Are you parenting a teen or tween? Not sure what to do? I'm not going to tell you how to parent your kid. They vary even more drastically from each other than toddlers do. But I can tell you how I'm parenting mine. And it definitely does NOT involve hiding my head in the sand.
When your kids hit the teens, the issues are more complicated than they once were. Trusting their judgment, giving them safe boundaries, letting them make mistakes, coping with their choice of friends, preventing drug abuse and eating disorders...the list goes on and on.
Parents today have many more questions than answers. Busy families end up reacting to their children in the same way that they were reacted to as children. But is this good? Probably not. This is a different generation of kids.
Sound advice abounds in magazines for parents of young children, but once we're busy with a complete family, we don't read, and the industry responds--they don't publish much for parenting the older child.
As if we somehow have it figured out by then! More than ever, when our kids are nearing or in the teen years, we could use a little help. We can share with each other what's worked for us and what hasn't.
That's what writers and authors do. They simply share what they know and have learned from experience.
I'm a freelance writer myself, as well as a licensed teacher, trained crisis counselor, and most important, mom to two teens and two tweens, I've been published in magazines for parents, including Parenting magazine, and have written some original material for the web.
But what matters most for my kids is that I'm a highly motivated mom. I've done some reading, and continue to do so. I talk to my kids. I investigate and snoop.
Below you'll find some helpful books, articles, and web sites. This time in our children's lives is too important to skate over. They need us to be in the details. One way to do so, in addition to talking to our kids, is to read.
Have a moody tween or teen? Who doesn't? See the July 2006 issue of Parenting Magazine for my latest article about tweens. Sign up for my free Yahoo! Teens and Tweens message board today.
About Linda Moran
Freelance writer
Linda Moran helps folks with parenting issues. She has been published in Parenting magazine, Exceptional Parent, the award-winning Parent Paper, and a variety of national disability newsletters.Moran owns and moderates a
Yahoo! message board for parents of tweens and teens.
In addition, Moran has led workshops for families of disbled children. See her web site for more information: Linda Moran's web site
Linda Moran's newest article in Parenting Magazine
He stomps off to his room and slams the door. You don't know what's wrong.If your teen or tween is moody, that's a pretty common occurence, but ignoring it isn't always the answer.
Pick up the July 2006 issue of Parenting Magazine and learn what to do.
You'll find Moran's article in the Ages & Stages section.
Articles and web sites about kids and computers
Trusted experts say that diaries are private (except in emergencies), but computers are public domain and should be inspected regularly. Reading chats and viewing which web sites our kids have visited are good ways to tap into what they're thinking and doing. This habit could prove life-saving down the road!
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- Contract for kids
- Print one contract for each of your kids. Discuss and ask them to sign it. Explain the seriousness of signing a contract.
- Contract for parents
- Print this contract, and sign it in the presence of your kids!
- Find web sites your child has visited
- Find out how to use browser history to find out exactly what sites your child has visited.
- Install filtering software
- I'm not as big on filtering as I am on snooping. But it depends on the kids, and there is a place for some filtering. Learn about some filtering software for your child's computer. But don't buy or download anything until you've checked out Google Desktop (see below).
- Install monitoring software
- How to select software that will monitor your child's computer activities. However, if you're looking for a way to monitor your child's chats, or find out where he's been, see below for the easiest, cheapest, and most powerful way.
- Keep your kids safe when using myspace.com
- About.com's guide Marcy Zitz wrote a page about the popular website myspace.com. Similar web sites go by the names bebo.com,
facebook.com, and friendster.com - Netsmartz Workshop
- Communication is an effective tool for parents and guardians when helping their children avoid the dangers that exist on the Internet. NetSmartz provides on- and offline learning activities for parents to facilitate discussions with their children and teens about Internet safety. Visit "Parents FAQ" to learn more about how and why parents should use NetSmartz.
- Parents rules about computers--by Linda Moran
- Why parents vary so widely in their rules about computer use, and some thoughts from Moran about how we can all be somewhere on the learning continuum.
- Respect other parents' styles--by Linda Moran
- It's not enough to enforce rules about the computer. We need to recognize that our kids are social creatures, they have friends, those friends have computers, and parents with different rules. What to do.
- Snoop on your kid's computer
- About.com guide Marcy Zitz explains why and how to snoop on your kids' computer.
- Snoop on your kid's computer -- by Linda Moran
- Why it's okay to snoop on your kid's computer
- Use Google Desktop to snoop--by Linda Moran
- Google Desktop is a powerful tool to track your child's entire visiting history--not just to web sites but to files on his computer that he may have downloaded or received by attachment. It can even find all your kid's chats. And it's free.
- WiredSafety--Teens and Tweens
- WiredSafety is the world's largest online safety and help group. All-inclusive, free resource focusing on Internet safety, help and education for Internet users of all ages; providing information and solutions to online safety issues such as identity theft, scams, fraud, child pornography, cyberstalking, cyberbullying, hacking, phishing, spyware and viruses.
- WiredSafety--Parents
- Information for parents from WiredSafety.
- Computers and kids blog
- Linda Moran's blog about computers and our kids
Parental control software on Amazon
Cyber Snoop 3.0
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Used Price: $50.00
![Norton Internet Security 2006 [OLD VERSION]](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51H0YZD6XTL._SL75_.jpg)
Norton Internet Security 2006 [OLD VERSION]
Release Date: 10/17/2005
Amazon Price: (as of 10/13/2008)
List Price: $69.99
Used Price: $3.88
ChatBlocker - Instant Message Blocking & Restriction
Amazon Price: (as of 10/13/2008)
List Price: $49.99
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Net Nanny Ad-Free
Release Date: 06/20/2003
Amazon Price: (as of 10/13/2008)
List Price: $29.99
Used Price: $6.00
Parental Control Suite - Parental Control Software
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List Price: $89.99
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Other articles and web sites about teens
- MESSAGE BOARD Parenting Teens and Tweens
- The Teens and Tweens message board This is a free Yahoo! group. Discuss and brainstorm with other parents in a safe environment.
---------------------------------------------- - Active listening
- A way to approach your conversations with your teen so they keep talking to you
- Adolescent Substance Abuse Knowledge Base
- Adolescent substance abuse help and information for parents of teens with drug or alcohol problems, addiction, and alcoholism.
- Afraid of the Stranger
- Op-ed by Yvona Fast. Do we overdo "fear of strangers"? We need to teach our kids to think instead.
- Attitudes about eating--by Linda Moran
- Chapter adapted from the book "How to Survive Your Diet." Describes how emotionally healthy families approach eating.
- Brain studies
- A summary of what we can learn about adolescents from recent brain research
- Bullying (for kids to read)
- Helpful information about bullying from the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center
- Bullying (for parents to read)
- What parents can do about bullying, offered by the National Education Association.
- Dear Mom and Dad
- Letter from a teen that will help you get a perspective on grades
- Get involved in their lives
- Excerpt from Dr. Ruth Peters' book, "Laying Down the Law." How involved parenting is different from strict parenting, authoritative parenting, and autocratic parenting.
- News article about SAC counselors
- New Jersey has a specialized counselor for kids--it's called a SAC counselor.
- Newsweek Anorexia in nine-year-olds
- New evidence of increasingly younger anorexics and why parents are not at fault.
- Outing My Kids--by Linda Moran
- All kids have something about them that could potentially isolate them from others, if not handled right. This essay published in Exceptional Parent magazine in 2004 sheds light on the value of "outing" oneself in order to better integrate.
- Peer pressure isn't what you think
- Andy Yeager is a SAC counselor in Park Ridge, New Jersey. New Jersey offers a unique kind of "guidance counselor" whose focus is on teen troubles, not preparation for college. These SAC counselors are a wealth of information.
Andy Yeager believes that peer pressure isn't taught about properly in schools. Find out what this expert has to say about peer pressure. - P.E. homework? Not!
- Position paper written by Linda Moran when the physical education teacher in her children's elementary school started sending home PE homework.
- Teens' personal soap operas
- Why teens' lives seem so dramatic
- The Primal Teen
- This link will take you to the Readers Guide of the book, "The Primal Teen." Then you'll also see links to Chapters 1 and 2 in their entirety. Publishers and authors sometimes publish parts of their book as a means of advertising.
- Hip Mom and Trendy Tweens
- Jenn Satterwhite's mommy blog. She's about to publish her first book.
- Help with High School
- This retired teacher has a site with helpful advice about helping your teen through high school. Also here is her blog Linda Hinkle's blog
- Middle School Tools and Resources
- Starting as tweens and leaving as teens, middle schoolers and their parents face a world of continued change as they leave elementary school and embark on the journey towards high school. Making a successful transition into middle school requires ongoing communication between parents, teachers, coac
- Stop Cyberbullying
- Lawyer Parry Aftab's very accessible site about cyberbullying and netiquette.
Parry Aftab was the creator of Teen Angels, an organization of teens educating teens about safe use of the internet.
This site has good content for kids and parents.
Books on Amazon.com
Books carefully chosen by Linda Moran and that come highly recommend from trusted advisors
Hot Stuff to Help Kids Cheer Up
Practical advice based on proven techniques that will really reach kids (ages nine to twelve).
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Amazon Price: $9.95 (as of 10/13/2008)
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The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College
Handy guide to every college concern imaginable. Great index.
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Amazon Price: $12.66 (as of 10/13/2008)
List Price: $14.95
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More Than Moody : Recognizing and Treating Adolescent Depression
True anecdoates and practical recommendations to combat teenage depression.
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Promise You Won't Freak Out: A Teenager Tells Her Mom the Truth About Boys, Booze, Body Piercing and Other..
The best guide available today to help you help your teen really grow up (not for the faint of heart). This is Linda Moran's bible for parenting teens.
Release Date: 05/04/2004
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Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated
A description of how teens think that lets you make your own decisions about how to parent.
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Amazon Price: $11.20 (as of 10/13/2008)
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More information from Linda Moran
- Teens and tweens blog
- Blogs are a more informal way to share one's thoughts and experiences. Read Linda Moran's blog about parenting teens and tweens.
You can even subscribe, and receive a new entry in your email every time one becomes available. - Teens and tweens message board
- Check out this Yahoo! group today. Become a member and be a part of the conversation. Owned and moderated by Linda Moran.
- Gifted and Talented Education in New Jersey -- Lens
- Linda Moran wanted to know why there was no Gifted and Talented program in her school district, even though New Jersey has a law mandating Gifted and Talented Education.
Find out how she researched it, and the surprising answer.
Sites where our kids find people--friendly or otherwise
These sites are prone to stranger danger.
These are sites where your kids may have registered their names and pictures.If your child is on one of these sites, it is recommended that they use fictitious names, and no pictures.
Be sure that others have limited access to your child's page, and that one person who does have access to your child's page is YOU.
Your access to your child's page should be a condition of being allowed to use this site.
These sites have brought stranger danger into the lives of tweens and teens. Check them out for yourself. And beware.
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Teens and Tweens blog
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