People's Views On You

Ever heard of the saying "Do I look fat" or anything related?. I'm sure I have, tons of times. It's all in the eyes of the beholder. Was your response always "You look fine the way you are" or something similar and the other person still don't believe you?

I came across that so many times it's like a routine for me. People are people. I have my own unique perspectives like everyone else. One might find adding ketchup to egg sandwiches are repulsive but I find it quite tasty. I got to say that I'm more of like a silent observer kind. I actually don't see the ways people do and I wouldn't say that it's a disadvantage, I'm pretty proud of that.

There are so many people out there just trying to judge themselves. I just want to set a few things straight and right. Not everything is the way it seems to be and that's absolutely true. It's like a treasure chest where new findings just happens here and there.

I'm sure everyone knows the Barbie Doll. Did you know that only 1 out of 200,000 people has the Barbie doll figure? (Note: it may be between 200-500 thousand) I don't remember the actual number but I do remember it's 1 out of many. I have seen so many women out there trying to be "perfect". I guess the saying "You're perfect the way you are" is long crumbled up, thrown in the ocean, got eaten by some mammal, digested.

Traditionally, that saying does not work so I reinvented this one. "Look in the mirror and love yourself!" Well...maybe not actually screaming at them but it gets the point across. It has been a controversy that the Barbie Doll has influenced many want-to-be-barbies. I'm not saying it hasn't, I'm not saying it did, all I will say is that have we fallen to the point where we look up to a non-living doll as a role model?

Ask yourself this: "Does perfection override who I am?" Then you can answer it because neither me nor anyone else will know. Oh and by the way, there's Barbie but what about Ken? Where did he go in the picture? That just keeps me wondering.

Like the flu, the perfect-phobic syndrome is contagious. Need me to say more? How about the media such as Gossip Girl or 90210. Magazines such as Glamour or Allure. Commercials for beauty products hosted by pretty models in pretty clothes. Contagious and influential? It seems so to me.

It's like the Contagion Theory where "crowds exert a hypnotic influence over their members through collective suggestibility." A better explanation is that the message that's given to everyone else is "Ooooh look at thaaaat, you want to beeeee jussst like themmm." Like I mentioned, not everything is the way it seems to be.

Now you may ask, since it's flu-like, the cure. Unfortunately it's like the cure for cancer, the perfect-phobic syndrome has no cure and most likely won't be discovered any day soon. Ever heard of fight fire with fire? Well, don't try that. It'll just make it worse. Perfect-phobic + extra-perfect-phobic = worse. There is something that helps but not cure it completely. It will require EXTREME patience if you're the one trying to help a fellow perfect-phobic friend out. It's not guarantee to bring forth success but hey, you can say you tried.

The cure is simple: Have them look in the mirror and tell them to love themselves. Now i know what you're wondering, what's with all the mirror talk. Well mirrors, like eyes, are the passage way to your inner self. This is easier said than done and remember if you do try it: you're not trying to brainwash your friend.

I wouldn't say that I never fell under the perfect-phobic syndrome. Somehow I miraculously went through recovery as soon as I realized. It all happened one day when I was trying to find that "perfect" outfit to wear but when I looked in the mirror something stopped me. And that something was the real me. It said to me "what are you doing? This isn't You." That's when I realized what I had been searching for. Before that I always felt that something was just not right but couldn't really figure out what it is. I agreed with that inner voice. Something interesting was that I thought I would never fall into the "fakeness".

I guess once you're in it you just can't realize that until an inner voice tells you. I didn't realize it for a couple of years. Now I'm me again and everything feels right. I don't have that uneasy feeling anymore. I am a Individual.

To everyone whose inner voice has not awaken yet, look in the mirror (yea mirrors are still being mentioned) and see if there's this sense of something's not right feeling. If you do sense that, don't disregard it but find the reason. Listen to your inner voice. Just take your time and listen.

You see how this does not work out as effectively as "Me, Myself, and I". Let me explain this so you'll see why I brought it up. See how you is in second person? And you know what, You are the first person and deserve to be first. That's why "Me, Myself, and I" works out. Would you like yourself to be ranked second? I wouldn't think so.

Somehow it's ironic that I use many "you" throughout this page. You are always first and if not then you need to tell Yourself that You are #1. By doing this You gain something priceless: self confident. Now, isn't that something worth earning? I'm pretty sure it is. Next time when You walk down the street, keep your head high and mighty because You're first and always will be.

It's something like this: why did it suddenly turn so bright? Wala! That's because You just walked into the room. Confidence is the answer, it shows that you are proud of Yourself. That's what links You with "Me, Myself, and I". The key ingredient to confidence, being able to say proudly those four words and mean it.

I need not to explain the impact of society, it's more of a visual. But I will leave off with a nicely written poem by Marge Piercy:

Barbie Doll

This girlchild was born as usual
and presented dolls that did pee-pee
and miniature GE stoves and irons
and wee lipsticks the color of cherry candy.
Then in the magic of puberty, a classmate said:
You have a great big nose and fat legs.

She was healthy, tested intelligent,
possessed strong arms and back,
abundant sexual drive and manual dexterity.
She went to and fro apologizing.
Everyone saw a fat nose on thick legs.

She was advised to play coy,
exhorted to come on hearty,
exercise, diet, smile and wheedle.
Her good nature wore out
like a fan belt.
So she cut off her nose and her legs
and offered them up.

In the casket displayed on satin she lay
with the undertaker's cosmetics painted on,
a turned-up putty nose,
dressed in a pink and white nightie.
Doesn't she look pretty? everyone said.
Consummation at last.
To every woman a happy ending.

Ah, last words, maybe a sentence...how does a paragraph sound. We are viewed, first impressions are not always the real ones. Perspectives matters and each and everyone's different. Egg sandwiches with ketchup is tasty. We are blind to see that society's major influence on us, we look at the pretty pictures of pretty people in pretty magazines then we want to be just like them.

Some changes who they are just to be a part of the "ideal" figure. They lose themselves within society's influence. I'm not trying to tell you to flush all your makeup, fashion, or anything down the toilet and out to sea. I'm trying to say when you follow that path, don't forget who you are and remember: Don't lose yourself.

Next time when you put on makeup, judge how you look and how others look, knock on the door of your inner self and see if you're still there. I just found the perfect ending (hint that nothing's ever perfect) "Look in the mirror and love yourself." You'd be glad that you did.