School tips for Parents

After lazing in the summer sun down the shore or by the pool, enjoying longer days and cooking out on the grill, the ringing of the school bell is truly imminent. Some schools have already gone back to school but many of us are still waiting for the REAL ending of the summer - the US Open, the Jerry Lewis Telethon and the last gasp, Labor Day.

However, back to school is not merely for the students: parents have to get themselves in gear too. Take it from a teacher, parents: getting involved can help your children get ahead. In fact, parental involvement is on the top of the list for most teachers when asked what will help students achieve. Here's a list of tips that can help you help your child to avoid the depths of underachievement.

As Yoda the Jedi Master said, "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try." So often we say as parents, "I tried to do ....but I couldn't because of ..." When it comes to getting involved, do just that, get involved. Don't wait. Send a note to your child's teacher(s) indicating your willingness to help out. Become a class parent. Lend your assistance at school functions. Attend back to school, conference, PTO/PTA meetings and concert nights, but don't be a wallflower - seek out ways in which your school might need assistance. Can't make any of those events, despite Yoda's words? Send a note to the teacher stating your situation and asking to be "kept in the loop" about school events. If you have Internet access, give the teacher your email address - usually much faster and easier than a telephone call and accessible 24 hours a day.

"Ignorance is bliss" should not be your mantra when it concerns school personnel. Each person in a school, just as in any organization, serves specific purposes and handles certain areas of the daily functioning of a school. Find out who to talk to about lunch issues, curriculum issues, discipline issues, guidance issues and the like. Check out the school and/or district website - it contains a lot of information about school/district staff as well as programs. Although the principal does oversee the daily operation of the school, specifics are usually handled by certain personnel. And take it from an expert, usually the school secretary is your best friend. Who else knows the ins and outs of what's going on at the school besides her/him?

"Union gives strength." Perhaps you can't make it to the back to school night. Or another parent is having trouble helping her child with homework. Form a classroom parent group in which parents can pool information they receive from the school and from the teacher. In this way, parents can help each other and keep each other up to date. In addition, you create a cohesive group that assists parents as well as students - let's face it, it's great to be familiar with the parents of other children in your child's class - makes playdates easier.

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Don't wait until a crisis occurs to visit the school. Usually, this is the worst time - you're upset, the staff member is concerned, your child may be upset. If you cultivate a good relationship with the school and its staff, work at home with your child and keep the lines of communication open, then these crises situations can often be avoided. However, if a crisis does occur, that established relationship will go a long way in easing the stress of the situation and in finding a solution.

Remember, no organization is perfect. You may not always get the results that you may be seeking all the time; but by asking questions and expecting answers, keeping the lines of communication between home and school open, exchanging information with other parents and making use of the various services offered by the school system, you can become an informed parent who is involved in your child's school life. Please don't sit back and expect the school personnel to come to you. Each teacher has at least 15-20 (depending on the size of the class, sometimes more) students to work with on a daily basis. S/he is only one person. You're helping three people when you reach out and stay in touch, you, your child and your teacher. Make the effort, it's truly worth it.

You are your child's first teacher. Your attitude regarding the value of education is infectious - children learn what they see and experience. Show your child(ren) that you value education and they will more than likely follow your lead.