It's All Parents Fault?!?
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HERE'S WHAT I THINK
Raising A Brat Today, A Social Nightmare Tomorrow?
With so many bad news concerning kids shootouts at schoolyards, bullying, fights, etc., but also issues regarding discipline, disrespect and contempt towards other people, isn't it about time that we point to those responsible the most: PARENTS!!!
I've observed parents being kicked, punched, screamed at, called names and talked to with disrespect, and whined half to death by their bratty, spoiled monsters - It's time to say to parents: GET ATTITUDE! SAY NO AND MEAN IT!
TELL IT LIKE IT IS!
Are parents today spineless weenies, raising a generation of selfish spoiled brats?
Fetching blurbs now... please stand byYes, you're right!
AmandaBB says:
More and more are.
I'm 27 and when I look back at when I was a kid, the kids in that generation were so much better behaved then 80% of the kids I see nowadays.
Posted March 03, 2009
Margo_Arrowsmith says:
Well, I would say both. They let the kids get away with too much, but they are also too nervous and think they have to be perfect!
Posted November 12, 2008
ElizabethJeanAllen says:
I see it in school all the time. The kids are not held accountable for anything and that stems from the parents. By the time they're 12, the parents have lost control.
Posted November 01, 2008
Ezmerelda says:
I think it's fair to say SOME are, yes. A lot of them feel guilty for working too much, so they try to compensate by giving their children things, instead of time. And a lot of parents just find it impossible to believe that their children could be any less than perfect.
Posted October 31, 2008
naturegirl7 says:
As a teacher for 25 years, I saw first hand the change in parents and parenting skills. In the early years, most parents stood behind a teacher's recommendations and most attempted to discipline their children. Towards the end of the 25 years, many parents were so permissive and gave their children money and material things rather than quality time and limits. To make things worse, some would undermine any attempt at discipline from the school.
Posted October 30, 2008
dc64 says:
I think the parents should take some of the blame, however; once a child hits about 25, they should be taking responsibility for their own actions instead of laying blame on the parents.
Posted October 30, 2008
poddys says:
I think that society and the media have a lot to answer for, but ultimately it's the parents who are responsible for bringing their children up correctly.
To an extent I also blame the lack of religion in schools. Not so much the religious side, but the teaching of morals and the way to treat each other. Seems kids don't understand how to be nice and kind these days.
Posted October 27, 2008
Miss_Dacapo says:
You're right! If I did or said half the stuff kids get away with today when I was little, I'd get a good slap on the mouth! Parents don't teach kids to respect others, or to obey rules - it's all about the kids, and about what the kids want, and giving in when they start throwing temper tantrums!
Posted October 27, 2008
Miss_Dacapo says:
Oh yes they are! If a kid wants something, they give it to him because they didn't have all that when they were little. No spanking for Little Brattleigh, no telling him 'no' because it'll hurt his feewings, because that's 'child abuse.'
Parents need to teach their kids right from wrong, and to respect others.
Posted October 27, 2008
Michael says:
Yes and No. The No first. As a parent coach and therapist, I know that kids come in different flavors. They have different temperaments form birth, and some kids are absolutely more difficult than others. This isn't the parent's fault. But it can sure look like it, and it can provoke some poor parenting behaviors.
The Yes part is that parents can do something about this. It takes an investment into learning some skills that some other parents may be able to get by without. Energy will be invested. It can be on the early end investing in learning some skills that will make it so you can cope with difficult behaviors; or it can be on the other end as your child's behavior continues to worsen, as it will until you learn to set and enforce reasonable limits in loving ways.
Parenting skills can make life more rewarding for any family, but it is more crucial for parents that have difficult child.
Posted September 16, 2008
No way, Monkeybrain!
Treasures-By-Brenda says:
There are a lot of great parents out there along with those that are not great AND a lot of wonderful children who are not selfish spoiled brats.
Parenting is a tough job...it would be helpful if we had a 'village' to support new parents and families. Parenthood is one of the toughest jobs you can do and you receive almost no training!
Brenda
Posted October 26, 2008
Music-Resource says:
No. Firm, yet fair and reasonable boundaries help but parents of today can't be blamed as a whole. It's more of a society thing with the worsening influences on TV and the increasing instant gratification attitude in the air.
Posted October 25, 2008
lakeerieartists says:
Some are but not all. Probably no different than any other era.
Posted September 12, 2008
saraht43 says:
Some may be, but I think a lot are afraid if they discipline their children someone (maybe even the kids themselves) will turn them in to the law. And I'm sorry but I don't think a swat on the behind is going to ruin them emotionally for the rest of their lives and I don't mean BEAT them to death. But kids know when your afraid to discipline them and they will take advantage of the fact.
Posted September 12, 2008
LucyVet says:
I don't think they all are, though some of course are, and it seems like more today than previously. However, parents are not wholly responsible for how their child behaves, especially as they get older - schools also have a role in teaching behavior.
Posted September 12, 2008
says:
The parent's aren't always to blame. It takes a whole society to raise (and mold) a child. I can't answer your question because your question doesn't allow for exceptions to the rule (and there are many exceptions to the rule)...so I'll say "no" for now, for the sake of those parents out there who do still maintain reasonable control.
Posted August 31, 2008
niicki says:
No, not entirely. I think society has made many parents afraid to Parent due to threats from Children's Services to take away kids because of something like spanking. Since that's how many current parents were raised, they aren't properly equipped to effectively Parent in what is a current, socially acceptable way.
I don't think we're spineless weenies - I think many of us are afraid of having our kids taken away from us.
Posted August 12, 2008
The_Homeopath says:
I'm on the fence about this due to the wording. I don't think today's children are any more or less misbehaved than they have ever really been. You can look back in time and see the same arguments about naughty kids over and over again. I think, more than misbehavior, our biggest fault in child-rearing today is making them lazy and inactive.
Posted August 11, 2008
LindaJM says:
A lot depends on the child's inclinations. Sometimes parents will raise several well-behaved children and one that is wild and intractable. Blaming the parents only sets up bad feelings - totally unnecessary. Parenting is a difficult job already; no criticisms are needed as most parents are already well aware of each child's good qualities and faults.
I see you're recommending Linda Popov's 'Family Virtues Guide'. I used the book with my two youngest children, and attended one of her virtues workshops about ten years ago. I believe virtues are learned best when demonstrated in action by the parents and others the children have contact with, but it doesn't hurt to talk about virtues too... it gets people thinking about the best ways to act.
Posted August 08, 2008
The Family Virtues Guide: Simple Ways to Bring Out the Best in Our Children and Ourselves
The Family Virtues Guide: Simple Ways to Bring Out the Best in Our Children and Ourselves
Amazon Price: $12.24 (as of 07/13/2009)
When you witness a small child haul off and smack another child unprovoked, the theory of innate morality seems to lose all validity. Moral education has always been the domain of religion, and Linda Kavelin Popov has culled 52 universal virtues from the world's religions, one for each week of the year. The resulting Family Values Guide is a workbook for the moral education of children that transcends differences of religion or culture.
Parents are not kids' friends?!?
Many parents treat their kids more as friends than as parents who are responsible for raising a young person into a responsible, law-abiding, positive contributor to society. You are not there to be your child's giggle buddy.That means sometimes you are going to have to make decisions that your child won't like. You'll have to say "no!" to things that your child wants to do. You will have to say "no!" when your child wants to go places you don't approve of, wear clothes you don't approve of, or date people you don't approve of. You have to be the parent, and that means your word is law. Establish yourself as the authority in the household.
Be a parent your child respects, and raise your child to get along in the world.
'NO' with Attitude
Parents that say "no!" then give in after the child whines and wheedles teach that your word means nothing and that with the slightest pressure, you will bend to your child's will. Giving into your spoiled child's demands, allowing yourself to be manipulated with tears, threats to run away, harsh words ("I hate you!") or other negative behavior means you are a weenie. It also means you need to grow a spine and get in the habit of telling your brat "no!"Pleading for compliance, using bribes, negotiating, saying "please" repeatedly, or refusing to ever set limits for your child is not parenting, it's begging for cooperation from a mini-terrorist! Stand up for yourself and say "no!" and "stop!"
Are you able to say NO! to your kids?
Raising a responsible child
Give your child goals to accomplish and daily chores from a very young age so they learn responsibility and feel like they are contributing to your home environment. They will also learn to reach for the stars and roll with the punches if they fall a little short, while you are there to guide them back to the right path.Establish behavioral limits, household rules and boundaries, and then stick to them without bending an inch. Make sure your children know what you expect from them, and that you make the final decisions about what goes on under your roof. Boundaries help children feel safe, because they know what to expect, what you expect of them, and what their limits are.
And if your child breaks rules or violates boundaries, drop the hamma' with a serious punishment. Do not be lenient or give in when the kids fuss about it or whine about how their friends can go/do it/wear it or how it's not fair. Stand firm Mom and Dad! Do not negotiate or compromise a settlement either.
Start saying "NO!" to your children, and stand by your decisions. Demand that they treat you and others with respect.
Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids: 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict into Cooperation
Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids: 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict into Cooperation
Amazon Price: $10.85 (as of 07/13/2009)
More than a tool to correct bad behavior, this handbook urges parents to move beyond typical discipline techniques by creating an environment based on mutual respect, emotional safety, and positive, open communication. The seven outlined principles redefine the parent-dominated family by teaching parents how to achieve mutual parent/child respect without being submissive, set firm limits without using demands or coercion, and empower children to open up, cooperate, and realize their own innate potential.
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What do you REALLY think?
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Margo_Arrowsmith wrote...
I am a big believer in saying no and discipline. I also think that being too uptight isn't good for kids or parents. I speak to this ="http://www.squidoo.com/goodenoughparenting" Relax and Enjoy Your Kids
***** lens!
Posted November 12, 2008
OhMe wrote...
Very well done. I think a lot of times parents just take the easy road and for the sake of argument, they let the child do as they please. You have some very good information here and I enjoyed reading it.
Posted November 05, 2008
ElizabethJeanAllen wrote...
Interesting arguement. Where it stems from is not the issue, its how can we change it around? There are good kids and good parents out there, but the numbers are dwindling. Society needs to rethink its priorities.
Great lens
Lizzy
Posted November 01, 2008
Ezmerelda wrote...
The media cops so much blame for child obesity, self esteem issues, children behaving badly.. blah blah blah. It's great to see parents take responsibility for what their children are consuming!
Posted October 31, 2008
naturegirl7 wrote...
You go girl! I've seen it all. The media may have something to do with it, but who sat little Johnny and Jessica down in front of the TV to watch?
Posted October 30, 2008
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