6 Steps To Overcome Shyness

Using These simple six steps, and with Gods help I have learned to overcome my shyness. I now meet new people almost daily and I do public speaking on a regular basis. Best of all I really enjoy meeting new people, making new friends, and publice speaking is a joy. You can overcome your fears of rejection and shness if you will follow these simple six steps and put them into practice. These are not really hard, but they will require some effort and you should do these in order.

The first step to overcoming anything in life is to get a good understanding of what you are dealing with and why.

I want you to understand that there are millions of people who suffer from shyness. You are not alone and you are not unusual. After I overcame shyness, I was amazed to find out that there are so many people who are shy. In every crowd you will find them-they are there in the crowd, but they are alone.

I believe that some people are just naturally shy because that is their personality. I recommend that you read Personality Plus by Florence Littauer. This book will greatly help you to understand why people are the way they are, and why they think the way they do.

More severe shyness is usually caused from low self-esteem. This was my problem. People with low self-esteem usually do not feel good about themselves, and they have a low opinion of themselves. Because of low self-esteem a person usually feels they just won't meet up to the expectations of others. They feel and fear rejection before they ever get started. This is a horrible feeling and very frustrating.

You must have a proper understanding of why you are shy in order to effectively defeat it. Let me also add that I know that you can do it. Say that out loud right now "I CAN DO IT".

You need something to boost your self confidence. The truth is that your fears are deceiving you! Fear is deceiving.
Fear is:

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Now I did not invent that acronym but it is certainly true.

You must stop criticizing yourself and start focusing on your good points. We all have our own good points-now what are yours? Write them down and make a list of everything that is good about you. Write down your accomplishments and anything that makes you feel good about yourself.

Start reading books about self-esteem and how to build your confidence. Some good positive thinking books would be very helpful also. The idea is to start feeding your brain some good positive stuff. Make a commitment to read at least fifteen minutes a day. You deserve to do this for yourself so do not skip this step.

This step is really a continuation of step two, but it takes you further and deeper. This step will help you to gently move out of your comfort zone. This made me feel really silly at first, but the results were well worth feeling silly. This is very important and you MUST NOT skip this step! Trust me, this will help you more than you realize!

What you need to do is practice talking to yourself in the mirror. Start by introdcing yourself as if you have never met you. After you have met yourself then you need to begin to tell youself positive things about yourself. You should do this for about five to ten minutes per day.

Here are some things to say to yourself and you should add things as you go. Be sure to call yourself by name. Your brain loves to hear your name.

"Name" you are a good person.
"Name" you are fun to be with.
"Name" you are an amazing person, there is only one like you, you are truly unique, and people like you.
"Name" people really like to meet you because you are a nice person.
"Name" you can do anything you set your mind to do.

Work on your list of nice things to say to yourself. Always be positive and never say anything negative. Again I repeat for emphasis, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, say anything negative to youself or to anyone about yourself.

Practice this self talk and try putting emphasis in different places, just be sure that it is positive.

What will happen is you will start feeling better about yourself, and after a while your brain will start believing you. Your self confidence will go up and you will find more power in yourself to start talking to people.

It is important that you do each of these small steps in order. You will feel slightly uncomfortable at first, but after you start doing them you will find that it is really quite easy.
You will need to go somewhere where there are people. If there are people around you in your daily routines then you can do them during your normal routines. If not, then plan to go somewhere like a shopping center or any place where there are people gathered.
I recomend that you work on one of these small steps for a week, and then move to the next one.

During the first week, find at least ten people and give them a genuine smile. Almost everyone likes a smile and cannot resist smiling back. If someone asks you why are you smiling, simply tell them you are just being friendly and sociable.

The second week, smile and say hello to at least ten people.Once again you will find that most people will be friendly and will greet you back. If you meet a grouch then simply do what I call a FIDO, which means forget it and drive on.

The third week you should be able to add a comment to your hello like " nice day isn't it" or "how are you today". Most people will start talking to you. From here it only gets easier.

After about three weeks of the small steps, you are now greeting people you will be ready for this. You want to introduce yourself. For example, after greeting them I would simply say "my name is Randy. Whats yours?" When you get this far, you have got this shy thing whipped!

People like to talk about themselves. To make a good conversationist, all you have to do is learn to be a good listener. Most people are not really interested in what you have to say-they are interested in what they are saying! This makes things even easier for you because all you have to do now is give them a casual interview, and they will talk themselves into a great conversation! By doing this, you will gain many friends.

Ok, here is the secret formula. Remember you are asking questions and listening intently. Let them talk and listen, listen,and listen. Remember this acronym and you will be able start a conversation with almost anyone. FORM
Family
Occupation
Recreation
Message or Make a friend

Most women will be more than glad to tell you about their family. Just ask them, "Do you have any family?" This will keep them talking for a while, but be sure to listen.
Men are more likely to want to talk about their occupation. As far as recreation, everyone likes to tell you what they like to do for fun. Just ask them " What do you like to do for fun or enjoyment?" M stand for message. This is where you tell them what you want to tell them or just simply make a friend.

This is really self explanatory-just keep on doing these steps, and you will become very good at talking with people. You will build your self esteem and you will find that it is really fun to just go out and talk to people.

Yes, there may be times that you will stumble for what to say or do, but just don't give up. Get determined and do these things and you will overcome shyness.

NOW GO MAKE SOME FRIENDS AND HAVE FUN DOING IT!