My Pet Peeves

My mission after work the other day was to pick up 2 items - Toilet Paper and Pickles, what a combo, right?

Toilet paper went pretty smoothly, they stack it almost to the ceiling and but it didn't avalanche on me as usual...

The Pickles - well, that's another story....I stroll to the aisle where "my" pickles are and there's not one, not two, but THREE stockers puttin' up - you guessed it - pickles. (One case)

Normally, when someone sees a customer approach a counter they are working on, they will move aside and maybe even GREET YOU.

This was not to be - they just continued putting up jars of pickles - SLOWLY - while carrying on their conversation. Being the nice person that I am, I walked over to the next aisle to see if there's anything I needed there - nope- so I stroll back over to the "pickle aisle" and they were not even phased. Still deep in conversation.

So...I parked my shopping cart and proceeded to the next store....

Pet Peeve #100 - Pissed About Pickles

Grocery stores are aggravating enough with people blocking the aisles with their buggies oblivious to anyone else shopping in the stores. Not to mention the stores cram so much merchandise in the middle of the aisles that customers have to zig zag with each other to get by and actually shop.

But now the LATEST thing is the price tags - no, not how MUCH everything costs -but how it's impossible to even know WHAT the price is! You know the ones: 5 for $6.65 or 10 for 14.5677855! I mean unless you are a math wizard or have a calculator with you, you have no idea how much ONE item cost!

And you know we've always been taught to look for the "unit" price. Well, that's impossible when one item list the cost per ounce and the next item list the cost per pound.

I'm sure the grocery stores have their reasons for doing this - and it's NOT in our favor. Just like manufacturers reduce the amount in a package instead of raising the price!

I guess they'll make another sale off of me - a calculator!

When I fart they act so surprised...I mean they perk up and their eyes get wide like, "What was that?"

I know dogs fart - they usually do the "silent but deadly ones". 'Course we humans are more advanced so we can do the "silent but deadly" ones AND the loud robust ones.

Of course word from the older and wiser to younger people - be careful with the "silent but deadly" ones - (like I tell my daughter), one of these days you'll think you are safe passing a silent one but when you get older you MAY just get a BIG surprise! O.K., I won't elaborate on that....DEPENDS anyone?

"Pork Rules" but that also includes Pork Skins!

And I'm sure "My Girl" Paula Deen would agree! I don't know if they have pork skins in the North, so if you don't know what Pork Skins are - that's very simple - basically it's FRIED FAT. And I'm not gonna go into the our Southern rituals of a "Pig Pickin' '" - but when that pig is done the first layer is that crispy skin that has been on the hot coals overnight. Crispy, hot, and definitely a Southern delicacy!

O.K., something tells me they are not the most healthy thing in the world BUT they are portable, transportable, affordable, and adorable! (And now microwavable!)

Not to mention if you are on the South Beach Diet or the Atkins Diet you can eat these until the cows come home!

And as usual, something didn't hit me right. Trying to eat right and save some money, I ordered a garden salad - which is around $4.00. The very kind waitress asked me if I would like cheese on it, "Oh yes, that would be nice!" I said. I do need my daily dairy.

When I got the check, it was a dollar extra for the cheese! AND they charge 50 cents for water! So I figure that amount of cheese is about $16.00 per pound! Do you know much cheese you can buy at a grocery store for $16.00 - not to mention meat?

So, my bill for a bowl of greens and of course - CHEESE, and water costs $6.00! I'm sure for city-slickers this may be the norm. But a country bumpkin like me tends to think how many salads I could make for $6.00 - including meat!

Pet Peeve #1648826428
Cheesey Cheese Practices

Good movie, didn't realize Julia Child was so "fiesty"! My girl is Paula Deen. She is the Southern Julia Child! Do you think I should cook my way through one of Paula Deen's cookbooks? I would just need a truckload of butter. Nah....think I'll just keep dreaming about eating at her restaurant in Savannah!

After 25 years of watching the "Big O" (Oprah Winfrey) ,she is leaving a major network and launching her OWN Network on cable. However, like many folk - I only have basic cable, and have no plans to upgrade since the channels I have are more than enough for me considering my nose is always in my PC.

A shame though 'cause I've watched her past episodes about her new network and was really getting pumped - like it was the only channel I would ever need!

Don't get me wrong - I don't mind Oprah Winfrey one bit for moving forward. After 25 years of doing the same thing who wouldn't be ready to move on? And from what I've read the OWN network will probably eventually be added to the basic packages.

Pet Peeve #1948397 - No Mo O!

There's a soul food restaurant in town that serves great home cooked soul food,

I''m talking pig's feet (which I don't eat but my friends do), the Best Macaroni And Cheese, Cornbread, Sweet Tea, Red Velvet Cake, Collard Greens, - O.K., I'll stop now.

The thing is this place is on the "bad" side of town, we were afraid when we came back out the car would be on cement blocks with the tires gone - but, we had dreams of sugar-plums in our heads! We usually go there on Fridays cause - well- for the rest of day we are pretty much slumped over our desks.

BUT, as we were leaving this restaurant I noticed shot gun shells and a used um...condom in the parking lot. from the night before.

Oh well...it was worth it!

I've noticed a common denominator in my Pet Peeves - almost all of them involve Food! I guess that's because food is my passion in life.

Hence, my experience at Pizza Hut the other day.

First of all, the buffet at Pizza Hut is almost $8.00 - I can buy a steak for that! But, we had one of those coupon things to buy one buffet get one free.

We get there exactly at noon and the pizza on the buffet looks dry and old. O.K. , I figure I'll just eat my salad while they bring out more (fresh) pizza. We wait, and wait, and wait - looking at our watches because after all, we do only get ONE HOUR for lunch!

They brought out a pizza but there was a table of men on it like white on rice so I didn't even attempt to invade their garden party.

Then there was the pizza with chicken - if I want chicken I'll go to KFC. Then the pizza with pineapple on it - NOT happening. And then the pepperoni pizza with the jalapenos on that looked just like bell pepper - I fear that if an elderly person bit into it they would blow out their dentures! And if a young child bit into it they would blow out a diaper!

AND THEN IT HAPPENED.....A group of men came in, whispered something to the waitress and sat down. THE WAITRESS WENT TO THE AREA WHERE THEY CUT THE PIZZA'S - TOOK HALF OF THE PEPPERONI PIZZA INTENDED FOR THE BUFFET, AND HAND DELIVERED THE PLATE OF PIZZA TO THEIR TABLE!!

That's when I blew out my dentures AND diaper! You know how when your our age and your face gets real hot and you're afraid your gonna have a stroke?

So she comes toward our table and I give her the finger, no, not THAT finger (I save THAT finger for people texting and driving ((Honk if you love Jesus - Text if you want to meet him)) )

No, it was the "come hither" finger. And I asked her WHEN they were going to put out more pizza - of course she said "soon". Then I asked her if SHE WAS GOING TO HAND DELIVER OUR PIZZA, TOO!"

BUSTED.

Well, we got pretty good service after that AND our plate of PEPPERONI PIZZA. Not some kind of pizza a Fruit Bat would eat!

Pet Peeve #476289400 Pizza Hut Rut

I don't know why companies don't realize funny commercials CAN ACTUALLY catch our attention and get the message across.

I don't know if some of these prescription medicine commercials can ever be made funny (well, they already are) - I mean, while you're watching the guy enjoying his day without acid reflux - they're describing about 35 side effects. "you may not sleep for year, may grow another ear, your limbs may fall off, your manlyhood may shrivel up and fall off ". O.k., you get the message.

When I'm on the laptop I'm usually "in a zone". But there is one commercial that really gets my attention:

"TOBY!" You know the one, the little boy calls out, "Hey Mom, look at Toby's new trick!" and "Toby" (the dog) is dragging his ass across the carpet. Too funny!

The other day I ran up (well drove) to the local "Mom and Pop" convenience store. When I pulled out my checkbook the girl behind the counter said, "uh, oh".

I looked at her like, what? I mean I didn't have a stocking over my head and a water pistol pointed at her.

She said, "Are you on the check list?". Well, thinking back to the day when "the check list" was a list of names of people who had written bad checks, I said, "Well, I hope not!"

She said, "No, are you on the list TO WRITE CHECKS?" I'm like, "Are you kidding, I've been writing checks here for 25 years!"

So I left my stuff with her and told I would go up the road for now on....

Pet Peeve #23423345: New owners who don't appreciate loyal customers....

That use to be the mantra of the food business....I can understand fast food chains when you get a burger that looks like it has been slapped together by a baboon. Course I have got a burger at the drive thru where they forgot to put the beef patty - but things happen and that's about how my luck goes.

No, I'm talking about a walk-in restaurant where you pay good money to sit down and eat and are expected to leave a tip. And of course I have an example for ya'll!

The other day we were eating at a local Mom and Pop - great burgers! I noticed that everyone was ordering extra home fries - home cut and fried!

Now we know restaurants always will serve something in a smaller plate to make it look like you're getting more food. When they brought my plate - which was a small plate - there was a great looking burger - AND A SMALL HANDFUL OF FRIES.

You can buy a huge bag of potatoes - especially on sale - pretty darn cheap. So, WHY NOT spend maybe another 5 cents to fill up my plate (for these fries they are know for) and make my plate look overflowing and appealing.

What you don't want - well I would think - is the customer to immediately feel jaded when the plate is set down before you.

Pet Peeve #85577642 - Frugal on Fries

Today we went for lunch at Subway. I'm always at a loss for what to order - a young man was leaning against the back counter and I assumed he was just waiting for the next customer.

THEN, after me and my co-worker asked a question about a particular sandwich, he stepped up to the plate and started telling us all about the meats and that they are all turkey-based meat, etc. (He sensed I was looking for a "Jared" sandwich - low cal).

He then asked to take my order and you could just tell this young man really cared about his customer's. He may be just making sandwiches for now - but he will go far in life.

When I requested a dressing I wanted to try, he said, "I wouldn't recommend that for this particular sandwich". Oh my word, at that point I just asked him to put whatever condiments he thought would be good on my sandwich.

Can you believe it? That's what it's all about, here we are in a sub shop - and he made us feel "special". Like he REALLY wanted us to enjoy our meal! Who woulda thought?

Like I said, that young man will go far in life...

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