Personal Statement - Examples of What to Do/What Not to Do
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Personal Statement HowTo
Wondering how to start the dreaded "Personal Statement" aka, the college admission essay? You are not alone. We have all dreaded writing personal statements...probably since their inception. We work hard in school to get good grades, we prepare ourselves for the SAT and ACT, we try and have a number of good looking activities inside and outside of school, only to have a small 500 to 600 word essay define us to the admissions officers of our favorite colleges and universities! No wonder nobody wants to write these things.
Well, writing a personal statement is not hard, if you have the right tools. We are going to talk about some of the biggest mistakes and some of the best things you can do in your essay.
Well, writing a personal statement is not hard, if you have the right tools. We are going to talk about some of the biggest mistakes and some of the best things you can do in your essay.
Top 10 Things Not to Include in Your Personal Statement
Examples of What NOT to Do
Okay, let's get started with a list of things you do not want to do or include in your application essay.
DON'T MAKE YOUR ESSAY TOO LONG
Most people think that the more they give, the better they look. Let's be honest, this is not a composition class where your teacher is trying to get you to exercise your ability to write. This is a chance for you to let the admissions officers gain a little insight into who you are, what makes you tick. Do it quickly and effectively. Length should not be more than 600 words in most cases.
DON'T MAKE A BUNCH OF SILLY MISTAKES
Proofread your essay...and then give it to two other people (that you trust can speak the English language well) to proofread for you. This is critical. A bunch of simple punctuation, spelling, and/or grammar errors are a sure fire way of making it to the round file. Don't lose on a silly mistake, lose on merits if you are going to lose at all.
DON'T TELL THEM YOUR LIFE STORY
Most students don't realize that this is not a time to tell them about all of your talents, how you went to Africa, how you are the best cheerleader. This is not a time to toot your horn. This is a time to show the admissions officers how you tick, what gets you excited, etc. It is not about the goal, it is about the journey. You probably have to unlearn what you have learned a bit to realize what I am saying here. Re-read it a few times if you have to!
DON'T TELL THEM ABOUT YOU, SHOW THEM
You are not shoving details of your life down their throats, you are showing them a little piece of you. Don't tell them how great you are either...this is something I will probably reiterate again. This is not your autobiography. Show them something that very few people, if anyone, knows about you.
DON'T LIST YOUR ACCOLADES
Following up on the last one, don't just give them a list of titles, awards and other stuff that you have won because you think it shows them that you are the one for their school....because it doesn't.
DON'T WASTE TIME SETTING UP THE MOOD
This is a short (500 to 600 word essay), so don't waste your time trying to set up the scene. Get in there, be concise and get out. Write your first draft without much regard for brevity. You will then need to revise at least 2 to 3 more times before you arrive at your final (or close to) essay.
NO CONTROVERSY
Stay away from the controversial subjects like religion, politics and the like. This is not a good way to show someone something about you. This is a good way to tick some people off if you don't see eye to eye with them, no matter how impartial they are supposed to be. Just don't do it.
NO CLICHE ENDINGS
I am not sure when this stuff started, but it must have been a long time ago...because people did it when I was in high school (and I am getting old!). Don't use a cliche or some other "catchy" ending...it has no place here. This is about selling yourself without selling. You sell yourself by giving someone insight into you. No quotes either....unless it is the key item of your essay....which it is probably not.
FORGET WHAT YOU THINK THEY WANT TO HEAR
This is probably the most commonly asked question: "What do admission officers want to hear?" They don't know. But, what they do know is they don't want to read something that sounds like any of the stuff above. It is not about what "they want to hear."
MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
Don't talk about money as some kind of motivating factor behind something. Conversely, don't talk about how you don't need it either.
CRISIS ALERT
Just because you have not cured some major disease does not mean you do not have something to write about. More importantly, don't use one as a crutch here either. If you have a physical or mental disability or disease, I am sorry, but it doesn't belong in this essay.
DON'T MAKE YOUR ESSAY TOO LONG
Most people think that the more they give, the better they look. Let's be honest, this is not a composition class where your teacher is trying to get you to exercise your ability to write. This is a chance for you to let the admissions officers gain a little insight into who you are, what makes you tick. Do it quickly and effectively. Length should not be more than 600 words in most cases.
DON'T MAKE A BUNCH OF SILLY MISTAKES
Proofread your essay...and then give it to two other people (that you trust can speak the English language well) to proofread for you. This is critical. A bunch of simple punctuation, spelling, and/or grammar errors are a sure fire way of making it to the round file. Don't lose on a silly mistake, lose on merits if you are going to lose at all.
DON'T TELL THEM YOUR LIFE STORY
Most students don't realize that this is not a time to tell them about all of your talents, how you went to Africa, how you are the best cheerleader. This is not a time to toot your horn. This is a time to show the admissions officers how you tick, what gets you excited, etc. It is not about the goal, it is about the journey. You probably have to unlearn what you have learned a bit to realize what I am saying here. Re-read it a few times if you have to!
DON'T TELL THEM ABOUT YOU, SHOW THEM
You are not shoving details of your life down their throats, you are showing them a little piece of you. Don't tell them how great you are either...this is something I will probably reiterate again. This is not your autobiography. Show them something that very few people, if anyone, knows about you.
DON'T LIST YOUR ACCOLADES
Following up on the last one, don't just give them a list of titles, awards and other stuff that you have won because you think it shows them that you are the one for their school....because it doesn't.
DON'T WASTE TIME SETTING UP THE MOOD
This is a short (500 to 600 word essay), so don't waste your time trying to set up the scene. Get in there, be concise and get out. Write your first draft without much regard for brevity. You will then need to revise at least 2 to 3 more times before you arrive at your final (or close to) essay.
NO CONTROVERSY
Stay away from the controversial subjects like religion, politics and the like. This is not a good way to show someone something about you. This is a good way to tick some people off if you don't see eye to eye with them, no matter how impartial they are supposed to be. Just don't do it.
NO CLICHE ENDINGS
I am not sure when this stuff started, but it must have been a long time ago...because people did it when I was in high school (and I am getting old!). Don't use a cliche or some other "catchy" ending...it has no place here. This is about selling yourself without selling. You sell yourself by giving someone insight into you. No quotes either....unless it is the key item of your essay....which it is probably not.
FORGET WHAT YOU THINK THEY WANT TO HEAR
This is probably the most commonly asked question: "What do admission officers want to hear?" They don't know. But, what they do know is they don't want to read something that sounds like any of the stuff above. It is not about what "they want to hear."
MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
Don't talk about money as some kind of motivating factor behind something. Conversely, don't talk about how you don't need it either.
CRISIS ALERT
Just because you have not cured some major disease does not mean you do not have something to write about. More importantly, don't use one as a crutch here either. If you have a physical or mental disability or disease, I am sorry, but it doesn't belong in this essay.
Online Personal Statement Resources
Here are a list of websites that can help you in your quest to craft a great and memorable personal statement and help you on your way to the school of your dreams.
- Personal Statement Blueprint
- This was created after I began writing this page. This is a must visit if for nothing more than all of the great free content they give you. Anyone applying to college or planning on applying to college (or has kids of age) should visit this site and check out their offerings.
Top 10 Things to Include in Your Personal Statement
Coming soon are the top 10 things you should include in your personal statement. Stay tuned. Just need a little sleep!
by jasongolod
jasongolod
Just about every college application has an essay called a Personal Statement. For most college applicants, this is the most difficult task they will... more »
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