Perfect Parenting - Starts From The Home ...
All about being responsible parents and up-bringing of a child from birth till adulthood, where Perfect Parenting focuses more on the parents rather than the children.
What Is Perfect Parenting ... ?
It's all about the ACTIONS and not REACTIONS .....
There are times when every parent and caregiver can use some help and a few fresh ideas. It will help you get through the day-to-day issues you face with your children. What you'll find here are practical, common sense solutions that will make your life easier. Every child is different, and every parent is different. Because of this, there are no right or wrong solutions that will work for everyone. I suggest that by reviewing all the solutions and take a few quiet minutes to think about them, then modify the suggestions to best suit your family, and don't be afraid to try out more than one until you discover your best answer.
Key Points To Perfect Parenting .....
- Point #1 : TAKE CHARGE.
If your child doesn't clearly understand that YOU are the boss, even minor issues can cause you major headaches. Your first response to this statement may be, "Oh, but my children know who's the boss in our house." You may think they do, but there are many ways we give mixed messages and confuse our kids over this issue. The first step to taking charge is simply to give yourself permission to be in charge, and begin expecting your children to obey you. With this solid foundation you will build a loving, trusting relationship with your children. And, perhaps even more important, you will be able to lead your children into adulthood with values, wisdom and life skills that only a strong, supportive parent can impart. - Point #2 : TELL, DON'T ASK.
Tell, don't ask. One popular mistake parents make is asking instead of telling. The way you phrase your words determines whether your children see your request as optional or required. Banish all wishy-washy phrases from your vocabulary.
When you want your child to do something (or stop doing something) make a clear, specific statement that leaves no room for confusion.
Example :
1) Kids, don't you think it's time to get ready for bed? ( ASK the kids )
2) It's eight o'clock. Time to shut off the TV and put on your pajamas. ( TELL the kids ) - Point #3 : WHEN YOU SAY IT, MEAN IT.
Some parents are in the habit of repeating a request over and over and over (and over!) before taking any action to see that a child complies with the request. Children have radar that tells them exactly when adults really mean what they say, and when they don't. Some parents really mean it only after repeatedly ignored requests. This is usually highlighted by a red face, a tense body, a child's middle name clenched between gnashing teeth, and a fist pounding the table to the tune of, "...and I mean it young man!" Make yourself a promise to mean what you say - the first time you say it. What this means is that after you've made a clear statement of what is required you take action.
For example, if you call your child in from the yard and he doesn't immediately respond you will have to put forth the extra effort to go out to the yard, take him by the hand and announce, "When I call you I expect you to come." The beauty of this style is that you only have to "prove" yourself once or twice for your child to understand that, indeed, when you say it you mean it. Remember, always be consistent. - Point #4 : BE SPECIFIC & BRIEF.
There is a disease that is rampant among parents. It's called lecture-babble. The most obvious symptom is an emotional run-on sentence that goes on forever, punctuated by highlights of previous award wining monologues.
An example; you send your children upstairs with a polite request to get ready for bed. Half an hour later you discover that they're having a pillow fight. The parent infected with lecture-babble says, "I sent you kids up here thirty minutes ago to get ready for bed and nobody's even STARTING to get ready and it's after eight o'clock and it's a school night and WHY do we have to go through this EVERY single night couldn't you just ONCE get ready for bed without my getting angry about it and why is this room such a MESS again can't you ever ....." (and the babble goes on and on for the next 10 - 20 minutes ).
There is a cure for this dreaded disease. It involves making an effort to talk less, but say more. In other words, be very specific in your description, but use as few words as necessary. Even when the kids have ignored the first polite request, the above disastrous speech can be transformed into something like this, "Kids, it's eight thirty. Pajamas. Now. And Lights Off !" As you can see, this statement is clear and short. It is easy to understand. The advantages of using this technique are twofold. Your kids will cooperate more frequently with a brief, specific statement as kids may not understand what you want them to do by blabbing on and on. - Point #5 : THINK FIRST, THEN ACT.
The times when you act before you think reflect the worst moments in parenting. Those are the times when you lose your patience; those horrible moments when you screech, bellow, threaten or hit. These moments occur most often to parents who are unprepared for the parenting job. None of us are born knowing how to be parents. We can love our kids with our whole heart and soul, but we aren't born with a gene that gives us an instinctual knowledge of the right consequence to impart when our children misbehave, nor do we automatically know how to solve daily child rearing problems. We won't learn a Perfect Parenting process by chance. It takes research, thought and planning to decide upon the best solution to any problem.
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goldenprosperity
A simple and concise bit of advice any parent can utilize and just in time for that New Years Resolution. Posted December 29, 2007 |
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