Pet Grieving - 5 Myths that will keep you from Healing

This is something that I struggle with very much shortly after my dog pass away, I felt so hurt and I truly believed that if I stopped feeling sad about his death I would forget him. I was very adamant about it too, if I read anything about me feeling better soon I would get upset, I thought I will not do this I will not forget him. Rational NO but this was my reality at the time, and I am grateful for it because it brought me to open my mind and heart to other possibilities.

"Just know that your pet was lucky to have had you to care for him, you gave him a wonderful life and when he was ready to go, you let him pass with grace."

Questioning and doubting what you could have done or not done does not accomplish anything; this will only stall the natural grieving process. As painful as this is, dwelling on the pass will not bring your pet back and certainly not help you heal in any way, shape or form.

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity."
Henry Van Dyke

If anybody refers to your loss in this matter, wish them well and move on. Yes this is real; your pain is real asking someone that does not share your same beliefs about pets to be compassionate for your loss is a lost cause. You are not being dramatic, you are grieving a terrible loss and deal with it as you would with a close friend or family member.

This is not something that I knew I was thinking, but when I started questioning myself around the pain I was feeling when I thought of him being in a "better place" I quickly found out, from the emotions I was expressing, that I truly did not believe that and that caused a lot of pain for my. I started feeling a whole lot better when I chose to believe that my pet was in a wonderful place, I stared visualizing him young and healthy again. This brought some much relief and joy.

A POEM FOR THE GRIEVING...

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die...
-Anonymous

This was something that people were offering to me, it actually upset me more. To think that you can just replace him/her what do they think this is a worn out pair of shoes, the amount of pain I was feeling nothing could replace the loss. Dealing with the loss was the healthiest way to deal with it, the passing of a pet or person for that matter should be about growth. A lesson, opportunities to acknowledge all of the wonderful memories you had with this loved one and know that this will always remain in your heart.

I hope this has been helpful, I do not expect this to magically make it all better but know that you are not alone and there is no need to isolate yourself to deal with this pain you are experiencing.

Just know that there are some wonderful resources available to get your through this time of your life with the most grace and easy. Some of the techniques available go from learning how to change your physiology and feel better immediately to recovering from grief by breathing and relaxing through guided meditations. Their are tons of tools don't shut yourself out this will only prolong the process.