Paraprosdokian Sentences - The best kind of humor
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I can't claim these paraprosdokian sentences
"She got her good looks from her father; he's a plastic surgeon""
This quote, from Groucho Marx, was my first exposure to paraprosdokian sentences. Not that I hadn't heard them but that there was actually a name for the sentences or phrases. Paraprosdokian sentences are when the end of the sentences causes one to rethink the first part of the sentence. It can be more than one sentence but the point is the ending is not expected.
With that in mind, I went looking for more.
Click on the big arrow, turn on your speakers and start your journey. This will pronounce the word for you. I have found no help in learning how to spell it other than to suggest that you write it ten times. That's what we do with our grandson and his spelling words. Although I have written it here more than 10 times, it was a cut and paste so I still can't spell it.
Paraprosdokian sentences
This list is from The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation. You'll need to check out the link to read the rest but here are my 10 favorites.
- The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation
- 1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
5. Some people are like Slinky's, not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
6. I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
7. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
8. Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
9. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
10. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. (My side note - this is research) - More Paraprosdokian Examples
- Another list of Paraprosdokian examples.
Bob Monkhouse
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car"
Groucho Marx
The King of Paraprosdokian sentences
Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx was born October 2, 1890. He was a comedian and known for his quick wit and one-liners. He made 13 films with his sibling. He also starred in two radio and television game shows, You Bet Your Life (where my father was a contestant) and Tell it to Groucho. He was instantly recognizable with his glasses, cigars and greasepaint mustache and eyebrows. He passed away on August 19, 1977.Some of my favorite Groucho Paraprosdokian sentences are:
She got her good looks from her father; he's a plastic surgeon
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
Humor is reason gone mad.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Learn more about Groucho Marx
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Winston Churchill
Another cigar smoker with a talent for Paraprosdokian sentences
One of the greatest statesman of all time, Winston Churchill was also a master at paraprosdokian sentences."You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing - after they have tried everything else."
"A modest man, who has much to be modest about."
"There but for the grace of God - goes God."
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
Winston Churchill
Learn more about Winston Churchill
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Take my wife-please
Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman was also a master at Paraprosdokian sentences. His "Take my wife - Please" is probably the best known but there are so many more. He was born in Britain on March 16, 1906. He passed away on February 24, 1998. He is known for his comedy routine that included a violin and a series of one-liners. Here are just a few."Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
"I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him."
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."
"I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me."
"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."
More about Henny Youngman
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
Henny Youngman
Erma Bombeck
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
Erma Bombeck was also a writer of Paraprosdokian sentences
This is a great lens about Erma Bombeck and well worth a read.
If this doesn't make you laugh, nothing will
The Hallmark website is below for all the Maxine cartoons. Of all the lines that they carry, this is absolutely my favorite.
Maxine
While not all of the Maxine comments fit into this category, most of them do.
- Hallmark Maxine
- This is Hallmarks Website for Maxine. They have lots of downloadable images to cheer up anyone but I just had to post my favorite.
Lensmasters who have more Paraprosdikian Sentences to share
Besides being completely funny, this lens by Quippingqueen has a bunch more Paraprosdokian Sentences that I have not included here. If you need more things to laugh about, they are here.
At the end of Growing Old is Good are several more great examples of Paraprosdokian Sentences. The lens itself is a great read.
At the end of Growing Old is Good are several more great examples of Paraprosdokian Sentences. The lens itself is a great read.
Let the fun begin
Several people have suggested other paraprosdokian sentences.
If you have a favorite, please post it here.
"I'd like to help you out... which way did you come in?"
Maxine from lensmaster egosney786 points
My parents always warned me to stay away from the basement door
one day I opened it and was surprised by how beaut more...0 points
Reader Feedback
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seegreen
May 24, 2012 @ 6:54 am | delete
- I love these. Wonderful lens!
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Jim Beard
May 19, 2012 @ 2:49 am | delete
- If I've done something that I should be sorry for, I'm willing to be forgiven.
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piarejuden
May 11, 2012 @ 5:49 pm | delete
- What an amazing lens! You are an inspiration! These set my day on the right path,, they were hilarious!
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brendajoy May 7, 2012 @ 4:59 pm | delete
- The whole thing is awesome! I miss Groucho, we watched him faithfully when I was a kid. I never heard of paraprosdokian sentences before. Thanks for cluing me in. It was great fun and giggles.
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Nimsrules May 2, 2012 @ 7:52 am | delete
- laughed till my ribs ached. Stupendous lens.
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Tipi
Apr 27, 2012 @ 10:51 am | delete
- Thought I would stop by and see what's new here. Such a fun lens, you have a great sense of humor my dear. <3
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JoshK47
Apr 27, 2012 @ 10:00 am | delete
- Popping back in to bless this lens! :)
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randomthings
Apr 23, 2012 @ 7:00 pm | delete
- THAT was funny. THANKS! I had not heard the work paraprosdokian before, but have always enjoyed the humor.
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soaringsis Apr 21, 2012 @ 4:24 pm | delete
- Making anyone smile is a gift.I shall return whenever I need a little help with being
made to feel good. Love your lens.
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siobhanryan
Apr 12, 2012 @ 7:13 pm | delete
- What a great idea for a lens-what a great lens---I will show myself out
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quester
Apr 6, 2012 @ 10:07 am | delete
- Erma and Winston - what more could one ask for - but I won't go there
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Wordwinder
Apr 4, 2012 @ 6:49 am | delete
- Know this, O worthy and diligent lensmaster;
With accomplishment you've earned a tryster.
As a token of immense appreciation expressed,
A squid angel leaves this lens heartily blessed.
On a rendering that is sparkling in its own right,
Propagating an appealing thought well and quite;
If you were to notice a slender shimmering crust;
From the angel's wand, it is a spill of stardust.
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Jolent Mar 30, 2012 @ 3:42 pm | delete
- Absolutely fantastic! I had no idea these fun sentences actually had a name. Now, I think I may be hooked.
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MaggiePowell
Mar 29, 2012 @ 1:05 pm | delete
- These are fantastic... I've been a fan of these sentences and these wordsmiths for a long time without knowing the word paraprosdokian. Thanks
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CruiseReady Mar 29, 2012 @ 7:45 am | delete
- Many thanks for introducing me to the term paraprosdokian. I had never heard it before, but know now that I have long been intrigued by the paraprosdokian thought process.
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RStiltskin
Mar 20, 2012 @ 4:58 pm | delete
- Excellent lens-
Reminds of Woody Allen, many, many years ago explaining he was expelled from college for cheating--with the deans wife!
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Einar_A
Mar 13, 2012 @ 11:51 pm | delete
- What fun! This certainly made me laugh.
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thewayeyeseeit Mar 12, 2012 @ 6:43 pm | delete
- Well, I think I learned a new word today.. but I will wait a few minutes to see if I can remember it LOL. Great stuff!
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dfroray
Mar 11, 2012 @ 10:09 am | delete
- Thanks for the good laugh. Nothing brightens the day like a good chuckle.
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davenjilli
Feb 23, 2012 @ 4:59 pm | delete
- I never knew what those types of sentences were..blessings
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It is hard to get people to understand that Paraprosdokian Sentences are funny. This is all about humor and the way that we use language. Need a laugh... more »
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