Parties for kids with special needs

Even if your child is not very behavioral, a gathering like this may trigger behaviors in your child or one of the others. You can minimize the potential for danger by preparing your home. I start this part one week in advance to be sure that I have time to notice if I miss anything! Get a box or two. Remove anything that could cause problems (I have glass candle holders etc on shelves, ceramic and pebbles) be sure that there are no small rocks in potted plants (or just move the plant). If your home is looking overly sparse, you can find cheap unbreakable items to fill the gaps - I love the febreeze luminaries (square with paper shade that look like a flickering candle, still keep that high up though as it has corners).

Create a "safe zone". A small pile of pillows or bean bags, stuffed animals etc in a quiet corner. If you happen to have any therapy mats, you may wish to pad the wall around the pillows, you can stick them on with command strips!

Do you have weighted blankets? Set those out as well. If not, you can actually make them if you are any good at sewing- no need to spend a whole lot of money on them if you will not be using them often! I usually go to a dollar store and get a baby blanket that is at least two layers thick, an a few multipacks of panty hose. Fill the feet of the panty hose with rice and tie them. Cut a small hole in one end of the blanket and insert the rice filled panty hose! You may need to either put a few drops of fabric glue on the inserts or put a few stitches through to hold them in place. Sew up the blanket and you have a weighted blanket for under $10!

It is imperative that the kids be busy. They may not all be able to occupy themselves as children often do. Set up multiple stations in the home and if possible in a fenced yard. Try to keep some distance between stations to prevent sensory overload! If a group of kids are all at one station, it may get loud and one of the kids at a different station may be extremely bothered by it!

A large underbed storage box filled with beans is far more exciting than you would think! The sensory benefits provided by this are amazing! Be sure that an adult is monitoring the beans carefully as kids put beans in weird places! Allow the kids to find the activities that they like the best but have a few that are structured group activities such as a pinata (depending upon the kids it may need to be a pull string pinata).

Games that require taking turns may be fun, be prepared for a few cranky kids who do not understand why they must wait, have something readily available to occupy those children while they wait and prizes to reinforce good behaviors! Give out little good behavior prizes regularly to keep it a fun experience!

If you can find sponge balls, they are great, you may want to avoid badminton- the rackets tend to go flying! Volleyball with a softer ball is fun!

Keeping in mind that many kids with developmental disabilities have food allergies, sensitivities or special diets, it is a good idea to find out what those are when the parents RSVP. Have a list! Plan accordingly, if a child is unable to eat gluten, there are gluten free cakes, you may need to have two small or medium cakes to accommodate special diets. Organic food stores may have gluten free snack as well. When you find out about an allergy or special diet, you should research it a bit online to make the shopping easier. I am able to budget for it by reducing the "regular" foods to about 2/3 because often more than one kid do end up snacking on the special stuff anyway!

Choices are good, offer a variety of textures, temperatures etc. This way, the kids with oral aversions will be more likely to find something that they like!

Be aware that many special needs kids are at greater risk for choking, so it may be a good idea to skip foods that may be a problem. If you really want to have grapes or baby carrots or hot dogs, be sure that they are up on a counter and monitored by a responsible adult.

If I have a lot of kids coming with special dietary concerns, I make little name tags with codes on them. A child with a green name tag can have whatever they want, a child with a yellow tag (one or two restrictions or allergies) will have the food to avoid written in small letters under their name, a child with a red tag has serious dietary concerns and their parent needs to be responsible for getting their foods from the kitchen.

My favorite part of the whole thing! One month before his party, Cutie and I begin to papier mache life sized characters from whatever theme he is going with! We get to spend the time together and have a lot of fun and he gets to keep the characters! The kids are usually amazed and have fun with them, and they are very inexpensive! In fact last year, we did Monsters vs Aliens and spent $6 on flour, I had paint at home and neighbors gave us newspapers that they did not want! The frames were constructed from 2 inch strips of card board that I cut from diet coke boxes! Cutie still keeps Bob and Galaxar in his room!

This year, we are doing star wars! I will post pics when they are done!

I use streamers that match, and usually create at least one area with a lot of strips paper streamers all hanging down together for the kids to play in.

You may want to avoid balloons other than Mylar, popping can trigger problems as well as the choking hazard if any of the kids have a tendency to put things in their mouths.

Do you know what visual cues are? You may want to print out a few simple images to help the kids who may need it! simple little signs indicating that this room is the bathroom, reminders to flush, reminders to wash and dry.... you do NOT want to know why I recommend this! I use clear packing tape on the front and back of these to protect them as they are often small enough not to justify laminating and the tape protects them pretty well.

If the guest of honor has autism or any other disability that effects their receptive language skills, memory or understanding of accepted social behaviors, consider getting them some visual cues birthday cards to make things less stressful for them. These are very similar to standard visual cues (which most kids with special needs are somewhat familiar with if they attend a public school in the US) but they are decorated to be a bit more festive!

Visual Cues Card : Birthday by Sidther
custom printed invitations made on zazzle.com

Before the party, clean the bathroom, if you have access to organic soaps you should get at least one (although keep the anti bacterial one in the bathroom). Some kids have hypersensitivities to Triclosan, the active ingredient in most antibacterial soaps, you will definitely want to have the organic on hand just in case. You may wish to purchase a small pack of flushable wipes as well, just in case, if you don't use them for the party, they are often useful for other things!

If you can remove cleaning products from the bathroom, I reccommend doing so- the last thing you want is for a child to lock themselves in and get into toilet cleaner. Find the little object that pops locks on bathroom doors and keep it handy (kitchen drawer or on top of the bathroom door) sometimes they can lock it, but not unlock it!

Hopefully you will not need it, but it is a good idea to have a first aid kit in an area that is accessible. You can make a little first aid sign and post it near the kit! Kids with special needs are often difficult to assess, usually their parent is best suited to handle minor injuries as the child may become violent if treated by a stranger, find the parent immediately.

If the child needs an Ambulance, be sure that there is a responsible adult monitoring the front of the house (and making sure that access is not blocked) who can walk the medics over to the child quickly. Have another adult corral the other kids AWAY from the injured child and occupy them. The 911 operator will walk you through what to do, DO NOT hang up. Put them on speaker phone to keep your hands free if possible or have another adult talk to them and give you their directions. It is imperative that you focus, do not panic. The injured child's parent usually rides in the Ambulance too, so offer to visit or pick them up from the ER later.

It is important to note that it is not uncommon for the parent of a severely injured to panic and freeze. They may be able to stay calm and follow the directions, but if they can't it is not a reflection of their parenting. If they are frozen, see if someone can get some paper and a pen so that the parent can tell them the child's medical history, medications and allergies, they will have to repeat this many times, but it is a way that they can help if they are unable to provide the necessary first aid. Having them give the history is important for multiple reasons including ensuring appropriate treatment in the Ambulance and Hospital, keeping them focused and limiting the guilt that they may feel when the emergency is over. Of course someone else should take over the care at this point. When the Emergency is over, be sure to check on the child and parent.

With all of the scary stuff out of the way, I must tell you that I only ever responded to one birthday party and the injury was minor (they called to be careful, which is good). You will probably not have to deal with the stuff above, but for the one in a million chance you do, I hope that you are better prepared!

For more information about emergencies with children who have special needs click here.

If you have done all of your planning thoroughly, there should be nothing to stress about! If the kids have lots to do, they will have fun. If the kids are having fun, the parents have fun.... try to enjoy it !