Phobias, Fears, Anxiety, Self Sabotage

Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people. Put another way, social anxiety is the fear and anxiety of being judged and evaluated by other people. If a person usually becomes anxious in social situations, but seems fine when they are alone or with family, then "social anxiety" may be the problem.

Some common triggers include:
Being introduced to other people
Being teased or criticized
Being the center of attention
Being watched or observed while doing something
Having to say something in a formal, public situation
Meeting people in authority ("important people/authority figures")
Feeling insecure and out of place in social situations ("I don't know what to say.")
Embarrassing easily (e.g., blushing, shaking)
Meeting other peoples' eyes

What it might feel like:
Anxiety, intense fear, nervousness, automatic negative thinking cycles, racing heart, blushing, excessive sweating, dry throat and mouth, trembling, and muscle twitches.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
This is my approach to working with social anxiety. It is treatable and results tend to be very good!

Fear of Success may also been attributed to Atychiphobia: Fear of failure. Negative self-talk leads to self-sabotage and more... Let's meander down this road.

Examples of where you may be secretly sabotaging yourself while wrongly assuming you're strengthening your position with others.

Expressing contrived concern for someone's well being.
Making small talk to smooth out the edges.
Hanging onto someone's every word.
Looking for someone's approval.
Asking if someone is angry with you.
Fishing for positive feedback or a kind word.
Trying to impress someone.
Gossiping.
Explaining yourself to others.

Is the opposite of Self-Care, Self-Sabotage?
Does it ever seem like you're working against yourself? Do you ever ask yourself - Why did I do that?? Sabotage: the act or process tending to hamper or hurt" or "deliberate subversion".

Why on earth would anyone want to sabotage themselves?
Here is the complicated and simple answer. It is a choice.

Generally, it can feel uncomfortable and somewhat threatening to imagine changing, growing or making conscious choices that we deliberately hamper our own efforts. "I make choices every minute of every day". "My life is up to me". Those are intimidating thoughts. And doing things the way we've always done them feels safe and comforting, even if they may be unhealthy or no longer serve our needs.

Something worth contemplating.