The Ultimate Party Planning Guide

Before you open your mouth and start telling everybody, you must first consider who you'll be inviting to your party. This will help you plan everything else.

Your most important decision at this stage is whether to include family members on the guest list. For a 21st, the answer is a definite yes. 21st birthday parties are a once-in-a-lifetime celebration of your childhood and you should plan to make it as huge as possible. Be careful with ratios though - if you have a large extended family you might want to consider inviting only close relatives or similarly-aged cousins. Any party in which your family dominates your friends is headed for social disaster.

For an 18th party, definitely NO family should be invited. You've just reached legal drinking age, and chances are you and your friends are gearing up for a huge night of drunkenness and temporary insanity!

Family aside, you'll want to decide which friends and acquaintances you'd like to include. For intimate small-scale gatherings, try not to invite too many separate social groups. It's fine to introduce two or three new friends at these events, but don't go overboard or you'll have a difficult time preventing early exits.

For an all-out shindig, open up the guest list as much as possible. In my opinion there's nothing worse than turning up for a "big party" and finding the same old crowd. Don't hesitate to ask people you've only met fairly recently, such as workmates at casual jobs. Tell them to bring a couple of friends and chances are they'll jump at the chance to socialize outside of their usual circles. Not only will this improve your relationships with new friends/colleagues, it'll also give your existing friends a chance to pick up!

That reminds me of gender ratios - nobody wants to party at a sausage fest!

In deciding where to throw your party, keep in mind the time of the year and the suitability of different venues for your guest list. Outdoor parties held during late autumn, winter and early spring are complete stupidity. You may have a nice outdoor heater but people just won't turn up or will leave early if the temperature is too cold.

You have two main options:
- Pub / Function Room
- House / Backyard / Garage

Holding your party at a venue makes your job a whole lot easier. You won't need to worry so much about catering and cleaning and your guests can buy whatever obscure alcoholic drinks they fancy. Choose a centrally located place you (and a few of your guests) have been to and enjoyed in the past. Venues with a poor atmosphere and unfriendly staff will kill off the vibe of your party.

Most established bars offer separate function rooms that you can reserve for the night, but make sure you find one that doesn't charge a flat rental fee. Management knows they will rake in plenty of cash through the bar; you must show a willingness to find another venue for your 50-odd friends if they try to rip you off. Just remember to get in early, especially around the holiday season.

Another critical mistake is forgoing the function room and just holding your birthday drinks in the public bar. Without your own space you'll only end up stuck around a table or corner with little opportunity to move around. Your guests will stay in clumps until they get bored and leave (or approach others). Keep this in mind when choosing a function room - it should not be too cramped, or too spacious. Also choose one that contains a suitable number of chairs/couches and other features including pool tables and arcade games.

Keep in mind a few drawbacks regarding pubs and function rooms:
- You may have little control over the music
- There may not be an outdoor section
- The venue may close early
- Venues can be extremely smoky and noisy
- Not all of your guests will feel comfortable in a pub/nightclub environment
- Expensive for you and your guests
- The food may suck
- You will have to deal with gatecrashers - some cool, others not!

Whilst a pub or venue is the easy way out, I recommend holding your party at home for the best results. As the host and manager of the party premises, you are in complete control of the night's events. Many people feel more comfortable at house parties, and the cheaper supply of alcohol will flow much more freely.

You must decide whether you want to restrict your party to the back garden or garage. This is highly recommended if the temperature is mild and you have plenty of outdoor furniture and a spacious garden. People will behave a lot more subdued at indoor parties in fear of damaging the floor's surface or breaking something (which will eventually happen anyway). There is also only so much available standing room in most small living areas.

I recommend you leave the house open to guests but encourage them to stay in the kitchen or a back room that opens out to the backyard or garage. The oldies (if invited) can always keep each other company on the living room couches! Just make sure the music can be heard at a decent volume in all zones of the party. Facing your speakers out a back window usually works fine.

Unless you're sweltering through a steamy summer, find a 44 gallon drum or mini cauldron and place it slap bang in the centre of the party area. The crackle and flickering light of the fire will boost the party's atmosphere and people will be attracted like moths. Provide the right amount of seating - too little and it becomes frustrating, too much and people will stop mingling. If you find yourself short a nice big log or two will do the trick.

Keep in mind a few drawbacks regarding house parties:
- You might upset the neighbors with noise levels and general rowdiness
- Your house, backyard or garage may not be large enough or well suited to entertaining large groups of people.
- The alcohol or food may run out
- You'll have a huge clean-up ahead of you (including the toilet!)
- If your house/flat is not centrally located some people may have trouble finding their way over
- No access to security/bouncers, unless you hire them yourself.

I know the mature adult in you won't like to hear this, but most parties will live or die depending on the alcohol situation. Even subdued poker nights or dinner parties end up more successful over a few beers or glasses of wine. Never mind if you're a teetotaler or designated driver. It's your job as house party host to provide enough alcohol to satisfy your guests.

You must provide at least a few slabs of full strength beer and a slab of light or low-carb beer. Kegs are also an interesting option (for novelty appeal), but be careful with wastage as most people lack the skill to pour their own. Once again these considerations depend on the number (and behavior) of people you're inviting, but make sure the amber liquid is a basic popular brand. Eg. VB or Carlton Draught. Beer snobs and spirits junkies will bring their own and nobody will think any less of you for providing non-premium beer. Don't forget the few bottles of basic red wine, and a bottle or two of white wine or champagne.

The final addition to your party's showcase of grog is a VERY large bowl of alcoholic fruit punch or sangria. This will get people raving about your beverage mixing prowess and into a festive (tipsy) mood in no time at all! Punch is such an excellent alternative to typically bloating beer and champagne on offer, for both guys and girls.

Buy cans of Coke and lemonade for spirit drinkers and designated drivers. They last longer than bottles and the people who drink them can be sure they aren't spiked and/or contaminated (with somebody's germy lips!). All beverages should be placed in a central, highly visible area and be well iced. Make sure it lasts until at least 1am.

At a house party it is also your job to protect other people's booze. Some will make this easy by clutching onto their bottle of vodka as if it was their own baby. For others provide a separate out-of-the-way location (such as the bathtub or laundry trough) and plaster the area with imaginative warning signs. "Other people's booze - nobody likes an alcohol thief!"

Keep in mind, most people will usually only steal booze for one of two reasons - they couldn't find the free stuff, or they thought the premium beer was provided on the house. Don't get carried away and become a Beer Nazi though - there's only so much you can do without spoiling your party.

If you're feeling generous at pubs and venues, set up a limited bar tab for beer, wine and soft drink only. Do not under any circumstances tell anyone when the free alcohol ends. The last time I let slip about the midnight cut-off, a few jokers thought it would be funny to order a few jugs each with five minutes to spare. Admittedly this got the party rocking, but my bank balance was not happy!

For some, a party will be judged on the quality of the food. The biggest mistake you can make here is serving up platters of el cheapo party pies, sausage rolls and cocktail frankfurts. Mini oven pizzas and potato gems are a step above but nothing that will get circles of people buzzing with anticipation when the platter comes around.

The key is to make it memorable and to provide enough so that nobody goes hungry. Holding a BBQ is far and away the best catering idea for a birthday. Even better, a spit roast (if you have deep pockets). The smells alone will get mouths watering and once everything is cooked, your job is basically done. Standing amongst your guests with a pair of tongs and a drink is also a lot more sociable than being stuck in the kitchen.

Basic snags are cheap, filling and popular and most supermarkets these days stock all kinds of suitable meat such as marinated chicken wings, gourmet sausages, burger patties and lamb chops. Seafood will be a popular addition to the menu and remember to cook up a few vegetable patties for the vegos. Complement the meal with an oversupply of bread and sauce, and a few bowls of simple green salad and potato/pasta salad.

If you insist on taking the finger food on platters option (or the party is at a venue), that's fine also, but remember to serve a few extra fancy finger food items such as sushi hand rolls and mini quiches. Avoid boring sandwiches but don't pretend to be a gourmet chef by serving unpronounceable dishes and other nasty sounding items like liver pate. Keep the food simple (but not too simple), varied and above all tasty! If you're a bad cook, or lack an army of family members to help slave away in kitchen, it may be worth hiring a decent caterer.

Keep in mind that if people start to get hungry later in the night, having a few pizzas delivered from Dominos or Pizza Hut would be a wise move.

Don't forget to overstock on basic snacks such as corn chips with dip (from your local deli), potato chips, BBQ shapes and my personal favourite, an enormous bowl of lollies. To invoke some happy childhood memories, make a big plate of fairy bread (sprinkles on buttered bread)! You'll be surprised at how quickly it will disappear. Don't waste all the snacks and nibbles at the beginning of the night though - save some for the post 2am wind-down.

Now that the major considerations are out of the way, go out and spread the word about your party at least 3 to 4 weeks in advance (more time recommended for 21st or fancy dress parties).

For 21st birthdays you'll definitely want to take the fancy printed invitation route. Get creative and come up with a unique design or layout so people will remember it. My 21st birthday invitation was a mock newspaper article. Other nice ideas I've seen are mock sports cards, mock IDs and even a laminated card attached to a keychain! Party Invitations have a great collection of concert ticket inspired designs that are well worth a look.

For most smaller-scale or casual birthday parties though, simpler emails or SMS will do just fine and cost you a lot less. Noodle Invitations is a nifty site that lets you send free personalized party invitations via SMS and receive replies online. It's a great tool for managing large guest lists as you can easily schedule attendance notifications and send reminder text messages to invitees as the party date approaches.

Make sure you give an RSVP number however you send your invitations but keep in mind many people won't reply. Rude I know, but don't get discouraged if only half RSVP! You can always invite more people closer to the actual date if you're worried about numbers.

Include a street directory reference to your house (or venue) and starting time. If you friends are the "fashionably late" type, encourage them to arrive on time with promises of food - Eg. "Arrive 8pm sharp for BBQ". And whilst you'll be certain to overstock with drinks, it is a necessity to include the magic words "BYO alcohol" on your invitation. Unless of course the party is at a pub/club, without this message people will assume you'll be offering much more quantity/variety than you actually are.

Many people write "no presents please" on their invitations. Do NOT fall into this trap. Saying this is just plain awkward - it implies you are expecting presents but feel guilty accepting them. Even worse, some people will bring you presents regardless of the warning and make others feel bad for not doing likewise. It's completely up to your guests to decide whether you deserve a gift so just don't mention it.

Music can be extremely powerful. People associate certain songs with the emotions they were feeling at certain moments of their lives. Particularly impressive playlists and soundtracks can also invoke new positive emotions in your guests.

The mistake that many people make is filling their playlist with disposable and overplayed pop tunes. Hired DJs are especially notorious for spinning around Top 40 tracks that are currently all over the radio, and sometimes repeating tracks they played earlier in the evening. Don't waste your money on a techno-loving DJ - you could easily do a better job of it yourself at a fraction of the cost. A cover band is a better idea, but make sure they play a mixture of pop, rock and 80's and your CD soundtrack for the breaks doesn't include any repeats.

The key to a memorable soundtrack is a mixture of songs from different genres, with a few hidden gems that nobody has heard for a few years. Focus your playlist around rock and pop (depending on you and your friends' tastes), with the odd jazz/ska/r'n'b/punk tune. Avoid rap, heavy metal or trance/techno like the plague, unless your friends are ravers, metalheads or Eminem wannabees. The odd current Top 40 hit won't go astray, but don't go overboard. That's what the radio is for!

To make your party soundtrack a great one, throw in a few "danceable" or head turning favourites from the nineties and early 2000s, at least once every 5 or 6 tracks. Some notable suggestions include:
- Are You Gonna Be My Girl - Jet
- The Bad Touch - The Bloodhound Gang
- Cosmic Girl - Jamiroquai
- Just a Girl - No Doubt
- Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
- You Oughtta Know - Alanis Morrisette
- All That She Wants - Ace of Base
- Longview - Green Day
- Back in Black - AC/DC

Take requests from your guests beforehand and make sure you include those songs at the most suitable times. Another great idea is to throw in the odd favourite of your most outgoing friends. Last time I did this, a mate of mine broke off his conservation with a cheer and danced in the centre of the room like a happy drunken loon. Others followed and the party only got better from that point on!

Keep the music at a reasonable volume throughout the night to encourage conversation, but at the right time (after speeches or around 11pm) you'll need to take it to the next level. At this stage of the night, people are drunk enough to started dancing, others are bored with eating and talking, and some are even thinking about heading home.

It's now time to jack up the volume and launch into your hand-picked 80s mix. Include plenty of dance tracks, crowd favourites and cool retro songs such as:
- Love Shack - B52s
- Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
- Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes
- Ghostbusters Theme
- Down Under - Men at Work
- Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield
- 500 Miles (I'm Gonna Be) - The Proclaimers
- Tainted Love - J Geils Band
- Living on a Prayer - Bon Jovi
- 99 Red Balloons - Nena
- Go search some eighties playlists for some inspiration!

Keep this up for about an hour or until you start to notice people losing interest in dancing. Then revert back to the original music selection and lower the volume a touch. Around 1pm onwards (or 2am depending on how good the party is going), you'll want to start slowing things down with some popular slow rock tracks. I've always associated a good time at parties with chilling around a fire at the end of the night listening to laid-back rock. Suggestions include:
- Radiohead
- Oasis
- Coldplay
- Blur
- Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under the Bridge
- U2
- Guns and Roses - November Rain

Create and test your mix CDs (or MP3 playlist) well in advance and make sure you have the order settled. Be careful not to waste too many of your standout songs in the first couple of hours of the party. And most importantly, YOU are the master of the CD/MP3 player. Don't let anybody else meddle around with it or your entire plan will go pear-shaped.

Nintendo - For an indoor party, set up an old Nintendo Entertainment System with a fun game like Super Mario Brothers. Your guests can walk over, play a few levels and meet some others at the same time. These old consoles are inexpensive and can be found at local markets.

Darts - Hang a dart board in your garage and in no time at all you'll find a queue of several people taking it in turns to hit the bullseye. This is great idea for the novelty appeal and for keeping competitive people entertained. Just remember to safely face the board against a wall and be careful when drunks are involved!

Drinking games - Keep a deck or two of cards handy and suggest a drinking game once the party has quietened down a little. Most will be quite tipsy by this stage so it won't be long before something entertaining happens!

Kiddie Pool - Here's a sweet idea for summer. Nothing gets a party going like a bit of skin on display!

The big day has finally arrived! Resist the temptation to leave the final preparations to the last minute and get changed into your party outfit as soon as possible. Organise the following:

- Hang up a few lights but don't let the place look like a circus.
- Make sure the food and drink arrangements are under control.
- If your toilet has no lock, place a sign on the inside of the door saying "Please leave door open when finished" and a sign on the outside of the saying, "No lock, please KNOCK!" And I don't care if you're not a fan of air freshener - have a can or two next to the bowl as someone might have a smelly reaction to those curried sausages you served!
- Set up chairs outside (or on the balcony) and erect an outdoor shelter or pergola if you have one.
- Place your outdoor bin in an obvious location. People will only dump their rubbish if they don't know where to put it.
- On a weekend evening, there will almost always be sport on TV. Mute the volume and leave the sport on - it will give some of your sport loving guests a chance to meet and chat to others who are interested.
- Setup some mattresses or lilos in a spare room for people who can't handle their alcohol. Leave a bucket or two handy!
- If your party involves speeches, make sure you have a microphone and mini PA. Unheard speeches are disastrous.

Don't be concerned if only two friends have arrived at the starting time and are standing around awkwardly. Put them to good use by having them help out. Soon the doors will be swinging and you'll be completely occupied with greeting people. Be aware of the following:

- Open presents as soon as you receive them. People want to see your reaction to their amazing (or useless) gift - it's an insult to put it aside for later.
- Get the BBQ started or finger food served as soon as at least half your guests have turned up - there is nothing worse than sitting around for hours drinking on an empty stomach.
- Keep a close eye on the stocks and popularity of your alcohol.
- Keep a close eye on the "vibe" of the party and take action (Eg. Is the music loud enough? Are there enough chairs in this particular area? Are the food platters getting to that circle out the back?)
- Work the room/backyard and talk to all your guests, especially those who don't know as many people.
- Make it a goal to introduce as many people as possible and start up the conversation (Don't just say, "Bob, meet Sue, Sue meet Bob, I'll be over there.")
- Attend to the drunken people as soon as they start to look a little green!
- Have fun!

Chances are the time has flown by and everyone has had a gay old time at your party! Sometimes the best period of a party is when most have left and the atmosphere becomes very relaxed and chilled. Remember the following:

- Don't try to send anyone home - you should be prepared for a big night. Those who stay late will most likely be crashing at your place anyway.
- See off your guests when they leave, but try to prevent those under the influence from driving.
- Salvage any edible, untouched food for tomorrow's leftovers.
- Clean up! And get the people who crashed in the living room to help you.
- Reflect on all the fantastic presents you received!
- Personally thank the people who attended the next time you see or contact them.
- Start planning your next shindig!

I'm sure you guys have some other great party suggestions. Let everyone know in the comments!