How to order a pizza 101

Things you will need to order a pizza by phone is:

A phone, some form of payment, a grasp of the language spoken in your area (english in ours), and an address where you or someone will pay for the delivery and purchase.

Common sense.

I've said it a thousand times, there should be a class on how to order a pizza.

Okay here's how my class would go.

Before you even consider ordering a pizza, if it's dark out.. go turn on the outside light and make sure the stairs are fairly clear of ice, snow, appliances yes..I said appliances and other crap.

If you're extremely drunk and there is someone else around, let them place the order.

If your dog is not friendly, put him in another room or bathroom when I get there..don't just try to keep him from attacking me with your foot while you're paying me.

Don't tell us that you're a regular hoping for special treatment especially when I haven't been to your place in months.

Don't tell me that we had a special with a free drink last week when we haven't had one like that in 3 years.

I hate having to step over 10 pairs of shoes in the doorway while I'm trying NOT to drop your order...you know I'm coming..you called me..please clear the doorway at the very least.

I am very polite until it's time not to be polite. Answer my questions when I ask and I will listen to yours.

The customer is not always right.

I always understand if someone is a little short and can't afford a tip but when it continuely happens with 40 dollar orders you will not recieve 100% from me.

I personally don't order a pizza unless I have at least a ten percent tip.

When I ask you how you will paying and you say cash, don't tell me at the door you told the person on the phone you wanted to use debit.

Don't phone us and tell us it's been two hours since you ordered. We have call display and will tell you exactly how long it's been (usually about 43 minutes).

Don't phone back and change your order 6 times...it is usually in the oven within 5 minutes.

VERY IMPORTANT! This happened to me three times this weekend...don't order a pizza if you are out shopping, at the bar or not at home for any other reason...you will not be there before I am. Also don't get into a shower or go in the garage or basement and crank the music or tv and don't tie up your phone because I will be trying to call you when you don't hear the door.

Don't lie to me.

I would never do anything to your food but I know a lot of people who will.

Pain in the butt people will receive their food last even if they were first.

Your driver is often involved with all aspects of making and delivering your food, please show him or her respect when you come to the door..let us in if it's raining especially if we have a hand held machine. Let us in if there's no outside light. Let us in if it's 50 below out. Talk to us during the transaction not someone on the phone or everyone in the room. Please have the money ready or nearby instead of making us and the next customer wait for ten minutes.

I used to look away when people use their pin numbers on the machine but most people don't even try to hide it from me so now I don't. I'm honest but a lot of pizza delivery dudes are not. I can't figure this one out???!

I don't smoke and I don't want your smoke right in my face when you answer the door.

If you say to call when I get there, don't ask me why I called you first before knocking!

If you live in an apartment give us the buzz code (YOU know whether or not I need to buzz in, I don't).

If you order over a hundred dollars worth and don't tip a cent..that is not cool and like Linda says I never forget.

If you need change for a fifty or higher let us know first because I rarely carry that kind of money.

It really isn't hard to do any of this. I treat everyone with common sense, respect and honesty and expect the same in return. I also would not do anything unethical but others would. Keep this in mind.

Why am I doing this job if I have all these problems you ask? The pay of course. Good drivers make a lot of cash and two thirds of the people out there are no problem...it's the other third that makes it interesting.

Ordering pizza is a privilage, not a right.

If you enjoyed my lens, please check out my other ones and visit my wife's website

www.harnessyoursunpower.com

and my new business

www.youcollectweconnect.com Thank you!

Newly added:

Don't order a pizza over the phone when you're in the washroom peeing....WE CAN HEAR THAT!

Meeting all the puppies and kitties!

I would almost take that in lew of a tip but don't tell anyone that LoL!

I get to meet so many really great animals, even a ferret, snakes and tarantula's (although I could get along without the huge fricken' spider's).

I've met a Molly, Piper, Abby, Muk Muk, Bear and plenty more.

I love meeting the animals more then the people sometimes HaH!