How many Pagans does it take...

Ribbit

Just one, and it's NOT FUNNY!!!

They don't screw in light bulbs,
they screw in Stone Circles.

Do you really need me
to tell you the answer?

If you think a goblet is a young turkey....

If you think Drawing Down the Moon means demolishing the outhouse....

If you call your coven mates "Bud" and "Sis"....

If your idea of the "Goddess" is the Coors Swedish Bikini Ski Team....

If your Bard plays the banjo....

If your favorite robe has the logo of a manufacturer of major farm equipment on the back....

If the instructions to get to your Covenstead include the words "After you turn off the paved road"....

If your Eternal Flame just happens to be under a still....

If your High Priestess is your cousin - as well as your wife....

Seems there was a group of Ku Klux Klansmen in Texas who heard that some Pagans were holding a ritual out in the woods somewhere. Having run out of other minorities to harass, they decided to get back to their roots and practice some religious bigotry in addition to the usual racial intolerance and break up the party with a good ol' cross-burning.
So anyway, these fellows loaded up some lumber and a couple of cans of gasoline and went out hunting for these Pagans they'd heard about, hoping to catch them dancing nekkid around a fire or something.
They found the spot where the other vehicles were parked and donned their hoods. Grabbing the lumber and gasoline, they assembled a cross and strode off into the woods, confident that they'd scare any remaining pants off the fluffybunny Pagans.
They were a little disconcerted to find themselves looking at the business end of at least 2 spears, a couple of swords, assorted knives, and more than one firearm. They'd crashed an Asatru blot and didn't realize that not all Pagans are pacifists.
From somewhere behind the hardware, a voice called out "If that cross goes up, you're getting nailed to it. I've got my hammer right here..."
The Klansmen left in a bit of a hurry, it's said.

There was no future in it

The wicked wick of the north!

An itchy witchy

Someone who worships
the tree that is not there.

Someone who worships the square roots
of the tree that is not there.

Someone who worships the bark
of the tree that is not there.

* MM = Merry Meet
* Round shape for wheel of the year, cycle of seasons
* Skins are different colors, but the inside is the same chocolate, because we are all related.
* Associations with the colors: Red = South, Green = West, Dark Brown = North, Yellow = East, Orange = For the Solar God, Light Brown = For the Earth Mother (Copper Woman)
* Rotate the M & M:
M = 13th letter of alphabet, and there are 13 witches in a coven
3 = Triple Goddess, three phases of moon
W = Witchcraft, Wiccan
E = Enlightenment, Enchantment of chocolate
* "Melt in your mouth, not in your hand"--God/dess's love must be experienced directly to appreciate. Also, God/dess will take care of you.
* Sweetness to remind us of how sweet the love of the God and Goddess is!

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