...and all I could do was cry

This day is one that I will not easily forget. Started wrong, I already felt like I had walked at least 5 blocks. Recieved a call around 12pm I couldn't still barely move. However, I needed to for that was my sister-in-law telling me she was on her way from NJ to NYC! How will I be able to do this I asked myself. I mustered some strength to take a shower. Oh no! Once I came-out I felt some real hot heat coming into my body (nothing I've felt before, not quite since last yr). What was going on with me? All of sudden I felt very weak. I felt like I was going to pass-out. I told myself, I am not sure I'm going to make it. I needed to rest. I barely managed to send-out two emergency emails to my brother (his wife was the one that had called earlier) to tell him I might not be able to make it to Penn Station (this horrible place is where his wife had wanted me to meet her in order to see my niece, that was visiting actually from Cali.). All I remember afterwards was waking up at around 9PM! Barely, to just eat--- and pass-out again.

I cried before passing-out both times. When I finally woke-up it was 11PM. I didn't have the courage to call anyone. I was far too emotional. Distraught I didn't get to see the baby. I felt like I had failed me and abandoned my flesh and blood. Afterall, she is a baby (only two) how on earth would she be able to come and see me?!