I knew she had CF, but I so resented her illness because I felt it took the decision out of my hands. I absolutely feel that I could never have given her the care I have while caring for another child, and another child would probably also suffer since I would always be so concerned for my first's health and making doctor appts, etc. Plus, her CF being genetic meant that if I wanted to be "guaranteed" a child without CF I would have to go throuh pre-genetic diagnosis and IVF and it would have to be an absolute decision to have another (we made the decision to have the first as well, but did not have to go as far as IVF) - and believe it or not, I would feel guilty having another "healthly" child by choice when my first had so many obstacles to overcome. And letting things just happen was not a possibility either since I could have another child with CF and could not cope emotionally with that. So, you see, having a healthy child or a not-so-healthy child was not an option. Ugh! I think I only doubt myself since I feel the decision was taken out of my hands, but I think I would have made it anyway; plus I sometimes feel that I am in the minority and sometimes it just feels wrong to have one; and then I also feel guilty not giving my daughter a sibling even though she says she does not want one - I just always think that will change as she gets older. By the way, my daughter is 7 and doing great and SHE LOVES BEIING AN ONLY CHILD! I hope it stays that way.
  • Mel Sep 8, 2009 @ 11:14 pm | in reply to Sally | delete
    I think that is awesome that your daughter helps to justify that your decision is ok with her. That tells you that she is a very mature individual. Sometimes it is harder to have an only child because people think you HAVE to have more. It can make you second guess yourself, but you have to make the decision based on what you WANT, and not what others expect of you. My parents adopted my sisters first born. Since we chose to only have one child, it has allowed us to have extra time to "help" raise my nephew and give my parents a break. (My son and nephew are only 13 months apart--so they share alot of the same interests).
  • Jenna Sep 8, 2009 @ 10:30 pm | delete
    I found reading all of this extremely interesting. Now I would love to read what the grown only children have to say about being an only in todays times and with all the comebacks I feel certain they here about themselves. I am the parent to now four although I had two one girl and one boy. I have two step children however, this is tough to explain but the boy of the step is an only child and was almost all of his life and he has all of the same traits as my oldest of two. The facts that people point to regarding onlies , oldest , middle or even many children have more to do with other factors than they do being an only or oldest in my opinion although I am the 5th child of 6 and my folks only wanted two . So I can tell you no matter what everyone should have the number of children that they want!
    I loved having two and now i love having four! They became four as teens. While they were a three some the child in the middle had the toughest time as he went from an only to a middle.
  • Casey Sep 8, 2009 @ 9:20 pm | delete
    Hello, I am a proud 22 year old only. I study Philosophy at my University and was intrigued to learn from this site that John Paul Sarte was also an only child. I am very curious what impact that had in his development of Existentialism.
    Thanks for the insight.
  • Nanzeeie Sep 8, 2009 @ 6:53 pm | delete
    As an only, I never learned to argue. I shy away from confrontation. All the multi-sibling people I know really mastered this early on. They know how to talk me down. But, so what.
  • Janie Sep 8, 2009 @ 5:39 pm | delete
    Wow, a site for singletons, I love it; I thought my singleton was special because her dad and I are right handed and she's a lefty, nevertheless, she's God fearing, articulate, and well mannered. Up until a year ago, that child (singleton) of mine was asking for a sibling. She's 16 years old!!!! I'm the second of four children, her dad is the fifth of eight. I've got to share this site with her, I must. Thank you so much for this. God Bless.
  • Trekkiemelissa Aug 14, 2009 @ 9:20 pm | delete
    I'm an only child. There is some good and bad about being one though. Some people say that they are spoiled, but when you don't have money, I didn't get everything I wanted except for books. I had only one friend that was an only child growing up. I think most only children have a tendency to be leaders too. I have a lens on it too, but you just gave me some ideas to improve on mine :)
  • Jamey Aug 10, 2009 @ 4:12 pm | delete
    I just found this page by accident, and I love it. I am an only child, and I love the views here about that. I have a singleton. One son, and he is just enough for my husband and I.
  • GroovyFinds Jul 27, 2009 @ 3:35 pm | delete
    I'm a only child...I loved hoarding my parents just for myself!
  • Gina Jul 27, 2009 @ 1:59 pm | delete
    Thank you Thank you Thank you! My daughter is an only sort of She has a 20 year old step brother, but not sibs her age. My husband and I both have sibs and although I would not trade my sister for a billion dollars There are no more children in our future and your site has made me feel so GOOD! Bless you!
  • aj2008 May 20, 2009 @ 5:15 am | delete
    Just revsisiting all the lenses in the Children and Parenting Group to say how proud I am of the qaulity in the Group. Thank you for being part of it.
  • Momtothezoo May 17, 2009 @ 2:11 pm | delete
    Christene, thank you so much for your lens. I really enjoyed it. My husband and I have five children, two his natural, two my natural, and one adopted foster daughter but, believe me, they are ALL OURS! However, my sister only have one child by choice and my natural daughter only has one by choice. Her choices are very much like the ones listed in your lens. The way things are today, it is so difficult for young people and I totally understand the logic. It was hard enough raising all of ours, much less getting them all through college, but we survived. I think you child is a very lucky little girl. I have heard the excuse so many times, "oh, I don't want them to be lonely." They won't be if the parents are the parents that parents are supposed to be. Good Luck! Come over and read my lens on my grandmother. http://www.squidoo.com/my-grandmothers-time She lived in another world from either of ours.
  • aj2008 Apr 13, 2009 @ 11:33 am | delete
    I l,ove the "comebacks" to those rude people. This excellent lens is Blessed by an Angel.
  • KimGiancaterino Apr 10, 2009 @ 5:56 pm | delete
    I don't have children, but when I married my husband I became step-mom to a 7-year old. He's a teenager now, and involved in many activities. It's hard to keep up sometimes. I really admire parents who can meet the needs of several kids at one time. One is definitely enough for me.
  • grace m williams Dec 25, 2011 @ 8:33 am | delete
    Parents who have more than one child cannot individually meet the individual needs of all their children. Some children are neglected while others are cared for. It is best to have one chlld for he/she will receive the best of everything, materially, emotionally, and psychologically. Only children are indeed blessed children. They are also the luckiest children in the world. Any child who is an only child should be thankful every day.
  • ADB Feb 25, 2009 @ 11:30 pm | delete
    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! My husband and I are not only children but chose to have an only. You can't imagine the grief we get from almost everyone we know about making the decision to have an only. Neither my husband nor I are close to our siblings and we both were always the responsible children among our siblings. Thus, to this day we are the "forgotten" ones from both of our parents because they never had to worry about us like they did with our siblings. How sad is that? To this day both my husband and I wished that our sets of parents would just give us an ounce of attention and affection. We did not want this for our child. We want him to grow up feeling loved and needed. We want him to have the confidence that my husband and I have lacked over the years. In other words, we want our son to have every opportunity that we never had. Most importantly, we want our only son to know that he is and always will be wanted by us!
  • Annie Feb 9, 2009 @ 9:27 pm | delete
    Sally-
    I ran over the word limit in my last post--I also think your emotional concern for your daughter is important--however, my mother and her sister haven't spoken in years. My best friend is closer with me than she is her siblings...

    But again--I think the number is placed on your heart. I always thought I would have a lot of children--but our family felt 100% complete at one child (and a dog!) I think it makes it tough when you aren't 100%. For some people, it can be the hardest choice they will ever make!
  • Annie Feb 9, 2009 @ 9:14 pm | delete
    Sally-
    Sally-It has been my observation that in most cases one child takes responsibility for the care of an aging parent-no matter how many children the parents had. For example, my mother is one of three. Her sister lives far away--and so does she. Their brother takes care of everything for their parents. I hope her parents did not have two other children just to make sure they were taken care of! The same happened in my dad's family.

    Maybe it is the same thing as if you are injured and there is only one person around--that one person is more likely to help you than if there is an entire group of people. (The group of bystanders think--someone else will help, I don't need to take personal responsibility.)

    Anyway, I think my husband and I will be more financially able to provide for ourselves since we will not be drained by raising several children.

    I do think the number of children a person should have is placed on their heart. I wish more people would accept this!
  • Sally Feb 4, 2009 @ 11:27 pm | delete
    I am very comfortable with every aspect of having one child apart from my daughter not having siblings when her Dad and I pass away. My husband tells me this is silly to try to plan for as we never know what life my bring. We may have another child and the two might not be close, etc.

    I really want to say thank you for this site. I have been going over this decision in my head for the last nine months, it was such a breath of fresh air to come across it! I am excited to show my husband. He is very comfortable with one child and says he will have another if i'd like another, but he is very content with one.

    I am also content, but I tend to worry. I don't want to regret not having another child. I always thought I would have four or five kids, but I think that is because my parents did! Thank you for putting this site up. It is so nice to know I'm not alone with how I feel. (i read all of the reasons you love having one, and i feel the same way!)
  • Sally Feb 4, 2009 @ 11:15 pm | delete
    I had my daughter when I was very young. I felt it was best to wait to have another child until we could 'afford' it. Life went on and now that I am 33 and my husband is 37 we feel we could afford to have another child. My daughter is now 14 and after reading a gentlemans response above about wishing he had siblings to talk about old times with now that his parents have moved on, I feel very worried that we have made a terrible mistake.

    I have absoultely loved having so much time and attention to give to my daughter. We are a very close and happy family. She is very well ajusted and I have never bought into this whole only child syndrome thing. I am the oldest of five children, and I felt extremely lonely growing up. I also feel my daughter is much better at sharing than I am! She tells me she loves being an only child. In school they learned about overpopulation and she thinks being an only is the way to go! She has decided that she too wants to have one child.
  • Jessica (labdogs42) Jan 29, 2009 @ 12:06 pm | delete
    I AM an only and my son is an only. I loved it and I think he will, too. my husband is the oldest of two and he is happy to have an only. Sure, having a family made up of three oldest/only children is its own challenge, but we manage to work it out!! We all like to be in charge -- wheeeee!!! Love your lens. Thanks for writing it. It is like you were inside my brain!
  • Snozzle Jan 27, 2009 @ 9:35 am | delete
    I was an only child and it didn't effect me too much when young. Now, as the years have shot by and my parents are no longer around, I wish I had brothers or sisters who had known me all of my life. It would be good to talk over old times.

    The advantage of being an only child is that I've grown up happy with my own company - even though I have my own family.

    Interesting 5* lens.

    Mike.
  • freddi Jan 19, 2009 @ 8:46 pm | delete
    I'm not an only, but I have an only. People can be unintentionally thoughtless about asking. It's often hard to know how to respond. I've often worried about having only one. Thank you for your uplifting perspective. Great lens!
  • Juanita Jan 16, 2009 @ 9:40 pm | delete
    Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    DH and I have made a conscious decision to have an only. My daughter just turned 15 months and for the last 12 months, everyone has asked when the next one is coming. When I say that we're "one and done" they look at me like I've suddenly sprouted a second head. I want to do what's right for my DD. After reading your lens and the articles and support on here, I feel 100% confident in our decision. Plus, I have some really good comebacks now too! Thanks again.
  • aimee Jan 16, 2009 @ 10:55 am | delete
    You have a smorgasboard of great things to look at! A variety of resources for the pensive person!
  • EverythingMouse Jan 11, 2009 @ 12:07 pm | delete
    I am the youngest of 3 and have 3 children myself. My siblings are older by 9 and 13 years so for many years I think I had the benefits of being treated like an only child.....

    Blessings to you Christene for such a thoughtfull, detailed and wonerfully 'crafted' lens.
  • Tracey Jan 9, 2009 @ 1:14 pm | delete
    Although I have three sons I often tell people that each individual child wishes they were an only child. In fact the youngest often gives a look to the other two as if to say "Are you two still here? And when are you leaving?" Which brings me to my point of the childs perspective. I think many parents feel that their child will be lonely or miss out on something without a sibling. I don't think that is a accurate thought and that the child would be just fine as an only, having their own unique childhood just like eveyone else. I think the "down side" of being an only is nothing more than a projection of the parents feelings toward the situation.
  • Ramkitten Jan 1, 2009 @ 4:19 pm | delete
    I sometimes forget that I'm not an only child, since my brothers and I are so far apart in age--they're 16 and 20 years older--so I basically grew up like an only child. So when I started to read this lens, I had to remind myself that I'm not technically an only child, though I could totally relate to it. I've always thought the stigma about only children was ... well, hogwash. Great lens and 5*.
  • j Nov 29, 2008 @ 9:54 pm | delete
    Just wanted to drop a note to say thank you so much for those comebacks! I read them an hour ago and I am still laughing. I needed them.
  • love4free Nov 27, 2008 @ 2:11 pm | delete
    Hey Christene, good luck on your lens, seems like you are doing great.
    I have some great information in my lens for single mothers who needs support. Feel free to visit my lens : Low-Income-Families
    Mali
  • Czarque Nov 13, 2008 @ 6:52 am | delete
    Thought provoking topic. I've often wondered what the pro's and con's were to being an only child!
  • aj2008 Oct 29, 2008 @ 6:38 pm | delete
    Back again to say welcome to the Children and Parenting Group
  • Oct 28, 2008 @ 2:27 pm | delete
    I'm an only child too.
    I didn't really notice that fact till I was around 9 or 10.
    All my friends had brothers and sisters, I mean ALL of them.
    So I really wanted a too. My parents got me a dog instead. I treated that dog like a brother in my own way.

    I am now a father. I had my son 3 years ago and decided I didn't want him to feel alone (coming from a small family - as my mom was also an only child). 1 month ago I had a daughter and feel our family is complete.

    Good and bad things to both but overall, I would have preferred not to have been one.
    Nice lens
  • babytee24 Oct 19, 2008 @ 7:32 pm | delete
    Hey, I haven't been here in awhile, but as always, I get to look at a great lens! I am not an only child, but we have an old child. He is the joy of our lives!
  • Jewelsofawe Oct 17, 2008 @ 3:47 pm | delete
    I'm an only child also. Cool lens!
  • MsMorrison Oct 8, 2008 @ 4:15 am | delete
    Hello,

    Thank you very much for the nice tips, sharing us ideas. I recently gave birth and this stuff would help me a lot.. tnx

    5 Stars for you...

    IF YOU HAVE TIME PLEASE VISIT MY PAGE!!!
  • safewell Oct 1, 2008 @ 1:04 am | delete
    You have done an outstanding job on this lens and can tell you put allot of work into it. Great job!
  • Sep 5, 2008 @ 2:11 pm | delete
    Hi Mimi,

    Thanks for joining Parenting On Squidoo,
    I have just featured you as our weekly featured lensmaster. Congrats!
    Ashley
    Exquisite Beautiful Jewelry, Handmade Locally
  • SemperFidelis Sep 1, 2008 @ 3:40 am | delete
    I haven't visited this lens in awhile, but it looks like you've added some good stuff. We have 5 children, however, our fifth seems to be living the life of an "only child" as she seems to have 3 dads and 3 moms in our house! A blessing on this one Christene. Hmm, I should make a family lens also. I'll put that on my 'list of things to do.' :o)
  • aj2008 Aug 31, 2008 @ 8:36 am | delete
    I am not an only child and I have four children. However, I think everyone needs to respect everyone elses decisions as to what is the best "number" for their own family and I just love your Comebacks to those rude questions.

    A very thoughtful lens 5*s and please take a look at the Children and Parenting group and if you like the look of it, I would love you to submit this lens.
  • redwhiteandgrew Aug 23, 2008 @ 10:21 pm | delete
    Marvelous lens. What a great topic and so lovingly presented, too. Kudos, kudos, kudos!
  • Aug 15, 2008 @ 11:22 am | delete
    I would love to have you in my Parenting Group!
    Parenting on Squidoo. I'll even create a special category just for you!
    Ashley
    Hollywood Glam on a Budget
  • littlemisspiggy Aug 13, 2008 @ 1:34 am | delete
    hello. great lens. i'm an only child too. keep it up. feel free to visit my lens. thank you. great and very interesting. :) 5* for sure. :)
  • TwoBrightHeads Aug 5, 2008 @ 9:13 am | delete
    Very interesting lens. I am dad to my single daughter. She didn't really mind being a single child. I learn many things here. A 5* and thank you.
  • annetteghallowell Aug 4, 2008 @ 10:03 am | delete
    My only child is just leaving for college in 2 weeks. People are asking me what I will do when she leaves. We are extremely close. Don't get me wrong, she did go through her teen rebel stage, but I am so thankful that I have had the time to give her the experiences she has had. Thank you for such an affirming lens!
  • Spook Aug 4, 2008 @ 9:15 am | delete
    Thoughtprovoking, although am not an only child and have three children of my own, found this lens fascinating and has given me a lot to think about.
  • njppa Jul 25, 2008 @ 5:59 am | delete
    My husband and I are raising an only child and quite happy with that decision. While I don't remember a lot of only children growing up, I am seeing a larger trend of people choosing to do the 1 child family. Out of 10 children in his class last year, over half were singletons and planning to stay that way. Very nice lens.
  • InspiredWritingResearch Jul 17, 2008 @ 1:57 am | delete
    Lovely, well-rounded and thought-provoking lens, especially for me - my husband and I have a big family and both come from big families too!Faved!
  • Christene Jul 7, 2008 @ 9:22 am | delete
    Never having a sibling in the house, and having one there for years before they move out are two totally different things. Of course you will miss your sibling, and your life is different all of a sudden. I can image the void that would create. Growing up as an only child we don't have that to go through. It's just normal every day life.
  • thrivingmom Jul 7, 2008 @ 9:14 am | delete
    I think this is a very interesting lens. I wrote my college thesis about the different characteristics that people has has a result of their birth order (only children, oldest children, middle children, babies of the family, etc). I have a sister, but she is 11 years older than me. So, for part of her life she was an only child, then she was an older sibling. I then lived part of mine as a little sister, and then when I was 8 she went off to college and later married, so the rest of my time at home was much like an older child. My husband and I got a surprise pregnancy when our daughter was just 11 months old, so we are living a totally different experience than either one of us had. I personally think siblings are important because I lived with one in the house for 8 years, and then when she moved out I was very lonely and had a very difficult time. But, I don't believe only children are strange or at a disadvantage than the rest of us. Each family needs to do what suits them best.
  • poddys Jun 28, 2008 @ 12:38 pm | delete
    I just happened on this lens, really interesting. 5***** well deserved. I am an only child, my first wife was also an only child, and we only had 1 child. He had no brothers or sisters, aunts, uncles or cousins. However, he has always been able to make good friends, which is good. I on the other hand used to be really shy, and didn't have many friends growing up. My favourite phrase was "I'm bored!". I got better though :)
  • debnet Jun 28, 2008 @ 12:33 pm | delete
    I'm not an only child, but I enjoyed reading about your thoughts & feelings on the subject.
  • Karen_Knight_Bennett Jun 28, 2008 @ 7:27 am | delete
    Thanks for you lens. It broadens people's perceptions of only children. I am the eldest of three siblings and could not imagine having only one child. My daughter was five when I had my son. I did not want her to be an only child. Both my children are truly blessings and I am so thankful for them.
  • ricarde Jun 19, 2008 @ 10:13 am | delete
    Great lens! This proves that you can do anything and write about any topic using Squidoo. 5 stars for the great and useful content.
  • ElizabethJeanAllen Jun 19, 2008 @ 5:42 am | delete
    I was raised when large families were the norm. I'm very close to my sisters. I can't imagine not having them.
    Great lens.
    5*
    Lizzy
  • sharepcat Jun 18, 2008 @ 11:52 pm | delete
    Excellent ...
  • 2inlaws Jun 17, 2008 @ 9:36 am | delete
    I, too, am an only child. I LOVED it growing up! I watched all my friends fighting with their siblings all the time. I was spoiled to a point. Now, however, as an adult kind of wish I had a sibling. I now see those same friends who fought all those years with their sibs now having loving, respectful relationships with the same sibs. I'm torn. It is true though, only you and your spouse know the right number for your family. I myself have two girls and wouldn't change it for the world. It was right for us! I cannot imagine anyone ever commenting on the choice of how many children you choose to have! What if you didn't have a choice???
  • SherryHolderHunt Jun 15, 2008 @ 12:46 am | delete
    I love this lens, I lensrolled it to my EZ Doodle lens for children. 5*'s from me. I only have one child, I like it that we are able to spoil him a little. His father has other children that are grown and we have grandkids. I agree with qmom, there is no magic number, it is whatever works best for you.
  • spirituality Jun 14, 2008 @ 1:04 pm | delete
    I'm the oldest of three. I wouldn't miss my brothers for the world.
  • ShannonC Jun 11, 2008 @ 1:10 pm | delete
    I grew up with a sibling and can't imagine it another way, however my husband and I have thought about having only one child for all of the reasons you mentioned in this lens. Thanks for sharing this great lens!
  • WhippetTalk Jun 10, 2008 @ 9:19 pm | delete
    What a brilliant lens! I too am and only child. But I have no children at all. Just never happened, not by choice. And now I'm too old. But I do have a great dog and he's like a child to me. I adore this lens though!
  • jeffwend Jun 9, 2008 @ 11:24 pm | delete
    I'm not an only child, but I did enjoy this lens, blessings for you.
  • kellywissink Jun 3, 2008 @ 7:12 pm | delete
    As an only married to an only, we are celebrating our 21st anniversary in a few weeks. We had a desire to have either no children or more than one. We both had great childhoods and experienced so much of what you shared. We are celebrating our THREE children ages 11, 9, and 7 as homeschooling, work at home parents and each child, to us, is our only!
    Thanks for a spectacular lens! Loved the Comeback section!
  • blue22d May 26, 2008 @ 9:53 am | delete
    Very nice lens, organized and well thought through. I have one son, who is now 34 and he has teased me continuously that he is still looking for his baby brother. I believe he would have enjoyed a sibling as he loves children (I am a happy grandmother of a beautiful granddaughter). I do believe the most important thing is to give them as much LOVE as possible, and if you can do that with many children...more power to whoever you are.
    Have a moment, stop by a visit my lens "Our Next Generation". Five stars to ya.
  • ShortSaleRealtor May 16, 2008 @ 3:01 pm | delete
    great lens hi 5 to you
  • beachbum_gabby May 6, 2008 @ 2:46 am | delete
    I am now, since my brother died when I was in High School. :( But we have moved on...
  • carrieokier Apr 29, 2008 @ 1:59 pm | delete
    Excellent lens. 5 stars from an only! What a club- I never realized..
  • JackieLee Apr 21, 2008 @ 10:07 pm | delete
    Excellent lens. I am an only and have an only. She will be two in a couple weeks and we are constantly inundated with questions about when the next one is coming. People just look at me like I'm crazy when I say never. She's more than enough.

    Thanks for getting the word out about how cool it is to be an only. :)
  • Feather Apr 11, 2008 @ 1:00 pm | delete
    Great Lens! I enjoyed reading it! I know MANY families who adopt and due to finances, age, or whatever only welcome one child home! I'll definitely add this to my list of referrals!! Great job!!
  • OnStageLighting Apr 11, 2008 @ 11:45 am | delete
    I am an only child, my wife too! We were both perfectly happy as children but had two children of our own.
    The interaction between two siblings is new and fascinating to both of us.

    Come and visit my daughters lens at:

    http://www.squidoo.com/childrens-drawings
  • Picabomama Mar 31, 2008 @ 7:23 pm | delete
    My sister and I fought constantly and violently as kids. It wasn't helped by our mother's inability to be neutral and balanced in her treatment of us. My mother insisted that I entertain my sister and I was discouraged from forming competing attachments with other children. When we became adolescents my other and sister banded together to ridicule and belittle me. I am so glad that I am educated enough and self aware enough to choose to have an only child. I cannot imagine adding another to our family. The stress it would cause me, would only detract from my daughter's health and well-being. I am more than happy to go out and find other children for her to play with and then send them on home!
  • Mr-Chinese-Man Mar 30, 2008 @ 5:09 pm | delete
    A superb lens, 5 stars from me
  • amandaquerque Mar 28, 2008 @ 12:33 pm | delete
    Refreshing and informational! I am the oldest of 5 so it is great to see the benefits of being an only child. Great informational addition to the BIG LENSES group!
  • rwoman Mar 23, 2008 @ 9:51 pm | delete
    Great lens! I'm glad I stopped by Rwoman. I am also the mother of an only child. My 7-year-old gets lots of attention and time that I just couldn't pull off with more than one. This choice was more my husband's than mine. I think he wishes he was an only child...
  • eccles1 Mar 22, 2008 @ 2:57 am | delete
    I think many people in the last 10 years or so have decided to have a only child..also some choose not to have any at all..it should be your choice.
  • Melissa Mar 20, 2008 @ 12:34 am | delete
    I am an only child and I too loved it and knew I had a good thing. All my friends were jealous of me and my only status. I often heard how lucky I was to be an only and I believed it. I am 39 now and the parent of an only (so far) but my husband is pestering me for another, stressing me out to no end. I can't help but feel I am taking much away from my son if I give in. I enjoy the close special relationship we have, being able to lavish him with all my time and attention. I am glad I can get him involved in any activity he desires, I don't have to tell him "I'm sorry honey we can't afford it (because we have too many children)" I also love the fact that our lives really didn't change much after baby, we still go to restaurants and travel the world, we simply tote him with. One is so portable. I worry about him being alone if we die, this does trouble my brain, but everything else is an advantage. That is the only negative I see.
  • qmom Mar 14, 2008 @ 9:33 pm | delete
    Not a mom of an only here, rather I have 3. But I wanted to commend you for an excellent point of view. Bigger is not always better. My own family is perfect for US, but everyone must find their own number. Whether it be 3, 5, or a dozen...if it works for you then it's right. BTW...the bizarre and rude comments from strangers don't stop when you have more kids....
  • GypsyPirate Mar 5, 2008 @ 7:44 am | delete
    I can so see why you picked this one as your 'favorite', it is an awesome lens. I'm the youngest, not an only, but I loved reading this.
  • JeanneGrazier Mar 1, 2008 @ 12:18 pm | delete
    Awesome lens. It prompted me (as the oldest of 5 kids) to daydream about the attention I might have received.
  • ebareeba Feb 21, 2008 @ 9:21 pm | delete
    Christene,
    Very nice page -- enjoy whatever you decide to do! The beauty of the world we live in is its variety! Some enjoy being the only child (I certainly did!), some like company.
    Either way, the secret is to enjoy it. Have fun!
  • MomtoOne Feb 18, 2008 @ 1:18 pm | delete
    Your page is excellent. I loved the little tidbit about you being an Only and your s.o. being from a mulit-kid family AND both of you having one child and loving it!
    It just goes to show how much bias and stereotyping there is.
    I am happy that I have a Only. She is NOT spoiled, NOT whiney, NOT ...you get the drift.
    I learned a lot from the way I was brought up- or should I be saying "How not to bring up your child". It is sites like yours and Susan Newman's that settled the issue with my husband (he was not too sure about this only child thing). Another site http://onlychildproject.com is also devoted to the only child.
    Overall, after reading several books and sites, I would rate Carolyn White's book "Seven Sins" the worst. Its a book that's useful for beating yourself with, or maybe send you to the shrink. First of all, its mostly about generic parenting which is then force fit into the scenario of an Only Child household.
    Secondly, it just scares the hell out of you!
  • Feb 18, 2008 @ 6:42 am | delete
    hi,cool lens!I'm eldest of 3 and the most forgotten & blamed for among us; but I'm not dreaming of being a onesie as the problem was with my parents rather than the number of children. My husband, on the other hand is an only child and lost all the freedom he could have until a strong struggle, due to the overpowering attention from his family.

    We both decide that proper family planning is really healthy, for ourselves as well as for the child or children we will be responsible for, and to us is a lifetime of love and commitment,within our thresholds.
  • christa Feb 13, 2008 @ 11:28 pm | delete
    My daughter and I stay up talking for hours at night. I could not do that If I had another child. I love being a singleton mom. The thought of having another child does not complete my family. It would actually put it out of balance, and I love balance. You guys are awesome, keep up the faith.....3 RULEZ
  • Fiona Feb 3, 2008 @ 12:44 pm | delete
    Thank you! There are plenty of people out there ready to judge and condemn our small but perfect family. Your site helps remind me of how precious we are as we are.
  • Glenys Jan 30, 2008 @ 10:10 pm | delete
    Lovely read! I have friends who have only children and worry about it. I'm going to recommend they read this!

    Cheers
    Glenys

    www.wealthyaffiliate.com
  • Loub Jan 30, 2008 @ 9:52 am | delete
    I loved your lens. It great to see individuals making their own decisions and not having additional children because it is expected.
  • adez7 Jan 14, 2008 @ 2:49 pm | delete
    Hi Christine, I love this lens. 5*'s from me for a job well done.
  • howson Jan 2, 2008 @ 12:05 pm | delete
    Having an only child is not our choice, but there is a lot of issues that stopped us from having another (for now). It is tragic only for us, clearly not for others. Praying for a miracle...
  • Dec 26, 2007 @ 5:38 am | delete
    Fantastic lens! I'm an only child and so is my husband, and we liked it just fine. After years of pondering, we're adding on to our family of three. Have to say, though, I'm glad we waited so that we could enjoy time alone with our firstborn child.
  • bonnie Dec 24, 2007 @ 10:46 pm | delete
    Mom to only daughter. She is Wonderful! So glad to see the list of so many successful Only children. I would have liked more but you need to be happy with what you have. I feel fortunate to have one healthy, happy girl! Merry Christmas
  • Victoria_Neely Dec 21, 2007 @ 5:06 pm | delete
    I loved being an only child. I knew I had a good thing. ;)
  • cityslickermom Dec 18, 2007 @ 9:06 pm | delete
    really great lense, you're famous here :). All the best.

    Rosari
    Affordable Website Design
  • justme2u Dec 16, 2007 @ 10:49 pm | delete
    Nice lens, manage to read some good articles. Me? Married 4H (loss H no 4 unexpectedly last year..so unexpected and fast). Now developing my lens to share our knowledge and experience about this unexpected. Have a look. Thanks
  • HappyTOGer Nov 15, 2007 @ 10:18 am | delete
    Great lens! I homeschool an only son and appreciate the unique opportunities. Personally, I would have preferred to have a quiver full, but I really understand how this can be turned into a blessing for parent and child.
  • JessK Nov 14, 2007 @ 7:55 pm | delete
    5 Stars! I can relate. My mom is an only child and so is my dad. I have one sister, but my son was raised as an only child (half-brothers that lived far away).
  • flicker Nov 7, 2007 @ 10:53 pm | delete
    Terrific lens - all of it. 5 stars.
  • Gatsby Nov 6, 2007 @ 7:48 am | delete
    5* I bet your daughter feels really special getting the extra time from her parents. It is great to have that focused time with her. Solve Dog Behavior Problems
  • DogWhisperWoman Nov 5, 2007 @ 8:53 pm | delete
    5* I am a fraternal twin. I never really thought about how special it would be to be an only child. I think that would be my preference also. Aggressive Dog
  • duvallweb Oct 25, 2007 @ 10:46 am | delete
    I have decided to only have one child.. at least for now. I know this sounds strange but my 2y/o son is my best friend, and I think with a brother or sister that may change. You have a fantastic lens set up, thank you!
  • SemperFidelis Oct 23, 2007 @ 10:33 pm | delete
    We have 5 children, and I have 5 siblings. I cannot imagine being or having an only child. Great lens. 5*
  • coollikeme Oct 16, 2007 @ 5:04 pm | delete
    Nice lens.
  • Deanna Oct 15, 2007 @ 8:16 pm | delete
    We are fulfilling our own dreams of a perfect family, and not someone elses dream of whats perfect. Great to find others enjoying their families, and feeling complete.
  • Ainsley Oct 10, 2007 @ 9:45 pm | delete
    Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love that I've found a place that understands having one child. We have one son and I truly feel that our family of 3 is perfect. I completely agree with all your points above about why choose to have an only child. Great lens!
  • delrond Oct 10, 2007 @ 10:26 am | delete
    Great little lens you got here. I work with thirty kids at a time so can't really relate but still some great content.
  • red-mustang-mom Oct 1, 2007 @ 9:23 pm | delete
    Hey, I enjoyed your lens. We decided to have a second child after alot of thought. I do agree with what you said though. One would have been just great for us.We do feel doubly blessed to have 2. But we are for sure done now. I'm 39 and exhausted!!! Thanks, good writing.
  • danismom97 Sep 29, 2007 @ 10:32 am | delete
    I am the mother of one daughter. I wanted a big family because I am the middle child of three but I have come to find that I really enjoy giving all my love and attention to this one beautiful little girl. Great lens! :)
  • allisa Sep 23, 2007 @ 1:30 pm | delete
    Your module-'what you liked best about being an only child' was spot on! I've been trying to explain it to my BF for awhile. All I had to do was read your explanation out loud to him and it said everything for me!

    It's nice to know that it is an only child 'thing'!
  • Reggie_Marigold Sep 14, 2007 @ 7:59 pm | delete
    I'm an only and I had no idea that it was any different than anyone else. Interesting lens and I learned several new things.
  • Kelly Sep 11, 2007 @ 12:37 am | delete
    Great stuff. I'm an only who married an only and we have an only. You'd think we'd a self-centered family that didn't share(if you believed the stereotypes). But we're happy, we travel easily wherever we want, and we've already set aside college tuition.I knew I could be an excellent mother to 1!
  • Aurore Aug 28, 2007 @ 12:13 am | delete
    Wow!Great job.My best friend is an only child, I am closer to her than anybody!. I had a 2nd for my 1st (3rd after unplanned!),I knew I shouldn't,but he begged everyday for 3 years!He loves his siblings and I am happy for that but I daydream of being alone with him!We r blessed, but 1 is also nice:)
  • MLA Aug 26, 2007 @ 1:13 pm | delete
    Great lens with great info .. and I wholeheartedly agree about selfishness being a product of the parents, not simply a "given" that is dependent on the number of siblings in the family.
  • Briana Aug 22, 2007 @ 4:20 pm | delete
    Having an only child makes motherhood FUN!
  • Aika Aug 22, 2007 @ 6:48 am | delete
    excellent lens, I enjoy reading your rich-content topic. I am the only child in our family after my brother died. :( Anyway, 5* for you great works
  • Judyt Aug 19, 2007 @ 10:28 am | delete
    Great lens! I am the mom of a beautiful 4 year old son. We didn't become parents until we were almost 40 and most likely wont have more. I come from a family of 8 and can totally relate to hurt feelings from siblings being compared. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to updates.
  • Trigger Aug 14, 2007 @ 9:37 am | delete
    This is well thought out information and very supportive to parents of only children. I'll be back to read your updates. I enjoyed this read!
  • Ashley Aug 12, 2007 @ 11:00 pm | delete
    I am the mother of an only, he is almost 4 years old and he is wonderful. I am so blessed to have him.
  • trueprosperity Aug 11, 2007 @ 4:52 pm | delete
    I have two children, but they are 12 years apart so it's like they are only children. It was like starting all over for me. It is wonderful. I have to give you 5 stars for your page and add you to my lensroll. Just keep doing your thing girl!! God bless!

    Kimberly
  • peaches63 Aug 9, 2007 @ 12:57 pm | delete
    I used to imagine being an only child -- there were 12 in my family. We learned a lot about sharing :). I love being a part of a large family. I had 2 children. My grand daugter is an only child and I love that, too.
  • estories Aug 6, 2007 @ 9:47 pm | delete
    Hi! I was an only child but am the mother of four so I have seen it from both sides.I am a children's story author and I encountered a question about raising an only child from a group member. I answered the question in an article at this lens http://www.squidoo.com/preschoolpersonalizedestories
  • dbrossi Aug 6, 2007 @ 5:13 pm | delete
    Super lens deserving 5 stars. I am also an only child, (well, hardly a child any more), of an only child mother, and an only child grandmother. Made us a bit self-centered maybe, but also more independent.
  • not_tame Aug 6, 2007 @ 10:12 am | delete
    Very interesting lens. I'm one of three boys in my family, but have not yet started having kids. This lens gives me something to think about.
  • LauraChilds Aug 4, 2007 @ 10:55 pm | delete
    Hi Christene - lovely to read your lens! I'm an only child of an only child and I am the mother of an only child.
    Love your comebacks! When people would 'warn' me about spoiling my only child I'd answer "With what? Love? Attention? Patience? How could any person be 'spoiled' by such things?"
  • pyrox02 Aug 4, 2007 @ 7:57 pm | delete
    I would never imagine that there would be a lens about this. Haha. Excellent job using the Squidoo platform to talk about something you know about. You've really made me second-guess myself on what I want in a family, too, so I commend you on that as well. :)

    You deserve that Lens of the Day award!
  • mn3guy Aug 2, 2007 @ 11:48 pm | delete
    I'm not an only, and have 3 kids, but several of my friends have "only's". It's been interesting to observe them in comparison with my own kids, and our families' lives. I see positive and "challenge" in both. It's part of what makes the world go round, I guess.
  • ParrotMaster Aug 2, 2007 @ 6:10 pm | delete
    Nice Lens. 5 Stars! Please visit me too.
  • FESA Aug 2, 2007 @ 4:16 pm | delete
    Great lens. I have five siblings and three children of my own, but your lens gave me a great look at what being an only child is all about. Very insightful. Thanks, Fran
  • sdtechteacher Aug 2, 2007 @ 1:52 am | delete
    This is a great lens. Many of my students don't have siblings, and I'll let their parents know about this when they wonder about not having a brother or sister.
  • Aug 1, 2007 @ 9:16 pm | delete
    Great lens! I'm an only child and have an only child but I am torn about whether I want to have another. I'm starting to think it's simply not in the cards and at the end of the day I think I'm okay with that.
    Thanks again!
  • Retro_Loco Aug 1, 2007 @ 4:30 am | delete
    Great lens. Love the "Comebacks" section! Your lens explains a lot. Great work.
  • Lady-Ellen Jul 31, 2007 @ 12:09 pm | delete
    Great lens. We had one of each girl and boy and I can sure appreciate that any more would have put them in competitive situations so I'm glad that was it-plus my husband and I both worked from home and home schooled...worked really well for us.
    Come visit..yours may like my books!
    Lady Ellen
  • aidenw Jul 30, 2007 @ 6:34 pm | delete
    I'm an only child but often wished I had siblings. I was very shy as a child and had very few friends. So I often felt lonely. Still kinda shy to this day but I also have a rebellious side that finds it fun to break social norms :) Don't have any kids (yet). Great lense. Definitely 5 stars!
  • Dubai-Real-Estate Jul 30, 2007 @ 2:23 am | delete
    Nice lens keep up the good work 5 stars from me!
  • LogoDesignEducation Jul 29, 2007 @ 4:56 pm | delete
    Intersting info on onlies.
  • Oosquid Jul 29, 2007 @ 2:46 am | delete
    I was an ?only' and have to admit that I was spoiled. But then I suppose it is very possible to spoil a whole brood of kids. Great lens.
  • LindaJM Jul 29, 2007 @ 12:32 am | delete
    I enjoyed reading your lens - what a great collection of information on only children! Your wisecrack comebacks are perfect. In The Celestine Prophecy there's a section on how it is best for children to be raised one at a time - not sure if you're aware of that but thought you might want to know.
  • nicataliano Jul 28, 2007 @ 2:14 am | delete
    congrats on getting the lens of the day.
  • Michelle_Gartner Jul 28, 2007 @ 12:27 am | delete
    Hi I am an only with 4 kids and one on the way... no one can believe I have as many kids in my family. (and Grandma- my Mother is tickled pink that she gets so many grandkids despite my being her one and only). Great lens- Michelle
  • Christopher_Scott Jul 27, 2007 @ 11:30 pm | delete
    Great lens. Keep up the hard work! Come over to A Day of Hope
  • Jul 27, 2007 @ 10:56 pm | delete
    Although I'm not an only child, I can certainly appreciate the content on this lens. Nicely done!
  • titania Jul 27, 2007 @ 6:14 pm | delete
    Great lens and I respect people's decisions to have whatever size family works, whether 0, 1, 2 or more children...but I'm an only child and just don't feel like it's a big deal.
  • FresnoMommies Jul 27, 2007 @ 2:07 pm | delete
    I am the mother of an only child. For now, lol.
  • sadiepal Jul 27, 2007 @ 1:45 pm | delete
    Great lens - inforamtive and fun to read and shop from!

    Although I'm not an only child, many of my closest friends are - and you're right, they are truly special people.

    Keeping all children safe...
  • crankyyankee Jul 27, 2007 @ 12:14 pm | delete
    I was an only until I was 10 and my mother remarried. I suddenly got two older sisters, and then a younger. Seven years later I got a younger brother (and everytime I took him anywhere people assumed I was his mother.)I enjoyed being an only, caring for the others taught me not to have my own.
  • MommaChop Jul 27, 2007 @ 11:55 am | delete
    As an only child that is both the mother of an only child and the daughter of an only child--Thank you.

    I believe that the parts of my daughter's personality that I can influence will be affected by our parenting and by her experiences in the world--not by her being a singleton.

    Great Lens!
  • AdverseE Jul 27, 2007 @ 8:19 am | delete
    I have an only child and as with most only parents, I seesaw between believing that being without a sister or brother is a negative for my daughter. I'm glad to see that someone else feels the same way that I truly do inside. Great lens!
  • Susan Newman, Ph.D. Jul 27, 2007 @ 7:30 am | delete
    Next Friday night Aug. 3, 20/20 is scheduled (might change)to air Myths about Only Children. They interviewed me on what I discovered when putting together my book, Parenting an Only Child. If you have an only or are thinking about it,tune in. Learn more about onlies at www.susannewmanphd.com
  • Jul 27, 2007 @ 4:03 am | delete
    Fascinating reading. I am not an only child - hope my views still count, though! ;-) - but it's been interesting to understand some of the "issues" with 'only children'. Thanks.
  • Moondial Jul 27, 2007 @ 3:50 am | delete
    Quick observation ~ I'm an only child ~ I had a very lonely childhood and didn't make friends easily ~ although ~ reading your childhood experiences, my mum came to all my productions and concerts, my dad always unfortunately had to work.

    Thanks for some insight from someone who is a genuine only!
  • pallefs Jul 27, 2007 @ 1:17 am | delete
    Hi Christene,
    Thanks for a great lens! I was the only child (that always wanted a big brother). Now, as a adult, I think I developed a strong will and a strive for independence somewhat because of this.
  • BarringtonRealEstateAgent Jul 27, 2007 @ 12:38 am | delete
    Wow! Great lens! I'm an only child with an only child and my wife is the youngest of four. What do we both have in common? Great parents! -- Thanks for the list of Famous Onlies!
  • Sela Jul 27, 2007 @ 12:23 am | delete
    I'm an only and I don't think I've missed out and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Thanks for your Lens, I didn't know there was a whole only world online. I'm excited!
  • Deana Jul 26, 2007 @ 11:49 pm | delete
    I just want to say thank you for laying out such a wonderful lens. My husband and I have an only child by choice and I really enjoyed this lens. Occasionally I wonder if I should have another, but I really think one is best for us and your input really helped me to see the pros of having an only.
  • KCStargazer Jul 26, 2007 @ 11:08 pm | delete
    Christene- Congratulations from your fellow Group Members at the Kaleidoscope Group on LOTD for you thoughtful and interesting lens! We're so proud of you!
  • SARASOTASWEETIE Jul 26, 2007 @ 11:05 pm | delete
    From an only child whose parents were only children and my son who is an only child. Great lens! 5 stars!
  • catch-cheating Jul 26, 2007 @ 9:56 pm | delete
    very interesting lens, great work, 5 star
  • bdkz Jul 26, 2007 @ 9:43 pm | delete
    Great lens. I am an only child too!
  • elaines Jul 26, 2007 @ 9:36 pm | delete
    Awesome lens! I am an only child and I have an only child by choice. I can so totally relate and understand everything you've said. Parents of those with 2 or more just can't understand the benefits of being an only child. I would not change a thing. 5 stars and lensrolls for you!
  • Magis Jul 26, 2007 @ 9:28 pm | delete
    Great lens. I respect your opinion but it doesn't work for me. I am an only child and I was fine with it growing up but have hated it since I became an adult. I always wanted more than one child - so I have two. I love kids and think that it's not the number- it's the attitude that makes the family
  • vintageclothesline Jul 26, 2007 @ 8:59 pm | delete
    I am one of two "only" children. My only sibling is 14 years older than me. Don't remember him even living there.
  • prof Jul 26, 2007 @ 7:54 pm | delete
    I am an only and didn't mind being one growing up. I wish now, as an adult, I had siblings; mostly because I see how close my mom is to her sisters and how close my own kids are. But this is how God made me, so I am happy!
  • wellnesstools Jul 26, 2007 @ 7:49 pm | delete
    Hi Christene
    I am an only child and I know it made me a decision maker and thinker. Excelled in school. I was always independent and never marched to others drum beats. I love being myself.
  • Camie Jul 26, 2007 @ 7:21 pm | delete
    Hi,
    Great comments about the "rude questions"--which apply in many cases, including for those of us that don't have any kids at all. It's so old listening to those comments... Anyway, I was going to say that I found it fascinating that you felt no expectations from anyone! Very rare I think!
  • digitalscrap Jul 26, 2007 @ 7:16 pm | delete
    I remember visiting your lens a while ago :) Congrats on lotd!! I told people I know about the great page you made but they still insist on arguing with me about the whole only child debate. They insist you cant just have one! LOL .. keep up the good work :)
  • gorgeousthings Jul 26, 2007 @ 7:09 pm | delete
    Thank you! Great lens. Couple of things, the downside is having all of your parents expectations levelled directly at you, the best part is you get all the love!
  • debsgreatfinds Jul 26, 2007 @ 7:06 pm | delete
    great lens i am the oldest of 2 brother and sister and both are all about them selfs i am the only one who was with my mom and taking care of her and my grandmother bother haven't seen 20 years hates us sister is drugie. so you might as well say i am a only child. I have 2 kids and we are very close
  • KimGiancaterino Jul 26, 2007 @ 7:04 pm | delete
    Great lens. I'm the oldest of four, so this is foreign territory to me. Congrats on LOTD. Well deserved.
  • thewizardalbany Jul 26, 2007 @ 7:03 pm | delete
    I am an only child but at 9 I was sent from Singapore to boarding school in Perth, Australia. A shock to the system and - suddenly I had a host of brothers,that was the end of being an only child!
    Like MomMag, I was a bit miffed not to have siblings so I have 3 boys now to make up for it!
  • CollectorsCottage Jul 26, 2007 @ 6:59 pm | delete
    Great lens! I'm an only with an only as well. However, I would have preferred to have had siblings and would also have preferred for my child to have siblings (some things are not in our control!). But I think everyone should do what's right for them and feel no pressure to do otherwise.
  • Caseyfern Jul 26, 2007 @ 6:29 pm | delete
    Very good lens. As the eldest of eight, being an only sounds like moving to a foreign land. Much as I love my delightful sibling tribe, I can understand the one child benefits. Thank you for a thought-provoking presentation.
  • EverythingMouse Jul 21, 2007 @ 10:32 pm | delete
    A great lens. As you say, whatever number of children we choose to have is a personal choice. No matter what we do, some people always have to think there is a right and a wrong way. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
  • Jul 21, 2007 @ 9:32 am | delete
    I am not the only child but thanks for showing me the "only child" world!
  • Minivan_Mama Jul 18, 2007 @ 10:32 pm | delete
    This is such a great resource to parents who struggle with the internal battle of "adding another child or not." As a mom of 2 I have watched my son change from an only to a sib...somedays I curse the decision and other days I celebrate it.
  • sara08852 Jul 14, 2007 @ 11:53 am | delete
    I love your "Comebacks to some of those rude questions". My husband and I have an only child. She is still too young but soon enough I'm sure she will be featured under your "Famous Only Children" module. (Smile) Anyway, thanks for making such a wonderful lens. 5* well deserved.
  • Quilteralice Jul 13, 2007 @ 2:20 pm | delete
    Good lens! I was an only child and have good memories of my childhood. I sometimes wished for siblings, but the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence!
    Thanks, Alice
  • Cozytailmom Jul 13, 2007 @ 9:37 am | delete
    As my children are bored and currently ripping each other's hair out, the only child option does seem appealing. I think people should have as many kids as they want and no one should judge them for it.
  • Brite-Ideas Jul 8, 2007 @ 2:57 pm | delete
    Christene,

    Hey there. Great lens to help remove the pressure of having just one child (I have to admit I wasn't sure if that was a good thing-you've educated me a bit more). But get a load of this - I have 4 sons and 2 stepsons and a step daughter (I'm tired just typing this, lol)
    Barb
    http://www.squidoo.com/oopspee/
  • melward Jul 7, 2007 @ 11:52 pm | delete
    Wow - Great lens... I am an only child and have always loved it.
  • w00w00 Jul 5, 2007 @ 3:03 pm | delete
    I was an only child and for myself wish that I had siblings. My husband who has 2 brothers wanted to stop at one child after our son was born but I had always wanted to have two children so they would have each other - I got my way and have two wonderful boys.
  • globalcause Jul 3, 2007 @ 12:38 pm | delete
    What a thought-provoking site. Thanks for sharing.
  • sweepea1031 Jul 3, 2007 @ 11:36 am | delete
    I am an only and now my daughter is also. I loved being an only child and never wanted siblings. My parents didn't spoil me, but provided me with all their love and attention and I grew up to be a self-confident, social, intelligent woman. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family
  • datingtips93 Jul 2, 2007 @ 11:38 pm | delete
    I wasn't an only child but I can certainly understand why it may be advantageous. I can tell you from my experience (growing up introverted before opening up) that having a sibling doesn't necessarily make you more socialized. That still depends on other upbringing and life situation matters.
  • Janet Jul 1, 2007 @ 11:34 pm | delete
    I am an only. There was good to it and there were some drawbacks, but obviously it depends on the parenting and environment more than anything else. I was more self-reliant and independent which has benefitted me greatly in college and career life.
  • Susan Newman, Ph.D. Jun 30, 2007 @ 1:56 pm | delete
    Christene: You've done a great job of helping people understand that three is a family and you are just as much a parent with all its privileges and joys as those who decide to have more than one child. Do onlies fare as well as those with siblings? All the research, SHOUTS, YES!!!
  • Kmre68 Jun 28, 2007 @ 4:27 pm | delete
    Good page. I have an only and she is four. She is the light of our lives. We have been hearing for years how we should have more. I try to be polite but some times it is hard.
    Thanks for this lens, it really helped.
  • frances Jun 22, 2007 @ 4:27 pm | delete
    Very interesting read. I come from a family of 3 siblings and I have 4 children. Reading why you chose to have an only child made me see the virtues of having just one for the first time ever.
  • Elizabeth Potts Weinstein Jun 7, 2007 @ 8:27 pm | delete
    Thanks, this is what I needed to read! I'm a mom of one, and everyone keeps asking me if we are going to have more ... and maybe we are fine with one. :)
  • Robbin May 30, 2007 @ 2:05 pm | delete
    Oh, and visit my lenses if you have time. I wasn't logged in when I commented below!
  • Robbin May 30, 2007 @ 2:00 pm | delete
    Hi, I'm an only too and I agree, even if you have siblings, doesn't mean you are close to them when you grow up. Great idea for a lens! And I love the list of famous onlies. Giving you 5 stars!
  • Intuitive May 29, 2007 @ 9:23 am | delete
    I'm an only and have been very proud of it for years. I think in retrospect i was not very well socialized and it has been a stumbling block to my finding a mate or even dating very much because it's hard for me to not get my own way. I could go on and on...lol
  • puterbug May 26, 2007 @ 12:56 pm | delete
    I am not an only child, and I had 2 boys, but this is a great lens and good reading. When my second son was born, I decided 2 was enough for me. Doctors told me I "was too young to make that decision", and worse! "What if "something happens" to one of your babies and you want to replace him?" !!!!
  • Horseangel May 26, 2007 @ 11:45 am | delete
    Hi
    I'm not an only child, but I think this is such a great lens topic and I really enjoyed reading it..thanks!
    Blessings
    horseangel
  • MelissaLee May 22, 2007 @ 11:57 am | delete
    I'm an only too. We haven't been able to have children, but if we could have I think one is the magic number. I love having the ability to be creative and independent. I was never spoiled, even though money was never an object, I had to work for everything I received. Great lens, thanks for sharing!
  • Jimmie May 17, 2007 @ 2:33 am | delete
    I have an only! :-) I liked this lens! I want to read that article about onlies myths later.
    Thanks for knighting my lens with your SQUID ANGEL blessing!
  • Tracy May 16, 2007 @ 2:04 pm | delete
    Hi ! I'm also an only of an only ( son 11 yrs. old ) and agree with all you've mentioned. I LOVE my family and my solitude. If I didn't have solitude I'd go nuts ! Great site :-)
  • KarenKay May 10, 2007 @ 2:01 pm | delete
    Hi Christene!
    My child (4) is an only. I had not thought much about the significance of that until I saw your site! Thanks for waking me up!
    I will sing him "one" on a regular basis. It's "one" of my fav's already.
    Great Job!
    KK
  • rksmythe May 8, 2007 @ 9:02 pm | delete
    I'm the middle kid out of three -- Now there's an entertaining lens to write "The Middle Child". I am though a father of an only child and I wouldn't change a thing. Great lens - Squid Angel blessings.
  • daoine May 8, 2007 @ 8:32 pm | delete
    Fascinating to see another side of the story. I'm an only child too, but it took a long time to recover from the damage caused by not socialising with other children other than a few forced hours at school.
  • gods_grace_notes May 7, 2007 @ 9:48 pm | delete
    Hi Christine, My baby girl (she's 29 now!) is my only...she gave meaning to my life; and brought me as much joy and happiness as 10 children! I am blessed for her to be my "only". Thanks for this great celebration of onlies! Connie
  • Barkely May 6, 2007 @ 9:31 pm | delete
    I am glad I found this. You have some great information here. I have an only son. It wasn't by choice, but now I wouldn't have it any other way. I thank God every day for him.
  • flaminglacer May 4, 2007 @ 5:09 pm | delete
    Christene - I found this lens whilst browsing, as Mother of an only child I found it an excellent resource. Should have recognised it as one of yours sooner!

    Squid Angel Star
  • blondeheroine May 4, 2007 @ 12:53 am | delete
    This is now one of my favorite lenses. I'm an only child and I have never seen a list of famous only children. I now feel as if I am in good company. I got teased quite a bit for being an only child, but friends tell me I'm the most creative person they know and I think it's because I was an only!
  • safa40 Apr 25, 2007 @ 1:00 am | delete
    Thanks for an great lens. I have two kids, but have many friends with only one. Definately a subject worth discussing.
  • ChristineRE Apr 14, 2007 @ 9:45 am | delete
    Christene - Thanks for sending me here. It is a great 1 stop shop for parents of onlies!!!
  • ipodwheels Apr 3, 2007 @ 7:53 pm | delete
    Christene,

    Congratulations you just made my top lenses of the week. This is one fine lens you have here. I hope you add to it more. I like the insight you have and this has been a fun visit.

    Check out your lens at the Auto Parts Place Blog.
  • Lady_Gotrocks Mar 27, 2007 @ 6:22 pm | delete
    Hi, I saw you in the lenses we like forum, nice job so far.

    See my gem store
    Comprehensive Guide to buying Alexandrite gems
  • webseitler Mar 24, 2007 @ 10:17 pm | delete
    I'm an only child and my life's biggest wish was for my daughter to have a sibling (which came true this July--she now has a baby brother). I could make a lens extolling all the wonderful things about having a big family! ;) But I do like your lens and I think it's a neat topic to focus on. :D
  • rogercarr Mar 17, 2007 @ 7:23 pm | delete
    I am the parent of an only child. Thanks for the great lens.
  • technovoid Mar 15, 2007 @ 1:25 am | delete
    Excellent lens. never thought much about this before.
  • Sara Mar 5, 2007 @ 10:40 am | delete
    Have to giggle about giving your only a sibling if asked....What if he asks you to send the new baby back? :-) What if he asks for a unicorn? Or a pet zebra?
  • Donna C Mar 3, 2007 @ 8:17 pm | delete
    I am both an only child and the mother of an only child. Technically he had a brother for 2 years, arriving when my firstborn was 2.5yrs. I would have welcomed more children, but it evidently wasn't to be--never got pregnant again. Homeschooling for 11yrs 1yr to go. Ck my website: http://donnac.com
  • Amel Mar 3, 2007 @ 6:02 am | delete
    I understand that some parents can choose to only have one child. However, I really think parents should listen to their kids...if their first child ask for brother or sister and if it's not too complicated (for financial or healthy reasons) so be it! the more we are...the more fun we'll have!.
  • groovyoldlady Feb 20, 2007 @ 4:49 pm | delete
    I do like your positive spin on the topic, BUT I was an only and I hated it. I fantasized for years and years of having brothers and sisters. I was spoiled and egocentric too. I have four kids now and wish we had more!
  • Kathie Feb 17, 2007 @ 8:16 pm | delete
    I think you've hit the nail on the head on the head here for why one is just the perfect number of children! I have no desire to be a taxi driver, or referee, or to spend years lurching frantically from one recital or game to the next. I can enjoy my son without distraction, and still be 'me', too.
  • MoreThanMommy Feb 17, 2007 @ 12:00 am | delete
    I was an only til my mom remarried when I was 8-I've still got an only mindset! I think you exaggerate the "issues" that kids with sibs have and I do wish I had bio. siblings (although I love my sisters). That said, I think each family has a right to make decisions without being judged by others.
  • Espie Feb 11, 2007 @ 7:56 am | delete
    Love this lens! We have an only child, she's 6 years old. I love the fact that we can focus on her upbringing while building a career for ourselves.
  • Janet21 Feb 10, 2007 @ 1:41 pm | delete
    Even though only having one child is not for our family(we have 3 and love it), I still enjoyed reading your lens and obtaining the perspective of an only. Nice job on the lens! Great info!
  • KCStargazer Feb 9, 2007 @ 11:01 pm | delete
    Great lens!
    Not an only chid- but was a PT Nanny for one for several years- waaay back when. Have seen the advantages/disadvantages. She turned out great!
    Welcome to the Kaleidoscope Group!
  • Krissy Feb 9, 2007 @ 11:00 pm | delete
    Christene,
    Love the page! Anyone and everyone is always welcome over at BabyCenter, please feel free to join us and add your only story as well.
    Again, Great page Christene!
  • CindyM Feb 9, 2007 @ 2:17 pm | delete
    Great lens Christene,

    I'm an only child as well and my favorite line when people find out I'm an only child is "Oh...weren't you kinda spoiled?" Yeah, like Paris Hilton is so grounded because she has siblings!
  • Sara Feb 8, 2007 @ 6:24 pm | delete
    I couldn't agree more! What a wonderful summation of the one child family!
  • Raye Feb 8, 2007 @ 1:38 pm | delete
    I love your squidoo! I'm adding it to my feeds! I especially like the wisecrack responses... I think I'll have to remember those!
  • Martha Feb 8, 2007 @ 10:58 am | delete
    Christene, this is awesome. If you don't mind, I'm going to put you on my blogroll. Great job!!
  • Kerry Feb 8, 2007 @ 8:10 am | delete
    Christene,
    Thanks for providing another place on the web to sing the praises of our onlies! Looks like you have some neat info here!!

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Christene

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