The Outhouse Birdhouse

Some people feel that a box of chocolates is the best all purpose gift around. I disagree. A few years ago I was caught in a quandary. My mother planned this huge surprise birthday party for my Aunt Gertrude. I had to bring a gift, but my Aunt Gertrude has every kitchen gadget known to man (she doesn't cook but that's beside the point,) knick-knacks already cover every available surface, she can kill a plant just by looking at it, considers anything filmed after 1950 to be full of sin and decadence. (Did you know film producers are the Devil's spawn? I found that out four years ago when I gave her a DVD of The Sound of Music.)

Buying clothes is out. Aunt Gertrude claims to wear a nine, but anything smaller than an eighteen is bound to burst its seams the first time she tries it on.

To play it safe I bought my aunt a box of Godiva Chocolates. Who doesn't like chocolate?

How was I to know? Aunt Gertrude had just started on a brand new diet, and when it failed... I'm still taking the heat for that.

The Outhouse Birdhouse is a Sentimental gift.

We, a society of pampered princes, will always remember the outhouse with whimsical fondness.

The Outhouse Birdhouse is Practical.

If your brother is not into bird watching, he can always use it for a paperweight.

The Outhouse Birdhouse is Unique.

The odds of there being another one like it under the tree are slim.

The Outhouse Birdhouse is Memorable.

In time your father will forget which one of the hundred ties hanging in his closet was a gift from your sister, but he'll never forget who gave him the Outhouse Birdhouse.

There are many people on my gift list that are difficult to buy for. My mother is one of them. She is an avid backyard bird watcher and I considered giving her another bird feeder, but she doesn't get around as well as she used to. She has trouble keeping up with the bird feeders she already has.

Once hung, a bird house doesn't require daily maintenance. She can sit back and watch a mated pair tend the nest, and then enjoy the antics of the fledglings. It is a gift she will enjoy for years to come.

Why a Birdhouse Outhouse?

That's easy. My mother lives on a farm and the outhouse that was part of the landscape when I was a child is no longer standing. It doesn't matter if the farm house has indoor plumbing. A farm is not a farm without an outhouse.